Mage of Shadows (9 page)

As their freshman roommate, I had easy purchase to join their daily routines if I really wanted. I could join their clubs, study groups, sit with them, go out to eat with them… if there ever was an in crowd at the university then David and Raj lived in the center of that whirlwind of popularity. In the few weeks I had known them; it was almost a daily occurrence for them to offer in some way to allow me a way into their niche.

I had denied their every offer thus far. It wasn't as if I wasn't grateful or immensely against the idea of that kind of popularity- but I think I had the natural inclination to shy away from the spotlight. I had never been in the center of that whirlwind, and the idea of entering it was a little frightening. One rule if you wanted a quiet life as a mage; do not call attention to yourself needlessly. It would only serve to complicate your life.

That said, a quiet life wasn't how a person got ahead in the game. I could almost hear Swann in my head, extolling the virtues and dangers of the game we Users played. One day, one meeting, and already he had cemented himself in my thoughts. My respect for his ideas was matched only by the suspicion I had, and that was a dangerous combination. I knew nothing important of James, other than that I probably would need him. An alliance between mages was tenuous at best- and they had bitten me in the past- covens were much more secure… usually.

Friends close, enemies closer, right? What a tangled web we weave…

Despite the buzz of the TV and my steadily marching thoughts, I felt the tangle of the web spun in the last few days catching me in its complexities, and I no longer could muster the strength to break free. The leather of the couch had warmed from my body heat, and the tug of gravity on my eyelids became irresistible.

The last thought I could remember before I tumbled into the quiet oblivion of sleep- if I was the fly in that particularly fitting analogy- where, and who, was the spider?

The next week marched by seemingly without a moment's pause. My days were spent in class or one of the libraries. I was stupefied by how much studying I could actually be doing on a daily basis and still feel like I had accomplished little. When cramming, I would immediately dismiss things I didn't understand fully- there was no time to learn them better.

Now I had given myself the time, but using it wisely was difficult. The internet was a major distraction, as was all the talking that went on in the busy libraries such as the UGL. But when I would retreat to a quiet spot in some deserted corner I found the silence to be deafening, and worse than the noise. At least surrounded by chatter I didn't feel so isolated.

I had to acknowledge the grim realization that vowing to study harder and actually doing it were two very different things. There were significant small distractions in my life that I had always known in my head were a problem, but getting rid of them was a different kind of beast. It felt like trying to let go of a piece of me that just didn't want to go.

Luckily, I had left most of my books at home, so there was that. I read everything- I loved autobiographies and second-hand accounts on people of the past. Famous, relatively unknown, I could read for hours. That was all I really did at home, sometimes well into the night. Reading fiction was also a fun past-time, and I could always insist that it was 'research' when I read fantasy.

One other past-time that I had that I still did too much of was reading news articles. I had very strange ideas of fun in comparison to most people. When I was alone at home on my laptop and I had no new books to read, I would peruse online news sites just opening pages and pages of daily news articles. From political pieces to the sensational debris that was scattered through the nets- I read it all. I didn't watch sports, but I definitely read about them.

What could I really say? I had a fascination with the field of journalism that couldn't be easily sedated. I still saw myself one day being an action reporter/hero of the people. A modern day magical Indiana Jones, but not as grumpy as Harrison Ford. I would be the one to do it all… no one would ever accuse me of humility I suppose.

We're all the personal heroes of our own epics.

I also had the strangest Minesweeper addiction. I've literally played thousands upon thousands of games over the years. Thinking on it now, the only thing I could chalk it up to was that it was the weirdest sort of obsession. Some sort of selective attention disorder, I couldn't read a textbook for five minutes to save my life, but some inane news article or ten games of Minesweeper in a row? No problem.

It was so silly to think that such little things were holding me back… but I supposed when you compounded a bunch of small problems you get one huge one. I wasted a lot of time on things that had no significance to anything that I was trying to accomplish.

Really, I didn't even have a real social network to blame for my problems now either. Friends didn't take up any of my time, mostly because I didn't have any anymore. That was one problem that basically solved itself when I came out here.

If anything, the friends I did have were part of the solution. The very next class period in Bio, I sat right next to Eliza in the second row. She seemed a bit surprised, maybe she had thought I wasn't serious when I asked for her help or that she had overwhelmed me with her babbling. For a girl who could talk so much outside of class, she never as much as said a word while the professor was speaking.

After class, we talked and I convinced her that I knew a quiet spot in the UGL that we could get some studying done. The third floor of the library was supposedly meant for silent study, but that was all but ruined because of the mass amount of rectangular group study tables placed in neat rows and columns throughout the floor. Without the constant security patrols and demands for silence, it would probably be louder than a Friday night dance club. No joke, I've heard people literally blasting music from their speakers when security wasn't around.

However, there was one quiet corner in the back of the library's third floor that seemed to be reserved for people who actually wanted to study. Other than mild quiet conversations, there was absolute silence, barring the scratching of pencils and turning of pages. Jimmy had introduced it to me over the weekend, and like a proud child showing their parent how well they had learned their lesson, I was eager to show it off to Eliza.

Jimmy and Eliza cautiously seemed to take well to each other. Apparently just because Eliza seemed to be a know-it-all goody two-shoes didn't mean she didn't have an evil streak. She was a decent hacker in her own right, able to carry out technobabble conversations with Swann that I had no way of following. They may as well have been speaking in another language. Who needed computers anyways? They were only good for internet and minesweeper.

That Monday is when I met Nishtha Mehta as well.

Brown-skinned and slim, she could have passed for my roommate Raj's younger sister. She was shorter than even Eliza, not much taller than five feet. She held herself with a quiet determination that I found I could admire. Nishtha moved with solemn purpose, and seemed pleasant enough on the surface. Her dark chocolate eyes sparkled whenever she laughed and she was friendly. She seemed a bit cautious of me, however.

Jimmy introduced her with an easy smile and an arm around her shoulder, easily a foot taller than her. When she began a quiet polite conversation with Eliza, he shot me a look that clearly said 'off limits.' I smiled in return, trying to keep it from turning into a larger grin. Swann had nothing to fear from me, his girlfriend was cute enough, but I made it a policy to try and stay away from other guys' girlfriends.

I really only had one question about her.

With a moment of concentration, I grasped at the ever-present magical field around us and gave a strong tug.

Swann felt it and shot me another glare. Nishtha looked away from Eliza for just a moment to meet my eyes. She turned back almost immediately, but a few seconds later I felt her pull in an almost identical fashion. She gave no other sign that she noticed what I did, but that was more than enough to answer my question. Nishtha, like myself and Jimmy, was a mage.

Interesting.

On Wednesday when Eliza and Jimmy both had class, I had a chance to talk to her myself over lunch at a local sub shop located on the main campus.

"I was born in Ann Arbor," She told me between bites of her veggie sub- Nishtha didn't eat meat for religious reasons, which was something I could never imagine doing myself, "Both of my older brothers went to Wayne and loved it, so when I didn't get into U of M, this was my second choice."

"Cool," I mumbled, swallowing down a bite of my turkey sub. Deli sliced turkey- I could never live without that alone, never mind all meat, "Why Pre-Pharm instead of Pre-Med?"

Nishi smiled, "Personal choice, I guess. I'd rather be in a pharmacy instead of a hospital. Plus, there's no horrible residency period."

"Fair enough," I had to reply with a wince, which I tried to cover by taking another bite of my sandwich. Nishtha's small grin at the action was enough to tell me I wasn't very successful.

I changed the subject, "So when did you discover your ability?" I asked this question in a much lower tone. The sub shop was crowded, noisy, and we were in a fairly isolated spot in the furthest corner, but it didn't hurt to be careful with certain inquiries.

Nishi leaned forward to reply quietly, "Thirteen. It was a pretty big surprise. How about you?"

"Fifteen," I replied, thinking, "That must mean you've had a lot more practice."

She shrugged, frowning a bit, "Probably not as much more than you think… it's hard to find time and the space to practice. Still, my older brother helped a bit. When he sensed me for the first time he was so surprised- no one else in our family can use ma- has the ability." She amended the end of her statement quickly.

I was surprised by that, "I didn't think it was genetic. No one I knew had siblings who could do it as well. I figured it was just random."

"We were never sure." Nishtha admitted, "It might have just been luck that there were two of us in one family. It's not a common trait at all, you know? Jimmy is one of the only other mages that I've met."

"High school friends?" I ventured a guess; Jimmy was from Ann Arbor as well.

"Rivals, actually." Nishi replied with a smile, "He went to a different high school. In my junior year I was on the girls' volleyball team, no one could figure how I could hit the ball so hard- but I'm sure you know. Jimmy was in the stands and spotted it right away. I happened to be playing against his girlfriend at the time. Let's just say he helped their side out a bit… I was pretty mad at him for a while."

"And now you're dating." I commented, "That must be some story."

Nishi's smiled, her eyes distant for a moment, "Oh yes, it really is." But she didn't say anything more on the subject.

A moment of calculation made me realize something obvious, "If your brother went here, he was part of that group?" I of course meant Archanos, but no way was I saying that aloud in so public a place.

The Indian girl hesitated for a moment, her smile dimming noticeably, "Yes, he was. But he graduated, so he's not here anymore."

Jimmy and I had already discussed it and he told me about Alpha Phi Alpha, the mixed fraternity that served as Archanos' public recruiter amongst the students. We weren't sure if every member was a mage or not- but it seemed to be a very exclusive group. Internally I frowned at the reaction Nishtha had to my seemingly innocuous question. I didn't push the subject, instead steering the conversation to safer waters that were more appropriate for a public place. She relaxed almost immediately and I thought little more of it.

The rest of our meal passed with idle chatter, but I came out of it feeling like I understood the quiet, slight girl a little better than I had before. I liked her and felt I could trust her a bit more than I could Jimmy- which made no sense and honestly left me feeling a bit sexist. There was no other explanation for why she seemed more trustworthy than her boyfriend other than the fact that she was a girl and I automatically deemed her less of a threat.

It was silly, really. Girls could be ten times as dangerous as any guy, but tell that to my testosterone-laden subconscious that was plagued by years of social evolution that insisted that because men were naturally stronger that they were naturally better than women. It had gotten me into trouble in the past, and no doubt would continue to do so in the future.

I wasn't sure if it was because she liked me, the study area, or because she assumed Jimmy and Nishi were my close friends and she liked them, but Eliza sought us out every day after Monday. All of us lived on campus and over the following week we spent much of our time together in our own little corner away from the usual hustle, bustle, and bluster of the undergrad students.

It was a small knot of friends that I didn't know very well, but I found myself in a position that I hadn't been in in months- surrounded by companions that welcomed my presence with more than the expected politeness that came with living in modern society. It was a friendship as newly born as a recently sprouted sapling, but it glowed with the beauty of innocent creation.

This could last, I realized, as the week progressed with no change from Monday. Was this the group I wanted to run with, formed in a moment, to last years? I hadn't planned for it. Eliza wasn't supposed to be more than a means to an end; Jimmy was a cautiously recruited ally. Nishtha was completely unexpected.

Plans are made to go awry. We never end up with exactly what we expect to receive.

The sapling had taken root, and it would grow steadily in the passing of time as these things do. Despite months of solitude, I hadn't regressed into social awkwardness; I still knew how to talk to people- to gain trust. My wit, while not razor sharp, could still get a few quiet chuckles.

For the first time in months, I fit. It had happened quickly and subtly, but I couldn't change it now. Starved for attention, sick of solitude, whatever the reason- I didn't want to let go of that sense of belonging.