Authors: Amy Blakelear
She had never meant for it to happen, but over the weeks Jared had taken a place in her heart. She looked forward to seeing his face every morning. Her stomach fizzed and flipped in the mornings as she stoked the fire and made the coffee, waiting for him to appear. When he bounded down the stairs with his thick black hair free of his hat, his green eyes twinkling, he made her heart leap. Took her breath away.
To Ellie it felt like a thread of connection between them. She had tried to ignore the feeling because she knew Jared did not feel the same way, but it had been difficult for her. Jared would seek her out just to make her laugh as if it gave him pleasure to see her smile. Ellie would expect him to come and find her. She looked forward to it, thriving on their times together.
Yesterday when the beautiful Anne had appeared, all set up and willing to be Jared’s bride, Ellie’s hopes had been dashed. In an instant, she knew she was no match for Anne. In looks, in strength, in social standing, everything.
Ellie sighed at herself. Why had she had a dizzy spell in front of visitors? Couldn’t it have waited? When she had broken the jug in front of them, she had felt like a stupid, poor girl who was to be pitied.
I am a thin, sickly, drawn, pale looking girl. How could he ever be interested in me?
Ellie saw clearly now that when Jared was kind to her, it was only to make her feel welcome and to make her laugh. He was the kindest, funniest man, but he was that way with everyone. Not just her. He would laugh with everyone - with Grammy, Michael and David, Eric and Fairy. He had even got Harriet laughing during her visit yesterday. He was that sort of man. He always had a big smile and a friendly word to offer.
Ellie berated herself for having been out of line. Without meaning to, she had let her thoughts turn to longing for him. Even though she knew the feeling was not reciprocated.
At least she could comfort herself that no one was the wiser for it. She had not made a fool of herself, except in her own mind. She had not put Jared into an uncomfortable position, thank God. She could stop these silly imaginings now. Put an end to the whole affair once and for all.
On the other hand, Ellie had seen that Jared had not been especially enthusiastic about Harriet’s suggestion. He had been polite to Harriet all right. But he hadn’t jumped at the chance to marry Anne. Far from it. And although he had admitted that Anne was a fair woman, in fact he had hardly looked at her.
Or not that Ellie had noticed. Maybe he had been looking at her surreptitiously and liked what he saw.
Ellie did not know what was going on in Jared’s head, and she reminded herself that it was none of her business. She shouldn’t waste time thinking about it. It had to be over now, this romance in her head. Finished. This love affair that had never started.
Ellie made her way downstairs and silently got the fire going. She made some coffee for herself and started work sweeping the floor in the predawn darkness, lit up by a kerosene lamp.
After she had finished the floor she would polish all the cutlery, then she would make breakfast. After serving breakfast she planned to work all day on laundry. Laundry was tough sweaty work that took every ounce of her energy. That was exactly why she wanted to do it today. Anything to distract herself. The harder the work, the better, as far as Ellie was concerned.
Tomorrow would be the last day of her trial, the day that she and Jared would discuss if she had a future here. She knew that if Jared married Anne, they would not want her around. There would be no need for a housekeeper if there was a wife in the house.
Ellie needed to give herself some kind of hope to hold onto so she could keep her spirits up. Jared hadn’t seemed to want to marry Anne, and Ellie hoped that the marriage would not take place so she could stay on as housekeeper. Ellie reasoned to herself that she was not being selfish but that she simply wanted Jared to achieve his goal of not marrying yet. After all, he had appeared reluctant yesterday.
Ellie hoped against hope that if she worked hard enough, God willing she would earn a place here as a long-term housekeeper.
If she could just stay and continue to serve Jared and Grammy, then she would be satisfied. No - she would be overjoyed. She felt angry at herself for ever having wished for something more from Jared. It was an insult to Jared to think of him as anything other than her employer.
If she had to go and look for work elsewhere, she knew she could never find such a perfect spot as this in the whole of America. This house felt like her home already. These people had accepted her in a way that had touched her heart and made her feel whole again. She had to stay here. She
was
going to stay here. And the way it was going to happen was by her working harder than she had ever worked in her life.
I have no looks or charm, but what I do have is my bare hands and my force of will.
Ellie heard the noise of Grammy’s door opening up on the top floor, and the skittering of claws on wood as the puppies came careering down the winding stairs. Four pups arrived, racing each other down, followed by Grammy stiffly hobbling.
“Grammy, I will bring your coffee and breakfast up right away, don’t trouble yourself.”
“It’s all right my pet, good for my morning bones to get a bit of a stretch. Wanted to know if you’ve seen Pip, the puppy?”
“No, shall I look for him?”
“It’s all right, Jared probably has him. I will ask him when he comes down. He’s sleeping a little later today.”
Grammy sat down and accepted a mug of coffee from Ellie. As she drank her coffee, she watched Ellie clearing up the pots in the sink. Worry creased Grammy’s forehead and she spoke up.
“How are you feeling, pet? Don’t work yourself too hard, I really don’t know when you sleep.”
Ellie turned from the sink and flashed a grateful smile at her. “You mustn’t worry about me, I’m having the time of my life being here, you know that.”
Grammy’s face brightened up. “Now, Ellie dear, tonight you must have some time for fun and play. Remember I told you it’s the annual spring dance in town this evening? I insist, you are to go and enjoy yourself. I have adjusted a dress for you, and I promise you I will sulk for weeks if you do not go.”
“Oh - I had forgotten.”
“It’s the dance of the season, people are traveling from all around to come. They have a band coming from San Francisco to entertain everyone. There’ll be fiddles and singing and all. I would go myself, but my leg’s been acting up recently.”
“If you wish me to go, I will go, Grammy.”
“… and have a wonderful time whirling around dancing, so you will. We will have an early tea at 3 o’clock then you are to come up to my room and I will fit you into your dress. Such a beauty you’ll be, with your curves all rounded out now you are eating properly.”
Ellie grimaced a little, but she was looking forward to it. Surely a good dance would burn off her extra energy and let her get some sleep tonight.
Chapter 28
Jared was suspended in mid-air, drifting on a golden pillow of warm light. He was high above the ground but he didn’t feel afraid. He could see the prairie spread out below him stretching out for miles, the gentle rolling hills fading into the distance. The pale blue sky stretched up above, wreathed in strands of mist. Little pillow-like clouds bobbed around him, touched with pink at their edges.
From his floating pillow Jared could see the sun slowly rising in the east. It looked different from this angle somehow. He was looking down on it, and it looked like a glass ball of churning fire with pink and yellow flames licking up. As the sun rose inch by inch, Jared’s pillow lightly floated along in the sky, moving higher and higher. He had no cares, only a delectable feeling of melting into his pillow of light. His entire body felt warm and comfortable as he gazed languidly at the view.
Jared looked up into the infinite sky above him. A vision of dazzling white light and feathered wings appeared. It was a winged creature, coming toward him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The ethereal being was so bright he could not look for long without hurting his eyes. He shut his lids, still sensing its presence.
The silky feathers of a wing brushed against his face. He felt the warmth of the creature close to him, and a pair of lips pressed to his cheek in a kiss. He felt fingers trail over his forehead and delicately rake through his hair. He opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of the beauty of the creature before it flitted away. He was carried away by such a sweet feeling …
“Yip-yip! Grr … yip-yip!”
Having tested out Jared’s face by licking it, the little gray pup had pounced onto Jared’s thick black hair. His hair was flowing onto the plump feathery pillow and it was too tempting for a small pup to leave alone. Plunging its little paws in, the pup growled and dug for all it was worth, as if a baby rabbit might be hidden in there.
Jared opened his eyes, smiled and lazily lifted both arms behind his head to extract the puppy. Claws pulled at his hair as he lifted the animal out gently.
“Morning, Pip. So you think it’s time for me to be up, do you, you tiresome tumbleweed? All fluff and claws you are.”
Jared cradled Pip onto his chest and turned his head toward the window. He hadn’t pulled the curtains shut the night before and he could see right out onto the prairie with the wide sky overhead. The yellow rising sun shone brightly on his bed, hot and comforting. Jared checked the pocket watch he had laid on the side table the night before. He had slept a whole hour later than his usual time to rise. Couldn’t remember the last time he had done that. What a dream, too, he never dreamed such fanciful dreams.
An angel? Am I turning soft?
Jared smiled and let his head lie back on the pillow for a moment, the sun full on his face as he shut his eyes. As the dream slowly faded from his consciousness he enjoyed the last remnants of it. He soaked up the sun for one more minute then he sprung out of bed holding Pip. He placed the puppy down carefully on the floor beside Eric and Fairy.
Time to get moving on the ranch. He had a lot to do today and he had to fit it all into a small work day. There was a dance this evening in town, the seasonal spring dance. He liked to have a jig with the music as much as the next man, but today he didn’t want to go. Too much work to do. The problem was, he couldn’t get out of the dance now. Cousin Harriet and Anne had sent a messenger yesterday announcing their intentions to attend with him, requesting that he escort them.
All part of the plan to see him a whole lot more.
Jared growled as he bounded down the stairs. He had too much to think about on the ranch to be bothered with going to dances. Still he had no choice. After tea he would drive into town, pick up the pair of them, and they would attend the dance together.
He would enjoy the dance once he got there, though Jared wondered how much the two ladies were going to enjoy it. Harriet and Anne wanted the best of everything, and they were used to cultured company back where they lived.
Things were pretty simple out here. All the men would wear casual cowboy clothing to the dance. They would make sure their clothes were clean, out of respect for the ladies, but there would be no dress suits or fancy conversation.
Jared grabbed a cup of the delicious coffee Ellie had made and polished off the warm breakfast she had left for him. Mashed up beans with beef sausages, cornbread and fried potato cakes. He was down later than usual today so Ellie and Grammy had already eaten and were working somewhere in the house.
Grammy had said that Ellie would be going to the dance too but that Joe Allen, Joe’s wife and their friends would be picking Ellie up around four and accompanying her there. Joe Allen was the grandson of Grandpa Allen, the old boy that Grammy played cards with. They were respectable folks, the Allens.
Ellie will be safe, going along with the Allens. One less thing for me to think about.
Jared rode his horse Jessie hard on the ranch, coordinating Michael and David’s efforts to get the cattle rounded up. They would be riding out to the boundaries of the land today, going as far as they could in the time they had. Jared pushed himself and took every opportunity he could to ride faster, herd better, and shout back and forth with his men. Anything to crowd out the little thought that kept knocking on his forehead asking for attention.
That dream he’d had this morning. The beautiful creature who had bestowed a warm kiss on his cheek. He had glimpsed her face … and she looked just like Ellie.
Chapter 29
Jared rode back to the house sweaty after having being out in the fields all morning long and half the afternoon. He had missed midday dinner and had worked right through, so he gratefully devoured the food left for him. He had just enough time to get cleaned up, get his clean clothes on, and go to pick up the two ladies in town. Jared idly wondered where Ellie was. He hadn’t even spoken to her since Harriet and Anne had visited. In truth, he was feeling the lack of her sunny face.
Jared hopped up the stairs three at a time. No time to waste. He quickly stripped off his clothes and drenched himself in cold water, getting a jolt of energy from the cold temperature.
Rubbing himself down with a rough towel, he pulled on a newly starched white shirt and his dress tie. Wasn’t often he’d wear a tie, this was just about the only chance he got. He put on some clean buckskin pants and his topstitched leather dress boots. Then he knotted a freshly ironed red and white neckerchief around his neck. His dogs watched him as he made his ablutions.