Marie Sexton - Coda 04 - Strawberries for Dessert (28 page)

“I know.”
“What will you do when I leave?”
“I’ll follow.”
225

He was quiet for a moment, but when he spoke again, I could hear hope in his voice. “Anywhere?”

 

“
Everywhere
.”

His breath caught, and he tried to pull away from me, but I tightened my grip around him. He stilled again, but he was straining away from me, his breath ragged, and I knew he was trying desperately not to cry in front of me again. “Let me go,” he whispered, but I only held him tighter.

“Stop fighting it, Cole. Stop fighting
me
.”
“I hate for you to see me like this,” he said shakily.

I put my lips against the birthmark on the back of his neck and felt him shiver. “I don’t mind. You don’t have to hide from me, Cole. You don’t have to pretend. I know the part of you that you let the world see, and I know what’s underneath. I know you think you have to keep it hidden, and it only makes me love you more.”

He went a little bit limp in my arms then, and I felt him trembling. I could feel that wall between us crumbling down as he finally let go and allowed the tears to come.

“I’m a mess,” he said, halfway joking but halfway not. “I’m demanding and temperamental and I’m terribly high maintenance.” I laughed without even meaning to. “Do you honestly think I don’t know all that by now?”

 

“Then how could you
possibly
love me?”

I held him tighter, kept kissing his neck. “How can I
not
?” I asked. It had been so long since I’d been able to touch him. Part of me just wanted to hold him all night. The other part of me wanted only to drag him into the bedroom and tear his clothes off, throw him on the bed and make love to him forever. “Cole,” I whispered, “I can’t live without you.”

“That’s rather cliché, isn’t it, darling?”
“That doesn’t make it any less true. I need you.”
“
Why
?”

226

“To make fun of me when I’m being too serious. To remind me that there are more important things in life than climbing the corporate ladder.”

“I’m quite sure you could manage without me, love,” he said, and I was glad to hear the term of endearment, because it meant he was giving in.

“Who else is going to make sure that I don’t drink Chianti with lobster Alfredo?” I asked, and he laughed. “I love you, and I won’t let you stop me from saying it.”

It took him a moment and one deep, shaking breath to answer. “I don’t want to stop you,” he said quietly. “Not really.”

That caused a lump to form in my throat. I held him tighter. I put my lips against that butterfly on the back of his neck and said again, “I love you.”

And finally, he relaxed in my arms completely. He leaned back against me with a soft sigh of surrender, and I knew then that I had won. “Jonathan,” he said quietly, “I love you too.”

All of the fear and anxiety I had felt coming here, and the nervousness at seeing him, and the relief of getting to hold him again, and the happiness at
finally
hearing those words and knowing that I had him back—it was all too much. Suddenly I was the one fighting not to cry, and he must have sensed it, because he turned around and pulled me close.

“I haven’t missed you at all,” I managed to say in a hoarse whisper.

“I haven’t missed you either,” he said quietly. “Certainly not every single minute of every single day.” His arms were tight around me and mine around him. His skin was soft and warm, and his hair smelled like strawberries like it always did. And everything about it felt right.

“Please don’t leave me again,” I begged, and my voice broke on the words.

 

“I never wanted to leave you at all, love.”

 

227

“Then why?”
“I couldn’t stay. And you were too proud to come with me.”

“But….” I had to stop and think about that, and it helped me calm down. It helped me get my bearings again. He was right. He had asked me twice to come with him. But I was too proud to allow him to support me. And with a regular office job, I would have been tied to Phoenix. I never would have had the freedom to come after him if it weren’t for the job I had, working for him. I pulled away enough to see his face. “But you gave me the job—”

“It was sheer luck that Chester decided to retire, but I hoped it would change your mind.”

 

“Why didn’t you just say so?”

“I felt like it had to be your idea.” He shrugged. “Maybe it was foolish. But I was afraid you would think I was using the job to manipulate you, and I really did want you to take it. I knew I could trust you, whether you came after me or not.” He put his arms around my neck and brushed his lips over mine. “I’ve been waiting for you for ages, love,” he said. “I’d almost given up. What on earth took you so long?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Either I’m an idiot or you really need to work on your communication skills.”

He smiled. “I suppose it could be a little of both.”
“I met Raul today.”
“And?”
“I may have to fire him.”

He laughed. It was so good to hear. Already, I felt like we were back to normal. Like everything was perfect. I put my arms around him and I pulled him close. I kissed his neck, and he tipped his head back to give me better access to the soft skin there. “I made you dinner,” I said as I kissed him.

“Oh my,” he said jokingly. “Is it frozen pizza?”

 

228

 

“I wish I could say it was sautéed pasta with lobster. But it’s actually sloppy joes.”

“And the wine?”
“I bought the Arbor Mist Peach Chardonnay.”

“Well that’s just dreadful, darling. The Blackberry Merlot is obviously the better choice.”

“They were sold out.” My hands were wandering now. I pulled up his shirt just to feel the smooth skin of his back. I pushed him back so he was sitting on the dresser behind him, and he wrapped his legs around my hips and let me push against him. “I know you’re probably starving, and I should let you eat. But I can’t wait to get these clothes off of you.”

“I’m not sure what to tell you,” he said. “I am rather hungry, but I’m quite sure I smell your sloppy joes burning. I suspect they’re quite inedible by now.”

I unbuttoned his pants as I kissed him. I pushed my hand into his open fly, caressing the bulge in his briefs. “There’s always frozen pizza.”

His breath caught for a moment, and then he said breathlessly, “How about we skip dinner and go straight to dessert?”

“Strawberries?”
“What a perfect choice, love.”
“I haven’t been able to eat them since you left.”

“And do they still have the same effect on you?” he asked with a wicked grin.

 

“As a matter of fact, they do.”

 

He laughed as he put his arms around my neck and pulled me close. “I’m incredibly happy to hear that.”

 

229

Date: September 30
From: Cole
To: Jared

Good lord, Sweets, can you please stop being so smug? If you gloat any more I imagine you’ll become absolutely unbearable. Tell that big angry cop you live with that I’m sorry I turned his sweet loving partner into such a know-it-all. As if he didn’t hate me enough already.

Yes, fine, I admit it, you’re right. Jonathan and I are back together, and everything is peaches (and strawberries). The truth is, I’ve never been happier. And no, I will not thank you for it. You’re intolerable enough already!

We’re back in Phoenix now, and we’ll be here for a couple of weeks, at least. We came back for George’s birthday, because I truly believe that nobody should have to spend their birthday alone. I decided to buy him Diamondbacks season tickets. I wanted to get him a clubhouse box, but Jonathan said it was too ostentatious. He said the infield would be sufficient. Well, infield, outfield—what’s the difference really? And I figured George might as well be close enough to actually see those men on the field (even if he doesn’t fully appreciate them) so I bought a third-base box instead. George was so happy, he practically cried. And Jonathan? Honey, he went through the roof! Well how was I supposed to know that all boxes were off-limits? He really should have been more specific, don’t you think? I swear, that man is so aggravating, it’s a wonder I put up with up him at all.

Well, anyway, it’s nothing to worry about. I’ll apologize, and Jonathan will forgive me. Besides, why shouldn’t I spend my money on George if I want to? I have a family now. A tiny little family, since Jon and I have only the one real parent between us, but a family nonetheless. I absolutely adore George, and the truth is, I think he rather likes me. And not just because of the box seats.

230

I have to go, Sweets, but before I do, there’s something I’ve been dying to say. I’ve never been able to say it before. I could barely even admit it to myself, because it just seemed so impossible.

But not anymore.

I’ll tell Jonathan, of course, when I’m feeling brave. I know he’ll understand. But I’ll say it here first, to you. I want to see how it feels to let the words take form. I want to know what it’s like to allow them to become real and true, and to acknowledge that just maybe, someday, this wish will come true too. The thing is, Jared…

I’ve always wanted to be a father.

 

About the Author
M
ARIE
S
EXTON
was always good at the technical aspects of writing

but never had any ideas for stories. After graduating from Colorado State University, she worked for eleven years at an OB/GYN clinic. She quit the clinic at about the same time she started reading M/M romances. At some point in the ensuing months, the static in her head cleared, and her first story was born.

Marie lives in Colorado. She’s a fan of just about anything that involves muscular young men piling on top of each other. In particular, she loves the Denver Broncos and enjoys going to the games with her husband. Matt and Jared often tag along. Marie has one daughter, two cats, and one dog, all of whom seem bent on destroying what remains of her sanity. She loves them anyway.

Visit Marie’s web site at http://www.MarieSexton.net or find her on Facebook.
Also by MARIE SEXTON
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com