Authors: T. J. Kline
“It's okay, Grant. I appreciate your honesty. I'll have to think about it though. I told you I don't date, and I have reasons. That's not going to change just because of a newspaper article.”
“Or two,” he reminded her.
She nodded in agreement. “Or two. But I'm not sure dating someone else is the right answer either.”
Grant needed her to agree to this plan. He hadn't realized how much until he'd come this morning. Seeing her looking pretty and sweet, her eyes half-Âclosed with sleep, her hair mussed and she still in her pajamas, he'd been able to convince himself that he wasn't ready for the permanence that she and James made him long for. But it was a lie.
And this plan of his wasn't only for her benefit. Until there was another man in her life, he was going to continue to want things he couldn't have. However, if she was happy in a relationship, he would gladly step back for her and James' sakes.
“I know what you said, butâ”
She waved him off. “I'm not saying I won't date, just that I haven't, not in a long time, and I need to take some time to consider it. I'm out of practice and I don't really know anyone here.” She took a sip of the coffee and looked over the rim at him. “Any recommendations?”
Grant felt his gut tighten in knots. Wasn't it bad enough to have to see her with someone else? How could he pick a guy out for her when he wanted her for himself? Crap, who did he know that deserved a woman like Bethany but whom he wouldn't see often enough for it to rip his heart out and make him want to beat the man senseless?
B
ETHANY TRIED NO
T
to stare across the car at Grant as he drove them out of town toward his parents' ranch. The man was a complete enigma.
Last night, she'd thought several times that he was going to kiss her. She'd even lain awake most of the night reconsidering her no-Âdating policy again, knowing it would be a huge mistake to go out with Grant but wanting it nonetheless. That rule had kept her and James away from heartache for the past six years. However, after seeing James with Grant last night, she realized it might not have protected James the way she'd thought it would. It might have sheltered him from heartache, but she'd also confined him to living in an overprotective fantasy that kept him from developing into the man she hoped he would someday become. Grant was rightâÂJames needed some male influences in his life, especially now that the only one he'd known was thousands of miles away, across the country from him. She'd spent most of the night contemplating her options, which really only came down to two courses of action: continue the way they had been and risk stunting James' development or take a chance and risk heartache both for her son and herself.
After making a decision in the early morning hours, she'd actually been excited to see Grant this morning, ready to spend the day getting to know him without the walls she usually erected. After all the flirting he'd done the evening before, she was looking forward to the warm thrill she felt when his eyes swept over her, the way his touch sent goose bumps over her flesh and a tremor through her. She'd been looking forward to the moments, like this one, when she could steal a glance at his profile, see his ruggedly handsome features and relish the heat seeping through her veins at the anticipation of their first kiss.
And then he'd made the suggestion she date someone else.
Finding out that Âpeople had seen her picture in the paper with him at the pizza place had been disconcerting enough, but to see the picture of his car parked outside her home, to read details of their imaginary love affair as if it were reality, had rattled her. She understood the small-Âtown dynamic, how everyone involved themselves in everyone else's business, but she hadn't expected a complete fabrication to circulate so quickly. It had definitely made her think twice about her decision the night before. However, Grant's suggestion had crushed it under the heel of his very expensive-Âlooking cowboy boot.
Regardless of how much he'd flirted, he obviously wasn't interested in anything more than friendship, exactly what she'd been insisting on from him since from beginning.
She'd brought this upon herself with her stupid rules and the way she'd pushed him away. She couldn't blame the man for taking her not-Âso-Âsubtle hints. Unfortunately, she'd changed her mind and made her decision too late. Now she'd have to live with the consequences, which meant she could have nothing more than friendship with the first man she'd found herself attracted to in years. It was all he offered and, while embarrassment would have her turn tail and run, she owed it to James to at least accept that from him. It wasn't James' fault she'd been foolish.
Grant turned toward her, catching her admiring him. “Whatcha thinking about? You've been pretty quiet during our ride.”
She shrugged. “The article, what I should do about it.” It wasn't a complete fabrication. She glanced over her shoulder into the back seat where James was playing with two of his superhero figures and lowered her voice. “I'm hoping there's no real backlash from some of my more judgmental parents at school.”
“And that is part of the reason I suggested you . . .” Grant looked back at James who smiled his way, obviously catching at least part of their conversation. “I suggested what I did,” he amended.
“You don't think that will make things look even worse?”
“If I get asked, I'll mention that James and I were paired by my sister because I know sign language. If you've been seen with someone else, it will just give it credence that there is nothing more going on and the story will drop.”
“I'm not going to use someone just soâ”
“I'm not telling you to
use
someone. I'm suggesting you find a niceâ” She cleared her throat in warning. “Friend to spend time with,” he clarified, turning his chocolate eyes on her again, melting her refusal. “Go see a movie, have a cup of coffee, take a walk in the park.”
“I like the park,” James chimed in from the back seat. “Can we go to the park too?”
“My house is sort of like a park, James. You'll like it.” Grant looked out the windshield again. “Bethany, you've been letting life pass you by. I have no idea what happened in your past, but you need to find your future. Find someone, be happy again.”
Grant's voice held a note of regret and she wondered if he wasn't wishing he'd done things differently as well. He wasn't wrong. Everything he mentioned was what she wanted for herself again, someday. But until now, there hadn't been anyone who made her want to take the risk. Unfortunately, the one man who had made her want to reconsider was telling her to find someone else.
Â
G
RANT SLOWED AS
he made his way up the driveway and stopped the Camaro in front of his parents' home. He knew his father and the twins would be coming in soon from feeding cattle, which was exactly the reason he'd arrived when he did. He didn't want Bethany to feel like he was throwing her to the wolves nor did he want James to feel overwhelmed by too many Âpeople at once. Only his mother and sister were at the house right now, since Andrew and Benjamin would still be in town until their shifts were over.
Maddie came out to the front porch to greet them. “Well, hello there, James! I think you're the first of the kids at school to see where I grew up.”
“Hi, Ms. McQuaid. Do I get to see your room?”
“Sure, why don't you come with me so your mom and Grant can grab a cup of coffee.” Maddie winked as she turned and he prayed Bethany didn't see it.
The last thing he needed right now was any matchmaking from his mother or sister. As much as he might want more with Bethany, his father was right. He couldn't leave her with a “baller” reputation as a noose around her neck in this small town. It was bad enough in a big city, but at least there she could disappear if things didn't work out. In Hidden Falls, she'd become a spectacle for the rumor mill.
“I'm betting Mom has a fresh pot in the kitchen and breakfast ready if you want something more substantial than donuts.” Grant held open the front door for her. They might only be friends but his mother had raised him to be a gentleman. Of course, that didn't explain the way his fingers itched to lie at her lower back as she entered.
“I had one of the bagels, remember? That was plenty.” She smiled at him as she walked through the door. “But I'd love another cup of coffee.”
“Then come right in,” his mother said, appearing in the hallway like a magician's assistant, wearing a smile just as cheesy. “I have a pot that's just about finished brewing. I'm Sarah McQuaid.”
Bethany held out her hand. “I'm Bethany Mâ” Her voice was cut off when his mother pulled her into a warm embrace. He could easily read the surprise on Bethany's face and laughed.
“Sorry, forgot to warn you about how Mom gets a bit overfriendly with company.”
His sister came back down the stairs, leading James with his little hand in hers. “Oh, I see Mom got a hold of you. Watch out, James, she loves little boys. So much that she had six of her own,” Maddie teased. “You're so sweet, she might want to keep you here forever and send Grant home with your mom instead.”
Grant felt the yearning bubble up in his chest. He'd love to go home with Bethany. Hell, he'd settle for just spending an hour alone with her.
Stop right there
, his brain warned.
Wrong timing, wrong woman. You are the wrong guy, remember?
If only his life wasn't in limbo right now, if there was some sort of concrete foundation for his future, if only he wasn't nearly broke. Until he had an answer from his doctors, until he knew where he'd be spending the rest of the spring or the yearâÂhell, until he knew whether his football career would continue or be finishedâÂhe couldn't be anything more than a friend to anyone.
But it didn't stop the wanting.
Releasing poor Bethany, his mother looked up at a giggling James. “Well, hello. And just who might you be?”
“Mom, this is James, Bethany's son and my favorite fan.”
“I thought I was your favorite fan,” she teased.
“I don't know,” he teased with a wink at James. “You might have some competition now.”
James took a step forward holding out his hand the way Grant was sure Bethany must have taught him to do but he too was enveloped in a big hug. His laughter rang through the hallway and another kick of longing hit Grant square in the chest.
This
is what I want.
He shoved the thought away, but he couldn't completely eradicate the vision of children running down the halls of his parents' house, his children . . . his and Bethany's children. His eyes fell onto the woman who haunted his thoughts and he saw her smile tenderly as James hugged Sarah back. He didn't know her well enough to have these sorts of thoughts but, in that moment, he realized what his mother was asking for when she begged him for grandchildren. She wanted a family, for him. She wanted this sense of undying legacy, of loving someone unconditionally and being loved the same way in return. Something that would last longer than football and be stronger than his desire to succeed. For the first time, he realized his career wasn't enough to satisfy him.
“Oh! I'm so sorry.”
Grant was jerked back into the moment and glanced up at his mother to see James adjusting one of the microphones over his ear.
“I didn't mean toâ”
“It's okay, they come off, see?” James pulled the magnetic piece from the side of his head to show her. “It doesn't hurt. They help me hear,” he explained.
His mother's eyes flicked to Grant and caught his gaze. He could see the emotion in them, a sheen that hadn't been there before, and he wondered what she was thinking. He felt tenderness well up in him as he watched James easily explain how his implants worked in a way that no six-Âyear-Âold should understand. When he looked at Bethany, he could see the fierce devotion in her face. She had every right to adore this child; he was strong and brave. He was amazing.
Grant took a step closer to her, his hand slipping to her lower back as he leaned to her ear. “It takes a pretty awesome mother to have a kid that great.”
She jumped, turning toward him, her forehead brushing his cheek, bringing his lips just inches from her skin. He inhaled the sweet vanilla scent of her hair, pulled back in a ponytail again, and felt her tense just a moment before she relaxed into his touch. His hand burned where it rested against her and his fingers itched to travel the curve of her spine, to trace the indentation of her waist and pull her closer.
He moved away quickly, only able to put a few feet between them before his mutinous body reached out for her hand. “Let's get that coffee.”
B
ETHANY SAT ON
the back patio watching the four men playing football with her son while Madison and Sarah chatted beside her. They cheered loudly as Grant picked up James and ran him to the end of the yard for another touchdown. Travis, Grant's father, ran over and gave James a high five as they walked back toward the women watching from the patio.
“And
that
is how you show two young pups how it's done.”
Jackson and Jefferson jogged over to the deck and reached for the bottles of water their mother held out to them. “We let you win, old man,” Jackson teased. “We didn't want to hear you crying when we beat you at football and fishing today.”
He flipped the cold perspiration from the bottle of water at his sister.
“Hey! Unless you want to ice down your pants, you'd best keep that cold water over there,” Madison threatened.
Sarah stepped between the pair, diffusing their playful bickering and Bethany couldn't help but smile at how quickly they both fell into line. “I've got lunch packed already for you guys whenever you're ready to head out. I think you father put all the poles into the trailer.”
“The horses are in the corral just waiting to be saddled,” Jefferson added.
“Horses?” Bethany's smile fell as she looked toward Grant, a tremor of fear creeping into her chest. He'd promised that he wouldn't put James on a horse. Neither of them had ever been around the animals and she certainly wasn't about to put her son onto a beast that could tumble him six plus feet to the ground. Not that she was too keen about sitting astride one either.
Grant's eyes twinkled with merriment. “It's how we're getting out to the pond, unless you want him to ride the quad with Dad?”
Bethany glared at Grant. “You said you wouldn't put him on a horse.”
“And
I
won't. You will.”
She shook her head slowly. “No, I won't.”
What in the world was he thinking? There was no way she was going to let him manipulate her into allowing this.
“Mom, I want to ride a horse too.”
“Before you say no, just come out and see the horses, okay?”
She shot Grant scowl and noticed that the rest of his family had already headed back toward the house, leaving them to argue about this privately.
Grant held his hands up in front of him. “Bethany, have I done anything that would indicate you can't trust James with me?”
“No,” she admitted, look at his throat instead of those eyes that begged for her give in to him.
So far, he'd been more than careful with her son. He seemed to inherently understand James' need for adventure, but somehow he managed to balance that with her need to protect him. He pretended to play rough with him, all the while, wrestling so carefully he hadn't even knocked off one of James implant microphones. He'd been just as vigilant of James as she was, but without smothering him the way she tended to do. In spite of her desire to disagree, Grant was right. He hadn't given her any reason to distrust him. In fact, she found herself wanting to let him lead the way, to teach both of them how to trust again.
Whoa, Bethany
, her mind warned.
Just friends, remember?
She remembered. But watching him play with her son, watching Grant interact with his family and the warm, loving dynamic they shared, was making it difficult to confine him in the friend zone when she longed for more.
Maybe he was right, maybe she did just need to get back on the horse, so to speak, and go out on a date with another man. Maybe these feelings she had for him were simply because he was the first man in years to pick the lock of the vault she'd kept bolted around her and James for so long. The same way being around his family made her long for close friendships again. Maybe she just needed to take that first step with someone.
“Bethany, look at me.” Grant's voice was soft as his fingers twined with hers, the rough callouses on his palms sending a shiver of heat up her arm and straight to her heart. “I won't do anything to hurt either of you.”
That's where you're wrong. I think you're going to break both of our hearts.
“
M
OM, LOOK!
”
J
AMES
was bouncing in place, delighted as he pointed toward the miniature black and white horse Jackson led from the corral. “He's little, like me.”
Bethany stopped short and Grant laughed, dragging her closer to the corral where Jefferson and his father were quickly saddling the other mounts for the adults. “Come on, slow poke. Let's go introduce James to Shorty.”
She followed his lead, but he could tell she was still hesitant, dragging her boots through the dirt and kicking up puffs of dust behind her. Grant let go of her hand and picked up James, taking him to Shorty's head. “James, meet Shorty. He's a quarter pony. That means he's exactly the same as the quarter horses thereâ” he pointed at the other mounts “âÂjust smaller. Just like you're a smaller version of us grown men.”
James reached out a hand to pet the horse as Shorty dropped his head. “See, he likes you already.”
“Mom, look!”
“I see.” Bethany's voice held a note of doubt, but Grant could see it was less than it had originally been.
“Okay, cowboy, here are the rules. You have to stay quiet and calm around horses and never, ever, walk farther than their front shoulders without an adult with you. That's a sure way to get kicked and, trust me, horse kicks hurt.”
James looked into his eyes somberly, absorbing everything he said with a focus far beyond his years. “I don't want to get kicked. Julie kicked me once at school and it hurt.”
Grant glanced back at Bethany and could see that this bit of information was news to her. She frowned, but refrained from saying anything.
“The second rule is that you have to wait for one of us guys or your mom to help you on and off. I want you to stay right here with your Mom while I saddle him for you, okay?”
James nodded and, when Grant put him back onto the ground, he held his mother's hand in a firm grip. “Mom, I get to ride him?”
“Grant, are you sure?”
He could see the fear in her eyes and knew this wasn't just a question of her allowing James to ride a horse. This was about her relinquishing control of her son's welfare to someone else. This was about whether she could trust someone to protect James in a situation she couldn't control. It went far deeper than apprehension and misgivings. She was asking if she could place her faith in him. He wouldn't let her down.
“Shorty is a great boy to learn on. In fact, Maddie learned to ride on him too.”
James' eyes grew wide. “She did? He's very old then.”
“James!” Bethany corrected.
He turned and signed something to her that Grant couldn't make out but couldn't hide his grin as Bethany signed back that calling someone old was rude. He looked crestfallen that he'd disappointed her.
“He's old but horses can live a long time and he was really young when she learned. He just moves a lot slower now. See that big horse over there?” Grant said as he pointed to his bay gelding. “I'm going to ride him but I'll be holding this rope and I'll lead Shorty the whole way. But you get to steer him with these reins.”
“You about ready?” Grant pulled the pony's cinch tight as Jackson brought his bay to the hitching post. Jefferson followed behind with the sorrel mare he'd chosen for Bethany. Ginger was as sweet as any they had on the ranch and would plod along beside his horse, babysitting her while he kept an eye on James.
“Yes!” James clapped his hands and jumped into the air.
“Remember what I said about staying calm and quiet.” James immediately stilled. “Bethany, bring him over here and lift him into the saddle.”