Male Review (10 page)

Maud shrugged. “I don’t think she’d be in a threesome with Eric, but if it’ll help her to be less uptight I’m happy to give it a try.” Sam put his hand on Meg’s shoulder and Maud gave him a gummy leer. “Or alternatively we could forget your mother and you two could join us.”

Eric grinned, apparently hoping she would say yes.

Finally running out of patience, Meg picked Maud’s robe off the bottom of the bed and tossed it at Eric. “I suggest you get dressed and get out before my mother wakes up and comes to investigate what all the noise is about. You really don’t want to meet my mother, and in future, I would ask that you do it someplace else. That is just disgusting. Eww, now I’ll have to wash the covers.”

Maud rolled her eyes. “He’s a man, not a bad case of syphilis. You’re starting to sound more like your mother every day. You need to be careful. I wasn’t joking. Mrs. Michaels at the day center swore her crack healed up when she stopped having sex with her dirt bag husband. Remember I told you he spent all his superannuation on buying that Russian mail order bride even though he was still married. He said he was going to become a sheik and start a harem. I don’t know about you, but I want to keep all my bits working.”

“I don’t want to talk about Mrs. Michael’s or your crack. I want you to get that strange uninvited man out of my flat.”

“I’m not uninvited. Maud invited me.” Eric started to climb out of the bed and Meg put her hands over her eyes.

“Wait, I don’t need to see this.”

“Why, afraid if you see me naked you won’t be able to hold yourself back?”

“No, she’s afraid she’ll throw up. Now get your clothes on and go home.” Sam grabbed her elbow and led her from the room.

Chapter Nineteen

Meg stifled a yawn. It was no good; she wouldn’t get back to sleep now so she may as well get up. She let out a sigh. Spending the night in Sam’s bed should be heavenly, but when she had to fight with her mother for blankets, it was pure hell. The woman cocooned herself in the duvet and snored like a truck. Her dad deserved a medal for services to sleep deprivation. Thankfully, her mother had slept through the whole Eric incident. Maud had been far from contrite. Apparently, she had gotten home from her date and snuck him in after her mother had gone to bed. By the time they shoved him out the front door, it was two in the morning.

Meg moved carefully, climbed from the bed, and pulled on her jeans and T-shirt. She would shower later once they worked out what everyone planned to do. The thought of a day with her mother and Maud was unbearable. Spending the day with Laura at the new bar was suddenly looking more appealing. Even if Maud tagged along, having other people around would spread the load. No matter what the next twenty-four hours held, she needed a cup of coffee before her eyelids became glued shut.

She crept out of the room, tugging the door closed behind her. Maud’s snores rattled the windows. The two older women in her life might be separate ends of the spectrum where sex was concerned, but the related sleeping beauties snored in the same key. Meg couldn’t help but wonder if she sounded like that when she was asleep. She would have to ask Sam once they finally spent another night together.

Poor Sam. She stood in the doorway and watched him sleeping on the sofa. He was at least a foot too tall for it to be comfortable. He’d flung his right arm over his head and his left leg hung off the edge. Being as quiet as she could she crossed the room and tugged the blankets up to keep the draft off him. The arm formerly languishing above his head moved so fast she barely saw it before he grabbed a hold of her and pulled her down on top of him.

He hugged her close and she snuggled into him as he whispered, “Morning, sexy.”

She sighed with contentment as he slipped the blanket from between them and tucked her up with him. His rock hard body was warm and something was definitely coming to life. Currently his appendage was digging into her thigh. If only she could start every morning this way, but if she did, they would probably never actually get out of bed. “You want coffee?”

“Is coffee the best you can do?”

She rolled to the left and palmed the front of his shorts. “Sorry, big guy, but if I let him loose there will be no putting him back, even if my mother walks in the room.”

“You sure I can’t tempt you?”

“I’m tempted, but coffee is all I’m offering.”

“Okay, if you’re making yourself a cup, I won’t say no.”

He loosened his grip and she pushed up on her hands to kiss him good morning.

“I don’t suppose you brought any clothes out of my room for me, did you?”

Meg shook her head. “Sorry. I didn’t want to wake Mum. I need caffeine before I spend a moment with either her or Maud.”

Sam climbed off the sofa. As much as she would love to stay and gaze at him in his tighty-whities and T-shirt she knew it wouldn’t help ease the dull ache deep inside. They seriously needed some quality time alone together. The appetizer yesterday had just made her want him more.

She was adding the boiling water when Sam wandered through with his boots in his hand. He sat at the table and pulled them on. Joining him, she placed his cup on the table and took a seat.

“Why are you putting your boots on?”

He finished tying the last lace. “This isn’t going to work.”

Her heart sank to her stomach. She had a fair idea what he was talking about. The flat was way too small for four people, especially when one of them needed a bed to himself, unless she shared his bed, or took the sofa, and her mum shared with Maud.

“Mum can sleep with Maud.”

Sam took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “You can’t fix this by moving everyone around. Life isn’t a game of chess. You need time to find a home for Maud and to get your parents back together. I’m just a distraction. If you share my room, your mother will become even more convinced you’re a fallen woman in need of salvation, and I’m not sure you’re ready to fight that. I can’t let you take the couch.” He stretched and she heard something crack. “It’s really not designed for sleeping on. I can bunk in the spare room at my parents’ place for a few nights.”

Tears blurred her vision. “I don’t want you to go. What if you never come back?”

He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I have no intention of letting you get away that easily. Hopefully it will only be for a couple of days. Everyone will move out and we can finally get some time alone together. In the meantime, I could take you out on a date. Now Maud has a live-in babysitter we can go out to dinner like a real couple.”

Meg smiled through her tears. “I’d like that.”

“You never know. If I actually date you, your mother might get used to the idea of us living together as a couple, and we won’t need to sneak around anymore.”

Meg had her doubts. If her mother thought Meg and Sam were more than friends, she would probably stay until Sam made an honest woman of her so he wouldn’t be tempted to steal her virtue. A virtue she hadn’t had for years and would gladly give to Sam any day of the week. “So, you will come back?”

Despite his assurances, a small doubt niggled at the back of her head. If she’d met his relatives and they were all as crazy as hers, she couldn’t help but wonder if she would be able to shake off the thought it might be hereditary and head for the hills before Sam went completely off his head.

“This has nothing to do with us. I guess the lineup of crazies just got too big, and to be honest, I could handle living with almost anyone but your mother. At least when it was only Maud I managed a quick grope and a passionate kiss. Now your chaperone has moved in, the game’s up. I can’t see you every day and not be able to touch you. Unless you want to tell your mother that we are more than friends?”

Meg pulled her feet up onto the chair and wrapped her arms around her jean-clad knees. “Do you want me to tell her?” Her heart pounded. He’d just said he thought she wasn’t ready, but did that bother him? Was this a test? If she said she couldn’t tell her mother had she failed to prove she loved him? Would he walk out and never come back?

He shook his head, and then leaned forward and ran a hand over her hair. “No. I don’t think either of us is ready to become her pet project. She would have us down the aisle before we had a chance to draw breath. That’s not to say we won’t take that walk one day, but when we’re ready, not because your mother ordered it. You’ve got enough on your plate without me adding any more pressure. I’m here for as long as you need me. I love you no matter what. One day we’ll be ready to tell her and she’ll accept it on our terms, but I don’t think we need to have that argument right now, do we?”

“No, not today.”

Sam leaned forward and planted a kiss on her cheek. “No, not today. Today I’ll move out while you’re at the bar with Maud to save any long goodbyes. Then I’ll call you and we’ll talk about dinner one night this week, okay?”

She nodded and wiped her fingers over each eye to mop up the few tears that had escaped.

They sat and drank coffee in companionable silence. Sam’s suggestion they date had merit. However, she had a horrible feeling if her mother thought there may be any romantic interest between the two of them she would be even more determined to act as chaperone to salvage Meg’s battered reputation. The only answer was to get them all to go away. Meg tried to plot ways to get rid of her pesky relatives. How had things gotten to this stage? Why couldn’t Maud stay with Meg’s parents? Why couldn’t her mother take an interest in someone else’s business instead of hers? Why didn’t she give Sian the third degree about her personal life?

The sound of the shower running heralded the impending end to the peace and quiet.

Chapter Twenty

Meg tugged up her hot pink and silver tube top, and then rested her head on her hand.

“That’s the third time you’ve sighed in the last five minutes.”

She turned and looked at Laura before sighing again. What she wouldn’t give to swap lives with her. All of her family lived clean across the other side of the country, and she made the ridiculous bar outfit look good. She wasn’t sure about taking on man-mountain and lady killer extraordinaire, Chad, as a boyfriend, but if Laura were her she wouldn’t care whether her mother disapproved of sex and would bonk Sam with gay abandon whenever the mood took her. The thought of making out with Sam, free from inhibitions and without a concern in the world, sent a warm glow pulsing through her.

Laura slipped behind the bar, placed a glass in front of Meg and lifted a bottle of brandy off the shelf. “Now you’re moaning. I think you need some of this, for medicinal purposes.”

She filled the glass and shoved it at Meg.

Meg shoved the drink back. It was only just after midday, and if she started drinking now she might not be able to stop. Living in a constant drunken stupor wasn’t the way to deal with her problems. Besides, she could be knocked up. The nausea had subsided, but her period was two weeks away so surely that meant she was at her most fertile. She placed a protective hand on her belly. What if she had a baby Sam in her womb? She couldn’t think about the possibility of becoming a mother now.

“I don’t want a drink.”

Laura lifted another glass off the shelf and added a slug of brandy. “Yes you do. And then you want to tell me what has you tripping over your face.”

Knowing arguing with Laura was pointless once she had decided something, she took a tiny sip. She didn’t have a clue where to begin. Laura already knew about Maud. A chill crept up her spine.

“Where’s Maud?”

“I sent her out shopping for cleaning supplies.”

“You did what? Oh shit.”

Laura grabbed her arm. “Calm down, girlfriend. I’m not stupid enough to send her by herself.”

“Who did she go with?”

“Chad.” Laura chuckled. “She’s a pussycat in his hands.”

Meg stared at her. Had Laura found a way to control the sex mad fiend? “What’s his secret?”

Eyebrow raised, Laura pointed a red painted fingernail at her crotch.

“Sorry?”

“He’s promised to let her watch his first strip opening night from the front row if she behaves herself.”

“If only I had a huge dick, maybe I could get her to behave as well.”

“You could always try a strap on.” Laura laughed and shoved the glass back toward Meg. “So, come on, girlfriend, spill before the bar manager I hired arrives. We’ve got to at least look like we made some effort to get ready for Friday’s grand opening.”

“What bar manager?”

“You’ll see when he gets here. Stop trying to change the subject. What has you behaving like a lovesick puppy?”

“My mother left my dad and moved in with us.”

“I wondered what she was doing at your place last night. Cozy. Gees, Sam must be in heaven. Three generations of you to amuse him.”

Meg punched her in the arm. “Behave. That’s disgusting. Besides, none of us are amusing him. He moved out.” She glanced at the clock on the wall behind the bar. “About an hour ago.”

“What? Why? I thought you were still trying to break him.”

“I was.” Meg felt a warm flush rise up her face at the memory of her man in action. She doubted he would be any more comfortable at his parents’ than she felt living with her mother. They were lovely people, and almost liberated, but not liberated enough for him to invite girls to his room, or for him to make out in usual loud and vigorous fashion with his right hand. It seemed they were both stuck in the land of chastity until the sex gods smiled upon them.

“You two haven’t broken up, have you?”

“Nope, he just couldn’t live with all of us. Apparently, two crazy relatives was beyond his limit. No man should have to suffer Maud and my mother.”

“So, what’s the plan?”

“Plan?”

Laura rolled her eyes. “The plan to get your man back and on his back.”

Before Meg could even begin to think of an answer, Laura slammed her drink down and let out a loud squeal before running around the bar.

Chad must be back and that would mean Maud was in close proximity. With a groan Meg folded her arms on the bar and buried her face in the faint hope everything would go away and she would wake up to Sam shaking her and offering to take her through her paces.