Marriage By Arrangement (16 page)

And he is so tormented. How can I help him?

“Surely I won’t have to lock him away.”

Silence echoed back from the huge, shadowy room, glinting with weapons of war.

19

The nursery door still stood ajar, but no sound came from within.

Cailin hesitated. Normally she would have rushed inside, eager to talk with Megan. But her time alone in the armory with God made her more sensitive. She tilted her chin high. It was way past time she begin to think of others’ needs above her own.

Megan had questioned the time she spent alone with Brody. She needed to explain herself more fully. She fingered the small, gold cross she wore every day above her engagement diamond. And so she would.

She knocked gently.

“Who’s there?” Megan’s voice floated from behind the closed door.

Her voice sounded muffled, followed by a series of sniffs, and then a delicate blowing of Megan’s nose. Was her always-confident sister crying?

“It’s Cailin.”

“Oh. Just one minute, please.” Rustling inside showed that Megan was preparing herself. “Come in.”

Cailin pushed open the door into the bright, cheery room. Megan sat in a cushioned rocker.

Wooden toys, carved boats with canvas sails, miniature furniture, and toy horsemen lay scattered around her feet. She hugged a baby-blue knit blanket to her chest, and Megan’s dewy-eyed gaze didn’t quite meet hers.

“Am I intruding?”

Megan’s brows lifted. Surprise lightened her sad face. “No, come in and sit with me. I’m glad of company.”

But her sister really didn’t look that happy to see her. Cailin couldn’t quite put a finger on Megan’s attitude. Her eyes were rimmed with red. She hid sadness behind a tight smile, and smoothed a frown from her forehead with her fingers.

Behind her sister, the clothespress gaped open, revealing dainty white and blue muslin along with fine linen baby clothes piled in uneven rows. Pink and blue bonnets, tiny white booties, pastel parasols, and a silver rattle clustered over small wicker chairs like loving promises waiting to be fulfilled.

Cailin hugged her arms. She so wanted this baby. A son to give Avondale the male heir he needed…and Papa. The realization of just how much she wanted this child swept over her, leaving her knees weak.

But if she bore a daughter, and daughters far outnumbered sons in her family, Papa being the last male in his line, knowing what she now knew of Avondale, could she ever let him touch her again? What if she carried a lass?

God, please give me a normal son
.

A son. The thought brought warmth to her cheeks and love to her heart, chasing the fear into a thin vapor.

As she walked into the sun-filled gold and blue room she trailed her hand over a child’s wooden table and chairs. Sweet memories nestled inside this place. When they were children, she and Megan had loved this small upper corner of the castle.

Megan sniffed again.

Cailin brushed her memories aside. “You’ve been crying.” She hurried to Megan’s side and perched on the footstool beside her rocker. She took one of her sister’s slender, cool hands, which dangled forlornly from the rocker’s arms.

“Yes.”

“You’re unhappy with Brody?”

Megan lifted a tear-streaked face. “He’s always with you!”

Cailin’s throat caught.

Had Brody spent that much time with her? He did seem to seek her out most days.

She touched Megan’s hand. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I was monopolizing him. He saw I was lonely when Avondale was always away.”

“And what of me? When I was lonely?” Megan swiped a sleeve over her cheeks.

“You never seemed so.” Cailin clasped her arms around her knees. “Brody’s a brother. A shoulder to lean on. A sympathetic ear.”

“Brody’s always been in love with you.”

“What?” Guilt knifed between her ribs. The hours spent talking, jesting in private with Brody. How must they have looked? Oh, she was so very selfish. “You’re so wrong, Megan. Brody adores you. The way he gazes at you with his heart in his eyes. The tender way he speaks your name. The songs he writes about you.”

“Then why does he spend so much time with you? And is that baby you carry really that cold, stuck-up Avondale’s?” Megan’s mossy eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

Cailin wrapped her arms around Megan’s trembling shoulders. “Of course this is his baby.” She pulled Megan closer. “Brody treats me as a sister. As a woman in pain. He knows Avondale and I are having problems. He seeks only to help.” She dropped her arms. “Brody’s a fine man, Megan. He would never betray you. Never.” She gently pulled her sister’s chin around to force Megan to look into her eyes. “Nor would I. And Brody would die for you.”

Slowly the shadows left Megan’s deep green eyes turning then softer, until they seemed like pools of clear water with sun sparkling through. “Thank you.” She turned her head slightly away. “But please don’t spend so much time with him. People are talking.”

“Of course, now that you’ve pointed out the problem, I surely won’t.” A twinge of sadness curled through her heart. She’d miss his company.

Megan sat straighter. A frown marred her forehead. “So, why are
you
in pain? You’re going to have a lovely baby. You’ll bring laughter and happiness into the castle. Though your husband is snooty, you’ve still got the very best of everything. Our parents’ love, your new title, an entire castle filled with people who chit-chat with the king.” Megan lowered her head until her red hair hid her face. “You obeyed Papa, and you’ve found happiness.”

Cailin drew in a shuddering breath. She could trust Megan. Perhaps a new pair of eyes could help her discover what was wrong with her husband and what she could do about her problem. “I fear Avondale’s not of sound mind.” She caressed her stomach.

Megan’s face said she couldn’t agree more. “I’m not surprised. Before you wed, I tried to warn you. What’s wrong?”

“You’re aware, of course, that my husband treats me badly in the daytime.” She couldn’t hide a tender smile. “But when we are alone he is wonderful.” A deep sigh worked up from the bottom of her soul. “Except for when he’s experiencing one of his spells. I do love him, you know. But I’m at my wit’s end as to what to do with him.” She sighed. “His mother tells me he’s been peculiar from young manhood.” Much as she wanted to, she couldn’t tell Megan most of Avondale’s other behavior. It seemed too much like betrayal.

Megan squeezed her hand. “Yes, that’s no secret.” Green eyes blinked. “He’s wonderful in the bedroom?”

“Marvelous.” Her cheeks grew hot. “I’m so confused. Why does Avondale treat me so badly in the daylight and so beautifully in the dark?”

Megan picked up a stuffed doll and toyed with its wigged hair. “In public he treats you as if you’re below his lofty station.” She frowned. “But in private, he’s really good to you?” She stiffened her shoulders. “We’re intelligent women. Between us, we can figure the answer to this problem.”

Cailin threaded her fingers together until her knuckles turned white. She nodded.

“Brody kept secrets from me. And I was insanely jealous each time he disappeared with you. But I accept now there was no reason for my feelings.” Megan cupped her hand over Cailin’s. “Several nights ago I experienced great fear over Brody’s welfare when he failed to reappear after a midnight rescue mission he took with Fiona. Then came blessed relief when I found him badly wounded, but more or less safe. The man is a knight, putting himself in danger to save his fellow Highlanders. It takes all my strength to keep him alive.”

“Yes, and now after the broch’s been empty less than five days, there are three more wounded Highlanders hidden there from English soldiers.” Cailin rose from her stool and began to pace. “And Fiona feels deeply for one of the hunted Highlanders.”

“Does she now? We mustn’t let a romance blossom between the two. Those men could be discovered any day and shot, hanged, or taken to the Tower of London.” Megan frowned. “We mustn’t let her miss the opportunities she has of a fine marriage with one of the English gentry.”

“You’re right. We must keep Fiona and the fugitive apart. We don’t want Fiona’s heart broken.” Cailin picked up a soft, blue knit baby blanket and held it to her cheek.

“Speaking of broken hearts, you’re not getting away that easily. Tell me more of you and Avondale.”

“His behavior is so strange. He refuses to allow more than one small candle lit in our chamber.” Cailin hugged the blue blanket as if it shielded her from a spear. “And, no matter how early I wake in the morning, he is always gone.”

Megan rubbed her chin with the doll’s hair. “Hmm. He acts as if he likes darkness.”

“Exactly.” Cailin nodded, frowning. “In the daytime he avoids me and surrounds himself with his friends or goes hunting or disappears altogether. At first I thought he liked being with Brody. But not for some time now. He also avoids Brody.”

“Yes, he and Brody did seem to get along somewhat at first. Umm…Cailin, do you suppose Lord Avondale’s jealous of the time you and Brody spend with one another?” Megan pushed her red hair away from her face, her mossy eyes again full of questions.

Cailin gave a nervous giggle. “How could he be? He’s gone long before Brody and I—” She stopped and frowned. “I’ll insist that Brody play his chanter and sing with you.” She lay down the soft blanket. “I see now it was selfish of me to take up so much of Brody’s time.”

Megan shook her head emphatically. Then she bit her lip. “I won’t gloss over the truth. That’s exactly what I’d love for you to do. The time you spent with Brody irritated me quite a bit more than I like to admit.”

“I doubt I will hurt Brody’s feelings when I refuse to spend time with him.” Drat. Why was she still burnishing the truth? She had to confess Avondale’s behavior. She would have nothing come between Megan and herself. Nothing. Betrayal or not, perhaps Megan could help. She pulled in a deep breath. “Actually—”

Fiona stuck her bright head inside the door. “Cailin, do you have a minute?”

“Come in.”

Megan rose and strode to the nursery door. “Yes, come in. I was just leaving.” She glanced back over her shoulder. “Thank you so very much, Cailin. I expect you to keep your word.”

Fiona walked inside. Her brows rose. “What was that about?”

“We just had a sisterly chat. Cleared the air of something.” She smiled and pointed to the rocker Megan had just vacated. “Sit down. What’s on your mind?”

Fiona lowered herself into the rocker and leaned forward. “I…I have to tell ye something.” She cleared her throat. “Something rather awful. I wouldn’t bother you with it, but I don’t know what to do.”

Cailin put a hand to her fluttering heart. She didn’t want to hear this. “It concerns Avondale?”

Fiona gave a faint smile. “Yes.” She heaved a deep sigh. “Ye know I love ye like a sister?”

“Thank you. And I you.” She took up her needles in case the revelation to come proved too difficult, and she wouldn’t be able to meet Fiona’s young gaze. She must find out the details sooner or later. “What has happened?”

“The night of the masquerade…”

Cailin’s temples throbbed. She began taking slow purls with her needles.

“His Grace…” Fiona clutched her hands together. “I think he lost his bearings somewhat.”

She knitted faster. “And?”

“He dragged me out of the castle and into the forest.”

Cailin dropped her knitting. “I know. Rafe told me.” Dread clutched her with the implacable hand of doom. “This had to have happened when Rafe went to the kitchen to fetch Hennings.” She didn’t want to hear, but Fiona needed to unburden her heart. “What was Avondale like?”

“He didn’t seem himself at all. It was as if someone else was inside the duke’s body.” Fiona shivered. “I never have seen anything quite like his eyes.” Her mouth trembled. “He looked so elegant in his costume, and yet he wasn’t himself at all. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Yes, I’ve seen that look. Like a man sleepwalking.” Cailin picked up her knitting. “Or a man lost, out of control, wandering in darkness.” What could have caused him to have such demons? The dowager said The Rising, especially after the Battle of Culloden, had made Avondale ever so much worse. Tears welled in her eyes and she kept them focused on the tiny blue coat she was knitting. “Go on.”

“We’d just gotten inside the cover of the trees when he abruptly sat down on a grassy bank and pulled me into his lap.”

Oh Father, no!

Her needles flashed through her knitting. Purls, knits, she had no idea what type of stitch she made.

“But suddenly he grew very still. He looked at me with the most puzzled expression on his face. Like he had no idea why he was sitting on the ground or why I was on his lap.”

“He didn’t hurt you?” Cailin dropped the knitting in a soft heap onto her lap and touched Fiona’s arm.

“No. The dragging to the woods tore my costume and scared the daylights out of me, though.”

“Then?”

“Then Hennings came running up, walked us back to the castle, and took the duke away.” Fiona pulled in a deep breath. “I think I saw Rafe running towards us in the darkness, but I didn’t stop to see for certain.”

“Oh, Fiona, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” Cailin gazed into the wide, green eyes. “But you must promise to keep this a secret. It is of the utmost importance we keep Avondale’s problems a secret. The title, the inheritance, the power, you understand?”

“Of course I do. They must be kept for your baby. I won’t breathe a word.”

Cailin knew she would not. The family was keeping their own secrets about Brody and his sister hiding inside the castle. “No, of course you won’t. We are sisters now.”

“Is the duke a threat to our family?”

“I don’t know, dear. Rafe and Hennings are never to leave his side. One by night and the other by day. And no one but the four of us must ever know what happened.”

“Not even Brody or Megan?”

“No, Fiona. They have their own problems. We must not burden them with ours.” She scooted to her knees in front of the girl and hugged her. “We must never speak of this again. I am only happy Avondale didn’t hurt you.”