Man and Superman and Three Other Plays (17 page)

PRAED
[puzzled]
Of course it's very different from Verona. I don't suggest for a moment that—

VIVIE [bitterly] Probably the beauty and romance come to much the same in both places.

PRAED
[completely sobered and much concerned]
My dear Miss Warren: I—[
looking enquiringly at FRANK]
Is anything the matter?

FRANK She thinks your enthusiasm frivolous, Praddy. She's had ever such a serious call.

VIVIE [sharply] Hold your tongue, Frank. Don't be silly.

FRANK [calmly] Do you call this good manners, Praed?

PRAED [
anxious and considerate]
Shall I take him away, Miss Warren? I feel sure we have disturbed you at your work.
[He is about to rise.
]

VIVIE Sit down: I'm not ready to go back to work yet. You both think I have an attack of nerves. Not a bit of it. But there are two subjects I want dropped, if you don't mind. One of them [to FRANK] is love's young dream in any shape or form: the other [to PRAED] is the romance and beauty of life, especially as exemplified by the gaiety of Brussels. You are welcome to any illusions you may have left on these subjects: I have none. If we three are to remain friends, I must be treated as a woman of business, permanently single [
to FRANK]
and permanently unromantic
[to PRAED
]
.

FRANK I also shall remain permanently single until you change your mind. Praddy: change the subject. Be eloquent about something else.

PRAED [
diffidently
] I'm afraid there's nothing else in the world that I can talk about. The Gospel of Art
⁸
is the only one I can preach. I know Miss Warren is a great devotee of the Gospel of Getting On; but we can't discuss that without hurting your feelings, Frank, since you are determined not to get on.

FRANK Oh, don't mind my feelings. Give me some improving advice by all means; it does me ever so much good. Have another try to make a successful man of me, Viv. Come: let's have it all: energy, thrift, foresight, self-respect, character. Don't you hate people who have no character, Viv?

VIVIE [wincing] Oh, stop: stop: let us have no more of that horrible cant. Mr. Praed: if there are really only those two gospels in the world, we had better all kill ourselves; for the same taint is in both, through and through.

FRANK
[looking critically at her]
There is a touch of poetry about you to-day, Viv, which has hitherto been lacking.

PRAED
[remonstrating]
My dear Frank: aren't you a little unsympathetic ?

VIVIE
[merciless to herself
] No: it's good for me. It keeps me from being sentimental.

FRANK
[bantering her]
Checks your strong natural propensity that way, don't it?

VIVIE [
almost hysterically
] Oh, yes: go on: don't spare me. I was sentimental for one moment in my life—beautifully sentimental—by moonlight; and now—

FRANK
[quickly]
I say, Viv: take care. Don't give yourself away.

VIVIE Oh, do you think Mr. Praed does not know all about my mother?
[Turning on PRAED.]
You had better have told me that morning, Mr. Praed. You are very old-fashioned in your delicacies, after all.

PRAED Surely it is you who are a little old-fashioned in your prejudices, Miss Warren. I feel bound to tell you, speaking as an artist, and believing that the most intimate human relationships are far beyond and above the scope of the law, that though I know that your mother is an unmarried woman, I do not respect her the less on that account. I respect her more.

FRANK [
airily
] Hear, hear!

VIVIE [
staring at him
] Is that all you know?

PRAED Certainly that is all.

VIVIE Then you neither of you know anything. Your guesses are innocence itself compared to the truth.

PRAED
[startled and indignant, preserving his politeness with an effort
] I hope not.
[More emphatically.
] I hope not, Miss Warren. [FRANK's
face shows that he does not share PRAED's incredulity. VIVIE utters an exclamation of impatience. PRAED's chivalry droops before their conviction. He adds, slowly]
If there is anything worse—that is, anything else—are you sure you are right to tell us, Miss Warren?

VIVIE I am sure that if I had the courage I should spend the rest of my life in telling it to everybody—in stamping and branding it into them until they felt their share in its shame and horror as I feel mine. There is nothing I despise more than the wicked convention that protects these things by forbidding a woman to mention them. And yet I can't tell you. The two infamous words that describe what my mother is are ringing in my ears and struggling on my tongue; but I can't utter them: my instinct is too strong for me. [
She buries her face in her hands. The two men, astonished, stare at one another and then at her. She raises her head again desperately and takes a sheet of paper and a pen
.] Here: let me draft you a prospectus.

FRANK Oh, she's mad. Do you hear, Viv, mad. Come: pull yourself together.

VIVIE You shall see. [
She writes
.] “Paid up capital: not less than £40,000 standing in the name of Sir George Crofts, Baronet, the chief shareholder.” What comes next?—I forget. Oh, yes: “Premises at Brussels, Berlin, Vienna and Buda-Pesth. Managing director: Mrs. Warren;” and now don't let us forget her qualifications : the two words.
^u
There! [
She pushes the paper to them.]
Oh, no: don't read it: don‘t!
[She snatches it back and tears it to pieces; then seizes her head in her hands and hides her face on the table. FRANK, who has watched the writing carefully over her shoulder, and opened his eyes very widely at it, takes a card from his pocket; scribbles a couple of words; and silently hands it to PRAED, who looks at it with amazement. FRANK then remorsefully stoops over VIVIE.]

FRANK [
whispering tenderly
] Viv, dear: that's all right. I read what you wrote: so did Praddy. We understand. And we remain, as this leaves us at present, yours ever so devotedly. [
VIVIE slowly raises her head.]

PRAED We do, indeed, Miss Warren. I declare you are the most splendidly courageous woman I ever met. [
This sentimental compliment braces VIVIE. She throws it away from her with an impatient shake, and forces herself to stand up, though not without some support from the table.]

FRANK Don't stir, Viv, if you don't want to. Take it easy.

VIVIE Thank you. You can always depend on me for two things, not to cry and not to faint. [
She moves a few steps towards the door of the inner rooms, and stops close to PRAED to say]
I shall need much more courage than that when I tell my mother that we have come to the parting of the ways. Now I must go into the next room for a moment to make myself neat again, if you don't mind.

PRAED Shall we go away?

VIVIE No: I'll be back presently. Only for a moment. [
She goes into the other room, PRAED opening the door for her.
]

PRAED What an amazing revelation! I'm extremely disappointed in Crofts: I am indeed.

FRANK I'm not in the least. I feel he's perfectly accounted for at last. But what a facer
^v
for me, Praddy! I can't marry her now.

PRAED [
sternly
] Frank! [
The two look at one another, FRANK unruffled, PRAED deeply indignant.
Let me tell you, Gardner, that if you desert her now you will behave very despicably.

FRANK Good old Praddy! Ever chivalrous! But you mistake: it's not the moral aspect of the case: it's the money aspect. I really can't bring myself to touch the old woman's money now!

PRAED And was that what you were going to marry on?

FRANK What else?
I
haven't any money, nor the smallest turn for making it. If I married Viv now she would have to support me; and I should cost her more than I am worth.

PRAED But surely a clever, bright fellow like you can make something by your own brains.

FRANK Oh, yes, a little.
[He takes out his money again
.] I made all that yesterday—in an hour and a half. But I made it in a highly speculative business. No, dear Praddy: even if Jessie and Georgina marry millionaires and the governor dies after cutting them off with a shilling, I shall have only four hundred a year. And he won't die until he's three score and ten: he hasn't originality enough.
⁹
I shall be on short allowance for the next twenty years. No short allowance for Viv, if I can help it. I withdraw gracefully and leave the field to the gilded youth of England. So that's settled. I shan't worry her about it: I'll just send her a little note after we're gone. She'll understand.

PRAED
[grasping his hand]
Good fellow, Frank! I heartily beg your pardon. But must you never see her again?

FRANK Never see her again! Hang it all, be reasonable. I shall come along as often as possible, and be her brother. I cannot understand the absurd consequences you romantic people expect from the most ordinary transactions.
[A knock at the door.]
I wonder who this is. Would you mind opening the door? If it's a client it will look more respectable than if I appeared.

PRAED Certainly.
[He goes to the door and opens it. FRANK sits down in VIVIE's chair to scribble a note
.] My dear Kitty: come in, come in. [
MRS
. WARREN comes in, looking
apprehensively round for VIVIE. She has done her best to make herself matronly and dignified. The brilliant hat is replaced by a sober bonnet, and the gay blouse covered by a costly black silk mantle. She is pitiably anxious and ill at ease
—
evidently panic-stricken.
]

MRS. WARREN
[to FRANK]
What! You're here, are you?

FRANK
[turning in his chair from his writing, but not rising]
^w
Here, and charmed to see you. You come like a breath of spring.

MRS. WARREN Oh, get out with your nonsense.
[In a low voice.]
Where's Vivie?
[FRANK points expressively to the door of the inner room, but says nothing.
]

MRS. WARREN
[sitting down suddenly and almost beginning to cry
] Praddy: won't she see me, don't you think?

PRAED My dear Kitty: don't distress yourself. Why should she not?

MRS. WARREN Oh, you never can see why not: you're too amiable. Mr. Frank:
^x
did she say anything to you?

FRANK [
folding his note]
She must see you, i f
[very expressively
] you wait until she comes in.

MRS. WARREN [
frightened
] Why shouldn't I wait? [
FRANK looks quizzically at her; puts his note carefully on the ink-bottle, so that VIVIE cannot fail to find it when next she dips her pen; then rises and devotes his attention entirely to her.]

FRANK My dear Mrs. Warren: suppose you were a sparrow—ever so tiny and pretty a sparrow hopping in the roadway—and you saw a steam roller coming in your direction, would you wait for it?

MRS. WARREN Oh, don't bother me with your sparrows. What did she run away from Haslemere like that for?

FRANK I'm afraid she'll tell you if you wait until she comes back.

MRS. WARREN Do you want me to go away?

FRANK No. I always want you to stay. But I advise you to go away.

MRS. WARREN What! And never see her again!

FRANK Precisely.

MRS. WARREN
[crying again]
Praddy: don't let him be cruel to me.
[She hastily checks her tears and wipes her eyes.]
She'll be so angry if she sees I've been crying.

FRANK [
with a touch of real compassion in his airy tenderness]
You know that Praddy is the soul of kindness, Mrs. Warren. Praddy: what do you say? Go or stay?

PRAED
[to MRS. WARREN
] I really should be very sorry to cause you unnecessary pain; but I think perhaps you had better not wait. The fact is—[
VIVIE is heard at the inner door.]

FRANK Sh! Too late. She's coming.

MRS. WARREN Don't tell her I was crying. [
VIVIE comes in. She
stops gravely on seeing MRS. WARREN, who greets her with hysterical cheerfulness
.] Well, dearie. So here you are at last.

VIVIE I am glad you have come: I want to speak to you. You said you were going, Frank, I think.

FRANK Yes. Will you come with me, Mrs. Warren? What do you say to a trip to Richmond, and the theatre in the evening? There is safety in Richmond. No steam roller there.

VIVIE Nonsense, Frank. My mother will stay here.

MRS. WARREN [
scared
] I don't know: perhaps I'd better go. We're disturbing you at your work.

VIVIE [
with
quiet decision] Mr. Praed: please take Frank away. Sit down, mother.
[MRS. WARREN obeys helplessly.]

PRAED Come, Frank. Good-bye, Miss Vivie.

VIVIE [
shaking hands]
Good-bye. A pleasant trip.

PRAED Thank you: thank you. I hope so.

FRANK [
to MRS. WARREN]
Good-bye: you'd ever so much better have taken my advice. [
He shakes hands with her. Then airily to VIVIE
] Bye-bye, Viv.

VIVIE Good-bye.
[He goes out gaily without shaking hands with her.
PRAED follows.
VIVIE, composed and extremely grave, sits down in Honoria's chair, and waits for her mother to speak. MRS. WARREN, dreading a pause, loses no time in beginning
.]

MRS. WARREN Well, Vivie, what did you go away like that for without saying a word to me? How could you do such a thing! And what have you done to poor George? I wanted him to come with me; but he shuffled out of it. I could see that he was quite afraid of you. Only fancy: he wanted me not to come. As if [trembling] I should be afraid of you, dear. [
VIVIE's gravity deepens.
] But of course I told him it was all settled and comfortable between us, and that we were on the best of terms.
[She breaks down
.] Vivie: what's the meaning of this? [
She produces a paper from an envelope; comes to the table; and hands it across
.] I got it from the bank this morning.