Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension
Read Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension Online
Authors: YT Whitemansson
Tags: #dinosaurs, #kurt vonnegut, #santa claus, #comics and culture, #mythology and fairy tale
Maniacs in the
fourth dimension
A work of
fiction by
Y.T.
Whitemansson
ISBN-13:
978-1508684572
ISBN-10:
150868457X
MMXV
For Kurt, Menander, Basilides,
Cerinthus, Valentinus, Cerdo, Marcion, Carpocrates, Mani..
In its entirety this story is
narrated by its inhabitants.
In the story, character ' - '
means that the speaker, or the narrator was interrupted while
talking, or narrating.
Character ' _ ' means that
narrator died in the moment of narration.
Jellyfishes
and electromagnetic pulses
Guardian snakes
and lapsed catholics
A very boring
chapter the author didn't want to write
Cleit predicts
his own death and other stories
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
The secret of life
and all things
Front row seat
for the beginning of the end of the world
Cassius, Brutus,
Ceasar, stab! stab!
Rosencrantz &
Guildenstern take a bow
Chapter
one
It turns out
that I'm the one that has to go get him. I bought the tickets, I
did everything, and now, I have to find out where that cunt is. I
mean, I know where he is. Lying on the bed in his apartment.
Jerking himself off to death.
I didn't
imagine that it looks like that when you're dumped by someone you
truly loved.
He's just
lying on the bed all the time, every fuckin' day, and watching MTV,
waiting for the videos with that redhead russian whore, Nadia, and
jerking off.
Isaac's
girlfriend was a redhead.
Sigh.
My name is
Lempo. I'm the one little bit Asian looking. My eyes look like I'm
Japanese or somethin'. As far as I know, I don't have any Asian
blood. But yes, I'm pushing manga hairstyles. I like
manga.
Cleitus,
Isaac, and Jove are my pack. We are best friends since high school.
High school is where I first met Cleitus and Isaac, I've known Jove
before high school, but we didn't hang out. Since then, four of us
spent every second we could together. Good days. And they still
are.
When we
finished high school, all four of us, entered Applied Sciences
University, Physics Department, just so we could be together, like
in high school. Cleitus is the only one that isn't a complete
airhead when it comes to physics.
Cleitus, or
simply Cleit, as he's called by virtually everyone, is the
unofficial leader of our pack. He's a year older than us three, and
the most mature one. He has his ways around teachers, around girls,
around everyone. I don't know, is it some pheromones, or something
else that designates him as an alpha male, wherever he
appears.
I think it's
the color of his voice, it's presidential.
All this
wouldn't be so strange, if Cleit isn't resembling a neanderthal.
His facial bone structure, I mean, makes him look much like that
stereotype image of neanderthal. Sounds like a horrible thing to
say about best friend, but I'm just being honest. Well, a good
looking neanderthal. Charlton Heston of all
neanderthals.
Anyway, Isaac
is his brother, looks nothing like him. Isaac is a chubby, orange
haired, ginger guy.
And also,
there's Jove. Tall and skinny, I'd tell you that there aren't any
special features about him, beside his laughter. When he laughs, he
laughs like a maniac.
But, that
ain't exactly true. Beside the maniacal laughter, he just might be
a maniac.
Listen to
this. I caught him once masturbating. He was playing some old VHS
tape, of a praying mantis eating its mate, and jerking off to that.
He saw me, and had me promise I'll keep my mouth shut about
that.
Bizarre.
So, four of
us are Physics students now. That department didn't really have a
crowd, so we popped in.
We still go,
twice a week, or even more frequently, to our high school, to shoot
hoops, two on two, in the school basketball court. I guess we like
being there. Good days.
When we
started our third year there, Isaac's redhead, Maya, started her
first. You should of seen her then, in that post-punk or whatever
style, all leather and rags, and her hair, fiery red, copper red.
She had some freaky piercing in her lip.
When four of
us saw her, Isaac went, 'I saw her first', and a couple of days
later, she was occupying his lap, and they were sucking each
other's face. The way she appeared, she was more a fantasy, than a
real person, like a manga drawing, something someone imagined and
drew on paper, something unreal, and, you have to admit that it
isn't healthy to fall for something like that. Because, it's just a
role, hedonistic exaggeration of youth, that is bound to disappear
with years to come.
Aphrodite,
Venus in leathers.
She was just
a kid when she met Isaac, and she wasn't aware of her value yet,
value on the scale of attraction.
When Isaac
left high school for university, she got a little time away from
him. She started DJ-ing in some club, and Isaac couldn't keep her
selfishly for himself anymore. I don't know what really happened,
but Isaac told us they decided to go separate ways. I think she
dumped him.
Their combo
just wasn't natural, ten years from now she will be a very
successful and rich person, and he will still be wearin'
three-quarter pants. It had to happen. You don't marry
fantasies.
Isaac kept
calling her on the phone, he always had something to talk about,
and she was answering, for a while. Then she stopped. She dropped
high school and got out of Isaacs reach.
And now, five
months later, Isaac is still lamenting his loss in his own way. He
spends most of his days in his underwear, lying in bed, watching
MTV, and jerking off. He had more time for his pals, when he was
juggling us, and his time with her.
I saw her
recently, in the street. I didn't say hello, and she was pretending
that she's not seeing me. She dyed her hair raven-black, she looks
so different now. Isaac wasn't letting her change her hair color,
wear dresses, or anything that would ruin his fantasy. Such a
creep, eh?
That there is
the building, you can see it from here, third floor terrace, that's
the apartment where Isaac and Cleit abode.
I can guess
what that vanilla face creep is doing right now.
Chapter two
creep
'…
Sayonara bitches,
I'll scratch
you where it itches,
Summer
glamour, boy,
Creaming on the beaches…'
Says Nadia.
She comes to visit me every couple of hours. She speaks to me from
the TV screen. She says she loves me and wants to give birth to my
children.
My girlfriend
was a redhead. I hear, she's not anymore. Redhead. And my
girlfriend.
She's
gone.
I wish she
has a facebook account, or somethin' like that, so I can spy on
her. If she'd lock in, I'd just make a profile with the picture of
some Cambodian baby, send her a request, and 'Oh my god, it's so
cute!', and she'd let me in, and I'd see her through the eyes of a
Cambodian baby.
