Man and Superman and Three Other Plays (55 page)
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Authors: George Bernard Shaw
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ANN Oh, surely, surely! Octavius: did you speak to her?
OCTAVIUS She won't tell us anything. She won't make any arrangement until she has consulted somebody. It can't be anybody else than the scoundrel who has betrayed her.
TANNER
[to Octavius
] Well, let her consult him. He will be glad enough to have her sent abroad. Where is the difficulty?
[to Octavius
] Well, let her consult him. He will be glad enough to have her sent abroad. Where is the difficulty?
MISS RAMSDEN
[taking the answer out of OCTAVIUS's mouth]
The difficulty, Mr. Jack, is that when I offered to help her I didn't offer to become her accomplice in her wickedness. She either pledges her word never to see that man again, or else she finds some new friends; and the sooner the better.
[taking the answer out of OCTAVIUS's mouth]
The difficulty, Mr. Jack, is that when I offered to help her I didn't offer to become her accomplice in her wickedness. She either pledges her word never to see that man again, or else she finds some new friends; and the sooner the better.
The parlormaid appears at the door. ANN hastily resumes her seat, and looks as unconcerned as possible. OCTAVIUS instinctively imitates her.
THE MAID The cab is at the door, maâam.
MISS RAMSDEN What cab?
THE MAID For Miss Robinson.
MISS RAMSDEN Oh!
[Recovering herself
] All right.
[The maid withdraws].
She has sent for a cab.
[Recovering herself
] All right.
[The maid withdraws].
She has sent for a cab.
TANNER
I
wanted to send for that cab half an hour ago.
I
wanted to send for that cab half an hour ago.
MISS RAMSDEN I am glad she understands the position she has placed herself in.
RAMSDEN I don't like her going away in this fashion, Susan. We had better not do anything harsh.
OCTAVIUS No: thank you again and again; but Miss Ramsden is quite right. Violet cannot expect to stay.
ANN Hadn't you better go with her, Tavy?
OCTAVIUS She won't have me .
MISS RAMSDEN Of course she won't. She's going straight to that man.
TANNER As a natural result of her virtuous reception here.
RAMSDEN
[much troubled]
There, Susan! You hear! and there's some truth in it. I wish you could reconcile it with your principles to be a little patient with this poor girl. She's very young; and there's a time for everything.
[much troubled]
There, Susan! You hear! and there's some truth in it. I wish you could reconcile it with your principles to be a little patient with this poor girl. She's very young; and there's a time for everything.
MISS RAMSDEN Oh, she will get all the sympathy she wants from the men. I'm surprised at you, Roebuck.
TANNER So am I, Ramsden, most favorably.
VIOLET appears at the door. She is as impenitent
and
self-possessed a young lady as one would desire to see among the best behaved of her sex. Her small head and tiny resolute mouth and chin; her haughty crispness of speech and trimness of carriage; the ruthless elegance of her equipment, which includes a very smart hat with a dead bird in it, mark a personality which is as formidable as it is exquisitely pretty. She is not a siren, like ANN: admiration comes to her without any compulsion or even interest on her part; besides, there is some fun in ANN, but in this woman none, perhaps no mercy either: if anything restrains her, it is intelligence and pride, not compassion. Her voice might be the voice of a schoolmistress addressing a class of girls who had disgraced themselves, as she proceeds with complete composure and some disgust to say what she has come to say.
and
self-possessed a young lady as one would desire to see among the best behaved of her sex. Her small head and tiny resolute mouth and chin; her haughty crispness of speech and trimness of carriage; the ruthless elegance of her equipment, which includes a very smart hat with a dead bird in it, mark a personality which is as formidable as it is exquisitely pretty. She is not a siren, like ANN: admiration comes to her without any compulsion or even interest on her part; besides, there is some fun in ANN, but in this woman none, perhaps no mercy either: if anything restrains her, it is intelligence and pride, not compassion. Her voice might be the voice of a schoolmistress addressing a class of girls who had disgraced themselves, as she proceeds with complete composure and some disgust to say what she has come to say.
VIOLET I have only looked in to tell Miss Ramsden that she will find her birthday present to me, the filagree bracelet, in the housekeeper's room.
TANNER Do come in, Violet, and talk to us sensibly.
VIOLET Thank you: I have had quite enough of the family conversation this morning. So has your mother, Ann: she has gone home crying. But at all events, I have found out what some of my pretended friends are worth. Good bye.
TANNER No, no: one moment. I have something to say which I beg you to hear.
[She looks at him without the slightest curiosity, but waits, apparently as much to finish getting her glove on as to hear what
he has to say]. I am altogether on your side in this matter. I congratulate you, with the sincerest respect, on having the courage to do what you have done. You are entirely in the right; and the family is entirely in the wrong.
[She looks at him without the slightest curiosity, but waits, apparently as much to finish getting her glove on as to hear what
he has to say]. I am altogether on your side in this matter. I congratulate you, with the sincerest respect, on having the courage to do what you have done. You are entirely in the right; and the family is entirely in the wrong.
Sensation. ANN and MISS RAMSDEN rise and turn towards the two. VIOLET, more surprised than any of the others, forgets her glove, and comes forward into the middle of the room, both puzzled and displeased. OCTAVIUS alone does not move or raise his head: he is overwhelmed with shame.
ANN [
pleading to TANNER to be sensible]
Jack!
pleading to TANNER to be sensible]
Jack!
MISS RAMSDEN
[outraged]
Well, I must say!
[outraged]
Well, I must say!
VIOLET [
sharply to
TANNER] Who told you?
sharply to
TANNER] Who told you?
TANNER Why, Ramsden and Tavy of course. Why should they not?
VIOLET But they don't know.
TANNER Don't know what?
VIOLET They don't know that I am in the right, I mean.
TANNER Oh, they know it in their hearts, though they think themselves bound to blame you by their silly superstitions about morality and propriety and so forth. But I know, and the whole world really knows, though it dare not say so, that you were right to follow your instinct; that vitality and bravery are the greatest qualities a woman can have, and motherhood her solemn initiation into womanhood; and that the fact of your not being legally married matters not one scrap either to your own worth or to our real regard for you.
VIOLET
[flushing with indignation
] Oh! You think me a wicked woman, like the rest. You think I have not only been vile, but that I share your abominable opinions. Miss Ramsden: I have borne your hard words because I knew you would be sorry for them when you found out the truth. But I won't bear such a horrible insult as to be complimented by Jack on being one of the wretches of whom he approves. I have kept my marriage a secret for my husband's sake. But now I claim my right as a married woman not to be insulted.
[flushing with indignation
] Oh! You think me a wicked woman, like the rest. You think I have not only been vile, but that I share your abominable opinions. Miss Ramsden: I have borne your hard words because I knew you would be sorry for them when you found out the truth. But I won't bear such a horrible insult as to be complimented by Jack on being one of the wretches of whom he approves. I have kept my marriage a secret for my husband's sake. But now I claim my right as a married woman not to be insulted.
OCTAVIUS
[raising his head with inexpressible relief
] You are married!
[raising his head with inexpressible relief
] You are married!
VIOLET Yes; and I think you might have guessed it. What business had you all to take it for granted that I had no right to wear my wedding ring? Not one of you even asked me: I cannot forget that.
TANNER
[in twits]
I am utterly crushed. I meant well. I apologizeâabjectly apologize.
[in twits]
I am utterly crushed. I meant well. I apologizeâabjectly apologize.
VIOLET I hope you will be more careful in future about the things you say. Of course one does not take them seriously; but they are very disagreeable, and rather in bad taste, I think.
TANNER
[bowing to the storm]
I have no defence: I shall know better in future than to take any woman's part. We have all disgraced ourselves in your eyes, I am afraid, except Ann. She befriended you. For Ann's sake, forgive us.
[bowing to the storm]
I have no defence: I shall know better in future than to take any woman's part. We have all disgraced ourselves in your eyes, I am afraid, except Ann. She befriended you. For Ann's sake, forgive us.
VIOLET Yes: Ann has been very kind; but then Ann knew. TANNER Oh!
MISS RAMSDEN [
stiffly
] And who, pray, is the gentleman who does not acknowledge his wife?
stiffly
] And who, pray, is the gentleman who does not acknowledge his wife?
VIOLET
[promptly]
That is my business, Miss Ramsden, and not yours. I have my reasons for keeping my marriage a secret for the present.
[promptly]
That is my business, Miss Ramsden, and not yours. I have my reasons for keeping my marriage a secret for the present.
RAMSDEN All I can say is that we are extremely sorry, Violet. I am shocked to think of how we have treated you.
OCTAVIUS [
awkwardly
] I beg your pardon, Violet. I can say no more.
awkwardly
] I beg your pardon, Violet. I can say no more.
MISS RAMSDEN
[still loth to surrender]
Of course what you say puts a very different complexion on the matter. All the same, I owe it to myselfâ
[still loth to surrender]
Of course what you say puts a very different complexion on the matter. All the same, I owe it to myselfâ
VIOLET
[cutting her short]
You owe me an apology, Miss Ramsden: that's what you owe both to yourself and to me. If you were a married woman you would not like sitting in the housekeeper's room and being treated like a naughty child by young girls and old ladies without any serious duties and responsibilities.
[cutting her short]
You owe me an apology, Miss Ramsden: that's what you owe both to yourself and to me. If you were a married woman you would not like sitting in the housekeeper's room and being treated like a naughty child by young girls and old ladies without any serious duties and responsibilities.
TANNER Don't hit us when we're down, Violet. We seem to have made fools of ourselves; but really it was you who made fools of us.
VIOLET It was no business of yours, Jack, in any case.
TANNER No business of mine! Why, Ramsden as good as accused me of being the unknown gentleman.
RAMSDEN makes a frantic demonstration; but VIOLET's cool keen anger extinguishes it.
VIOLET You! Oh, how infamous! how abominable! how disgracefully you have all been talking about me! If my husband knew it he would never let me speak to any of you again.
[To RAMSDEN]
I think you might have spared me that, at least.
[To RAMSDEN]
I think you might have spared me that, at least.
RAMSDEN But I assure you I neverâat least it is a monstrous perversion of something I said thatâ
MISS RAMSDEN You needn't apologize, Roebuck. She brought it all on herself. It is for her to apologize for having deceived us.
VIOLET I can make allowances for you, Miss Ramsden: you cannot understand how I feel on this subject, though I should have expected rather better taste from people of greater experience. However, I quite feel that you have all placed yourselves in a very painful position; and the most truly considerate thing for me to do is to go at once. Good morning.
She goes, leaving them staring.
MISS RAMSDEN Well, I must say!
RAMSDEN [
plaintively
] I don't think she is quite fair to us.
plaintively
] I don't think she is quite fair to us.
TANNER You must cower before the wedding ring like the rest of us, Ramsden. The cup of our ignominy is full.
ACT II
On the carriage drive in the park of a country house near Richmond a motor car has broken down. It stands in front of a clump of trees round which the drive sweeps to the house, which is partly visible through them: indeed Tanner, standing in the drive with the car on his right hand, could get an unobstructed view of the west corner of the house on his left were he not far too much interested in a pair of supine legs in blue serge trousers which protrude from beneath the machine. He is watching them intently with bent back and hands supported on his knees. His leathern overcoat and peaked cap proclaim him one of the dismounted passengers.
THE LEGS Aha! I got him.
TANNER All right now?
THE LEGS Aw right now.
TANNER stoops and takes the legs by the ankles, drawing their owner forth like a wheelbarrow, walking on his hands, with a hammer in his mouth. He is a young man in a neat suit of blue serge, clean shaven, dark eyed, square fingered, with short well brushed black hair and rather irregular sceptically turned eyebrows. When he is manipulating the car his movements are swift and sudden, yet attentive and deliberate. With TANNER and TANNER's friends his manner is not in the least deferential, but cool and reticent, keeping them quite effectually at a distance whilst giving them no excuse for complaining of him. Nevertheless he has a vigilant eye on them always, and that, too, rather cynically, like a man who knows the world well from its seamy side. He speaks slowly and with a touch of sarcasm; and as he does not at all affect the gentleman in his speech, it may be inferred that his smart appearance is a mark of respect to himself and his own class, not to that which employs him.
He now gets into the car to test his machinery and put his cap and overcoat on again. TANNER takes off his leathern overcoat and pitches it into the car. THE CHAUFFEUR (or automobilist or motoreer or whatever England may presently decide to call him) looks round inquiringly in the act of stowing away his hammer.
7
7
THE CHAUFFEUR Had enough of it, eh?
TANNER I may as well walk to the house and stretch my legs and calm my nerves a little.
[Looking
at his watch]
I suppose you know that we have come from Hyde Park Corner to Richmond in twenty-one minutes.
[Looking
at his watch]
I suppose you know that we have come from Hyde Park Corner to Richmond in twenty-one minutes.
THE CHAUFFEUR I'd ha done it under fifteen if I'd had a clear road all the way.
TANNER Why do you do it? Is it for love of sport or for the fun of terrifying your unfortunate employer?
THE CHAUFFEUR What are you afraid of?
TANNER The police, and breaking my neck.
THE CHAUFFEUR Well, if you like easy going, you can take a bus, you know. It's cheaper. You pay me to save your time and give you the value of your thousand pound car.
[He sits down calmly] .
[He sits down calmly] .
TANNER I am the slave of that car and of you too. I dream of the accursed thing at night.
THE CHAUFFEUR You'll get over that. If you're going up to the house, may I ask how long you're goin to stay there? Because if you mean to put in the whole morning talkin to the ladies, I'll put the car in the stables and make myself comfortable. If not, I'll keep the car on the go about here til you come.
TANNER Better wait here. We shan't be long. There's a young American gentleman, a Mr. Malone, who is driving Mr. Robinson down in his new American steam car.
THE CHAUFFEUR [
springing up and coming hastily out of the car to TANNER]
American steam car! Wot! racin us down from London!
springing up and coming hastily out of the car to TANNER]
American steam car! Wot! racin us down from London!
TANNER Perhaps they're here already.
THE CHAUFFEUR If I'd known it!
[With deep reproach]
Why didn't you tell me, Mr. Tanner?
[With deep reproach]
Why didn't you tell me, Mr. Tanner?
TANNER Because I've been told that this car is capable of 84 miles an hour; and I already know what you are capable of when there is a rival car on the road. No, Henry: there are things it is not good for you to know; and this was one of them. However, cheer up: we are going to have a day after your own heart. The American is to take Mr. Robinson and his sister and Miss Whitefield. We are to take Miss Rhoda.
THE CHAUFFEUR
[consoled, and musing on another matter]
That's Miss Whitefield's sister, isn't it?
[consoled, and musing on another matter]
That's Miss Whitefield's sister, isn't it?
TANNER Yes.
THE CHAUFFEUR And Miss Whitefield herself is goin in the other car? Not with you?
TANNER Why the devil should she come with me? Mr. Robinson will be in the other car.
[THE CHAUFFEUR looks at TANNER with cool incredulity, and turns to the car, whistling a popular air softly to himself. TANNER, a little annoyed, is about to pursue the subject when he hears the footsteps of OCTAVIUS on the gravel. OCTAVIUS is coming from the house, dressed for motoring, but without his overcoat].
We've lost the race, thank Heaven: here's Mr. Robinson. Well, Tavy, is the steam car a success?
[THE CHAUFFEUR looks at TANNER with cool incredulity, and turns to the car, whistling a popular air softly to himself. TANNER, a little annoyed, is about to pursue the subject when he hears the footsteps of OCTAVIUS on the gravel. OCTAVIUS is coming from the house, dressed for motoring, but without his overcoat].
We've lost the race, thank Heaven: here's Mr. Robinson. Well, Tavy, is the steam car a success?
OCTAVIUS I think so. We came from Hyde Park Corner here in seventeen minutes. [THE
CHAUFFEUR, furious, kicks the car with a groan of vexation].
How long were you?
CHAUFFEUR, furious, kicks the car with a groan of vexation].
How long were you?
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