Magick Rising (59 page)

“But I have no control after I change. What if I use you as a chew toy

and you bleed out before morning?” He shook his head. “Unacceptable.”

Now that he’d finally agreed, there was no way she was going to let him

weasel his way out. “Is there a way to fend you off? Like, more silver?”

He nodded slowly. “Maybe. I have some more bars for the cage in my

truck, in case any get damaged. You might be able to fend the wolf off with

that.”

“Will I change right away?”

“I’m not sure.” He paused for a moment, his brow furrowed in

thought. “I don’t think so. I think you’ll change the following month, since

this is the third night of the full moon.”

“Maybe not,” Beth said. “Remember that first night, when you told me

how you were turned?” At his nod, she added, “I relived that night along

with you. According to that memory, you lost consciousness after she bit

you. Are you sure you didn’t turn then?”

He frowned. “No, I’m not sure. And I didn’t stick around long enough

to learn the ins and outs of the change. All I know is that when I came to the

next morning, Marta was leaning over me, fully human, and I was healed.”

“So, it’s possible you changed that same night.”

“Yes, I guess so. If that’s true, it creates more of a problem.”

“How so?”

“If you turn, you need to be inside the cage to ensure you won’t harm

anyone else.”

“Okay, no problem.” She could live with that.

“The hell it’s not. I’ll be inside, too, and will probably kill you before the

change can even happen.”

Oh. Her mind worked furiously. “So, you change inside the cage, and

I’ll change outside. I’ll just make sure the garage is locked tight.”

He scowled. “I’m not sure the doors will hold up against a maddened

wolf desperate to get out.” When she looked doubtful, he added, “And trust

me, you will be maddened.”

Beth shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense. Marta and the others

didn’t kill you when they turned you, did they? They must have had some

control.”

“Maybe. And maybe they left me for dead, not realizing I was still

alive.” He shook his head.

Knowing where his mind must have gone, Beth squeezed his hand. “I

can’t believe you’re going to die tonight. I was in Lupa’s head. I know she

thought the alternative was much better.”

“Of course she would. But it would leave me as a wolf, permanently.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes, she’s been telling me in my dreams for weeks now, showing me a

choice. Either become a wolf and live like an animal with other wolves or

die.”

“What do you mean, live with other wolves?”

“She showed me a life in which I’m alpha of a wolf pack, making more

wolves, hunting game in the mountains, living like an animal.”

“And you think that’s worse than being dead?” she asked incredulously.

“Living without conscience, without humanity, killing indiscriminately

without being able to control my own nature? Yes, I’d rather die.”

“I thought you didn’t remember your time as a wolf.”

“I don’t.”

“But, in the dream, you do?” At his curt nod, she added, “And in the

dream, you’re happy as a wolf?”

“Yes, but it’s just a dream. Just Lupa trying to convince me to change

forever.”

“What if it’s not? What if it means you’ll have everything you want?

Lupa said you’d achieve your heart’s desire if you embrace what it means to

be alpha.”

He sighed heavily, but before he could refute her argument, she asked,

“What does being alpha mean?”

“Blood lust, pain, uncontrollable urges,” Duncan bit out.

“No, what does it mean to Lupa?” When he looked at her in

puzzlement, she added, “Lupa is the one who wants you to be full alpha, so

the real question is, what does it mean to Her?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. She showed you in your dream. It means being the head

of a pack, taking care of a family, providing for them.”

Yes . . .
came the hissing whisper.

In jubilation, Beth asked, “Did you hear that?” At his reluctant nod, she

added, “See? And I bet the dream didn’t mean you’d stay a wolf

forever—just that it’s possible to be both.”

He shook his head. “Can it really be that simple?” He cocked his head,

as if waiting for Lupa to respond. When the goddess remained silent, he said

slowly, “So, to embrace being an alpha, I have to accept the change?”

“I think so,” Beth said, realization dawning. “Think about it. When you

change back from a wolf to a man, it’s effortless, because you’re not fighting

it. What if you don’t fight the transformation to being a wolf? Maybe you

won’t hurt so much.”

He shrugged. “Or maybe it means I’ll stay a wolf forever.”

“But being an alpha also means you have to have a pack,” Beth

declared. “You already treat me like something to be cherished—a member

of your human pack, so you’ve started with me.”

“
Started
with you? You think I’d do this to anyone else?”

“Why not? What if there are other people like me? People who would

rather wolf out three times a month than die?”

“You’re getting way ahead of yourself.”

“Yeah, I guess. But it makes more sense that Lupa would want you to

create a pack, doesn’t it? So she can have more werewolves to rule?”

Give in . . .
Lupa whispered seductively.
Be mine . . .

Obviously, he heard that, too. Duncan shook his head. “You notice she

didn’t promise anything in return. What if I give in, become wolf . . . and

never change back?”

She didn’t believe that would happen, but said, “I’ll take care of you.”

He snorted. “Oh yeah, that’ll be fun for both of us, with me in a cage

the rest of my life.”

“I don’t think it will have to be that way,” she protested. “Besides, isn’t

it worth the risk?”

“For you, maybe. Not for me.”

She sighed heavily. “Look, I know you’re uncertain, but I’m not. Lupa

said there was a way. This is it. It has to be—I’m certain of it. If you can’t

trust her, at least trust me.” She stared at him, pleading silently for him to see

how right she was.

He shook his head. “I’ll think about it.”

AND THINK ABOUT it, he did, for the rest of the day as he wrote

farewells to those he cared about and made final arrangements to take care

of his few belongings, just in case. All too soon, the day was over, and night

threatened, along with his decision.

After they ate dinner and did the dishes, Duncan said, “It’s getting close

to sunset. We’d better go.”

She nodded and followed him out to the cold garage, securing the

doors as best she could. Paranoia made him recheck the security of his cage

every night, and tonight he welcomed the distraction. As he unnecessarily

tightened a few bolts, Beth rummaged around in an old tool chest.

He’d promised to turn her tonight but still was uncertain this was the

right thing to do. Beth would soon undergo the terror he had tried to save

her from. And no matter how much he told her what to expect, it would still

be terrifying, demeaning.

Entering the cage, he said, “Beth . . .”

Evidently sensing Duncan’s pain, Beth followed him into the cage and

hugged him tight. “It’s all right. I asked for it. I want this.”

Like that made it better.

A chill, mocking whisper blew through his mind.
Fool . . .

Yeah, that was the general consensus, no matter what decision he made.

He kissed her, hating the thought that this might be the last time he

could hold her, love her. Sighing, he rested his forehead against hers. “You’d

better go,” he said. The change was coming soon, he could feel it.

He released her and looked around for the lock.

Beth picked up the padlock where he had left it and took it to the door

of the cage. “Here, I’ll help you.”

But instead of locking herself out, she locked herself in—with him.

“Are you crazy?” he demanded and went over to take the lock off. But it

looked different. “This isn’t my lock,” he said accusingly. It took a key, not a

combination. Beth backed away with a wary look, and he speared her with a

glance. “Where’s the key?”

“In the toolbox, where I found the lock.”

“
What?
You just locked yourself in with a werewolf? How the hell are

you going to get out?”

“We both will, tomorrow morning, when Ian gets my email and comes

to release us.”

Shit, shit, shit.
“We’re both going to die.” And his brother would be left

to clean up the carnage. Duncan rested his head against the bars then

wrenched at the lock, willing the door to open. No such luck.

Beth clutched his arm. “I don’t believe you’d hurt a member of your

pack,” she said. “I trust you not to harm me. Can’t you trust me to know this

is right?”

Duncan closed his eyes against the pain in his heart. He didn’t believe in

Lupa’s mythical vision of a wolf pack playing merrily in the woods, but he

did know that if he didn’t give in, he’d die, and so might Beth. The only

chance for her to live, even for a short time, was to make her a werewolf.

And for that, he needed to keep as many of his senses as possible. He had to

trust her.

As he felt the familiar twisting agony of the change, he begged silently,

Lupa, help me.

Surrender yourself to Me.

In fear for Beth’s life, Duncan surrendered. An omnipresent force filled

him, showing him the way. He embraced the wolf within him, welcoming

the change. It flowed over him in a red shimmering haze, making him tingle

with suppressed energy. One moment he was a man, and the next, he had

painlessly transformed into a powerful wolf.

Suddenly, the world was black and white and focused oddly, but his

hearing and smell had heightened. He gloried in the feeling for a moment,

exulting that he still had the ability to think, to reason as a man.

And there, standing next to him, was his mate in human form.

“Duncan?” Beth said with joy. “I knew it. Are you there? Can you

understand me?”

Indeed he was. He nodded.

You know what to do . . .
Lupa whispered.

Yes. Remembering his promise, he gently took Beth’s bare wrist in his

jaws and looked up at her, asking permission. Was she certain she still

wanted this?

She nodded, and he bit down until he tasted blood.

Beth winced, and he backed away, watching for the change. Would it

happen tonight or in a month’s time?

Her face twisted in agony, but unlike him, she had no problem giving

in. After all, it was everything she wanted. A red, shimmering haze

enveloped her, and a tawny wolf stood before him.

Yipping in excitement, she ran over to bowl him over playfully. He hit

the silver bars and yelped, and she nuzzled him in apology. This cage was

too small for those kind of antics.

He nuzzled her in return and curled around her then settled down to

wait out the night. What would happen with the dawn? Would he be a wolf

forever, turn back into a man . . . or would he be dead?

DAWN ROSE, and Beth felt a lurching sensation that was her body

changing from a wolf back into a human. It had worked! Joyfully, she

glanced over at Duncan. He was human again, too, lying with his back

toward her. Was he . . . ?

She reached out to touch him tentatively, and he stirred. He was alive!

Grinning like an idiot, she threw herself into his arms. “It worked,

Duncan. It worked!”

“So I see,” he said in amusement. “Now we just have to wait for my

brother to come rescue us.”

“He’s not coming,” Beth admitted. “I didn’t really contact him.”

“What?” Duncan sat up abruptly, dumping her out of his lap. “How are

we going to get out of here?”

“With the key.” She reached into her bra and pulled out the small bit of

metal she’d hidden there.

Duncan weighed it in his hand. “So you had an out all along? You didn’t

really trust me?”

“Of course I trusted you. I didn’t plan on using it until morning. I just

didn’t want your brother to have to play errand boy for us.”

He grinned. “Or cleanup.”

She grimaced. “Yeah, that, too. But, look!” She threw her arms around

him. “It worked! I’m healed. My wound is gone, and I can almost feel the

power surging through my body, cleansing it, killing the damn

Huntington’s.”

He stared down at her, smiling at her obvious joy. “I’m glad to hear it.”

She turned serious. “Thank you, Duncan, for giving me exactly what I

wanted. I know Lupa promised you your heart’s desire, too, and you wanted

a cure, but does this count?”

“Not quite.”

“Then what was it you wanted?”

He smiled. “A wife, a family. I guess you could say I wanted a real

pack.”

She cocked her head. “Have anyone in mind?”

He laughed. “Who else? You’re the only one I want, Beth.”

She smiled up into his eyes. “I love you, Duncan. So, you’ll stay?”

With a smothered “Yes,” he crushed her to his chest and kissed her

senseless. “I love you too,” he whispered. “Marry me?”