Major Karnage (9 page)

And what about the others?
Karnage twinged with a pang of guilt.
Velasquez. Cookie. Koch. Heckler. They all needed him, too. He’d
wasted too much time already. No telling what those aliens were
doing to them.

Karnage had plenty of time to observe his captors as they led
him into the bowels of the building. Tiny and Chuckles were fools.
All brawn and no brains. Karnage suspected they’d made their
careers putting on the tough guy act without ever having to play the
part. They relied on their size to do all their work for them. It was
probably why Sydney was able to exert such exacting control over
them. Her existence defied their sense of logic. How could anything
that small be that strong? When the time came, they’d be no threat
to Karnage. They’d go down easy.

Sydney was another matter. Her movements were incredibly
precise. Not a motion wasted. He’d have to be careful. If he hadn’t
been a single Sanity Level away from blowing his head off, he could
have used Chuckles and Tiny as a diversion to get clear of Sydney.
But for now he was helpless.

Karnage fumed. How long did it take him to downgrade a Sanity
Level? He hadn’t a clue. He cursed himself for not paying closer
attention.
You’re gettin’ sloppy, you old fool. You can’t keep going off halfcocked like this! Your troopers are counting on you. Cookie, Velasquez,
Heckler, Koch. And now Stumpton, too. What the hell happened to your
military discipline?

“We’re here.”

The corridor they stood in was poorly lit. A single fluorescent
bulb clung to a flickering half-life in the middle of the hall. At the
far end, Karnage could make out a battered wooden door locked
with a heavy padlock. Sydney fished a key from the duffel bag
and unlocked the padlock. She opened the door, one hand on the
doorknob and one hand holding her pistol level with Karnage. She
motioned with her pistol.

“After you,” she said.

“You’re too kind.” Karnage walked into the darkness, conscious
of Sydney’s pistol pointing at his mid-section.

The door closed behind Karnage with a loud thunk. The world
went black for a second. There was the flick of a light switch, and
an incandescent light bulb popped to life above Karnage’s head. The
sickly yellow glow reflected off the cracked cinder block walls and
rusting furnace in the corner. The air was thick with the smell of
dust and mould.

“Cozy,” Karnage said.

“Used to be called the hospitality suite,” Sydney dropped the
duffel bag by the door and rolled up her sleeves. “Used to bring
suspects down here when they needed a little extra encouragement
to confess.”

“Aggressive interrogation,” Karnage said.

“You’re familiar with the technique?”

“A little too familiar,” Karnage said.

Sydney pulled off her boots. “You gonna give Tiny here any
trouble when he uncuffs you?”

Karnage felt the weight of the Sanity Patch on his neck. “Won’t
lay a finger on him.”

Sydney nodded. “You heard the man. Uncuff him.”

Tiny didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure, Sydney? I mean—”

Tiny froze. Sydney had placed a finger against his shoulder. She
leaned in close to his ear. “Un. Cuff. Him.”

She pulled her finger away. Tiny staggered backward, gasping.
He shot Sydney a fearful glance, then approached Karnage warily,
and uncuffed him.

Karnage rubbed his wrists. “You mind telling me what this is all
about?”

Sydney pulled off her socks and wiggled and stretched her toes.
“I worked hard to get this command. Fought tooth and nail. Had to
fight twice as hard as any bloke half as good. Old boy’s network. You
know how it is. Even then, the best I got was this lousy outpost on
the outskirts of civilization. Most of the men out here are rejects
from elsewhere. Worst of the worst. The armpit of the force.”

“Hey!” Tiny said.

“Nothing personal, Tiny. You know it’s true.”

Tiny hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah.”

“But I did what I could,” Sydney was stretching her calves.
“Weeded out the cops on the take. Brought in much-needed
discipline. Whipped this place into shape. We weren’t top in the
region, but we did all right.”

Sydney pressed her leg against the wall, doing a vertical leg
split. “Then Brass calls. Tells me some nutty combat vet is loose
in my district. Dangerous stuff. A real menace to society. And I’m
thinking, finally, here’s my chance to show them what my boys can
do. But Brass has got other ideas. They think this might be more
than old Sydney can handle. So they bring in this guy Riggs. A real
up-and-comer, they tell me. Real hot shot. Bees knees. ‘He’s got the
inside scoop on this Karnage fella. You’re gonna love him,’ they tell
me. ‘Just wait until you meet him.’

“So old Riggs shows up. And he tells me he’s been given my
command. Temporarily, of course. Just until this whole Karnage
affair is dealt with. So why don’t I go sit back, grab a tea, and let the
Real Men deal with things in the meantime. And he’ll be sure to
give me back my command when he’s done with it. Honest. There’s
a good girl.”

“Sounds harsh,” Karnage said.

“I am, of course, paraphrasing.”

“That still don’t explain why I’m here.”

Sydney sat down, braced her fingers against the floor, then lifted
her body, balancing her weight on her fingertips. “It’s like this: Brass
claims you’re more than old Sydney can handle.” Sydney bounced on
her fingers a couple of times. Once resettled, she was balancing on
just her pinky fingers. “And I aim to prove them wrong.”

“And you’re gonna do that how?”

“By kicking your ass,” Sydney said. “In a fair fight, of course.”

“That doesn’t sound too rational.”

“Never said it was, mate.” Sydney stood up and stretched her
neck. She bounced on her toes. “You ready?”

Karnage felt the weight of the Sanity Patch against his neck. “I’d
be up for this more in the morning.”

“You trying to be funny?”

“I couldn’t be more serious.”

“Sorry, mate. We don’t got all night. Just do your best. I’ll go easy
on you at first. Let you get warmed up.”

“You’re too kind.”

“Thanks. Don’t let that get around.”

“Won’t tell a soul.”

“Appreciate it.” Sydney shook her body out, then lowered into a
crouch. She stuck out her pinkies like she was holding twin cups of
tea, and rose to the tips of her toes. She nodded once. “Here we go.”

And then she was on him.

Fingers and toes flew at Karnage with blinding speeds. Karnage
dodged, bobbed, danced and weaved. Once he was too slow and a
pinkie brushed his side. His vision exploded in black dots as pain
shot through him. He gasped and struggled to stay upright enough
to dodge a follow-up baby toe heading for his neck.

He’d never seen anyone move like this before. It was like a
martial arts version of shiatsu. Sydney knew all the right pressure
points to cause extreme pain in the body. It was brilliant. It was
like ballet, except it didn’t suck. Sydney’s every move was graceful.
The lines of her attack were beautiful. Karnage had never enjoyed
fighting someone so much in his life.

That joy was tinged with worry. He’d never had to move so
fast. He could barely keep up with her frenetic pace. It burned
him up inside that he couldn’t fight back. Not that he’d seen many
opportunities to do so. Once or twice he thought he saw an opening,
but they closed so fast it became obvious they were carefully laid
traps. Had he made a move, he would have exposed himself for a
crippling blow. Karnage had never seen Sydney’s equal. She was an
artist.

They moved back and forth across the room, swaying and bobbing
and weaving in a violent dance of bear and doe, the doe attacking
and the bear defending, clumsily dodging each finely thrust hoof
and horn. Karnage scrambled to avoid a toe that seemed to sneak up
on him from behind Sydney’s back. He heard a yelp from behind as
Tiny shouted, “Hey! Watch it! You almost hit me!”

“Stay out of my way and you won’t get hurt!” Sydney barked.

“Easy for you to say. You guys are all over the place. Hey!”

Karnage saw Tiny scramble to one side. That gave Karnage an
idea. He worked on dodging and ducking, moving in a slow arc
towards Tiny. Sydney made it near impossible. Her every attack
demanded specific precise counter-manoeuvres. But slowly, Karnage
moved them back in Tiny’s direction.

“Quit comin’ towards me!” Tiny screamed.

“Quit getting in my way!” Sydney yelled back.

Karnage heard Tiny scrambling behind him again. He ducked
between two fingers and a toe while sliding out his back leg
for balance. He felt the knocking of a leg as Tiny stumbled into
Karnage’s foot. Tiny squealed as he fell. Another toe raced towards
Karnage. Karnage grabbed a handful of Tiny and pulled him on top
as a human shield. Karnage heard a crunch and a scream as Sydney’s
toe slammed into Tiny. Tiny went still.

“Sorry, mate.” Sydney patted Tiny on the shoulder before tossing
him off Karnage and relaunching her attack.

Karnage rolled across the floor. A series of fingers and toes
slammed into the floor behind him.

Karnage heard the crackle of a stun stick in front of him. “I got a
bead on him, Sydney.”

“Stay outta this, Chuckles!”

“No worries. I got him.” A boot stamped onto Karnage’s back,
stopping him mid-roll. There was the crackle of electricity by his ear
and the smell of ozone. Just as quickly, it spun away as something
crunched and Chuckles screamed.

Karnage looked up. Sydney was balanced on her pinkies atop
Chuckles’s twitching chest. “Sorry, Chuckles. Got to do this on my
own,” Sydney twisted on her pinkies. There was a sickening crunch
and Chuckles went still. “You understand.” She backflipped off
Chuckles and stood before Karnage. She was shining with sweat.
Karnage took the opportunity to catch his breath.

“You’re better than I thought.”

“I gotta say,” Karnage panted. “I’m a little disappointed.”

“How so?”

“Your aim sucks. You’re good at hitting your own men. Not so
good at hittin’ me.”

Sydney smirked. “So what say we stop playing around and get
down to business?”

Sydney launched forward, fingers and toes flying at Karnage in
every direction. Karnage threw himself to the floor. A finger grazed
his back. His lungs seized and the breath shot out of him. All his
limbs tingled. He struggled up as best he could, clutching his knees
to his chest to catch his breath.

A toe nicked him in the ear. His left leg went numb. A finger
tapped his elbow. Spots exploded in his vision. Shot after shot
tapped and poked and prodded his skin. Pain exploded all over his
body. He felt like he was being carpet bombed. His every instinct
screamed at him to fight back. To kill!

He fought it. He wouldn’t succumb. He wouldn’t blow his head
off by giving in to his rage. His troopers were counting on him.
Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch.
He recited his mantra, his reason
for living.
Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch.
He struggled to his feet,
avoiding some blows, wincing under others.
Take it, soldier! Do it!
Your troopers need you! Velasquez! Heckler! Cookie! Koch!

“Fight back, goddammit!” Sydney screamed.

Karnage spat blood. The animal in his head was screaming:
Do
it, dammit! Look at her! She’s tired! Angry! Her guard is down! Take the
shot, soldier! TAKE THE SHOT!

Karnage didn’t.
Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch.
He slowly pulled
himself to his feet.
Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch.
He spat another
mouthful of blood.
Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch.

“This is stupid!” Sydney shouted. “You’re supposed to be better
than this!”

“I am,” Karnage said.

A toe threw Karnage across the room.

“Then take a shot at me!” Sydney yelled.

Karnage struggled to his feet. Blood was freely flowing from his
forehead.

“I can’t,” he said.

“What’s the matter? Don’t you fight girls?”

“Oh hell, yeah. I’m an equal opportunity combatant.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Karnage wiped the blood from his face. “Let’s just say I’m waitin’
for a sign.”

Sydney leaped at Karnage, pinning his arms to the floor,
straddling him with her tiptoes. “What kind of sign?”

Karnage’s neck beeped. “Attention: Sanity Level downgraded to
Frosty Pink. Thank you for refraining from violent behaviour.”

“That.” Karnage’s legs flew up, grabbed a surprised Sydney by the
neck, and slammed her into the floor. She was out cold.

Karnage’s neck buzzed. “Warning. Sanity Level upgraded to
Strawberry Shortcake. Please refrain—”

“Shut up.” Karnage looked down at Sydney. “You gotta learn to
control your temper there, Captain. No reason for you to lose your
cool. Unless, of course, you object to mindlessly beatin’ on a man.
Which I think you do. So fair’s fair, I guess. Your own moral code
brought you down. Worse ways to lose.”

He pulled the pistol from Sydney’s belt, happy to finally have his
hands on some serious hardware. He frowned. It felt far too light.
He pulled the gun’s clip.

“Goddammit.” It was empty. Karnage tossed the gun away in
disgust. Sydney had been bluffing him the whole time. “You got
guts, Captain. I’ll give you that.” He tried hard to suppress a smile.