Mama's Boy and Other Dark Tales (23 page)

"'I'm in here, Mama.’ I yawned and stretched, preparing myself for whatever mood she might be in. The footsteps stopped.

"'Mama?’ No answer. Must have been the settling of the old house. I rolled out of bed and into the chilly room, looking for my clothes. I was putting on my Wranglers when I heard the doorknob twisting behind me.

"'I thought I heard you, Mama.’ I turned and saw her fingers curl around the door from the other side. As I walked toward her, the fingers disappeared and the sound of footsteps started again in the hall. I opened the door but no one was there, just a wet, musty smell—probably from the cellar.

"Mama was never one to play silly games, but she must have been feeling better if she ran down the hall that fast. I thought I'd play along to keep the peace, so I went down the hall after her. Hearing a rustling, I entered a room that was heaped full of boxes and junk, broken toys, dishes, and crumbling newspapers. I was squeezing my way through the stacks of boxes, in case she was hiding behind one, when I heard a bump in the closet—I knew I had her.

"I snuck up to the closet door, ready to jump in with a ‘Boo!’ My hand was on the doorknob when the door burst open, smashing me in the face and knocking me backward into a heap. I was dazed and tangled up in electrical cords and old clothes when a horrible screeching sound came from the depths of the closet. I scrambled to my feet, forgetting the pain in my face, and peeked from behind a stack of junk.

"Something large loomed in the shadow of the closet door. Thinking it was Mama playing a trick on me, I inched forward. Suddenly, it crashed to the floor at my feet, glass shattering everywhere. I jumped back, scared out of my wits. With my heart thundering, I saw that a huge brass floor lamp had tipped over in the closet, forcing the door open. The screeching must have come from the globe rubbing against the closet door as it fell to the floor. I felt foolish for being scared by a lamp.

"From the corner of my eye, I saw something slip by in the hall. Ready to be done with the silly game, I went out to find Mama. The door to the honeymoon suite was open a crack.
How dare she go in there!

"Furious that Mama had gone in the room I was saving for my bride, I stormed in, tired of playing hide and seek and ready to tell her so. And there she was, legs splayed wide, naked on the filthy bedcovers. Her hand was on her breast and her head was twisted at an odd angle as she stared up at the ceiling.

"'Dammit, Mama! I'm tired of this game.’ She ignored me, so I walked over to the bed.

"'Come on, Mama,” I said, grabbing her hand. It was limp and cool.

"'Mama!’ Not blinking, she just kept staring while the corner of her mouth twisted down and a string of drool hung from her chin.

"With Mama showing no signs of improvement, I spent the next several days trying to convince her to go to the emergency room, but she made me swear never to take her to the hospital, no matter how bad it got. It got pretty bad, but I kept my promise.

"I watched over her as best I could while I got the house ready for Victoria. I found some tools for making repairs and propped Mama up so she could watch me work. First thing on the list was some sawing. Together we decided that some ... physical modifications would make things easier for her. Depressed by her deterioration, my eyes watered a little as I went about the sawing. She watched closely but didn't say much after that—sore throat, I think—but I could tell by the look in her glassy eyes that she approved of the changes."

Henry paused. With his scarred hand, he motioned for the doctor to bring him the clay. He misted it, watching the droplets spill over the empty eyes. With a gentle touch, stroking the moist, bald scalp of the head, he turned to the job of making a new set of eyes. He continued:

"Now that Mama was ... stabilized, I was able to turn my attention to my beautiful Victoria. Mama always told me that one way to tell a woman you love her is to show that you're interested in her life. I had always done that with my other girls, and they loved it—all except Lilly."

"Who's Lilly, Henry? You haven't mentioned her before."

"She was my first girlfriend, besides Mama, of course. But being she's my mama, I guess that doesn't really count, does it?"

"Why didn't Lilly appreciate your interest?"

"I don't know. Everything was going so well. I met her in the Eastville town park after school one day. I was sixteen and pretty lonely, and she was new in town and didn't know anybody. I understood what that was like because of moving around so much with Mama. We talked for a long time and kind of hit it off, so I started meeting her in the park at night. Her daddy did shift work and her mama lived in another town, so it was easy for her to sneak out.

"Mama got really mad when I first mentioned Lilly, so I didn't tell her that we were seeing each other. But, of course, she was suspicious, which lead to a huge fight one night. As I was leaving the house to see Lilly, Mama lit into me.

"'You're gonna see that harlot, aren't you?’ she said.

"'No, Mama. I'm just going out for a walk.'

"'Like hell you are! I need you home with me, boy.'

"I don't know what came over me, Doc. Stupidity of youth, I guess, but I'd just had enough.

"'Mama, I don't really care what you want,"’ I said. ‘I'm going to see Lilly whether you like it or not! I'm sixteen years old now, and I have a girlfriend. Fact is, I'm sick of you, and I'm sick of this life. I want out!'

"Eyes blazing, Mama shouted, ‘Then get the hell out, you little bastard. I raise you and I love you, and this is how you treat me? Get out! Go to your little whore.'

"Although it was what I wanted, I stood there stunned for a moment.

"Mama's face was flaming. ‘Get the hell out, I said.’ She threw her shoe at me, and then she started throwing anything she could put her hands on. I dodged a glass of gin, and it smashed against the wall; then she wielded an ashtray, continuing to scream, tears running down her face. ‘Get out. Get out! GET OUT!'

"'Fuck you, Mama!’ I ran for the door.

"'You'll never fuck me again, you little shit,’ she screamed. She was slinging the heavy ashtray when I slammed the door; I heard it shatter as I ran down the steps. At first I was upset, but the further away from the house I got, the better I began to feel. I was free—free of Mama; free to start a new life ... with Lilly. By the time I reached the park, I had plans for our future racing through my mind. I couldn't wait to tell her.

"No one else was around at that time of night, but there she was, waiting on the swings, her long black hair blowing in the breeze from the river. Slim and long-legged, she was beautiful. I ran to her, picked her up and swung her around in a circle. She laughed with surprise. Then I kissed her, just like Mama always liked. It was our first kiss.

"Lilly gasped and pushed me away when I put my tongue in her mouth. ‘What are you doing?’ she said.

"'I'm kissing you.'

"'Well, I don't want you to. Okay?’ She moved away and turned her back on me. I stepped up from behind and wrapped my arms around her. She was tense, but she didn't resist.

"'I have some great news to tell you,’ I said. ‘I had a little talk with my mama tonight.’ It felt so good to be holding her, and without even thinking I just reached up and squeezed her delicious little breast. She spun out of my arms before I could tell her my plans.

"'Stop it! What's wrong with you?’ She scowled at me. I was confused.

"'Well, you're my girl. I just want to show you how much I love you.'

"'I don't know what you're talking about.'

"Then it dawned on me, ‘Oh, I get it now. You like to play games.’ I reached out, grabbed her by the arms and pulled her in close, kissing her neck and biting her ear. She scrunched up her shoulders and struggled out of my grip.

"'What are you doing?’ she snarled at me.

"God, I wanted her so bad, but her teasing was starting to piss me off.

"'Look, Henry. I don't like you that way. We're just friends, okay? Besides, my father would kill me if he knew I was here with you.'

"'But I'm gonna marry you, Lilly.’ I started feeling an old panic rising in me.

"She laughed at me. ‘Are you kidding? I'm fifteen! And besides, I'd never marry you. You buy me beer and cigarettes, and there's nobody else to hang out with.'

"Stung by her words, I struck her hard across the face and she fell to the ground. She tried to get up and I hit her again. When she cried out, I felt excited, powerful, and grabbed her by the hair, clamping my hand over her mouth to silence her screams. As I dragged her into the woods, I knew exactly what to do. I'd show her how much I loved her—and I'd make her love me back. If I was anything, it was a great lover.

"Pushing her down into the leaves, I straddled her. She bit my hand and started screaming for help. I had to hit her again so she wouldn't draw attention, but I struck her a little too hard. She went limp and her head dipped to the side.

"While she slept, I took off my belt and tied her hands tight. Mama always liked that. I knew that once I finished, Lilly would feel happy again, satisfied.

"She started coming around, so I pulled down my pants so she could see how excited I was for her. Her eyes went wide and I flipped her over, clamping my hand tight over her mouth again. I kneeled behind her, lifted her skirt and slid her panties down. Breathing in her sweaty, ripe smell, I knew she was ready for me.

"I slid in, and she was so tight. Not like Mama. It felt so good to take her, to show her how much I loved her. She cried and whimpered as I pushed hard, but with all the excitement I didn't last long. When I was done, I turned her over and looked into her beautiful green eyes. Her tears sparkled in the street light filtering through the trees.

"'I love you, Lilly,’ I panted, stroking the hair out of her face. I lifted my hand from her mouth, waiting for her reply.

"'You bastard,’ she sobbed. ‘When my father finds out, he'll kill you.'

"Rage boiled up inside me and I smacked her. ‘Who's gonna tell him?’ She didn't say anything. Her lips were clenched in a tight line but I could tell she was thinking. She looked scared, and I liked the way that felt. ‘You do love me, Lilly. Don't you?’ No reply, just more tears. Whimpering, she turned her face away from me. ‘Why don't you love me?’ I screamed. ‘I've given up everything for you, bitch!'

"But she wouldn't answer me, so I hit her. Then, I hit her again. I kept hitting her until she stopped crying. Once she was quiet, I gathered her in my arms and held her until she grew cold, then I dumped her in the river.

"I slept on the river's edge until it began to rain. With nowhere else to go, I walked home, wondering if Mama would let me in the house. She didn't, so I slept on the porch. In the morning I found the door open, so I went inside and climbed into my own bed.

"For days, we went around the house avoiding each other. Mama and I hadn't talked since the night Lilly died. After a few days of peanut butter sandwiches, she started leaving food in the refrigerator for me, and I started doing the dishes and taking out the garbage like I'd always done. I wasn't sure how long it would take for the police to come and take me away. Nobody but Mama knew that Lilly and I were seeing each other, but I thought they'd figure it out sooner or later. Sure enough, after a couple of weeks, a policeman showed up at the door. I listened from upstairs.

"'No, Officer, my son ain't home. He's out runnin’ errands for me. He's such a good boy,’ she said. ‘Is there somethin’ I can help you with?'

"The cop told Mama that Lilly's body had been found, and they needed to know my whereabouts the night of her death.

"'Well, I'm sure he was right here with me that night, Officer. He hadn't been feeling well for days. You know, that nasty stomach bug that's been goin’ around.'

"The cop probed further, but Mama knew just how to flash a smile and flip her long red hair just right. Finally, the officer closed his notebook and thanked Mama for her time. He lingered at the door, but I couldn't make out what was being said. They were whispering. Finally, Mama laughed her sweetest southern girl laugh and said, ‘See ya’ later, Officer.’ And that was that.

"We began speaking again that night and I thought things were back to normal. After all, she'd lied for me. So I followed Mama to bed, but she informed me that I was too grown to be sleeping with her anymore. In a week or so, little boys started visiting the house again.

"I hated them. I hated the thought of Mama's soft fingers touching them instead of me. I started looking for a new girlfriend—one that wouldn't be able to resist me ... and my money. There were always girls available if you knew where to look, but none of them turned out to be right for me. But I made sure they didn't touch anyone else ... like Mama was doing.

"Then I found Victoria. I was sure she was the one. She would love me for me, once she got to know me. So I made it my job to get to know everything I could about her. The stakeout tricks and information gathering that my daddy taught me came in handy. With a little microfiche research at the library, I was able to find some important facts about Victoria's life. My poor girl had been in a mental hospital. It appears she suffered years of sexual abuse at the hands of her own father. Her former family doctor had been named, so I called his office to get the particulars on her history.

"It's surprising how willing doctors are to share information with their colleagues. Of course I lied a little when I identified myself as Doctor W.R. LaRue, Victoria Lystner's new psychiatrist. The doctor's receptionist was very flattered when I told her that she had a lovely voice, and I wished that I had such a professional and sexy sounding woman working for me. At that point, she was eager to make sure her boss would sign-off, providing me with a copy of Victoria's records.

"'I might even drop by to pick them up myself, Miss Hart,’ I said. ‘Say around, five? And by the way, what are you doing for dinner tonight?'

"She was willing on all counts, and it was a shame to disappoint her. But I showed up as a courier, sent to pick up the records and deliver a hand written note for Miss Hart. Doctor LaRue sent his sincere regrets for having to cancel their plans. He had an emergency, but he promised to call and reschedule their dinner date.