March (Calendar Girl #3) (8 page)

“Look, your sister Angelina knows the truth.” Tony’s eyes widened and his jaw clenched. “I didn’t tell her! I swear. She figured it out last week when we shopped. Said she’d known since college.”

Tony took in a breath and let it out, scraping his hand along his five o’clock shadow. Christ the man was handsome. “Jesus, so what did you say? Does Hector know?”

“He was there.” I looked down at my bare feet. Hector had painted my toes a siren red along with my fingers. He did a great job. “Your sister basically wondered why you hadn’t come out.”

“And what did you say?”

“Me?” I held a hand to my heart and shook my head. “I didn’t say jack shit!” I could hear the tone in my voice getting louder, but I couldn’t help it. Irritation at the entire situation was like a fully loaded gun and the trigger was being squeezed. “Hector basically told her that you didn’t want to disappoint your family, and the business and the boxing league could be issues. But mostly you were worried about how your mother would take it.” Tony’s shoulders slumped. He turned and braced both hands on the counter. It was as if the weight of the entire Fasano name hung like a heavy albatross around his neck. 

“You know, Mia, it’s so tiring. Always hiding, worrying about who might find out, what it would mean to Mama and the family. How the public might take it. I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting my family and Hector in the process just for my own selfish desires.”

I walked the couple steps and placed both hands on his back. “It’s not selfish to want to be with the person you love, Tony.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No, it isn’t. It’s your basic human right. And Hector loves you. He wants nothing more than for you to be shouting it from the rooftops or at the very least allowing him to.” I chuckled and rested my forehead on his back. He turned around and gathered me into his arms. Yep, they were wonderful. Warm, strong, and secure. Just as I’d expected. Tony was quite possibly the best hugger around.

“I don’t know what to do.” Tony whispered into the crown of my head.

“Yes you do. You’ve always known. You just have to do it.”

He shook his head. “The timing hasn’t been right.”

I leaned back and looked into his eyes. His arms stayed loosely around my waist. “It’s never going to be a good time to hurt someone.” Tony winced, and I placed a hand over his heart. “But, once it’s done, it’s done forever. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. You move on. Everyone moves on.”

“And the league?”

“Angelina said that you weren’t that involved anymore anyway, and it’s no one’s business.” He tilted his head to the side, his eyes focused on mine. “Besides, as a huge sponsor, they wouldn’t risk losing you. Plus, look at you? You’re a giant among little people. And you’re fucking hot. Everyone—and I mean
everyone
—will want to see all this,” I waved a hand up and down his front, “slicked up and beating the shit out of another guy…gay or not.” I winked and grinned.

Tony laughed then backed up. He swept a hand through his black hair. “And the business?”

“Again, Angelina says she’s Marketing. She’ll hire some fancy publicist PR guru to work their magic for a shit ton of money. Thinks it’s something that will be big news for a short time, no more than a few months. Then it will blow over and business as usual. The food is too good and too affordable to go under for something like the President’s sexual orientation.”

He sighed, went over to the fridge and pulled out a beer and twisted off the top. In two huge slugs he finished it. Watching Tony eat and drink was like watching a professional eating competition. The man could just put things away as if his jaw was unhinged.

“And what of Mama, the family line? Everything is
not
so easy.” His tone turned a smidge harsh.

I nodded and tilted my head to the side. “It will be hard and she may get mad, cry, or hell, she may even throw something. That is one fiery Italian!” And the smile was back. All white, even teeth. Too pretty for his own good. Then again, in my experience, most gay guys were too pretty or too good looking. “And you and Hector talked about having a family?” I asked dying to know, but being too afraid to stick my nose any further in their business.

Tony grabbed another beer and popped the top off tossing the cap on the counter where the other one was. “Yeah, he says he definitely wants to have kids and soon.” Tony’s smile got brighter, as if the sun was shining directly on him. Only thing, he wants us to be married or have some type of commitment ceremony first.”

“I can see that. If you’re going to bring a child into the world, the smart thing to do would be to get married first.”

Tony’s lips pursed together. “I guess I just never saw us getting married. It seems so old-fashioned and formal. Our relationship has always just been. There was never any pomp and circumstance. We just fit together you know? Like puzzle pieces.”

“Is that how Hector feels about it? Because even only knowing Hector for the past couple weeks, he definitely seems like the type of guy that would appreciate a little pomp and circumstance. A real big show of affection.”

“You’ve been hanging out with Angie too much, Mia. You’re turning into one of them.”

I shook my head emphatically. “Nuh uh. No way. If I ever get married, which the odds are very, very slim, I’d just go to Vegas.”

Tony’s arm came out and he pointed at me. His smile now split from ear to ear. “See! I agree with that. A marriage in Vegas. Perfect!”

“Over my dead body,” said the voice of none other than Mona Fasano from behind us.

“Mama! We didn’t hear you come in.” Tony went over to his mother and kissed both cheeks then hugged her. Hector was standing behind her with daggers in his eyes. I shook my head and tried with eye gestures to express that it wasn’t what he thought.

Mona came over to me. She pulled me into a hug, kissed both cheeks then held me back at arm’s length. Her steely eyes traced my form. “Yep, perfect for making my babies,” she gushed before clapping her hands together. “Hector my boy,” she called over her shoulder.

“Yes, Mama,” Hector returned.

“What are we cooking, dear boy?” She turned and placed a hand on his cheek. The way she held his face was clearly affectionate. She loved him like a son. Hopefully, that would help when the truth came out. If Tony ever got his head out of his ass.

“Enchiladas!”

“Not Italian?” I asked surprised that the Italian mother of all mothers, wouldn’t be making one of her famous dishes.

Mona shook her head. “No. When I cook with my Hector, we make food from his heritage. Gives me the opportunity to broaden my skills. Someday I will make a dish that’s Italian and Mexican fusion of cultures and sell it at the restaurant.” Mona pushed on my hips edging me out of the kitchen to one of the bar stools. “Now, you go sit and we’ll talk while Hector and I cook.
Capisce
?”

Sounded good to me. Tony handed me a beer then took the stool next to mine.

“So, what is this I hear about a Vegas wedding?” Mama Mona went right for the gut.

“Ma, we were just talking. It didn’t mean anything.” Tony said it to his mother’s back while she worked over the stove, but his eyes were glued to Hector’s. “I’d never run off and marry Mia. Never.” His voice was breathy, as if he’d whispered it loud enough for all of us to hear on purpose. Hector’s eyes closed slowly. When they opened they were back to being filled with love, lust, and hope. It was so clear how much Hector adored Tony and vice versa. The stigma attached to their love was creating a wedge that could eventually bring down the wall around their relationship. If that happened, everything would come out in a flood that could drown what they had. That thought alone drove nails into my soul.

“Good, because you are a good Catholic boy. You will get married in our church. St. Peter’s. The same church your father and I were married in all those years ago,” she said with triumph. “Admittedly, I was worried for some time that you would never marry. Now that we have Mia…” Her head turned and her smile in my direction was glorious. It literally shattered my heart into a thousand guilty shards. “…our family will be complete and you will carry on the Fasano name.”

Mona put down the wooden spoon she was holding, turned around and hugged Tony. “You make me and your father so proud. If he was here today, he’d bless this union happily.” She wiped a few tears from her eyes, cleared her throat and went back to work. Hector swallowed visibly, choking back the emotion I knew had to be tearing him apart.

“Speaking of Church, Father Donahue will be happy to perform the marriage. You’ll need to sign up for counseling though. Perhaps this coming weekend?”

I’m pretty sure my eyes popped out of their sockets. Church? Counseling? I shook my head. “Um…I don’t know about that,” I started, but Tony cut me off.

“Ma, we’re not decided on a date. We also haven’t discussed our religion.”

Mona’s head flew back as if she’d been stricken. “What? That’s one of the first things you discuss. Mia dear, are you Catholic?”

“I’m not anything. I uh…” Mona’s eyes seared into mine like white hot points. “I wasn’t raised in a religion.”

She blew out a breath. “Have you been baptized Christian?” Her tone was accusatory. Instantly fear tingled against my spine which automatically triggered my defense mechanism.

“No.” I clenched my jaw, my spine straightening.

“Have you been married before?” She placed a hand on her hip, the other still holding the spoon.

I shook my head, and she mimicked it. “Son, she’s going to have to start coming to our church immediately. In order to get married, she’s going to need to be in good standing with St. Peters, and you will likely have to undergo the longer version of counseling in order for our priest to marry you to a non-Catholic. And, she’ll need to be baptized. Soon. That is paramount. We need to get started immediately.”

The weight of what she’d said flattened me like a steamroller. I had to get out of there. “Oh my god,” I got up off the chair feeling freaked out. My lungs felt tight, and I could feel a bead of sweat building at my hairline. I couldn’t breathe. Air. I needed air, right now. In a jumble of limbs I rushed to the balcony, flung open the door and sucked in the chilly March Chicago air. Thank God. No, not God. There would be no more talk of God that evening. I’d make sure of it.

Two strong arms came around me. Even though they were wonderful, they weren’t the arms I wanted. Wes. I wished he was there. He’d get a kick out of this. From escort to mail-order bride. “Mia, it’s okay. Don’t let Ma get to you. We’ll figure this out.” Tony held me from behind. I took in long, slow breaths. The rapid beat of my heart started to go back to normal. When I felt I could stand on my own two feet I turned around and held a hand out to Tony pushing him back.

“You have got to tell your mother the truth. This is going too far.”

He hung his head in shame. “I know. I just…it’s so heavy. You know?”

“Yeah I do.”

We both sat down in the lounge chairs facing one another. “But I’m not the only one that’s getting slammed here. Hector is not handling this well.”

Tony’s head shot up and there were worry lines at the corner of his eyes. “What do you mean?”

I clasped his hands with both of mine and squeezed tight. “By not accepting who you are, you’re not accepting him.” Tony’s eyes narrowed but he kept quiet. “This omission of the truth…I hate to say it Tony, but it needs to be said.” He tipped his chin gesturing me to continue. “Look at it from Hector’s perspective. You’re basically saying that he’s not good enough. That his love is not worth the risk.” 

He gasped and pulled back. “That is not true! I love him.”

“Really? Then why are you hiding it?”

“You know why.” Tony’s voice was scathing, his jaw tight.

“Not good enough. Those are excuses, and after years, what? Close to fifteen years you’ve been using those excuses. It’s time to set yourself free. Make him your priority. The same way he does you. All these years he could have outted you to your family, your friends, your business but he didn’t. He has been content to stay in the background as long as he had you. Your happiness is what’s important to him, but I swear, this plan of yours to fool your family to keep the charade going…it’s killing him. I can see it in his eyes, why can’t you!”

“Fuck! Why did this have to get so complicated?”

“It’s life, Tony. Grow up. Choose Hector no matter the cost. That’s what he’s done for you. He put your happiness above his own because he chose
you.
”

With that parting shot I left the balcony. Hector and his mother were waiting in the living room when I walked through heading to my room.

“Mia…” Hector’s voice shook when he said my name, but I kept walking. Then I realized that in my anger I was being rude. To my clients, to Mona, to the people I’d come to care a great deal for.

I stopped before the hall and turned around. “I’m sorry. Suddenly I’m not feeling well. I’m going to bed for the night. Thank you Mona for coming. I’m sure your dinner would have been great.”

Hector came over to me and stopped my progression down the hall. He pulled me into a hug and tears filled my eyes. “I’m sorry. We’re sorry. Both of us.” Hector spoke so quietly only I could hear. Jesus, this man was incredible. 

“I know. I just need some space after tonight.”

He let me go, and I went back to my room. I laid down on the bed, grabbed my phone and dialed the one person I shouldn’t. It rang four times before the answering machine picked up.

“You’ve got Wes, leave a message after the beep and I’ll get back to you soon as possible.” Wes’s voice was a strong rumble that came through the phone and powered straight into my heart.

**Beep**

“Hey, it’s me, uh, Mia. I just…” I took a long breath and tried to think of what I wanted to say but came up with nothing that sounded less than desperate. “I needed to hear your voice.” I closed my eyes. “We’ll talk soon. Okay? Bye.”

C
HAPTER 8

For the next week, things were strained between the trio we’d become. I was an outsider, and for the first time in three weeks, I felt like one. Tony was stressed, barely grunting hello’s and goodbyes in the mornings. Hector was nicer, softer, still stressed, though it wasn’t directed at me. Clearly, he was having issues with Tony and was reluctant to talk to me about them, which was understandable. I’d thrown a tizzy fit when dealing with the mother last weekend. I wasn’t proud of my actions but still held fast to the fact that it needed to be said. The continued dance around this issue was ravaging the relationship and torturing both parties. Not to mention the strain of lying to one’s family had to be hitting their consciences hard.