Maggie's Child (14 page)

Maggie closed her eyes, and reopened them to show she understood.

‘Lucy is going to come and give me a hand to wash and change you. Things are not wonderful below the bedclothes. We have managed to keep your dignity, but it is time to try and sit you in a chair and changed the bed linen. It is going to be very painful for you, but has to be done. Madam doesn’t want her son to be brought into the room until it is the case.’

Maggie’s heart missed a beat on hearing Nathaniel being called Mrs Arlington’s son. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional pains she had experienced in her past.

The women washed Maggie while she lay on the bed. She gripped at the bedclothes when each movement sent waves of fire through her body. Two footmen had been instructed on how to conduct themselves, and they lifted her gently from the bed into a large chair. They were thoughtful and gentle, and averted their eyes whenever required. She watched her bed being stripped and cleaned. It was so frustrating for her, a woman who kept busy on a daily basis.

At last the ordeal was over. Maggie and her bed were refreshed. She sat propped by soft down pillows. Despite her condition, she appreciated the luxury of her surroundings. She knew she must have been seriously ill for the family to place her in such a room. Soft pastel green walls, rich sage green velvet curtains, and contrasting accessories gave the illusion of a spring morning. Maggie felt like a queen. She imagined the London palace bedrooms to be of similar decor.

The household was a good one. It had been shocked and concerned for her. The Arlington family were not ruled by the strict codes of etiquette. They had their own rules and regulations on behaviour in their home. Those who live there abided by them without question. In the short time she had been amongst them, she had made many friends. They all enquired after her and sent messages wishing her good health. Small posies were sent to cheer her up, and Nanny said cook couldn’t wait to create tempting dishes.

 Alice had opened the window to a small slit, and a fresh autumn perfume filled her lungs. She sensed a moment of peace in her life. A tap on the door announced a visitor. Nanny opened it and spoke in whispers to whoever stood behind.

Maggie, for some unknown reason, was embarrassed when Dukes walked over to her. He had a big smile across his face and a look of concern in his eyes.

‘Mrs Summers said I can only have a moment. I had to fight her for entry, I know it is not proper, but I wanted to say hello. To see you awake for a change. It has been a dreadful week for us all. You looked near death when I brought you here. It fair bro—well put it this way you look much better today and that does my heart good. Lizzie is beside herself with worry, but doing a grand job on the farm. I will fetch here for a visit soon Maggie.’

Maggie blinked her eyes as a greeting and acknowledgement of his words.

You dear man. Your beating heart saved me. How will I ever thank you?

He said no more and walked from the room. Maggie was lifted by his visit. He was another who had shown true friendship. A little of the ice around her heart melted away. Dukes held a special place in her life. He would never know how his compassion had helped.

‘I couldn’t hold him back any longer, Maggie. To be fair, he needed to set his own mind at rest and can take the news back to Windtop. Shame your husband hasn’t come to make amends. Mr Arlington and the constable gave him a good talking to. They have warned him he will be imprisoned if he touches you again. Mind, I think Mrs Arlington has a few ideas for your future, but I will let her speak about them. Now, are you up for one more visitor?’Alice smiled.

Maggie nodded. She was more than ready for this one.

While she waited for Nathaniel to be brought to her, she wondered over the meaning that Mrs Arlington had ideas about her future. Her future was to feed and leave when she was able. Her husband needed her on the farm. Her duty was to him, regardless of her feelings.

In a month, Nathaniel had grown so much. He lay upon a pillow that raised him to the same height as her breast. His head rested on her body and he suckled contentedly. She was able to curve her arm beside him, and the warmth of his body mingled with hers. The window had been closed and she could smell the rosemary and thyme used in his Pears soap. Mixed with the lavender of her bedding, Maggie inhaled the fragrance and locked it into her memory. On days when she could not see him, she would remember this moment. She would buy a bar of the soap for that very purpose.

***

A daily routine was established and Maggie grew stronger every day. During the ten days it took for her to walk upright again, her bruising had gone from black to a murky green shade. She had bruising from her brow to her shins. Her gait was unsteady but she could move unaided from the bed to the window.

Maggie noted the hoar frosts coating the trees with their crystal white ice. Christmas would be upon them soon. The cosy room was a blessing, but she craved for the outdoors. She longed to walk in her meadow, look down upon the river and to place flowers for her babies.

Alice and the doctor arrived on day eleven and informed her it was now time to remove the support around her jaw. It had been slackened gradually for her to eat soft foods, but today it would be removed for good.

‘A great improvement, Mrs Sawbury. Let me see you walk back to the chair. Wonderful. We will soon have you back to full fitness. Horrid affair, but you survived and for that we are eternally grateful.’ The doctor had a jolly nature and Maggie enjoyed his visits.

‘When this is removed, you will find it tender to eat at first, but it will improve. There now, all done.’ While he chattered on, the doctor cut away the strips of cloth.

Maggie felt the cloth slacken away. She touched her face. He was right; it was tender. She moved her lips apart, and ran her tongue across them. Slowly she opened her mouth a fraction.

‘Ouch. Hurts’. Her first words were out.

Gentle reassurances from the doctor that all was well were most welcome. He informed her with daily movement she will have no after affects from the break.

‘To see her beautiful smile again would be a treat doctor. Thank you. Madam said would you please knock on her drawing room door as you pass by. She would like a word with you. Goodbye.’

Maggie tried a small smile goodbye but had to be content with waving. Alice patted her hand.

‘All in good time, child, all in good time. Now another tea I think, and then you can rest. By the way, the squire enquired about you today. Quite the talk of the town you have become. It is my understanding that his lordship is to be engaged. Flora Tamworth is to be the lucky bride. Rather a catch that one and so is he, the most handsome squire we have had in these parts. What am I saying; his father is the only one I have known, aside from Stephen. It will be a glamorous affair, the wedding. Not that she is any great beauty. Money match that one, I guarantee.’ Alice had her back to Maggie, while she made the tea. Her constant chatter began to annoy Maggie. Alice could not see the tears that fell onto the counterpane, nor the white knuckles of her friend as she clenched her fists. It was the only way Maggie could stop herself from screaming out.

As she sipped her tea and stared across the room her thoughts went to Stephen. If only he would visit there was so much she wanted to say to him. She would take the risk of public humiliation, he was worth it, and she should never have walked away.

No. I do not love him. He is not worth my tears. Nathaniel’s arrival has confused me. How could I ever love a man who abused me? He is no better than Jacob. Remember Maggie. Remember.

Alice took her cup away and brought Nathaniel in for his next feed. Maggie held out her arms.

‘Hold ‘im.’ Her words were not formed but Alice heard her and handed her the baby.

‘While you feed him, I am going for some fresh air again. Will you be alright with him alone?’

‘Yes.’ Maggie was more than happy to be alone with him. He was the sunshine in her dark, her heartbeat.

She settled back in the chair and allowed the peace to wash over her. When he had finished feeding, Alice had not returned, so Maggie took her chance. She whispered in his ear. The pain in her jaw was minimal and her words came out stilted but she knew he would understand them. He was part of her and they communicated without words.

‘You are my son. My flesh and blood. I pulled you from my body. Another woman will be called mama, but I am your mother. I gave you life. One day we will have to part, but I will always be there for you, watching over you. I love you.’ She kissed his brow.

 His eyes looked into hers. The son knew his mother. In those few seconds the bonding process had taken place. No matter what happened from that day, even though separated, they would be together for one moment in time.

Alice returned and took him back to the nursery. Maggie lay on the bed, emotionally drained. The news of Stephen’s engagement had come as a surprise. It was one thing knowing he had lain in the arms of many women but she had never imagined him married to another. Life was a miserable friend. She curled her body into the curve of a newborn as best she could, and released the tears of sorrow. When there were no more tears, she gave into sleep. A partridge released its scratched, high pitched call in the distance, and she heard the hooves of a horse going through the town. Gradually the noises faded and memories took over.

Chapter 14

Thursday 20
^th
September 1865

‘We have to release the birds this week. Squire wants all we have this year. He has several shooting parties in November.’ Jacob addressed the back of Maggie’s head. ‘They’ve bred well this year. I had Mason make a new pen behind the old one.’

Without turning around Maggie replied. ‘That is good news. They will bring in a good income. Maybe you could invest some of the money in new equipment. Goodness knows we could do with some.’ She had a belligerent tone in her voice and knew she would suffer for it, but anytime the squire was mentioned, she thought back to her last meeting with Stephen. She had seen him on several occasions passing through town, but they never acknowledged each other. On the few occasions when they found themselves alone he had flirted openly with words. Maggie had never responded and kept what dignity she could. It took enormous effort to walk away. She could not risk her feelings for him.

‘We need more livestock, not machinery. Keep your mouth tight about things you do not understand. Now, I have asked Mason and James to take the birds. I am going into town to negotiate a price for pigs, and we could do with a few more milkers.’

Maggie remained silent. It was the safest option.

‘Word has it that Sully has a pair of large lop eared swine. We’ve not had them before. I hear they are docile beasts. Good all round is my understanding. Quite fancy a pair. By the way, Meg’s litter is on the move now. The runt is no good. Blind in one eye, I fancy. I was going to shoot him but he might be of use here, to ward off the fox from the pens. The other two are prime specimens. If they shepherd like their mother, we will be lucky. Good girl, my Meg.’

Maggie nodded. She was used to removing runt animals. The majority died within hours of her feeding them. When the lambs made it through it was only until spring then they were slaughtered. It never paid to get to close when you they were going to be your Easter feast, but she still shed a tear.

One of Maggie’s pleasures was a day without Jacob on the farm, and watching newborns nuzzle around their mother and she could not wait for him to leave.

Jacob left his instructions for the men. She wondered why he bothered. Every year it was the same routine. He avoided extra work, and delegated to those around him. The privilege of being the boss. Many farmers around their farm pulled their weight, and they also had more respect for their staff. The workers they had left were her friends, and they stayed because of her. Those not so worried, went and worked for other farmers after a few months.

‘I will ensure they carry out their tasks, husband. Do not fret. I will take Meg a few extra scraps. She will need them. I hope you get a bargain with old Sully.’

‘Don’t stand around gossiping. Get and take that runt away. Meg can’t afford to waste good feed on a runt.’ Jacob snarled back. ‘I’ll expect my supper fresh on my return.’

‘As always, husband. As always. Goodbye.’ Maggie bit back. His meals were always fresh and she objected to his insinuation that he was served otherwise. She stomped to the barn. He had set her hackles for the day and she was annoyed with herself for allowing him to ruin her mood.

Her heart softened when she saw the pups. In the corner of a stall lay the blind dog. Meg’s tail thumped when she saw Maggie and she was rewarded with a ruffled ear. Her thriving pair leapt and jumped, yapping at her ankles.

‘You clever girl, well done. This little one is not going to make it as a herder. He’s coming with me, let me take him and I will do my best.’ Maggie lifted the pup and wrapped him in sackcloth and placed him in her basket.

She left the barn and returned to the farmhouse. To her surprise, Stephen was sitting on his horse in the yard. He looked magnificent, so elegant. Maggie took a moment to capture the image. She tried to keep an even tone to her voice. It came out clipped and cold.

‘A pleasure to see you, sir. Are you here about the partridge release?’

She watched as he swung down from his mount. Even through his riding jacket, she could see his arm muscles swell. All thoughts of anger against him from his alibi offer vanished with that one movement. If she was hostile and unfriendly, she would never see him again.

‘Maggie.’ He strode towards her. Frantically she looked around, not wanting anyone to hear him say her name.

‘Mr Avenell, please leave. If you are here for no other reason than to see me, please go. We cannot move forward. I am a married woman and you are the squire’s son. What do you want with me?’

‘Invite me inside and I will tell you.’ Stephen moved towards the door. He opened it and Maggie stepped inside.