Many Shades of Gray (9 page)

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you and that guy and his attitude toward you. He acts as if he owns you. I’ve done a lot of research on him.”

“Why?”

“When a man hands me a million dollar check, I want to know something about him, like why. And what the hell he’s trying to buy.”

“He was only trying to help the bookstores stay open.”

“I don’t believe it,” Tommy answered. “He found out about us. I may not have the resources to get the information as quickly, but I can still get it. He’s been digging into your past, our past,” he amended, “for months and I don’t like it. I know how the guy treats people, like he owns them.”

“He’s not Donald Trump.”

“I know he’s not. He’s richer and more devious. He thinks money buys everything, including people. I just don’t want you hurt.”

“When did you start worrying about what would hurt me and what wouldn’t? You sure as hell didn’t give a damn about my feelings twelve years ago,” Janice snapped. She wanted badly to throw something at him. He had a nerve talking about Simon. It wasn’t Simon who’d hurt her, it was Tommy.

“Do you think you know everything about Simon Kohl that you need to know?”

“If I don’t it’s my business, isn’t it? It’s my life.”

“Are you sure about that? One minute you tell me you have to write, that you don’t have time to help me, the next he gives you permission to do so and look, here you are, your schedule is freed up.”

“Simon didn’t give me permission.”

“That’s what it looked like from where I stood.”

“He doesn’t own me.”

“Right.”

“He doesn’t.”

“Whose house are you living in?”

Janice cringed and refused to answer.

“Who pays your salary?”

“I earn my money.”

“Yeah, right.”

Again Janice cringed. “Why are you doing this?”

“Just conversation.” Tommy smiled. “Tell me who manages your money.” He looked at her face and smiled again. “Don’t tell me, Simon Kohl. You don’t think he owns you, think again. You sold your books to him, and then you sold yourself.” He picked up her hand and flicked his thumb over the sapphire and diamond ring. “You’re everything you said you would never be.” He hunched his shoulders. “But like you said, it’s your life.”

“I’m marrying him.”

“Good, I could see the love between the two of you.”

Janice knew she should end the conversation, stop talking with Tommy about her private life. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, I’ve seen you two together twice now and the first time, you looked as if you wanted to kill him. You were glaring at him so hard that the man’s heart should have stopped.” His lips twitched and he paused. “Of course some of your reaction might have been to seeing me again.”

“I had no reaction to seeing you.”

“Then that was a strange way for a woman to treat the man she’s going to marry, the man she loves, within moments of having it announced to the world. And just now, for example, he attempted to kiss you goodbye and you turned your head. I’m only going by what I see. What’s wrong, Mary Jo, don’t you love him?”

“There are many ways to care for a person.” She tossed her hair, trying not to let him rile her. She was determined that she wouldn’t tell Tommy that she loved Simon. Why should she? She hadn’t even admitted it to Simon.

“And you care for him, is that it?” Tommy asked, knowing that he was annoying her. “Does he care for you also?”

“Look, Tommy, how Simon and I feel about each other is not your concern.”

“I agree, but if you aren’t marrying the man for love, then that means it’s something else, something he has that you want. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but that would mean he bought you. Sort of makes you his slave, wouldn’t it? Maybe you have helped the cause, Mary Jo. Now instead of our people being hunted and captured, we can sell ourselves into slavery for a few trinkets and our name in the papers.” He smiled. “Ready to start working?”

It was well after midnight when Tommy pulled up in front of Simon Kohl’s mansion and turned toward Mary Jo.

“Nice place, Janice.”

“Janice?”

“That’s your name now, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but I thought you weren’t going to use it.”

“Why not? You’re not Mary Jo Adams. When she returns I’ll use the name. Until then, while we’re working together, I’ll call you Janice.”

She smiled at him, a weak, uncertain smile. She knew he was saying he was disappointed in her and his concession to use the new name she’d given herself expressed his disapproval.

Somewhere inside her she didn’t want that from him. As much as she still hated him she didn’t want him to not respect her. His anger she could deal with, but she didn’t know if she could deal with his lack of respect for who she was now, for what she had become. She couldn’t think of anything to say to him, so she just smiled, feeling inadequate, not remembering having ever felt that way in Tommy’s presence.

“Nice place you have here,” Tommy repeated.

She almost said that it wasn’t hers, but of course he was already aware of that, so she said nothing.

“Goodnight, Janice.” He stared and she got out, wondering what she had been waiting for. Was it for Tommy to open the door, for him to say something nice, for him to kiss her? She shivered. She didn’t know what she had waited for.

She went into the mansion and walked up the spiral staircase to her bedroom.

“You’re awfully late.”

“I didn’t know I had a curfew,” she said, turning to where Simon sat in a chair by the window. “What were you doing? Spying on me again?”

“I was waiting for you,” he answered.

“Did you see anything that interested you?”

“Where have you been? I know there are no bookstores that are open this late.”

“You forget Tommy has his own store. He can keep it open as long as he likes.”

“Is that where you were, in Tommy Strong’s bookstore?”

He’d turned from the window and was staring at her. “All of this time, is that where you were?”

“Why the third degree?”

“I didn’t know that was what I was doing. I was only asking.”

“And I told you, but still you’re asking and you’re beginning to annoy me.” She walked past him, stripping off her clothes and tossing them into a chair, thinking that was a Janice act. Mary Jo would either hang up her clothes or put them in the hamper. She knew no one would take care of it for her. She turned the water on in her shower and climbed inside, letting the hot water wash away the tension she’d shouldered the entire day. When she was done, she still felt the weight of it but she couldn’t hide in there forever.

She opened the door, not surprised that Simon was standing there waiting for her.

“Here,” he said and handed her the towel. “I don’t know if I need to tell you this again but somehow I get the feeling that I should. I will not tolerate your sleeping around.”

“Have you known me to sleep around?”

“I’m not kidding, Janice.”

“Neither am I.”

“I don’t want you sleeping with Tommy Strong.”

“Then suppose you tell me who I can sleep with?”

He walked up to her, tilted her chin with his finger and warned, “You’re trying my patience. Don’t push me too hard or you’re going to force me to push back.”

“You don’t own me, Simon.” Again she noticed that strange quirk of his jaw and a flash of something in his eyes.

He lifted her finger with her engagement ring. “We’re getting married.”

“That doesn’t mean that you own me.”

“It does mean that I have the right to expect you not to embarrass me, not to go screwing around. How the hell do you think it looks when you’re climbing out of this guy’s truck at all hours of the night?”

He had almost said what he wanted, but now wasn’t the time. Janice was more combative than usual. He couldn’t let her know now how much it mattered to him. He’d have to make her believe that it was because of his reputation.

“Come to bed,” he said and held out his hand. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’m tired,” she answered and walked away. He sucked in his breath as she dropped the towel and headed for the bed, not bothering with a gown or even one of his shirts that she sometimes liked to wear. Simon knew her plan. She was going to torture him, lie there naked in bed with him growing harder by the second, and she was going to turn over and go to sleep. Yes, he was well aware of her tactic. She’d done it before, anytime she’d gotten angry and wanted to teach him a lesson.

Tonight he wasn’t in the mood to be reprimanded for asking what he had a right to ask. He went to her drawer, retrieved the first thing he saw and tossed it at her. “I suggest you put that on, because if you decide you’re going to sleep in the buff I’m going to make love to you.”

“You mean rape me?” She threw the gown to the floor.

“Call it what you will, but I’m not kidding.” He retrieved the the garment and held it out to her. “You’ve got five seconds.” He waited while she debated the matter and for once seemed to know that he meant business. She yanked the garment over her head.

“What’s wrong with you, Simon? You’re acting crazy.”

He climbed into the bed beside her and turned his back to her. Yes, he was acting crazy, like a man possessed, a man afraid of losing something he valued. He had yet to know what it was about the woman in his bed that turned him into someone he didn’t like. He only knew that she did and he was tired of putting up with it.

As hungry as he was for her body, he didn’t want to touch her, not after she’d been in the company of her former lover for hours, not after she’d taken hours getting dressed for Tommy in front of him, as though he didn’t matter, as though they weren’t engaged, as though they had not been in each other lives for three years. As though she didn’t care.

Simon shuddered and turned, surprised to find Janice staring at him. His resolve vanished and he crushed her to him, kissing her deeply. He saw fear slide into her eyes and her fear slid into his soul and froze him. He stopped instantly. He couldn’t believe what he’d almost done. He released her and stared at her until he saw the fear replaced by confusion. He didn’t blame her; he was confused as hell himself.

The thought occurred to him to move to another room but that would be admitting defeat, that he couldn’t lie next to her in bed and not have her. He had to prove to both of them that he could.

Besides, he didn’t like that momentary look of fear in her eyes and if he left her now, only God knew what she would make of that. She’d probably think he had planned to rape her. He moved his body as close to the edge of the bed as he could get, knowing that she was still awake. After about an hour of silence he said to her, “I’m not going to pounce on you. You don’t have to stand guard.”

“Simon, what’s wrong? Why don’t you just tell me?”

“I’m just tired, baby.”

“Are you sure that’s all?”

“I’m sure,” he said, moving to lie on his back, opening his arms for her, wondering if she would come to him. She did. He sighed and closed his arms around her. “Go to sleep, baby,” he said. He kissed her forehead and promptly fell asleep with her in his arms.

When he woke Janice was still in his arms, awake and staring at him, a puzzled look on her face.

“Have you been awake all night?”

“Off and on.” She smiled.

“Why, is something wrong?” He ignored the flutter in his chest and waited.

“Nothing happened with Tommy,” she began and looked more directly at him. “Nothing’s going to happen with him.”

“Why are you telling me? You said it wasn’t any of my business.”

Janice smiled. “Simon, I’m not taking the bait this morning. I’ve been thinking about it and I guess you did have a reason to be upset. I could have called and told you I was going to be out so late.”

“It would have been the considerate thing to do.” He watched as she rubbed her chin and studied him before speaking again.

“I’m not very considerate of you or your feelings am I?”

“As much as I’d love to say it’s not true I’m afraid I’ll have to be truthful. No, you’re not very considerate of me. Sometimes I get the feeling you don’t even like me.”

“That’s not true.”

“I hope not.”

“Simon, I’m not very good at this mushy stuff. Call me crazy, but I like fighting. I like fighting with you. I thought you did too. I thought that was us, our thing, that neither of us felt the need to mess things up with all the crap other people bring into their lives.”

Simon lifted his body on one elbow and stared curiously at her. “What kind of crap are you talking about?”

“You know, always kissing in public, getting jealous if you see the other person smile at someone else.”

“Since you don’t do any of those things, I suppose you’re talking about me.” He closed his eyes. “I can understand why you like our fighting,” he said as he opened his eyes again. “It always nets another piece of jewelry for you, but what do I get?” he teased. “You’ve never bought me jewelry.”