Authors: Diana Palmer
But she wasn’t fooled. She saw the worry on his face, the indecision he couldn’t hide. He’d gone over the edge with her and now he was sorry about it, she could tell. He was going to make the best of it, but how was she going to be able to live with a man who was forcing himself to act contented? It was a glimpse of a nightmare.
The one nice thing about the morning was that Erickson was
nowhere in sight, in either of his cars. But she’d been overly relieved one time too many, so she wasn’t taking anything for granted. He might be hiding nearby, waiting for her to relax.
Lang stopped the car at her office door and turned to her. “Don’t let your guard down,” he said gently. “Just because we don’t see him doesn’t mean that he isn’t around.”
“I was just thinking the same thing,” she replied. Her eyes searched his. “I’m sorry,” she said gently.
He frowned. “About what?”
She shrugged a thin shoulder and forced a smile. “You aren’t ready,” she said. “You thought you were, but you aren’t. I was as much to blame as you were for what happened, so you don’t need to feel guilty. You don’t need to feel obligated to marry me, either. We were careful. There won’t be any…consequences.”
He stared at her with conflicting emotions. “Are you sure you don’t want to marry me, Kirry?” he asked slowly.
The way he phrased it said everything. She didn’t dare cry or look regretful. “I enjoyed what we did,” she said. “But when the newness wore off, we’d still be stuck with each other. You have your job and I have mine, and marriage isn’t the end of the rainbow anymore. Maybe we ‘d better think about this before we jump into it.”
“That’s exactly how I feel,” he said, and looked relieved. “But we can still be engaged, while we’re thinking about it. Okay?”
Wimp, she told herself. “Okay,” she agreed too readily, and then grimaced at her own scramble for crumbs.
“We can drive down and have supper with Connie and Bob. I’ll call them.”
“I’d enjoy seeing them again.”
“I’ll pick you up here after work. Be careful.”
She nodded, hesitating weakly.
His eyes began to glitter. “Want me to kiss you?” he murmured, teasing.
She started to deny it, but the irony of the situation made her smile. “Yes,” she said.
He smiled. “I like that honesty,” he said, his voice husky and deep. “I want to kiss you, too.”
She moved closer and tilted her face up for him. He framed it in his big hands and bent, drawing his lips softly over her own. But the passion between them was too raw and new to allow for tenderness just yet, and very quickly, he had her close in his arms and was kissing the breath out of her. She moaned, and he came to his senses.
“I can’t take much of that,” he said with graveyard humor. He took out his handkerchief and removed the smeared lipstick from around her mouth and then his own. “I’ll come by and take you out to lunch, if you’re free.”
“I’m not,” she said miserably. “I have to meet some of Lorna’s group for a business lunch.”
He sighed. “Okay. Another time.”
She nodded, reaching for the door.
He stayed her hand. “I haven’t given Lorna any messages for you,” he said quietly. “If she starts handing out tidbits about me, take them with a grain of salt, will you?”
She smiled over her shoulder. “Okay.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“Sure.” She got out and walked into the building, and had to force herself not to look back. She’d made her bed. Now she was going to have to lie in it.
“You’re late,” Mack grumbled the minute she walked in the door. “Lorna McLane has been on the phone ten times asking where you were. She couldn’t seem to locate our security chief, either.” He looked at Kirry suspiciously. “Do you know where he is?”
“He was with me,” she said, fighting a blush.
Mack hesitated. “Oh.”
“You needn’t look so shocked. Lang and I are engaged,” she added.
His face relaxed into a beaming smile. “Congratulations.”
“Those might be a little premature. We’re not planning an elopement.”
“You never know,” he replied. “Lang strikes me as an impulsive man.”
“He strikes most people that way. But he’s actually very cautious,” she said, remembering him with the familiarity of years. “He’s very methodical. He always thinks first.”
She remembered that when she was alone in her office. Lang was extremely cautious, in fact. He never leaped before he looked, or let his emotions lead him around. So why had he let himself go with her this morning? Despite the fact that he took precautions, it was totally unlike him to leap in without consid
ering the consequences. At the very least, Kirry’s feelings for him would lead her to expect commitment from a man who seduced her. He knew that. Had he really lost his head? Or had he changed enough that he might actually want to marry her?
She didn’t have time to ponder the question for very long. Lorna McLane called again, and she was fuming.
“Where have you been, Miss Campbell?” she asked in a scathing tone. “I really don’t have all day to chase you down. Do you want this account or not?”
Kirry bit her tongue to keep from telling the truth. “Certainly we want it, Miss McLane,” she said in a pacifying tone. “I’m sorry, I was unavoidably detained getting to work this morning.”
“By Lang?” came the poisonous reply.
Kirry’s hand tightened on the receiver. “If you must know, yes,” she replied curtly.
“You little tramp,” Lorna said huskily.
“Lang and I are engaged to be married, Miss McLane,” Kirry informed her. “What we do in our private lives is hardly any of your business!”
There was an indrawn breath and a long pause, with audible breathing. “He wouldn’t…he isn’t the marrying kind! You’re lying!”
“If you think so, you’re at liberty to ask him.”
“I’ve called him a number of times, but he’s never around. I guess he’s been with you.”
“I’ve had some problems here. Lang has been teaching me self-defense,” she returned.
“And a few other tricks, I’ll bet. He’s a wonderful lover, isn’t he?” she drawled. “But wait until you get him to the altar before you start looking for congratulations. He was engaged to me, once, too. He doesn’t want children, did you know?” she added with a poisonous note in her voice. “He has to be free to walk out if he wants to, so kids are out of the question.”
“He wants children. We both do,” she said hesitantly.
“Really? Pin him down, dear. I dare you.”
“Miss McLane, this is really…”
“I’ll expect to see you at lunch,” Lorna continued unabashed. “I’ve asked the Lancasters to join us while we discuss the details of this promotion. I would really prefer to have your colleague, Mack, work on it. I find that women aren’t quite as cooperative as men when I make suggestions.”
I’m not surprised
, Kirry thought, but she didn’t dare say it. She was trying to picture Miss McLane wrapped from toes to eyes in green satin and pinned with safety pins. It kept her sane.
“I’m sure I’d have no objections to Mack replacing me,” Kirry volunteered, thinking that Mack would kill her for stepping down. He had no affection for Lorna.
“Then, we’ll be able to settle this amicably. I’m so glad.”
“I’ll see you at lunch, then.”
“Indeed you will,” Lorna purred, and made it sound like a threat.
L
orna had a surprise for Kirry at lunch. Not only had she insisted that the Lancasters be in attendance, but Lang was there, too, looking irritable and reluctant.
“I’m sure you won’t mind if Lang joins us,” Lorna told Kirry privately. “I thought you might like the Lancasters to share in the news of your engagement.”
She moved away in a cloud of expensive perfume to greet the dark, elegantly dressed Lancasters before Kirry could reply. “I know that I won’t be giving away any terrible secrets if I tell you that Lang and Miss Campbell are to be married,” Lorna told the Lancasters, smiling.
Kirry wanted to tell her that feathers were sticking out of her mouth, but she didn’t dare. She smiled instead, although she couldn’t keep it from looking strained.
“Is this true?” Mrs. Lancaster asked, delighted.
Lang straightened. He glared at Lorna and moved closer to
Kirry, taking her hand in his. “Yes, it is,” he said, but he didn’t sound like a happy bridegroom.
“Well, we must help with the arrangements for the wedding,” Mrs. Lancaster continued, and her husband smiled his agreement. “When is it to be?”
“We haven’t set a date,” Lang said stiffly.
“Surely you plan to make it soon, Lang, dear?” Lorna mused, leaning back to smile at him with hatred in her eyes.
“There’s no rush,” he said firmly. “Kirry and I have plenty of time.”
Kirry knew that he didn’t like to be pushed, but there was more to it than that. He was so obviously reluctant to be pinned down on a date that it was embarrassing.
“That’s right,” Kirry said quickly, backing him up only because she didn’t like Lorna. “We plan on a long engagement.”
“I see,” Mr. Lancaster replied with narrowed eyes.
“Well, if you’re not planning to start a family right away, I suppose there’s no hurry about it,” Lorna purred. “How many children are you going to have, Lang?” she asked. “Two or three?”
Lang’s face went rigid. “We haven’t discussed that.”
“Surely you want a son?” Lorna persisted.
He glared at her and then deliberately glanced at his watch.
“We’d better get started,” Mr. Lancaster said, taking the hint. “We all have duties to perform. Now what is this about switching the service on your account, Miss McLane?” he asked politely.
“It’s nothing against Miss Campbell,” Lorna assured him, “but
I think Mack would be more…accessible. I’ve spent the entire morning trying to track down Miss Campbell, who seems to be celebrating her engagement with a little, shall we say, excessive enthusiasm? You know how the job can suffer when people have their heads in the clouds,” she added with a silvery little laugh.
Why, you vicious shrew, Kirry was thinking. In one stroke, Lorna had managed to make her look like an incompetent airhead.
“I was late to work, yes,” Kirry said angrily. “But it was hardly dereliction of duty…!”
“Miss Campbell,” Mr. Lancaster said sharply, and smiled pointedly. “ We wouldn’t want to alienate Miss McLane, now, would we?”
Kirry flushed. “Excuse me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t available this morning, and I can assure you that in the future…”
“In the future, I would prefer to deal with Mack,” she said, smiling at her warmly. “He and I will get along very well. And this account is
so
important….” She let her voice trail away.
Kirry was being railroaded, and the Lancasters were taking it all in without question. Mrs. Lancaster’s friendship with Lorna obviously inclined her to believe whatever the former model told her. She gave Kirry a speaking glance.
“Indeed the account is important,” Mrs. Lancaster said coolly. “I’m sure that Miss Campbell won’t mind letting Mack take it over.”
The inference was that she’d better
not
mind. Kirry was losing ground and she didn’t know how to regain it.
“Of course I don’t mind,” she said diplomatically. “Miss McLane’s satisfaction must be our first priority.”
Lorna inclined her head graciously. “I’m delighted that you’re willing to cooperate. Heaven forbid that I should cause any trouble. But this promotion must be perfect. And it will lead to others. I have many connections in the fashion industry.”
“I’m aware of that, my dear,” Mrs. Lancaster said brightly. “Your influence is far-reaching, indeed.”
Mr. Lancaster was watching Kirry closely. “You have other accounts to service, I presume?” he asked her curtly. It was the first time he’d taken any real interest in what she did for his company.
“I’ve been working on a promotional campaign for a new chain of soup and salad bars,” Kirry told him. “The first television ad runs tonight, in fact, at eight.”
“We’ll be sure to watch,” he informed her.
Kirry was confident that the campaign would be successful, and she wasn’t worried, despite the faint threat in Lancaster’s voice. She was obviously on trial now, thanks to Lorna’s dirty work, but she wouldn’t cower. She held her head up through the rest of the meeting and smiled as if she hadn’t a care in the world.
“I hope I’ll be invited to the wedding,” Lorna told Lang as the meeting broke up. “And the first christening, of course.”
Lang didn’t smile. “That was a low thing to do,” he said quietly. “Whatever vendettas you have against me shouldn’t extend to Kirry. She’s never done anything to hurt you.”
“No?” Lorna’s eyes glittered. “She took you away from me, didn’t she?”
“No woman can take a man who isn’t willing,” he informed her. “You and I are water and wax. We’re too different to make a pair.”
“You wanted me!” she accused.
He nodded. “You were an important part of my life for a while. I hope I was as important to you. But I never told you any lies, or made any promises, and you damned well know it.”
She was barely in control of her temper. She glanced at Kirry, talking to Mrs. Lancaster, and took a sharp breath. “She looks slept with,” she said bluntly, looking up in time to catch Lang’s expression. “So that’s it. Poor little compromised virgin. Did you feel obligated to offer her marriage in exchange, Lang?” she asked. “How interesting. Do you know what sort of people the Lancasters are? They’re fundamentalists.”
“Are you making threats, Lorna?” he asked.
“Why, yes, I am,” she said with a smile. “Either you break that engagement or I’ll give the Lancasters an earful about her lack of morals. And when I get through, she won’t have a job…or a reference. You do know what I mean, don’t you, dear?”
She walked away, smiling. Lang stared after her with murderous eyes. He hadn’t dreamed that she could be so spiteful. He’d taken her out to make Kirry jealous, but he hadn’t done it in any spiteful or obvious way. For all Lorna knew, he was simply renewing an old acquaintance. Only Lorna had taken it seriously, and she wanted to play for keeps. Now Lang was between a rock
and a hard place. Either he had to marry Kirry immediately or give her up, because if Lorna carried through with her threat, Kirry would literally be asked to sacrifice her career. Her job meant a lot to her. He knew too well how much careers mattered to some women….
“You’re very quiet,” Kirry remarked when they were on the way down to Bob and Connie’s house in Floresville. “What’s wrong?”
He glanced at her and back at the road. “Just thinking. Have you seen anything of Erikson today?”
She shook her head and wrapped her arms tightly around her chest, leaning back in the seat with a shiver. “Could you turn up the heat, Lang?”
“Sure.” He frowned. “You aren’t catching a cold, are you?”
She shook her head. “I’m just tired and worried. The Lancasters didn’t like what Lorna said at lunch, I know they didn’t. What if they think I’m too incompetent to keep on?”
“Aren’t you good at your job?”
“Well, yes, but so are a lot of other people. I’m original, at least. Which is more than I can say for poor old Mack,” she said, grimacing. “He doesn’t like Lorna and he hates high fashion. He finds it boring. He’s not going to do a job she’ll like.”
“What did you have in mind?” he asked, smiling.
“A star-studded extravaganza with some socialites helping to model Lorna’s clothing line,” she said. “They’d not only love the limelight, they’d buy the clothes. It would mean quick sales and
a lot more than just surface promotion. At least one local debutante has a father who owns a network of boutiques internationally. Even Lorna doesn’t have connections like that.” She shrugged. “But she’s not interested in my ideas. I tried to show her what I had in mind, and she just ignored me. She wouldn’t even listen.”
“Pity she doesn’t have any competition,” he mused. “You could put her nose in a sling.”
“She does have competition,” she remarked. “But they’re represented by another company and as far as I know, they don’t have any promotions planned for the rest of the year.”
He gave her a lingering look at a traffic light. “There is such a thing as taking the bit between the teeth. Why don’t you go to the competition and outline your ideas and offer to take the thing on as an independent promoter?”
She gasped. “That would be unethical.”
“Give your notice at Lancaster. Change jobs. Gamble.”
“Lang, I have bills to pay,” she exclaimed with a surprised laugh. “I can’t take a chance like that. I’m not a gambler.”
“I’m not, either, as a rule. But sometimes you have to take a chance.”
“You don’t take chances.”
“No? I asked you to marry me.”
She averted her eyes and stared out the window with a sinking heart.
“That was badly put, wasn’t it?” he asked quietly. “I’m sorry. I was trying to cheer you up.”
“Lorna saw right through you today,” she said. “She pushed you into a corner and as much as made you admit that you didn’t want to marry me.”
His hand tightened on the steering wheel as he was forced to remember the threat Lorna had made.
“I admitted nothing.”
She turned in her seat, adjusting her seat belt, and studied his profile. “You aren’t ready,” she said simply. “To you, commitment is still the boogeyman. You think of marriage as a sort of prison, with children as the chains that keep people there.”
He winced. “Kirry…”
She touched his sleeve, feeling the warm strength of his arm under it. “We can be engaged for a little while, until I make up my mind what I’m going to do—stay with the agency or take that chance and go independent. But I won’t take the engagement seriously, and I don’t want you to. Your conscience may sting for a while about what we did, but you’ll get over it. Nothing happened, Lang. We just made love. People do it all the time. No big deal.”
“It was to me,” he said shortly, glowering down at her. “And if it was no big deal, why haven’t you done it before now with some other man?”
She leaned her head against the seat and looked at him quietly. “You know why. You’ve always known. It’s because I belong to you.”
His heart shivered in his chest. He couldn’t look at her again. She was tying him in knots, but they were of his own making.
He didn’t want her to belong to him. He didn’t want to be a prisoner of his conscience or even of love.
She withdrew her hand and looked out the windshield. She’d embarrassed him. At the very least, she’d made him uncomfortable. “Don’t torture yourself,” she said quietly. “I’m not asking for anything.”
“I know that,” he said tersely.
She closed her eyes, enjoying the company and the darkness as they sped toward Floresville. If only they could keep driving forever, she thought. It would be lovely not to have to go back to all her problems and the future, when Lang would be out of her life again, and forever this time.
She was dreaming. Lang had made love to her, and they were sprawled under a big oak tree by a beautiful stream in a meadow, holding each other. He was whispering how much he loved her…
“Will you wake up?” he demanded curtly, shaking her. “We’re here, and all hell has broken loose from the sound of things!”
She sat up, her dream shattered by his harsh tone. “What?” she asked, confused.
“Listen!”
The car was sitting in the driveway of the old Victorian house where the Pattons lived. A loud voice—Bob’s—was disclaiming some accusation that came from Connie. In the background, a soft Spanish voice was trying to assert reason.
“Housekeeper, my blue elbow! You were kissing her!” Connie was raging.
“I was holding her while she cried, because you hurt her feelings!” Bob yelled. All three of them were outlined on the front porch. “You didn’t have to accuse her of being a home-wrecker!”
“Well, she is!” Connie said. “She’s even taken over Mikey! He wants Teresa to read to him, he wants Teresa to take him to school, he wants Teresa to sit by him when we eat…he’s
my
son!”
“He’d never know it, would he, when you’ve got your nose stuck in engines all day and half the night!”
“Oh!” Connie threw up her hands and started to say something else when she noticed the car in the driveway. She smoothed down her greasy coveralls and glanced from the car to Bob.
“Lang!” his brother exclaimed, grateful for the diversion. “Lang, is that you?”
“Looks like it,” Lang said ruefully. He got out and waited for Kirry to join him at the steps. “We just got engaged and thought we’d come and tell you. This doesn’t look like the best time for an announcement.”
“Engaged?” Connie stumbled. “You and Kirry? Again?”
“We weren’t actually engaged then,” Lang said irritably. “We were almost engaged.”
Connie’s face softened. “Well, well. And when are you getting married, soon?”
“I wish everybody would stop asking that!” Lang burst out, running an irritated big hand through his hair.
“We haven’t set a date,” Kirry said quickly. “It was very
sudden. We haven’t really had a lot of time to talk about it, what with our jobs…”
“Well, of course they haven’t,” Bob told his wife. “Can’t you stop throwing questions at them when they’ve only just gotten here? Teresa, make some coffee and slice some cake, will you?!”
“
Si
, Señor Bob,” Teresa’s soft voice came back, followed by the scurrying of feet.
“She’s a sweetheart,” Bob said with a smile. It faded when he looked at his haggard wife. “She doesn’t think so. She doesn’t even appreciate all the hard work Teresa does here to save her work.”