Authors: Mercedes Lackey
Tags: #Fantasy, #Epic, #General, #Fiction, #Fantasy - General, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Magic, #Fiction - Fantasy, #Fantasy fiction
“
Easy, lad,
”
Savil cautioned, her face clouded and troubled.
He grimaced.
“
Did it again. Sorry. I won't break. I'm not sure I
can
break. The fact is, I still look all right, and I really
don't
want Randi to guess how drained out I am. If he knows, he'll feel guilty, and there's nothing he can do. He
has
to do what he does to me. So -
“
Vanyel shrugged.
“
The strain doesn't show; it won't take long to put right. I'm as much to blame for the overload as Randi. I
could
say 'no' - but I never have the heart to.
”
“
Maybe you should choose somewhere to go besides Forst Reach. Or only stay there for a day or two, then go off visiting friends, or by yourself.
”
“
I don't want to go off somewhere alone, I'll just brood. And I haven't anyone to go
to;
k'Treva is too far away. You, at least, have had Andy for longer than I've known you.
”
He sighed.
“
I'm sorry, I'm whining again. I can't seem to help it, which might be a symptom of how on edge I am.
That
is the only thing that really worries me; I'm hair - triggered and dangerous, and I need some peace to get balanced again. All I can hope is that Mother and Father decide that I look as bad as you and Jays think, and leave me alone for a bit. Long enough to get some reserves back, anyway.
”
It was the closest he'd come to admitting that he wasn't really certain how much - or how little - reserves he still had, and he quelled the rest of what he almost said.
“
You don't look good, even
they
should see that,
ke'chara.''
She toyed with a bit of his hair, and worried at her lower lip with her teeth.
“
You know,
I
haven't been back in - ye gods, not since I checked you all for Mage-Gift!
My
Familial Visitation is more than overdue.
”
“
But - you're a Guardian -
“
Hope rose in him. If only Savil would be there, he'd have
one
kindred soul in the lions' den! He had no doubt she was more than up to the trip; he could feel
her
strength even as he leaned on it.
“
Won't take me but a day to set my focus in the Web and then I can Guard from Forst Reach as easily as from here. It's only a matter of Sensing threat and sending the alert, you know. It's not as if I actually had to
fight
anything. And it's only because I need to keep that little corner of my mind tuned to the Web waking and sleeping that I don't have a protégé - ten years ago I could have done what Jays is doing; Guard
and
teach three.
”
She nodded.
“
This is
no
bad notion. Provided you don't mind having me there-
”
“Mind?”
He seized her hand and kissed it.
“
Then expect me in about - oh, two weeks after you arrive. It'll take Kellan a little longer to make the trip than you youngsters.
”
“
Savil, if you only knew how grateful I am -
“
“
Pish. I'm selfish, is what I am.
”
A smile started to twitch at the corners of her mouth.
“
We can guard
each other's
backs this way. I'm counting on you to save me from Withen as much as you are counting on me to save you.
”
He rose and kissed her forehead.
“
I don't care what you say, it's the most generous,
unselfish
thing anyone's done for me in a year. And you just may save this visit from becoming the legend of how Herald Vanyel went berserk and left his entire family tied to trees with rags stuffed in their mouths! About what time is it? I'm all turned round about from being so far south.
”
She checked the angle of the sun coming in her window.
“
I'd guess just after Court.
”
“
Good; I have to catch Randale and Shavri and say
good-bye.
He
promised if I didn't come when he was being 'official' he wouldn't find something for me to do.
”
“
Then off with you,
ke'chara,
and I'll see you at Forst Reach-and thank you for thinking of me,
”
she finished, touching the stone on the table beside her.
“Because you think of me, love.'' He kissed her cheek, then her forehead again, and left her suite.
He stopped first at his room to change back into a set of Tran's Whites and put on the soft, low boots Heralds wore indoors; not as comfortable as going barefoot, but they beat the riding boots hands down. And if he didn't change, he
might
not be let into the King's quarters - every time he came back, it seemed fewer folk knew his face.
That accomplished, and now every inch his usual neat self, he headed down to the oldest part of the Palace, the extensive set of rooms shared by King Randale; his lifebonded and King's Own, Shavri; and their daughter.
He had scarcely crossed the threshold of the sparsely furnished audience chamber-his unfamiliar face giving a moment's apprehension to the two Guards posted at the door-when a six-year-old, curly-headed, miniature whirlwind burst through the farther door and flung herself across the audience chamber at him, evidently blithely certain he would catch her before she fell.
Which he did, and swung her around, up and over his head while she squealed with excitement and delight.
“
Uncle Van!
”
she crowed at the top of her lungs.
“
UncleVanUncleVanUncleVan!
”
He started to put her down, but she demanded a hug and a kiss with the same infectious charm her
“
father
”
Randale could display whenever he chose. Vanyel hoisted her into a comfortable carrying position and complied without an argument, thinking as he did so that it was a good thing that she was still so tiny.
“
Now how did you know I was coming?
”
he asked her, as her bright brown eyes looked solemnly down into his.
“
Felt you,
”
she said, giving him another hug.
“
Felt you in my head, all blue - glowy and swirly.
”
He nearly dropped her in shock. That was surely the most vivid-and accurate-description of his aura he'd ever heard out of anyone but another high - ranking Herald-Mage.
“
Or a Healer,
”
said Shavri, coming up beside him as he gaped at the child, and Jisa giggled at the face he was making.
“
Healers see you that way, too, Van. And no, I wasn't eavesdropping on your thoughts-they were plain enough from that poleaxed look on your face.
”
There was strain and fear under Shavri's light tone, as if she walked a narrow bridge above a bottomless chasm. “Besides, you aren't the only one she's 'felt in her head' during the last three months. Let's start this greeting over; hello, Van, have you a hug for me?
”
“
Always.
”
He was already bracing himself for trouble; with
that
look on her face there was something seriously wrong. And that meant
he'd
have to be the strong one.
He included Shavri in his arms, while Jisa flung her arms around both their necks and cuddled.
“
Jisa sweet, can I put you down long enough for presents?''
“
Presents?
”
Jisa was no different from any other six-year-old when
that
word came up. She squirmed a little, and he set her down, then extracted the little Companion-figure from his pouch and handed it to her. She shrieked with delight, and ran outside to show it to the two Guards. Shavri watched her go, her gypsy-dark eyes darker with unconcealed love - and something else. Something secret and profoundly unhappy. His first reaction was to want to hold her, protect her, make that unhappiness go away.
Randi's lifebonded -
“
That's quite a little impling you're raising, Shavri,
”
he said, instead.
“
Incredibly unspoiled, given that I'd lay odds she's the pet of the Circle.
”
“
You say that every time you see her, beast,
”
she replied, flashing an uncertain smile, startlingly bright in her sober, dark face.
“
Well, it's true.
”
Vanyel Looked quickly around, ascertained that they were going to be alone for a few moments, and asked quickly,
“
How is he?
”
The smile vanished, and the fear and unhappiness were plain for anyone who knew her to read.
:Oh, gods
-
Van, he's sick, I can't make it go away, and I think he's dying. And I don't know why. :
:What?:
He gathered his scant resources to support her-and to hide the fact that
her
fear was making
him
tremble inside.
“
He's well enough,
”
she said lightly, but Mindspoke him with a vastly different tone. :
There's something wrong; it isn't affecting him much at the moment other than steady weakness and a dizzy spell now and again
–
but it keeps getting worse with each spell. And - oh, Van
-
I'm so afraid
- :
He tightened his arm around her shoulders.
:Easy, flowerlet - : “
Then it sounds like there's no problem with my taking this leave.
”
:How long has this been going on?:
Her unshed tears knotted both their throats. :
Eight months. It's something I can't Heal, the gods know I've tried!:
He felt chill creep over him.
:Forgive me, Shavri, but I have to ask this. Given worst case
-
if it
is
something life-threatening, and it keeps getting worse, how long do you think he has ?:
:If he keeps weakening at the same rate? Fifteen years
-
maybe less, certainly not more. Gods, Van, he won't even see
fifty -
he won't even see his grandchildren! Elspeth was seventy-six when she was Called!:
There was another thought, unspoken-but Vanyel felt it, since it touched so nearly on his own private loneliness.
I
'
II
have to go on alone
-
He held her close to his chest, with her face pressed into his shoulder as she struggled not to cry, and clamped down a tight shield to prevent any stray thought from reaching her and frightening her. Savil
supported you. You support Shavri the same way,
he told himself, below the threshold of her ability to Mindhear.
Let her know she won't be alone. Gods, gods, they're both so young, not even twenty-five . . . and so sheltered all their lives. Oh, Shavri
-
your pain hurts me
-
“
Easy, love,
”
he murmured into her hair.
:Does he know ?:
:No. Not yet. Healer's Collegium does; they’re working on it. We don't want him to know until it's certain. Now you know why I won't marry him. Van, I couldn't, I'm not strong enough, I can't rule! Not alone! And when he dies
-
and I won't have Jisa forced onto the throne too young, either.:
Her mind-voice strengthened with stubbornness.
:So long as we're unwedded, it can't be forced on me nor on Jisa until all the collateral lines are exhausted. I - :
He felt the surge of terror and grief, and tried to project strength to her, not allowing her to see how fragile that strength was at the moment. With grim certainty he knew that she would not be able to cope if the worst came - unless someone she trusted was there to help. And the only one she trusted to that extent - the only one Randi trusted - was him.
Gods. They really think I can do anything - and I'm no more ready for this than she is.
He pushed the thought away, concentrated on trying to ease some of that fear.
. - Gently, sweet. Don't borrow trouble. Don't assume anything. You may cure him yet; this may turn out to be something ridiculous
-
and you both may get run over by a beer-wagon tomorrow!:
That startled a weak chuckle out of her, and she blinked up at him through tears she was doing her best not to release.
:Worry about tomorrow when it comes; enjoy
now.
Now, what's all this with Jisa “feeling people in her head?”:
Footsteps made both of them look up.
“
Are you seducing my lady, Herald Vanyel?
”
asked Randale, King of Valdemar, holding out his arms to embrace both of them.
“
I'd
rather
seduce you, you charmer,
”
Vanyel replied coyly, batting his eyelashes at the King. But there was an edge of bitterness there in his banter, and despite his best intentions it must have crept into his voice. He saw a hint of startlement, then of worry, creep into both their expressions.