Madness or Love (Be With Me Book 1) (11 page)

Victoria’s body was on fire. Even the air she breathed
burned her lungs. Water. She opened her eyes and gasped. Ian’s body was wrapped
around her and was the cause of the heat wave. Somehow during the night, they’d
managed to entangle and become a ball of limbs and crumbled sheets. She stared
at his peaceful face and fought the urge to kiss his lips. She needed to get
away, to cool down, to stop imagining his hard, naked body. Victoria tried to
sneak out, but her movements only made him tighten his embrace. She surrendered,
and her body relaxed. It would have been so easy to slip into the daydream, to
believe in them, to be with him. The truth was anything else apart from their
friendship was madness. The pain of the denial and her dissatisfaction coursed
through her for the millionth time. She took a breath and whispered his name.

“Ian.”

The sound of her voice, although lighter than a
whisper, made him open his eyes in an instant. The eyes of a frightened little
girl stared at him—wide and fragile. He tried to move, but his body felt stiff
and numb. He finally realized the state of their bodies.

“I’m sorry.” He pushed away unwillingly.

A scarlet color washed over Victoria’s face, and she
pulled the sheets around her. “It’s okay,” she lied. “We probably need to go
anyway. We have a long drive ahead.”

Ian turned away and sat on the bed with his back to
her. He buried his face in his hands and let out a deep sigh. “I’ll go to the
bathroom first, if you don’t mind,” he mumbled, and got up without waiting for
a reply.

Victoria waited for him to close the door and
grumbled. The tension in the room was almost visible. Ever since her stupid
mistake at the club, the dynamic between them had changed. A hint of doom lingered
in the air, and the unspoken words of love hung over their heads. And despite
her efforts to keep the relationship light and friendly, the damage was done.
She covered her face with the sheets that still kept Ian’s scent. Her body
reacted instantly, and a scorching heat wave swept through her. And if that
wasn’t disturbing enough, a sweet pain spread down her stomach. How was she
supposed to fight her own heart and mind? She got out of the bed and opened the
windows. The fresh morning air rushed in the room and brushed her sensitive
skin. She opened the wardrobe and fetched a clean T-shirt dress. The only sound
coming from the bathroom was the falling water. Victoria sighed and went to the
kitchen.

Ian had been under the shower too long, but his body
wouldn’t relax despite the chilly water. He let the cold sink to his core, but
his racing heart would not relax. Staring into Victoria’s eyes in the morning
had been sweet but painful. Being so close and not being able to touch her, to
express his feelings, was a torture to his soul and body. Although he’d come to
confess, Ian didn’t think she was ready for the ultimate change that was about
to swipe everything they knew. He turned off the water and entered the bedroom.
The space was empty, and he quickly dressed and stepped out.

Victoria was busy. The kitchen was full of light and
delicious aromas—fresh ground coffee, croissants, toast, and a hint of
strawberry jam. She heard his steps and turned to greet him.

“Hey. I hope you’re hungry.” Her face lit up.

“I am now. You’re magic. Where did all the food come
from?”

She laughed. “The perks of living on top of a bakery.
You can start; I’ll take a quick shower.”

She made her way to the bedroom, but he took her hand
and pulled her into a heart-warming embrace. “Happy birthday,” he whispered in
her ear, pulled away and kissed her forehead.

She stifled a moan. “Thank you.”

His hands enchained her again, and he buried his face
in her hair. “I
—
” He stopped and took a breath. “I
wish you find everything you ever dreamed for.” They stood like that for a few
more seconds until he released her. Victoria gave him a half-smile, went into
the bedroom, and shut the door behind her back. She closed her eyes briefly,
savoring the feeling of warmth and love that had engulfed her. “You’re losing
your mind,” she scolded herself. Victoria undressed and turned on the shower,
hoping the water would soothe her overloaded body.

* * *

They drove toward Alton Towers in silence for the
first half hour until they were out of town and on the highway. Victoria tried
to focus on the traffic instead of on the gorgeous man in the passenger seat. She
failed. Even in the awkward silence, she could find peace and joy. Their
combined energies had an explosive charge, but despite that, she felt at the
right place. There was nowhere else she would rather be. Not without Ian. She
sighed inwardly and chased the thoughts of naked bodies and burning passion.

Ian looked at her out of the corner of his eye. Her
body was tense, and her grip on the steering wheel was too tight. He cleared
his throat. “Maybe I can drive for a while.”

“What?” She glanced at him. “No, I’m fine.”

“Are you?” he insisted.

Victoria fell silent.

“Listen, V, I can feel something’s off with you. I
hope you know you can tell me anything.” He touched her hand, and she jumped in
her seat. A frown formed on Ian’s forehead. “Ever since that Thomas guy, you’re
keeping me at arm’s length. Are you still mad at me?”

Victoria wanted to scream. He was right, though. She
had been afraid she might lose him, but at the end, she was the one who shut
him out. Maybe if she could just figure out how to be his friend and be in love
with him at the same time, their relationship would get back on track.

“I’m sorry. I’m not mad,” she said sincerely.

“Good.” He grinned. “I hate fighting with you; it’s so
unnatural.”

They spent the rest of the journey listening to the
radio, singing all the songs, and laughing when they messed up the lyrics. A
carefree vibe surrounding them was deceiving. Both had troubling thoughts on
their minds. Victoria was desperate to shove her love aside, while Ian planned
to let the love out.

It took almost three hours to get to their
destination, and when Victoria finally parked the car and got out, she flexed
her stiff muscles. They were in the middle of nowhere. Green woods and clear
skies were all they could see from the parking lot. Distant screams rang in the
air, and she smiled. It was going to be a wild day. Ian was silent, taking in
the scenery and breathing in the fresh air.

“Where is the park?” he asked in bewilderment. He had
expected some grand open space, not a nature that was about to reclaim its
territory. The most amazing thing about England for him was the fact that a few
miles off the highways, you were transported in time, hundreds of years back.
There were places suspended in time, frozen in the 1800s. The modern and the
old mixed in unusual ways.

Victoria looked at his excited but confused eyes.
“You’ll see.” She took his hand and, without knowing, led him to their future.

Hand in hand, Victoria and Ian reached the main
entrance and stepped into the park. The view was breathtaking. Set in the
middle of 800 acres of the former Duke of Shrewsbury’s countryside estate, the
main feature was the towers that lay in ruins. Gardens, lakes, woods, people,
and rides were mixed into one unforgettable potion of magic. The place was full
of life and laughter and modern spirit, but at the same time, the grounds
carried a sense of the past. Ian stopped mid track, taking it all in, eyes
wide. Victoria waited patiently for him to soak up the surroundings.

“It’s unexpected,” he said in awe.

She gave him a warm smile. “I told you there is a
castle involved. I can’t wait to show you around. Come on!” She took his hand
and dragged him toward the Towers. “We should see Hex first.”

“Are you sure you’re not related to Harry Potter?”

“Maybe I am. Be careful; I might cast a spell on you.”
They had just reached the entrance when he answered.

“You already did.”

* * *

The day progressed too fast. Their bodies were full of
adrenaline, and they both felt powerful and untouchable. The mix of fear,
expectation, and joy made Victoria’s body tingle. Her eyes shined bright, her
cheeks were strawberry red, and her face was set in a never-ending smile. Ian
stared at her, and loving warmth filled his being. He could never be happier,
but something was missing. His lips craved hers, and his body ached with
anticipation. He was about to turn their reality upside down.

They had decided to leave the scariest ride for last.
No way could they manage to see and experience everything in one day, but that
didn’t matter. They lived for the moment when they were together. They had
gotten all wet on the Congo River Rapids and had decided to take a break and
relax in the Explorers Pizza Pasta Buffet, taking in the sun on the lovely
terrace.  They hadn’t eaten much, but standing in front of the Rita—Queen of
Speed, Ian’s stomach lurched and set in a tight knot.

“I am not sure about that,” he said hesitantly. They
were waiting at the Fastrack.

She turned around and looked at him seriously. “You
are not bailing on me now.”

Ian swallowed. “I think the last pizza slice was a
mistake.” His eyes darted to the screaming people on the ride.

“We came all this way. Don’t be a chicken!” She
laughed and took his hand. They moved forward and, in five minutes, were seated
and buckled up.

All the blood drained from Ian’s face, and he felt
sick. “Victoria,” he started.

She looked at his frightened eyes and smiled. “We are
in this together. You fall, I fall. There is no reason to be afraid.”

He stared at her calm and peaceful face, at her green,
beacon eyes that were capable of melting an iceberg, and miraculously, the fear
left his body. She beamed at him, sensing his capitulation, but in a second,
the color of his eyes darkened and a flash of desire coursed through them.

There was no more time to delay the truth. “God, I
love you so much,” he blurted out.

And three, two, one . . . They were flying.

The sky spun. Deaf to the sounds around her, Victoria
tried to take a breath and failed. Her back was glued to the seat, the wind
attacked her face, and her mind drifted away.
I love you.
The words were
swirling around, caressing her soul. She wanted to move, to look at him, to
find out the truth, but she tried in vain. The force was too great.
Why now?
The air had left her lungs, and she felt her mind slipping into
unconsciousness.
It doesn’t mean anything, you fool.
She scowled at
herself. Despite her brain, her soul was about to explode.

Like a giant puzzle, the whole picture came into view.
Every gesture, every word, every look took shape. She rewound every event since
Ian set foot in her home, and gasped. The much-needed oxygen finally filled her
body and cleared her clouded mind.
He loves you.
A giant lump stuck in
her throat. Was he mad? They both were, because her buried hope resurfaced in a
blink. A strange, claustrophobic feeling took over her body. When was this ride
going to end? Hours had passed since Ian blurted the forbidden words—or
seconds? She needed to think, to clear her mind, and that wasn’t about to
happen while they were flying through the air. Someone heard her silent prayer,
and the roller-coaster ground to a halt.

Like someone had pressed the mute button, the world
came to life again. People were laughing and chatting happily. The safety lifted
up, and Victoria finally looked at the man sitting next to her. Pure excitement
had settled into his blue eyes.

He jumped off his seat and screamed, “Wow, that was .
. . Let’s do this again!”

The adrenaline had wiped the panic away and replaced
it with a bubbly feeling of freedom and joy. Victoria just gazed at him, unable
to move. Ian sensed her uneasiness. “Do you need help?”

She shook her head. Ian stepped closer. “What’s
wrong?” A growing concern seeped through his voice. She made an effort to get
up, but her wobbly feet betrayed her. Fast like a lightning bolt, he lunged
forward and supported her weight. “Jesus, V, let me get you out of here.”

Her body shivered when his hands wrapped around her
waist, and a deep sigh escaped her lips. He looked at her out of the corner of
his eye, and something told him that the damn ride wasn’t the reason for her
sickness. His grip tightened. Suddenly the noise surrounding them had become
deafening. He wanted nothing more than to be alone with her, to kiss her pale
face and make her feel better.

The heat radiating from his body made her
uncomfortable. “Let me go,” she managed to say with a meek voice. He ignored
the request. “Ian,” she repeated, “please.”

Making his way through the crowd, Ian finally reached
the exit, took a quick look at the surroundings, and headed to a nearby bench.
He made her sit, and turned away. “I’ll bring some water. Don’t move!”

Victoria stared blankly at his back. A flash of anger
rose deep inside her. A madness. She had sacrificed her love with the hope to
keep their friendship intact. Why was he playing around? Why was he setting booby
traps? Now, one wrong word or gesture was capable of destroying everything they
had built. She saw him running toward her, and her heart jumped.