Man Plus (10 page)
Outside the men's room the deputy director caught him. "Goddamn lousy thing," he said. "I guess you know you're--"
"I know," said Torraway, pleased that his voice was so calm. "We're going to have to find out what happened _fast_. I'm having a meeting in my office in ninety minutes. We'll have the first autopsy reports. I want you there."
Roger nodded, glanced at his wrist watch and turned smartly away. The important thing, he thought, was to keep moving as though he were too busy to interrupt.
Unfortunately he couldn't think of a single thing he had to do, or even that he could pretend to be doing, to keep conversation away. No, he recognized, not conversation. It was thought he wanted to keep away, thinking about himself. He wasn't afraid. He wasn't
furious at fate. He just wasn't prepared to look into the personal consequences of Willy Hartnett's death, not right at that moment--He looked up; someone had been calling his name.
It was Jon Freeling, Brad's surgical assistant in perceptual systems, looking for Brad.
"Why, no," said Torraway, glad to be talking about something other than Willy's death or his own future, "I don't know where he is. Went to lunch, I think."
"Two hours ago. His tail's going to be in a crack if I can't find him before the DD's meeting. I'm not sure I can field all the questions--and I can't go looking for him, they're bringing the cyborg into my lab now, and I've got to--"
"I'll find him for you," Torraway said hastily. "I'll call him at home."
"Tried it. No dice. And he didn't leave a number where he could be reached."
Torraway winked, suddenly feeling relieved, delighted to have a challenge he could respond to. "You know Brad," he said. "You have to remember there's a lot of tomcat in that boy. I'll find him." And he took the elevator to the administrative floor turned two corners and rapped on the door marked _Administrative Statistics_.
The function of the people inside that door had very little to do with statistics. The door didn't open at once; instead, a spy-hole opened and a blue eye looked out at him. "I'm Colonel Torraway, and it's an emergency."
"One moment," said a girl's voice; there was a sound of clattering and scraping, and then the door unlocked and she let Torraway in. There were four other people in the room, all of them in civilian clothes and looking rather undistinguished, as they were meant to do. Each had an old-fashioned rolltop desk, of a kind one did not usually expect to see in a modern space-agency office. The tops could be pulled down to conceal what was on the desks at a moment's notice; they were down now.
"It's Dr. Alexander Bradley," Roger said. "He's needed urgently in about an hour and his department can't find him. Commander Hartnett is dead, and--"
The girl said, "We know about Commander Hartnett. Do you want us to find Dr.
Bradley for you?"
"No, I'll do it. But I expect you can tell me where to start looking. I know you keep tabs on all of us, extracurricular activities and all." He did not actually wink at her too, but he heard the sound of a wink in his voice.
The girl looked at him steadily for a moment. "He's probably at--"
"Hold it," called the man at the desk behind her, his voice surprisingly angry.
She shook her head, overruling him without looking at him. "Try the Chero-Strip Hover Hotel," she said. "He usually uses the name of Beckwith. I'd suggest you telephone.
Maybe it would be better if we did it for you, at that--"
"Oh, no," said Torraway easily, resolute to keep this chore for himself. "It's important I talk to him myself."
The young man said strongly, "Dr. Torraway, I really suggest you let us handle--"
But he was already backing out of the door, nodding, not listening any more. He had made up his mind not to bother telephoning but to drive to the motel; it was a valid reason to get out of the lab while he collected his thoughts.
Outside the air-controlled laboratory buildings Tonka had been getting hotter and hotter. The sun penetrated even the tinted windshield, filling Torraway's car with heat that
defied the cooling system. He drove inexpertly on manual, taking the curves so sloppily that the guidance wheels skidded. The motel was fifteen stories tall and solid glass; it seemed to aim the sunlight directly at him, like Archimedes's warriors defending Syracuse.
He was glad to get out in the underground parking lot and take the moving stairs up to the lobby.
The lobby itself was as tall as the building, completely enclosed, with the rooms racked around it and flying bridges and galleries crisscrossing overhead. The clerk had never heard of Dr. Alexander Bradley.
"Try Beckwith," suggested Torraway, offering a bill. "He sometimes has trouble remembering his name."
But it was no use, the clerk either couldn't place Brad or wouldn't. Roger drove out of the parking space, paused in the beat of the sunshine and considered what to do next.
He stared unseeing into the reflecting pool that doubled as the motel's air-conditioning heat sink. Probably he should try phoning Brad at his apartment, he thought. Should have done it while he was in the lobby; he didn't much want to turn around and go back in. Or call from the car, for that matter; the car phone was broadcast radio, and the conversation would be better private. He could go home and call from there, he planned; it was not more than a five-minute run--At which point it first registered on Roger that he really ought to tell his wife what had happened.
It was not a duty he looked forward to. Telling Dorrie unfortunately implied spelling it all out to himself. But Roger had a good attitude toward inevitable things, even if unpleasant, and keeping his mind in neutral, he turned the car toward home and Dorrie.
Unfortunately Dorrie wasn't there.
He called to her in the hallway, peered into the dining room, looked at the swimming pool in the back, checked both bathrooms. No Dorrie. Out shopping, no doubt.
It was annoying, but it couldn't be helped, and he was just about to leave a note for her, staring out the window while he tried to think how to phrase the note, when he saw her driving up in her micromidget two-seater.
He had the door open for her before she got to it.
He expected she would be surprised. He had not expected that she would just stand there, her pretty eyebrows raised and motionless, her expression showing no movement at all. She looked like a snapshot of herself, frozen in the middle of a step.
He said, "I wanted to talk to you about something. I just came from the Chero-Strip, because Brad is involved too, but--"
She came to life and said politely, "Let me come in and sit down." There was still no expression on her face as she paused in the hallway to look at herself in the mirror. She smoothed some blemish on her cheek, fluffed her hair, went into the living room and sat down without taking off her hat. "It's awfully warm out today, isn't it?" she observed.
Roger sat down too, trying to collect his thoughts. It was important not to frighten her. Once he had watched a television program about how to break bad news, some shrink with a need for more patients and a fear of being labeled unethical keeping him from hiring a man with a sandwich board, going on the talk shows in the hope of catching a few live ones for his waiting room. Never be blunt, he said. Give the person a chance to prepare himself. Tell it a little at a time. At that period Roger had thought it was comic; he remembered telling Dorrie about it--_Honey, have you got your charge card? . . . Well, you'll need it for the black dress . . . The black dress for the funeral . . . The funeral we have
to go to, and you'll want to look nice because of who it is . . . Well, after all, she was a pretty old lady. And you know she didn't drive very well. The policemen said she didn't suffer after she creamed the truck. Your father's bearing up very well._ They had both laughed about it.
"Please go ahead," Dorrie said invitingly, taking a cigarette out of the box on the coffee table. As she lit it, Roger saw the butane flame quiver and realized with astonishment that her hand was shaking. He was both surprised and a little pleased; evidently she was bracing herself for some kind of bad news. She had always been very perceptive, he thought admiringly, and now that she was ready, he plunged in.
"It's Willy Hartnett, dear," he said kindly. "Something went wrong this morning and--"
He paused, waiting for her to catch up to him. She did not look concerned as much as puzzled.
"He's dead," said Torraway shortly, and stopped to let it sink in.
She nodded thoughtfully. It wasn't penetrating, Roger thought regretfully. She didn't understand. She had liked Willy, but she was not crying or screaming or showing any emotion at all.
He finished the thought, giving up on tact: "And of course that means that I'm next in line," he said, trying to speak slowly. "The others are out of it; you remember, I told you.
So I'm the one they'll want to, uh, prepare for the Mars mission."
The look on her face perplexed him. It was fragile and apprehensive, almost as though she had been expecting something worse and still was not sure it was not coming.
He said impatiently, "Don't you understand what I'm saying, dear?"
"Why, yes. That's--well, it's a little hard to take in." He nodded, satisfied, and she went on, "But I'm confused. Didn't you start by saying something about Brad and the Chero-Strip?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I know I threw a lot at you at once. Yes. I said I had just been at the motel, looking for Brad. You see, it looks like it's the perceptual systems that went wrong and killed Willy. Well, that's Brad's baby. And today of all days he took a long lunch to--well, I don't have to tell you about Brad. He's probably shacked up somewhere with one of the nurses. But it's going to look bad if he isn't there for the meeting--" He stopped to look at his watch. "Wow, I've got to get back myself. But I did want to break this to you in person."
"Thank you, honey," she said absently, pursuing a thought. "Wouldn't it have been better to phone him?"
"Who?"
"Brad, of course."
"Oh. Oh, sure, except it was sort of private. I didn't want anyone listening in. And besides, I didn't think he'd be answering the phone. In fact, the desk clerk wouldn't admit he was ever there. And I had to go to Security to get a lead on where he might be." He had a sudden thought; he knew Dorrie liked Brad, and he wondered for a half second if she was upset at Brad's immorality. The thought dismissed itself, and he burst out admiringly,
"Honey, I have to say you're taking this beautifully. Most women would be in hysterics by now."
She shrugged and said, "Well, what's the use of making a fuss? We both knew this could happen."
He ventured, "I won't look very good, Dorrie. And, you know, I think the physical part of our marriage will be down the drain for a while--even not counting the fact I'll be away on the mission for better than a year and a half."
