Malspire (10 page)

“Malspire!”

“Brother!” We clasped one another. It felt good to hold my brother again. It always did.

“At last I found you. I saw your ship, and asked about you. That man, Crosp, told me you had found it in your heart to be charitable to an old man and his granddaughter.”

“His daughter,” I corrected him.

“She must be a rare sight,” Ajator laughed.

“She is a fine lady and was in need of my assistance, nothing more.”

Ajator beamed at the sight of me. I felt likewise and wanted to tell him of my feelings for this woman, but couldn't find the words.

“How are you?” Ajator asked, changing the subject. “You look like you fell off a mountain this time. Was it a hard fight? I heard you ran into pirates, but gave them hells and fire.”

“They gave me hells, but yes we ended their days at sea. We took a prize!”

“Well done! Who was the captain?”

“A Captain Yorlwig. Never heard of him, but it doesn't matter now, he's rotting at the feet of Vorn in the lower depths.”

“Dead is he?”

“Yes. I fought him in single combat and took his life.”

“Ha! I knew you were a hero.”

“No hero, Ajator, just lucky.”

“Malspire?” This was Veinara. She appeared at the steps of the inn behind us.

“Miss Havlon,” I said as she approached.

“I wanted to thank you one last time for saving us...” She was watching Ajator, so I introduced her to my brother.

"A pleasure, Miss Havlon," said Ajator, bowing.

"The famous twin of my rescuer. Malspire told me all about you."

They spoke but I did not listen for my heart sank as low as the deepest depths of the Outer Oceans for I saw how my brother met her eyes, and how in an instant, she forgot I was even standing there. Ajator was besotted from the very second he saw her and it seemed he had the same effect on Veinara. Inside, I was screaming my rage at the world, cursing the gods and spitting at the poets of romances. Superficially I stood calmly, and waited as they talked. Life is a dark and overgrown path of many thorns and potholes, rain and ice, fire and pain. I walked this path and sometimes, very rarely I would just make out a ray of light up ahead which would give me hope. Sometimes I dared to dream that things could be better, but always my dreams would crash to the rocky ground and splinter into a thousand shards that would further litter the path before me and cut my feet as I continued my lonely journey. I heard nothing of what they said. Not a single word, for sound had simply become a background noise, played in the chaotic field of emotions that was my broken heart. I saw them laugh. I saw them flirt and I saw them touch as Ajator kissed her hand.

"Malspire? Malspire?" This was Ajator.

I awoke, back on the street outside the inn. Ajator stood tall and handsome, as strong as a lion. Veinara again said her goodbyes and left us with a final glance at Ajator.

"Are you alright?" asked Ajator. "You've gone pale."

"Me? Fine," I answered curtly, but Ajator did not seem to notice.

Ajator talked of Veinara all the way back to the ship. The injustice of it was crushing, and for the first time in my life, I was truly angry with my brother. How dare he come along and so casually take the woman I had saved from the pirates? How dare he simply look into her eyes and make her forget me? It was then that I realised that I had truly fallen in love with Veinara. We had only known one another for three days but I thought she understood me. I felt she was the one I would sail beyond the Great Oceans for. Perhaps it was just an infatuation? Perhaps these foolish feelings would pass, but it still hurt so very much. It was not lust, I wanted to care for her and wanted her to care for me, but she did not care. How could she if she fell so easily for Ajator’s charms? It was a betrayal that made my world spin.

“Why the long face all of a sudden, Malspire?” asked Ajator. I had said nothing for a long while.

“What? Nothing.”

“Nothing? We’ve not seen one another in weeks yet you seem sad now.”

“My shoulder is hurting,” I half lied. “The blade went deep and I helped to carry their belongings.”

“It's the girl isn't it?”

“No!” I tried to wave away the accusation, but it came out as angry and hurt.

“Forgive me, brother. I'll stay away from her.” Ajator said this with a heavy heart. He tried to hide it, but I knew my brother, and felt a pang of pity for him. Although angry with him, I could not see Ajator sad. It was either the pity or pride that made me say, “She is a fine lady Ajator, but not to my tastes. Please, don't let me stop you. If you like her, go and see her.” I even smiled. It was so hard, but I smiled for my brother, and Ajator beamed.

“Are you sure? She is a wonder. Such character. Such wit!”

“I'm sure.” I was sure I had lost her, but knew she was lost as soon as she had seen Ajator, so what was the use in trying to fight it? I couldn't win such a contest. There was probably no contest to begin with anyway. What was I thinking? How could she ever love one such as me?

“Fine. Perhaps I will visit her. We leave in six days. Plenty of time to get to know her,” Ajator said, rubbing his gloved hands to warm his fingers.

Such confidence. And me? I was never so confident. My brother would simply decide what was to happen and one way or another make it so. I on the other hand always had doubts and worries. Ajator was perfect. So perfect. In any other man, I would have hated him, but this was my brother and although my heart was broken, I loved him still.

Always has the perfect annoyed me. Only the broken, imperfect could be something I loved, but Ajator was the exception I suppose. Ajator was perfect and I loved him still. Of course now I know that the rule still stood. It was not an exception, it was just that then I did not see the imperfection.

I saw no more of Veinara, and avoided my brother. Keeping to myself, I drank heavily whenever Captain Crosp wasn't about which was most of the time as the captain was staying at the Naval Offices making plans with the other senior officers. Rumour was that the rebels were planning a major strike. The obvious choice was to attack Umuron to try to force the Empire out of this region, but others said that the rebels wanted to capture that strange volcanic island system at the heart of the ocean called the Isles of Ash. At present, the Empire controlled those islands and access was limited. What was so interesting about them, I did not know.

I read the papers and practiced angrily with my cutlass. I played cards and lost money. I never left the ship unless I had to, but simply retreated from the outside world into the belly of the wooden hull. Its crew started avoiding me as I would quickly growl, snap, and chastise them for petty errors. I grew more morose by the day until after the fourth day in port, there was a knock at my cabin door.

"Enter," I said with a slur, having been drinking heavily. My voice even surprised me, but I did not care.

Grandon Harl entered the little cabin and closed the door behind him. The room had a desk, a chair, a thin wardrobe and a cot. I sat at his desk in the dim light of the lantern with a bottle in one hand and a wooden cup in the other. Harl wrinkled his nose and I guessed that I must have smelt like a beggar, but I did not care.

"Well?" I asked of the sailor.

"How old are you, sir?"

"What?"

"How old are you?"

"Twenty two cold winters, Mister Harl. What the devils does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm forty eight, sir. Forty eight winters and summers," Harl added.

"What's your point Mister Harl?" grumbled I. My head was hurting.

Grandon Harl, still standing to attention at the door considered his next words. "I ain't seen it all, but I've seen plenty. I sailed the seas longer than you've been alive and I've seen things both strange and magical in my time. I've seen fish with the heads of lions. I've arm wrestled with a man who had three eyes. I once had dinner with the prince of Col-Jah and ate the brains of a swamp monkey. I've seen the morning sun rise through the mists of the Tebio Falls and I saw a woman who was so beautiful, men would lay down their lives for one kiss."

Harl now edged closer to me as he spoke, forsaking discipline for passion. I let him. The sailor's words were spoken with a simple honesty that I could not resist.

"It's a strange world, sir. The Gods of Creation know no bounds. I saw a witch bring a lamb back from the dead by blowing through its nose and a wizard raise a ship from the very seabed, sir. I once even saw a giant take a hammer and crush the head of a troll that had killed his family. The giant then threw himself over a cliff top to his own bloody death." This was more than Harl would normally speak in a whole day. I liked Harl. I even respected him and so Mister Harl's words held weight and I continued to listen.

"I've seen some strange things," Harl said again. "Wonderful things and tragic things, but never in all my days and all my travels have I seen something as strange as a man's love for a woman and a woman's way with men. What is this thing that drives us so mad? Eh? What is it that raises us up to the heavens, and then rips out our hearts and drops us back to the deck again, broken and unwanted?"

"What is it, Grandon? Do you know?" I asked, desperately wanting to know the answer, no longer caring for pride or status. Mister Harl was right. I had been raised up in hope and then cast aside like a rag doll in a storm.

"I don't, sir. No man knows. All I know is that it happens to all of us. It happens to the best of us, and when it does, it hurts like the white hot tip of a poker in the gut, sir. Nothing to be ashamed of. You're an officer, I know, but you've been good to the lads and they see you as one of them, sort of, and I look after the lads."

My shoulders slumped. Harl sat down on the cot. "It's hard sometimes, Harl. How did you know?"

"Saw your brother with that woman you were taking an interest in. A fine woman, but not the last, sir. Plenty of women out there, just waiting to be saved from pirates."

"What then?" I asked. "Raised up again, then stabbed in the heart?"

"Oh yes," Harl said lightly. "But then one day, one of them will be right. One will only have eyes for you."

I was aware that all semblances of authority and strength were gone now. I was naked and laid bare. I was also aware that the older man must think me a fool for falling in love after only three days with this woman, but it did not seem wrong. Grandon Harl was offering friendship and I found that I desperately needed it and no longer had the strength to fight the honest offer. "It would be nice. I dared to think of a future with a wife and children. I had never thought it possible before, but she was kind to me."

"I know," said Harl.

"Don't think badly of my brother. I told him to go to her."

"Of course. One day, sir. One day you will have that life."

"Do you think so?" I said, looking at the man, offering my mongrel face for examination.

"Yes I do," Harl said sincerely. "Best not to introduce her to your brother until you're married though."

We both laughed at this.

"What a bloody fool I am, Harl. One pretty woman shows a bit of affection and I fall apart."

"You're a man, sir. We're all fools where women are concerned."

***

It was the fifth day in Umuron, and I knew my brother would be heading for Norlan the next, so I made my way over to the Grand Oak to say farewell. I was still heartbroken but it could be months before I saw Ajator again, and so I steeled myself and searched him out. After asking some crew, I eventually found Ajator behind a stacked pile of stock, oddly hidden away from prying eyes. I did not call out to him as Ajator seemed to be in conversation with a stranger clad in fine furs with a top hat and golden rings upon his fingers that were wrapped around a silver topped cane. The man was wearing a pair of dark goggles, and had his collar turned up so it was hard for me to make out his face. The stranger was pointing a long finger at Ajator, and telling him something that I could not hear. I backed away round the side of the stack and waited. When Ajator finally appeared, he was surprised to see me and shot a glance back, but it seemed the stranger had gone.

“I was looking for you,” I said.

“I was inspecting the stock. A ship that size has a lot to take on and we leave in the morning,” said Ajator indicating the stack.

“We leave today. My captain returned last night with orders to patrol the region. We’re to hunt rebels, stop piracy and smugglers from supplying the enemy. The Sea Huntress is ready to leave, so I wanted to say goodbye.”

Ajator smiled, and took me by the shoulder. “I came looking for you, but you've been busy. Is all well? Are your ship and crew ready for action?”

“All is well, and yes, we're ready.” I did not want to ask but I couldn’t help myself. “Did you visit her?”

Ajator stopped for a moment. “I did.” He looked at me with a pained expression. “We've grown close, but it weighs heavy on my heart, brother. I know you like her.”

“Please. Of course I like her, but as I said, she's not my type. Don't feel bad. I much prefer the simplicity and demands of a common girl. Miss Havlon will demand a lot more of you than a couple of coppers and a bottle of wine if you're not careful!”