Marlowe and the Spacewoman (8 page)

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Authors: Ian M. Dudley

Tags: #mystery, #humor, #sci-fi, #satire, #science fiction, #thriller

BOOK: Marlowe and the Spacewoman
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Tape?  What would adhesive tape have to do with her story?  Marlowe didn’t know what she was talking about.  Another point in the loony bin…well, bin.

“First, I look like Humphrey Bogart because I had my face surgically altered to look like him.  I’ve looked like a lot of fictional detectives in my day.  Just a sort of hobby of mine.  Second, I would prefer to hear your story in person rather than viewing a recording.  If it’s any incentive, afterward I’ll be taking custody of you and we’ll relocate you someplace a little more hospitable than your current situation.”

She sighed again, sat back down on the bunk, crossed her legs, closed her eyes, and launched into her story.

“My name is Nina Minari.  I’m the commander of the FSEP Odyssey I mission, Earth’s first voyage to another star system.  I’m also the sole survivor.”

Marlowe interrupted.  “FSEP?”

Nina opened her eyes long enough to roll them, a very fetching maneuver.  Obviously this was a question she’d heard before, many times.  “Fess-ep, F-S-E-P.  The Federal Space Exploration Program.  It replaced NASA in 1974.”

“Ah,” said Marlowe, still completely in the dark.

House piped in, a soft whisper in Marlowe’s ear.  “Big Fed space programs, first NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, and then FSEP.  Underfunded mandates to explore space and expand the boundaries of human existence.  Both came to dire ends, NASA after the lunar landing deceptions came to light, FSEP after a funding misappropriations scandal involving, coincidentally, the second lunar landing program.”

Nina continued, unaware of House’s interruption.  “We left Earth on August 11, 2007.  Our destination was the 55 Cancri B system.  Relative travel time was thirteen months until arrival, with a sixteen month stay for surveying and scientific exploration.  Then another thirteen months to return, also relative.”

“I’m confused.  What do family members have to do with this?”

“Do they not teach anyone physics these days?  Not relatives.  Relative.  As in relativity.  Relativistic effects?”

Obedere broke in.  “That’s the real kicker of her story, old friend.  Their ship was traveling at nearly the speed of light, so time passed more slowly for them, or more quickly for us, or something along those lines.”

“Ah ha,” said Marlowe without conviction.

“Obedere’s explanation, although rudimentary, is accurate,” House reassured Marlowe.

“We experienced a time dilation.  While time on Earth passed ‘normally,’ time for us during transit passed more slowly.  The relativistic effect of traveling at more than half the speed of light.”

“So how much time passed on Earth while you were gone?”

She answered in a tired, frosty tone.  “I left in 2007.  Take the current year and subtract 2007 from it and you have the answer to that question.”

“2007, that’s the old calendar, isn’t it?”

“I have no idea.”

“Well, this is 8 HMHG, the 8th year of His Most Honorable the Governor’s reign.”

“I’m afraid I’ve missed out on what you would call recent history.  The original PAT, wait, don’t ask, I know, Planned Absence Time, was one hundred and thirty eight years.  But we didn’t stay the full sixteen months.”

“Oh, this is where the tale gets all weepy,” chortled Obedere, rocking back and forth in his chair, eyes intent on Nina.

“When we entered the system, we passed through a debris field orbiting 55 Cancri.  In the early stages of the mission planning, the scientists swore up and down that there was no debris field, that what was actually being seen was background radiation misinterpreted as a sphere of debris orbiting the star.  Apparently the math was pretty convincing, but they were wrong.  The impact of thousands of grains, pebbles, rocks, and boulders severely damaged the ship.  If we hadn’t almost completed the braking maneuver when the collisions occurred, the ship would have certainly been destroyed.  As it was, the rest of the crew, my executive officer, engineer,” and then Nina choked up for a moment, “and doctor were all killed.  Only I survived arrival.

“We had planned to survey the entire system, focusing most of our effort on a probable Earth-like planet named Hare in orbit a quarter AU from the star.  However, after the damage suffered upon arrival, I was barely able to get into orbit around the large gas giant, Tortoise.  The supply ship sent ahead of us was supposed to be in orbit there, and amazingly enough, it was.  Also damaged, but intact for the most part.  I managed to repair Odyssey’s drive system using parts from the supply ship and raw materials harvested from some of Tortoise’s moons.

“The repairs weren’t perfect.  I had to reduce the amount of mass returning in order to achieve the necessary acceleration.  I dumped all of the equipment, entire sections of the ship, anything that could be safely jettisoned.  Then I fired up the engines and came back.  I miscalculated on the deceleration, though.  I entered Earth’s system too fast.  I abandoned Odyssey in the escape vehicle and managed to slingshot my way around Jupiter, then Mars, then Venus, consuming the extra delta-V in their gravity wells, until I was traveling slow enough to enter Earth orbit.  Almost four months in that cramped lifeboat with nothing to do but wait for orbital insertions and perform course corrections.  

“It’s been a long, painful, lonely journey, and upon my much anticipated arrival home, I’m arrested and treated like an escaped inmate from an insane asylum.”

Marlowe leaned against the round frame of the cell door.  It was quite a tale.

Obedere laughed throatily.  “And she has an answer for every hole in her story.  For example, she put up a valiant, and initially successful struggle against the constables who first tried to arrest her.  Not bad for someone wasting away in the zero gee of space.”

“Gravity was always at a constant 1.5 gees, first while accelerating towards Earth, and then at the halfway point when I turned around and started decelerating.  When you’re traveling near the speed of light, you don’t stop on a dime.  It takes a long time to slow down.”

“You see, old friend?  An answer for everything.  And this one also nicely explains away the lack of de-calcification in her bones.  In fact, she has slightly elevated levels of calcium.  If she’d been in zero gee for a prolonged period, her bones would have weakened.  And having to jettison everything before she left this other star system, well, that’s why she doesn’t have any pictures or survey data.”

“I do have proof, but it’s on the Odyssey, which is in an extremely large and elliptical orbit around the Sun right now, assuming it didn’t escape the gravity well.  I didn’t have much room on the escape vehicle, and had to be selective about what I brought back.  Actually, if you want proof I’m telling the truth, the Odyssey should be visible from Earth, spewing a very bright, very long vapor trail as it decelerates.  Just have your astronomers look.  I have a good idea where they should direct their telescopes.”

“Ah, we seem to have elicited new information from you!”  Obedere smiled expansively.  “And you feel these repetitive sessions are a waste of time.”

Nina closed her eyes and took several deep breaths.  “Will anyone answer my questions now?  I think I’ve been very patient, considering the number of times I’ve answered your questions.”

Obedere spun his chair around to face Marlowe, ignoring Nina.  “Are you taking custody of her now?”

Marlowe nodded.

“Then I’ll need you to sign the appropriate paperwork.”

“Mail it to me.”

Obedere’s gaze grew distant for a moment, then returned.  “Done.”

House’s voice piped up in Marlowe’s ear.  “I have received the document, and stripped away the multitude of viruses, worms, and trojans embedded in it.  All of them appear designed to thwart any attempt to use your id box for resurrection.  I’ll do a more thorough investigation of them as time permits.  Forwarding a plain text version of the transfer documents to you now.”

Marlowe waited a moment, and then the data flooded in.  It was a fairly long file, the usual boilerplate about taking custody of the prisoner, being responsible for the prisoner’s safety and appearances at all inquiries, court dates, and tribunal sessions, if any.  The standard forfeiture of life should any of the terms not be met, which would explain the extra goodies Obedere had included in the file.  The state could execute Marlowe, but then the id box would be used to restore him.  The only lasting effect of the execution would be the shame and stigma associated with suffering capital punishment, and the loss of the ability to vote.  With the booby traps Obedere had included, Marlowe might have found such an execution a lot more permanent.  It also suggested that Obedere was going to work overtime ensuring he caught Marlowe in some sort of violation of the agreement.

Marlowe sighed, shook his head, and affixed his digital signature to the document.  “Sending back the signed copy.”

Obedere waited, grunted when he received it, and nodded.  “Very well, she’s all yours.  Try not to abuse her too much.”

Nina cleared her throat.  “Do I have any say in this?”

Obedere spun around again, clearly unhappy that his latest toy was slipping through his fingers.  “No, not really.  But I’m sure Marlowe will take good care of you.”

Obedere positively sulked as his chair wobbled him back down the hallway, Nina and Marlowe in tow, to the elevator.

“Now remember, Marlowe, Ms. Minari is your responsibility.  It’s up to you to make sure she stays within the law during her stay in the City.  Any violations incurred will result in both of you being punished.”  He giggled at that point, the effort overloading his vocal chord enhancers so it came out as a high pitched squeak.

 

 

CHAPTER 6

THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW THEIR HISTORY

(AND CIVICS) ARE DOOMED TO REPEAT IT

The march out of the Ministry of Policing went uneventfully, although Marlowe’s heart didn’t stop pounding until he was back in the Studebaker.  Nina sat beside him and stared around in, well, not exactly awe, but certainly wonder.

“I come back to Earth one hundred plus years in the future, and people are driving Studebakers again?  I have to say, a lot has changed in my absence.”

House interrupted.  “I have detected several tracking devices installed in the car.  The repair weevil has been programmed to seek out and remove them.  Please keep your speed below 50 kilometers per hour until it is finished.”

“Thanks for the tip, House.”

“I beg your pardon,” asked Nina.

“Oh, I’m talking to my House.  Via my PDI.”

“PDI?”

A new avenue of investigation occurred to Marlowe.  If Nina wasn’t from outer space, she was certainly doing a very good job of playing the part.  If she had a PDI, or scars indicating she’d once had a PDI, the game would be up right away.  He’d have to check that.

“Personal Digital Implant.”

“What on Earth is that?”

She was really staying in character, and Marlowe grudgingly allowed himself to feel impressed.  “A tiny computer implanted in the body, usually just behind and under the ear.  It’s an organizer, a mail client, video recorder, fact-finder, spell-checker, and calculator, among other things.  Comes in handy calculating the tip at restaurants.  It’s wired into the CityNet, which is a network of all the PDIs and other computers within the City limits.”

“Oh.  I think I get it.  And which city are we in?”

Marlowe started up the car, toggling the set point to the next destination, which happened to be one of the reconstitution parlors.  “The City.”

“Yes, but which city?  Oklahoma City?  New York City?  I know I came in over North America.  Oh wait, is it San Francisco?”

Marlowe turned and stared at her.  He stared for so long she jumped out of her seat.  “Hey, shouldn’t you watch where you’re driving?”

“The car’s handling that.  We just call it the City.”

“Just ‘the City’?”

“What else would you call it?”

“But aren’t there other cities?  For clarity, don’t you have to give each of them different names, so people know which city you’re talking about?”

“First off, since almost no one leaves the City, there’s no question which city-state you’re talking about.  Second, we don’t talk about the other cities.  Not much, anyway.  And on the rare occasions when we do, we call them by their names.  Mirth City, Cabbage Town, Doldrumsburg, Narcoville.  We don’t like the other city-states very much, especially Mirth City.  They’re a real bunch of bastards.”

“Did you say city-states?”

Dawning fell on Marlowe like a wet blanket from ten stories.  She was doing a really good job of staying in character.  Such a good job, in fact, that he was starting to wonder if she was telling the truth.  If she left Earth when she claimed she had, then the Big Fed was still running things on the North American continent.  The Big Collapse hadn’t happened; the events of the Forced Repulsion and subsequent Cascading Secessions hadn’t occurred yet (damn those UES bastards and their meddling!).

“OK, I guess a brief history lesson is in order.  Unfortunately, history is not my forte.  But I can have House beam a time line to your PDI.”

“I don’t have a PDI.”

She didn’t miss a beat.  Well, it was worth a shot.  “Then you’re stuck with my abbreviated and mostly accurate version.”

Marlowe took a deep breath and cleared his head.  They’d passed through the last of the Ministry of Policing checkpoints a minute earlier, so he found this relatively easy to do.

“About eighty years ago, the UES rammed some new laws through the International Court.  They had an agenda, but no one realized it at the time.  They wanted to limit the spread of the power of the Big Fed, known at the time as the United States.  One of the laws was the guaranteed human right of citizens of a city to vote to break away from a nation they no longer felt in sync with.  It was in the tiny print of a little-heralded amendment to an obscure clause put forth by the French.  Well, they were still French in those days, before the Germans annexed them.

“Anyway, once it was international law, it applied to the Big Fed as well, which was the whole point.  The UES wanted to splinter the Big Fed into tiny feuding fragments.”

“I’m sorry, but what is the UES?”

“Union of European States.  But to their surprise, none of the major cities in the Big Fed took advantage of the clause, even after a huge marketing campaign.  The only taker initially was San Fernando, which broke off from a city called Hollywood.  A lot of people talked about exercising this right, but there was never enough people angry enough to actually get anywhere with it.  Then the Last Straw happened.”  

“Last Straw?”

“The Big Fed had been pretty evenly divided politically, and the election margins were always razor thin.  The Last Straw started with the re-election of a very polarizing president.  The results were very, very close, and the members of the losing party questioned the legitimacy of the results.  They were so upset at his re-election that they started talking up secession.  The successful secession of even a few major cities would have seriously undermined the power of not just the Big Fed, but the re-elected president as well.  So his party launched a scare-tactic campaign, claiming secession would cripple the United States and that anyone for it wasn’t patriotic.  

Over the course of the next couple of years, the Big Fed president ushered in some pretty draconian anti-civil rights laws under the auspices of ‘fighting secessionism’.  These laws went to further and further extremes, the Last Straw being the attempted deportation to Mexico of twelve thousand Big Fed citizens labeled secessionists.  By coincidence, they also happened to be political opponents of the Big Fed president.  Not only did this act anger the Mexicans, but it spawned a grassroots effort to undo the laws the Big Fed president had passed.  A coalition of states got together and used the Secession Clause to force all the cities of the home state of the president out of the Big Fed.  It was known as the Forced Repulsion.  The plan was to invalidate his presidency by making him a foreigner.

“The people of that state didn’t take kindly to this action, and sent agents out to all the major cities.  Along with help from the UES, they managed to foment enough discontent to lead to the great Cascading Secessions, which effectively shattered the Big Fed.  Oh, Washington tried to save itself.  The First War of Reunification began.  It ultimately failed, but one of the first acts of that war was the unleashing of biological warfare agents on the UES member states.  The population of Europe was decimated, keeping them out of the war at home.

“But the president of the Big Fed was experiencing a tremendously low approval rating at this point, and some civic-minded generals decided that the city-state model wasn’t so bad and overthrew him.  The war ended with his death.  Twenty years later the Second War of Reunification started, but this was shorter than the last, and ended with the Washington D.C. city-state, which had started the war in a bid to restore its once awesome power over the entire northern continent, being vaporized in a nuclear attack.”

Marlowe’s gut clenched as he noticed a black Ministry of Policing flitter in the rear view mirror.  He tried to ignore the surge of panic, and just kept his eye on the tailing vessel as he continued the history lesson.

“Each city-state has been pretty much on its own since then.  Each city expands its territory outward until checked by another city-state.  Sometimes there are armed conflicts, most of the time a negotiated settlement is reached.  The big corporations see to that, because war is bad for business.  Except for the arms business, that is, but they’ve been pretty content lately with the sales generated by the mere fear of war with another city.”

Nina sat quietly, taking this in as the buildings of the City began reasserting themselves on the landscape.  “What about the Canadians?  What did they do in all this?”

“Who?”

She tried another tack.  “Mexico?  South America?”

“Well, the South American continent did attempt to get involved, trying to grab back territory they felt they had a historic claim to.  The land bridge between the two continents-”

“Central America?”

“That sounds about right.  Well, it was destroyed to prevent a large army from moving north.”

“What, they widened the Panama Canal or something?”

“No, as I was taught it, they carpet bombed the entire central portion of the continent with high yield, low rad nukes.  Twelve thousand square kilometers were reverted to ocean.”

“When did we switch to the metric system over here?”

“What other system is there?”

“Never mind.  My God, they prepared us for a multitude of different future paths, because of the projected length of our absence, but none of the possibilities included something as terrible as this.”

“Oh, I don’t know.  The City isn’t perfect, but I like it.  I’m sure you’ll get used to it.”

A piercing siren erupted from behind them.  The menacing police flitter that had been not-so-discreetly following them came roaring up, gaining rapidly.

“Ah, nuts,” said Marlowe.  “House, anything obvious we’re doing that might explain the constable coming after us?”

“I’m calculating probabilities.  I do suggest, however, that you don’t add resisting arrest to any of the possible charges by not pulling over.”

“What’s going on?” asked Nina.

“Obedere’s work, no doubt.  He’s looking for any excuse to arrest me and get you back into his clutches.  House, any ideas?  I’m having the car pull over.”

“I’m reviewing the applicable laws for visitors.  Hmm, I’ve had a thought.  Ms. Minari has not been convicted of any crimes, correct?”

“Not yet,” said Marlowe.

“Excuse me,” said Nina, “but it’s really creepy to be on only one end of this conversation.”

“Hold on, please, Nina.  We’re in a serious situation right now.  Where are you going with this, House?”

“Well, technically, although her citizenship status is in question, she is still technically in good standing.  Ipso facto-”

“She should have a BB gun.”

“Correct.”

“Huh?”  Nina again.

“But that violation only results in a fine.”

“True, but because of her citizenship status, Obedere would have an excuse to detain her until the fine is paid and her citizenship status is resolved.  And if she’s found to be a non-citizen…”

“Uh oh.  Any non-citizen found violating City law is subject to execution.”

“And you signed the custody paperwork acknowledging you would accept the same punishment she receives for crimes she commits while in your custody.”

“Excuse me,” broke in Nina, “what are you talking about?  Are you saying I could be executed because I don’t have a BB gun?”

“What I’m saying,” replied Marlowe, “is that we could BOTH be executed because you don’t have a BB gun.  House, what about the special powers assigned to me by the Governor?”

“Investigatory powers only.  They do not authorize you to operate outside the law.”

“Then what good are they?”

The car had taken its time stopping, a delaying tactic while Marlowe and House conferred.  But it had stopped now, and the flitter with its blaring siren and strobing lights settled down right behind them.

“House, if you have any ideas, now would be the time to throw them out.”

“Do you still have your spare?”

“Spare?  Oh, my spare!  Good thinking!  Nina, pop open the glove box.”

Marlowe kept one eye on the rear view mirror and another on Nina, which would have been a mean feat if he hadn’t had that roaming eye surgery a few years ago.  The nano probes secreted all sort of chemicals to normalize his heartbeat as he watched the hatch pop open on the police flitter.  The nano probes bumped up the dosage several milligrams as a huge, ham-fisted and barrel-chested trooper clambered out, his combat belt bristling with weaponry.  The trooper wore the standard issue fear-inspiring black body armor with a mirror-visored riot helmet that extended down over his eyes and nose.  Only his mouth was visible, a grim, malevolent sneer on his face as he spoke into his throat mike.

“OK, what am I looking for in the glove box,” asked Nina.

The trooper detached a particularly nasty-looking piece of ordnance from his holster and pointed it at their car.   It took several, chest-tearing beats of Marlowe’s heart before he recognized it as a VID scanner and not a weapon.  The trooper held the Vehicle Identity scanner up for several seconds as it captured an optical image of the Studebaker and sent an Identify query to the black box that all cars in the City were mandated to have.  Tell-tales on the dashboard notified Marlowe that the car had answered the query, sending license, registration, and proof of insurance to the trooper.

Marlowe returned his focus to the eye watching Nina.  Her hand rested on the folded down door of the glove box.  “Shove all the papers out.”

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