Man or Machine: 2 (Body Electric) (13 page)

She didn’t know whether he’d been seeing anyone since she split up with him. She didn’t know how he’d react to seeing her in his territory and whether she’d blown whatever chance she’d ever had with him. That sort of information wasn’t available online.

It had taken her less than four hours to drive here. The route was familiar enough. But small things had changed—billboards, road signs, buildings. The toll on the freeway had increased and the pizza restaurant she used to stop at for coffee at the halfway point had changed to a Greek taverna. All of it reminded her that she’d spent the past three years in nearly total isolation, absorbed in technology and ignoring her own feelings.

What if the world, and Hal, had moved on too much for her to rejoin them?

She stopped the car and got out. There were a lot of tall windows in the brownstone and they were all blank. Hal could be behind any of them. He could be behind none of them. If she turned around and went back home now, she’d never know whether he was aware she’d come.

On the drive here, she’d considered whether she should try to sneak into his house as he’d sneaked into hers. His security was bound to be flawless but she suspected Dallas had learned enough about Hal to be able to make some recommendations on how to breach it.

But she didn’t want to be sneaky. She wanted to be honest. She wanted all the secrets to be gone between them. Not just the technical ones he’d learned for himself but the real secrets about how they really felt.

Ilsa walked up the stone steps to Hal’s front door. She noticed with relief that a video entry system had been fitted beside the door. If Hal didn’t want to see her, he could refuse to answer or tell her to go away. She wouldn’t have to see him. She raised her hand to ring the bell.

The door clicked unlocked. It swung open.

She stepped inside to a rather impressive entrance hall. It was long, with a hardwood floor and blank white walls and a tall staircase with mahogany railings. Other than a bicycle leaning against the far wall, it was completely empty.

“Hal?” she called.

Silence. The door swung shut behind her.

She couldn’t see a camera or a microphone anywhere but she knew they would be there. “I’ve come to say I’m sorry,” she called.

Silence.

“I suppose you want me to tell you what I’m sorry for. And that’s why you’re not talking to me.” She waited but there wasn’t a reply.

“First, I’m sorry for breaking up with you by email. It was cowardly and wrong. I just—I was overwhelmed. My father was dying. He didn’t want me to tell anyone. But I should have convinced him. I should have trusted you.”

Her words echoed off the bare walls. They would be carried immediately to Hal’s computer, wherever he was. He might not even be in the house.

“The thing is, Hal, I don’t think I ever believed down deep that you would care that much. I’ve never been any good at emotions. Intellectually, I knew I was your equal but when it came to me, myself… I’m not beautiful. I’m not successful. I’m not good with people and I’m not particularly interesting or experienced. I thought it was bound to end sooner or later. I preempted it with my email. And when you didn’t come after me, I figured I’d been right.”

More silence.

In normal circumstances, Ilsa would have said she’d prefer to confess her deepest, darkest fears to a wall rather than to a person, but this was beginning to unnerve her. What was Hal doing? Was he laughing at her? Nodding and agreeing? Had he gotten tired of her and turned her off?

“You were wrong,” Hal said.

She’d been talking more or less to the bicycle but his voice came from above her. She whirled around and saw him standing on the top step of the staircase. He might have been there all the time, out of sight behind the banister. He was wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt with a comic book villain on it. He looked tired and a little bit sad.

“Is this really why you decided to make yourself a robot boyfriend?” he asked her. “Because you didn’t think you were worthy of truly being loved?”

She came to the bottom of the stairs and looked up at him. “If that was my reason, I sort of messed up. It turns out Dallas is obsessed with love.”

He barked a laugh. “Don’t tell me you’ve come to fetch me to bring me back for Dallas.”

“No. No, I haven’t.” Ilsa climbed one step. Just one. Hal didn’t back up, which she supposed was a good sign. “This is between you and me, Hal. It always has been, hasn’t it?”

“I will admit,” he said, “that I wanted to see your robots. But I wanted to see you more.”

“I’ve thought about you every day,” she said. She climbed one more step.

Hal came down one step too. It made her heart leap. “Every day, Ilsa. It’s been torture being in the same house with you and not being able to touch you.”

“Except when we were with Dallas.”

“To me, he was part of you.”

Ilsa shook her head. “He’s himself. This is where I’ve been going wrong. I thought I wouldn’t have to feel with him.”

“But why, Ilsa? You’re brilliant and beautiful and vibrant. Why do you want to dull that?”

“Because when my father was dying, I knew I didn’t want to lose anyone else I cared about. So it seemed best not to care at all.”

He came down another step. She could see him more clearly. He wore an expensive watch. He’d shaved since yesterday. There was a small cut under his chin where he’d nicked himself.

It was so vulnerable. So human. She wanted to soothe even that small pain. How could she ever heal the bigger hurt she’d created?

She climbed another step. There were a dozen between them now. “But I was so lonely, Hal. That’s why I created him.”

He stepped down one more. “It’s only you and me here now, Ilsa. Why are we talking about him?”

She held on to the banister and walked up another three steps before she could let herself chicken out. “Because I’m using him to avoid talking about how I feel for you. That’s what I used him for when the three of us were having sex. If I focused on him, I didn’t have to show you my real emotions.”

He came down two. “And what are your emotions?” he asked.

He was so close, so dear, that a lump rose in her throat.

And there were so many emotions—desire, shame, fear, regret, hope. Loss and loneliness and joy at the sight of him. Too many to name or to quantify.

So she climbed the rest of the stairs until she was on the same step as he. And she took his face in her hands.

“Are you sure, Ils?” he asked her. His voice was unsteady. “Don’t do this unless you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” she told him and she kissed him.

It was sweeter and more wonderful even than she remembered.

And it ignited such a flame of need that she crushed herself against him as hard as she could. The wonderful long, lean length of his body. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. Deep and hot.

“I want you so much,” she murmured into his mouth, sneaking her hands underneath the bottom of his t-shirt to touch his bare skin.

He responded by pressing her against the wall. This was fine with her; she didn’t have to worry about keeping her balance and it left her hands free to touch her fill. Up his back, around to his chest and that wonderful soft line of hair on his firm stomach. The shallow dent of his navel and then up to his strong shoulders.

Kissing, all the time. She never wanted to stop.

They had to pause for a second when she pulled his t-shirt up over his head but then they were at it again, mouths together. His teeth, his lips, his tongue, his smile. How had she kept herself from him for so long?

She was fumbling with his belt now, heart pounding, breathing in nothing but Hal. He unzipped her jeans and pushed them down. He spread his hand across her ass, big enough to cover it and hold her and press her against his crotch, which she could feel was rock-hard.

“I’m not going to last long,” he muttered roughly. “I’ve been waiting too long to have you properly.”

Despite her panting for air, despite the fact she wanted him so badly any delay now felt like torture, she couldn’t help but laugh. Though it came out more like a gasp. “You’re not feeling inadequate compared to a machine, are you?”

“Never.” His hand slipped into her underwear, between her legs. She groaned. “Well,” he said, “maybe a little bit.”

She kissed his lips and looked into his blue eyes. “You’re all I want,” she told him. “You’re all I’ve ever really wanted.”

And to prove it, she pushed down her underwear and kicked them to the bottom of the stairs. Then she reached into his trousers and took out his erection.

“I need you inside me. I need to feel all of you. Now, Hal.”

Her back braced against the wall, she hooked one of her legs around his hip and with her hand she guided him into her. He held her steady as he slid into her, inch by inch, until he was deeply, wonderfully home.

“Ils,” he said and began to thrust. With the leg around his waist, she guided him, encouraged him, arched herself against him. She tangled the fingers of one hand in his hair and with the other she stroked his face as she kissed him. She felt his shoulders, his back, his ass.

She never would get enough of touching him.

There was no buildup. One moment she was pulling him deeper inside her and the next minute she was climaxing. She dug her fingers into his shoulders, held him as tightly as she could, squeezed him inside her as her body was racked with exquisite spasms.

“Everything about you,” he whispered to her, “inside and out.” And then he was coming too, with a loud groan. She felt him shudder and jerk, felt the hot splash of his semen deep within her.

They stood together, panting, still joined. She was still wearing her shirt and his jeans were around his ankles. She pushed back his hair from his forehead.

And it wasn’t so complicated after all. There was one word that encompassed everything she felt and everything she had been trying not to feel.

“I love you,” she said to him.

He kissed her softly. And again.

“I love you too,” he said. “I always have.” He caressed down the side of her face with the backs of his fingers. Then his mouth quirked. “Hey. Welcome to my house. This is the staircase.”

“It’s nice.”

“Thank you very much. I think, though, I should show you my bedroom.”

“So you can tie me up in it?” She smiled at him. Her friend, her equal, her love.

She felt him catch his breath.

Several Days Later

The daffodils were out when Ilsa and Hal came up the drive of the Morgenstern mansion in Hal’s Audi. They were bright blobs of sunshine against the grass. Green was at the far end of the house, weeding the flowerbeds. The robot straightened up and waved at them from a distance as they drove up.

“He’s the one I haven’t met,” said Hal.

“You will,” said Ilsa. She squeezed his thigh.

“I won’t be required to have sex with him, will I?” His blue eyes sparkled.

“You are only required to have sex with me. Over and over again, in every way we can imagine.”

“Now that’s something to look forward to.”

“Besides, Green hasn’t got any genitalia. Dad didn’t foresee that the robots would want to have sexual or emotional relationships.”

“You know,” said Hal, “I wonder if that’s so. It seems to me that Blue wouldn’t have taken to emotion so readily if he hadn’t been in some way built for it. And from what you say, Dallas has a positive talent for it.”

“I’ve been searching my father’s journals. Maybe you’ll find something I didn’t.”

Through the car windshield, Hal gazed up at the house, vast and mellow looking in the spring sunlight. “I wish I’d met him. Not because he was a genius but because he was so important to you.”

“I wish you’d met him too. He’d have liked you.” She leaned across the seat and kissed him. It had been days now and she still wasn’t used to the extra jolt of happiness she felt whenever her lips met his. She wondered if she ever would get used to it.

Someone rapped on the Audi’s passenger window, making them both jump. They broke apart from each other to see Cally laughing at them outside.

“You two lovebirds,” she called, “stop making out in the car and come inside. The family wants to meet you.” She turned and ran into the house, leaving the door open.

“Should I feel nervous?” Hal asked as they got out of the car. “The last time I met Blue I was a burglar.”

“He won’t hold it against you,” Ilsa said, taking his hand. “The one you have to worry about is my brother Jonathan. He considers himself the head of the family and he doesn’t have the highest opinion of tech geeks. But he’s not back for a few days, I don’t think. And besides, you’re a rich tech geek. So you should be all right.”

Cally, Blue, Dallas and Red were all waiting for them in the ornate, sunny reception hall. Dallas immediately came up and flung his arms around both of them.

“Baby! Stud! You look good enough to eat!” He planted a big kiss on each of their mouths.

“I must say, I’m sort of curious about this relationship dynamic here,” Cally said to Blue, not bothering to lower her voice.