Man Up Stepbrother (5 page)

She's defending him. That doesn't bode well for her. Or for me.

"Who've you been out with since? Anyone that seemed a little off to you? A little too possessive or someone that wanted to move too fast?"

"No."

"Anyone acting weird that won't take no for an answer."

"Besides you right now?"

I shoot her a warning look. This isn't something to make light of. Unless she means it. I've been doing my best to keep things light, but it’s possible I'm too intense for her and she's not ready for me.

She shakes her head. "I haven't been on any dates."

"Then it comes back to Bailey."

"It doesn't have to be personal."

"Yes. It does. Someone's sending you a message, and if you can't think of anyone else, then Bailey is the likely suspect."

"Why are you harping on this?"

"Because you're in danger!"

"Again, we don't know that."

"Fine, then tell me, when was the last time someone did you a solid and slashed your tires?" I don't mean to yell at her, but I'm already uptight, and her lack of reason is starting to piss me off. I feel the tension in my grip on the wheel and hope I can keep it confined to my hands.

She shakes her head, "Never."

"Never. And it just so happens tonight when he sees you out with another guy."

Her eyes narrow at me. I'm sorry she's pissed that I'm stating the obvious, but she needs to deal with it. I hear the tight hard tone of my voice. I need to bring it down a notch. "Look, I'm sorry, but he's the most likely suspect. This was not a random act. Trust me on this."

I can't tell if I swayed her any, since she doesn't have a retort to my last comment, and she's looking out her window instead of in my direction. She's quiet, and I don't want to push her any further right now. We drive for the next five minutes in an uncomfortable silence, with an invisible barrier rising up between us.

"This isn't the way home, where are you taking me?"

"To my place. You're not spending the night alone in that house."

"You're overreacting."

"Great. Humor me."

*

I look around my apartment, wishing I'd taken a few minutes to clear the table and pick the dirty laundry up off the floor of my bedroom before rushing to my brother's house earlier in the evening. I feel like that whole episode was days ago.

"Excuse the mess." I pick up a crumb-filled dish off the table and carry it over to the sink overflowing with dishes.

"It's fine." Allie says, looking around the place. I'm surprised by how uncomfortable I am in my own space. It's like I'm waiting for her to announce I've failed some sort of test. The apartment isn't much. It's simple. It's small. But it's mine.

"Are you tired?" I ask.

She nods. "I'm pretty wiped. I just want this night to end and forget it ever happened."

Fuck. That hurts. I get her wanting to forget about Bailey and her tires, but wasn't there at least a little bit of the night she'd liked? Like when I had her pinned against my truck outside the bar? I wait for her to give some hint that she wants to remember that, but she doesn't.

"Come on, let me show you to the bedroom."

"Um, okay." She hesitates a second, and I'm guessing she's nervous about what I'm implying.

"I'll grab a pillow and blanket and crash on the couch." I say to settle her nerves and make sure she understands I have no expectation of sleeping in there with her.

She reaches out and touches my arm. I glance at her hand on my elbow, wishing she'd glide it up my arm and over my shoulder.

Not tonight.

Her emotions are running too high, and I promised her no regrets. I'm doing everything I can to keep my word.

"Sorry," she says, meeting my eyes and yanking her hand away as if touching me stings. I wonder if she felt that touch throughout her body too. "You don't have to sleep on the couch."

"It's fine." I shrug.

"I don't
want
you to sleep on the couch."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, searching for the strength and will to do the right thing. I can't turn her down again. I just can't. But I can't let things go
that far
either. I struggle to control the caveman in me that's yearning to sweep her into my arms and carry her off to the bedroom.

"I don't want to be alone. You sleep in the bed and I'll crash on the floor. I'll feel a lot better knowing you're in the same room as me."

That cools me off just enough to regain focus.

"Like hell."

Disappointment floods her face as her chin falls and she looks down at the floor. She's uncertain again. I want to kiss the doubts away. How wrong could it be to kiss her? To crush her against me and taste the sweetness of her lips?

I can do it. A kiss is just a kiss. But it's everything that happens after the kiss that's the problem. The touching. The holding. The fucking I already crave. All this turns a sweet kiss into a complicated bumblefuck of a mess.

"Yes, I'll sleep in there with you, but you've got the bed, I'm on the floor," I say, walking past her.

I rummage through my drawers and toss Allie a T-shirt and a pair of sweats to change into. The thought that my clothes will be on her, wrapped around her body, clinging to her like a hug and cradling her curves in ways I won't allow my hands to, has my cock jumping to life. I avoid looking at her as I try to regain control of myself and bring down my heart rate.

Nothing. Can. Fucking. Happen.

While she's in the bathroom freshening up, I pull out a sleeping bag and trade my clothes for a pair of fresh basketball shorts. I prefer sleeping in the nude, but I don't think she'd be too appreciative of it. It's not like she'll even know unless she ventures into my area of the landscape since I'm already settled into my sleeping bag. But still, I don't want to make her uncomfortable. 

Once she returns from the bathroom, Allie climbs into bed and pulls the covers over her before turning off the lamp. Neither of us speak. I'm fine with that. It's been a long, emotional night for us both. I'm lying on my back thinking with my hands behind my head and my eyes closed. I need sleep to knock me over the head so I can succumb and stop my mind from focusing on the fact that Allie's curled up between the sheets in my bed.

"Jagger," she breaks the silence. Her voice is close. I don't need to look to know she's leaning over the side of the bed, bringing her head close to my pillow. "Are you awake?"

"Nope. I'm fast asleep," I answer.  

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course," I ask, propping myself up on my elbow and facing her.

"What's the deal with you and Lexi?"

I clear my throat. Out of all the things she could've possibly asked, I never dreamed Lexi would be on the list.

"Deal?"

"I know you call and text her. A lot. You know she's never going to leave Noah, right?"

"Fuck, Allie. It's just..." Do I tell her the truth? No. Not now. Not yet. I don't need her thinking any less of me than she already does. "The deal is, we're friends." At least I thought we were, but it seems Lexi may be on a completely different page and I don't like the way this story is going.

"Did you say those things to me by your truck for them to get back to her? I mean, to make her jealous?"

"No." I push myself up so that I'm sitting with my knees bent, shocked that we're having this conversation, and even more so that Allie sounds like an insecure high school girl rather than the strong, sexy woman I know her to be. The same sexy woman teasing and tempting me with her salacious moves at The Tavern.

"Anything we say or do is between us. It's about you and me. I'm not looking to drag anyone else into an already complicated situation."

"Okay."

She doesn't say anything further, but I can't leave it at this. I need an idea of where her head is. "I don't mean to pressure you."

"You're not," she's quick to answer. Too quick.

"Nothing has to change." It's killing me to say this, but I think this is what she needs. Reassurance, and the promise that she's in control. "Just forget it all, and we'll go on the way we've been. Wake up tomorrow and pretend it never happened."

"Except it did. And I'll remember every bit of it when I wake up in
your
bed."

"Alone in my bed."

"It's still your bed."

I don't get why she's arguing with me. "Fine, you want to go back home?"

"No."

"Then what the hell is the problem?" I snap, confused and frustrated.

"There's no problem. I just wanted to make sure you're really interested in me, because after what went down with Bailey... I don't want to worry that you're settling for me when Lexi is the one you really want. I don't want to be anyone's second choice. I just want to be someone's everything."

"Someone's everything? Does that imply you'll settle for being anyone's everything?"

"Of course not, but for once, I want the person I'm with to be crazier about me than anyone else. Is that so wrong?"

I can't stand listening to another second of this.

"Wrong? Of course not. First of all, you'll always be my first choice. And I don't just mean between you and Lexi. Between you and anyone. Second, I poured my heart out to you, and this is what I get, accused of using you to get to Lexi? That's shitty. I should go sleep on the couch." I get to my feet, ready to storm out of my bedroom, when she reaches for my hand.

"Jagger, wait." I hesitate and listen to a long moment of silence before she continues. "I'm scared." The quiver of her voice convinces me she's telling the truth.

"There's nothing to be scared of. I told you, forget everything I said."

"Don't you get it? I don't want to forget."

"Then what the hell
do
you want?"

There's a long pause, and I'm as confused as the sun in a hailstorm.

"You promised no regrets, right?"

"Yes. Worst damn promise I've ever made. Even still, been doing everything in my power to keep it."

"Well, I know if I lay down and go to sleep right now, I'm going to wake up with a major regret. Guaranteed."

"How's that?" I ask as she tugs my hand toward her.

"If I don't kiss you tonight, right now, I'm going to regret it."

That's it. I'm done saying no and trying to take the high road. If this is what she wants, I'm more than happy to give it to her.

She raises herself to a sitting position as I lower myself on the bed next to her. I lean forward and reach under her hair, holding the back of her head. A low whimper sounds from Allie as I stroke the base of her neck and pull her towards me.

This is it. The moment I've been yearning for. The moment I've dreaded. It's the moment of no return.

Chapter 6

Allie

Heart pounding. Pulse racing. Body tingling.

I feel it all with an intensity I’ve never experienced, an intensity I never dreamed existed, as his warm lips meet and electrify mine.

Toes curling. Heat building. Need pulsing.

I can't think. Or breathe.

My lips part at his command. His tongue brushes up against mine, exploring, probing, conditioning my body to succumb to his demands like a lion to its tamer.

Dizzy. Breathless.

I'm a ship sailing over high-pitched crests, swirling like a sprite into the air, floating like dew on the clouds. I'm soaring on exhilarating peaks of lust and longing.

This kiss, the best kiss of my life, causes my skin to cover with goose bumps. It touches my body inside and out in ways I never knew a kiss could. In ways no other kiss ever came close to.

I moan and slide down on the bed, pulling him with me so our mouths won't separate. I feel my body tremble as every hard muscle of Jagger's covers me, pinning me between him and the mattress. I realize his muscles aren't all that's hard. My legs open and my knees bend, making room for him, welcoming him like a guest.

I feel safe. Warm. Wanted.

His hands cup my cheeks, and his hips press into me. I don't remember the last time I felt this desired. By Bailey.
By anyone.

My breaths come quicker, faster. I'm gasping for air every time his mouth leaves mine and drops to my neck or the spot behind my ear.

Jagger reaches a hand under my neck, and the other slides down my face, my side, down to my hip, then back up. I'm waiting for him to make the next move, for his hand to slip under my shirt or down my pants, for him to start to undress me, for him to move us into the next phase of this intense pleasure, but it isn't happening. He starts the pattern of holding, of grasping, of touching all over again.

Jagger's fingers swirl through my hair and massage my head before he drags his hand down my side again. His thumb barely brushes against the side of my breast on its journey, this time continuing downward until his hand stops on my hip. His fingers grip me, biting through the clothes and holding me tight so I can no longer tilt my hips up to rub against or meet him.

He's controlling this...whatever it is happening between us. He not only rules it, but at the moment me as well. I'm Jagger's to do with what he wants. I just wish he'd do more, take it further.

Normally, even thinking a guy wanted to take charge of me, of a situation like this, I'd be insulted. Indignant. I'm no one's toy. Right now I'm happy to relinquish control and let Jagger lead. So far the ride has been the best of my life.

His mouth moves to my neck and the gruffness of his stubbly shadow scratches against me. I squirm beneath him until he brings his lips to the corners of my mouth. I gasp for breath and hold on tight, hoping to center myself and slow my breathing before the next onslaught of pleasure steals me away. It's no use. Once his mouth seizes mine, I'm lost again.

I don't know how long we continue like this, kissing and groping each other with a fierceness and urgency I've never experienced before. As amazing as it is, I want more. My body aches to feel him, to be filled by him. I slip my hands down his corded back and stop for a moment at the waistband of his shorts.

I think I'm going to explode if he doesn't strip me down and fuck me, Before I can overthink what I'm doing and stop myself, I slip my fingers beneath the band and inch them down. Jagger's hands seize mine and lift them over my head, away from my destination, perking my breasts up so they are on full display. Calling out to him.

He doesn't speak, but the message is received. Jagger doesn't want me taking things into my own hands. He pulls back and looks me over while sucking in a deep breath and then meets my eyes again. I'm surprised by the emotion I find in his. Of all the things I expected to see right now, like passion, lust, or even desire, emotion never made the list.

"Not tonight, sunshine. Not tonight," he brings his mouth to my ear and whispers. His warm breath tickles, sending pulses of pleasure through my body.

A moan escapes my lips. A moan of longing and need.

"Oh, baby, one of these days you're going to moan like that for me, with my name spilling out of your mouth, and it's going to send me over the edge."

"Why not now?" I ask, hoping I can change his mind.

His tongue swirls, making tiny circles between my neck and shoulder, driving me insane. I don't care what he wants to do to me right now, I'll say yes.

"Another time," he says, running his thumb over my bottom lip and lightly pressing the tip into my mouth, where I caress it between the roof of my mouth and my tongue. "I promise."

And then, with one last long look into my eyes, it's over.

"That's it?" I ask, stunned.

I won't admit it, but I'm secretly happy that aside from some hot and heavy kissing, really hot and heavy kissing, Jagger isn't pushing for more. Not that he'd have to push, all he'd have to do is suggest it and I'd agree enthusiastically. Hot and sweaty, Jagger rolls off me, one hand still under my neck.

"For tonight, baby. I probably shouldn't have let things go this far, but damn, tasting that sweet mouth of yours was just too tempting."

I want to pull him back on top of me. His words are doing nothing to cool my overheated body and overactive libido. Maybe I should ignore what he just said and climb on top of him. I doubt he'll complain if I straddle him. And I bet his mind will change in no time with me grinding against him.

I'm too busy thinking instead of acting, and I lose my chance to tempt him further. Jagger pulls his hand out from behind my back and rolls toward the other end of the bed. He's going to get up as if the last few minutes didn't happen. As if my body isn't screaming out for him, isn't craving to feel every inch of him.

I don't want him to leave my side. Something happened when he looked into my eyes. We communicated without words. At least I think we did. Maybe it was something more. A connection woven between us with thick, rich threads. Threads that can't separate or unravel unless they're sliced apart with a sharp blade.

"Don't leave." I stretch my hand out to him.

"I'm just going back to my sleeping bag because if I stay in this bed with you--"

"Please. I like the way I feel wrapped up in your arms."

"Me too," he says, his voice thick with emotion. The same overwhelming emotion I thought I saw in his eyes a few minutes ago. "That's the problem."

"I promise I'll be on my best behavior."

"For the record, guys never want to hear that. We want to hear promises of how naughty and filthy you plan to get," he says, sliding up against me.

I don't know if he can see the smile on my face as I turn onto my side, giving him my back, but it's there, and it's all because of him. Jagger's arms slip under and over my waist, pulling me up against his chest. He's spooning me. It's sweet and decadent at the same time, and I'm amazed at how perfect this feels.

I've been attracted to Jagger since Lexi and I picked him up at the airport, so I'm not surprised his lips hold magic for me. But this simple action...lying with me like this, Bailey hated it. He'd only do it in an attempt to get laid. Only when he thought sex was his reward did he give me what I yearned for.

"You're very quiet, sunshine."

"Why do you call me that? Are you making fun of me because I'm from California?"

"Hell no." He runs a hand over my hair and nibbles on my earlobe, sending shivers through my body yet again. His mouth has me so distracted I forget I asked him a question. "When you walk into a room, the whole place lights up, like someone drew the blinds wide open and lets in the most brilliant, the most dazzling sunlight ever."

His arms pull me tighter against him. He's hugging me from behind, and my arms resting on top of his squeeze back. We spend a few minutes in warm, comfortable silence before he speaks again.

"I'm sorry, I have to ask. Why were you with such a narcissistic prick for so long?"

I wish he didn't bring Bailey up. My ex is my Achilles heel. He knew how to play me, how to manipulate me in ways no one else in my life did. He's my biggest embarrassment and greatest regret.

I wanted so bad to believe in him, in us, that I buried my head in the sand. I didn't want to see it at the time, but the moment he'd told me Talia was pregnant, I realized I’d known he'd been fucking her all along. I just couldn’t, or didn’t want to find physical proof to back up my suspicions.

I understand why Jagger asked. Seeing her bulging belly earlier in the night shouldn't have set me off, but it did. I wanted the storybook ending to my relationship with Bailey, and she ruined it. She stole it away for herself.

It doesn't matter that I never felt the unyielding passion for Bailey I've read about in books. It doesn't matter that he never felt the need to rip my clothes off the second we got home drunk from a party like I'd seen in movies and heard about firsthand from Lexi. Or that we never had a make-out session that set me ablaze the way the one with Jagger just did. I thought we worked.

"I wanted us to work."

We were friends and we loved each other. We were compatible. He knew all my secrets, and I thought I knew his. We wanted the same things in life, so it seemed, and understood we sometimes had to sacrifice time together to achieve them.

When Bailey couldn't come to Lexi's wedding because he had to go away for work that weekend, I didn't sweat it. When he occasionally didn't show up to special dinners that we planned because a client had a problem that needed his immediate attention, I didn't think twice. Even when we went a full month without having sex at the end, I let him convince me he was just physically exhausted from working so hard. 

I'll admit I'd been tempted to stray, to test the waters with Jagger before I knew his mother was marrying my father and that Bailey knocked up that piece of trash that followed him around everywhere. There was a point where Bailey was so preoccupied I don't think he would've noticed. Not even if he came home and found Jagger passed out in our bed. That's how bad things had gotten.

By the time I realized what was right under my nose, it was too late.

Jagger and I were stepsiblings and Bailey had shattered me to bits.

"I thought he loved me." A tear slips out of the corner of my eye when I hear how ridiculous and weak I sound.
Did I really let him humiliate me because I needed to feel loved?
"Bet that's the most pathetic thing you ever heard."

"Hey, no tears over him," Jagger coos, kissing the top of my head.

"My tears aren't over him. They're over me. I didn't realize it until right now. I'm disappointed in myself that I needed to feel loved so badly I let him hurt me. I'm an idiot."

"C'mon, sunshine. Stop putting the blame on yourself. All you did was trust in the wrong person."

"Yeah." No big deal. Suddenly I wish Jagger's arms weren't around me. I don't think I'll ever let myself love or trust anyone again. Not the way I trusted Bailey. Jagger threatens that resolve. Hell, he threatens
any
resolve I have. I want to push him away, keep him at a distance, so I don't fall for him any further. As is, I'm already splattered on the pavement. I don't think there's anything left of me for Jagger to break.

"Hey, never doubt yourself. The right guy will appreciate how smart and beautiful you are. And fierce. You are most definitely fierce, with a fire and spirit I've never seen before. At least when you're standing up to me."

"Except when I saw them together, I crumbled at your feet."

"You're not giving yourself enough credit. You didn't crumble, you stumbled. Then you switched gears, pulled yourself together, and made it clear you don't want or need him in your life. And hell, was it sexy to watch." Jagger's tone is firm, yet comforting. "In fact, I thought you handled the whole situation with grace and class. I worried when you were in the bathroom with her that it would lead to an all-out catfight, but when you came out, it didn't look like you even flinched."

"What are you talking about? I was alone in the bathroom."

"Maybe you were busy in a stall when his baby mama came in and didn't realize she was there."

I turn in his arms so that I'm facing him and shake my head back and forth.

"No way. All I did in there was stand at the sink and stare in the mirror, giving myself a pep talk. I would've known if anyone walked through the door."

"Then where the hell did she disappear to? Because she wasn't at the table when you were in there."

"You don't think she could've been the one to slash my tires, do you?"

Jagger rubs his cheek against my hair. "I sincerely hope not. That would mean she's completely unhinged to do that while people were around and anyone could see."

"I don't put it past that bitch!"

"I still think it's a hell of a lot more likely that Bailey did it because seeing us together pissed him off."

"No. It's just not him. Besides, don't you see? I didn't mean that much to him."

"That's not what I saw at all. And it's his loss, baby, not yours." Jagger rests his chin on top of my head and rubs small circles on my back. "Now close those beautiful eyes and get some rest."