Authors: Carl Weber
Married Men (8 page)
“Why? Why do you have to sue them? It doesn’t make any sense. We don’t need the money.” Her voice was pleading.
“For the fucking principle, that’s why.” I sat up, pushing her off me. “ ’Cause those fucking assholes took me away from you and my girls. And even more importantly, because they might do it again and the next brother might not be as lucky as me.” I couldn’t believe she was asking me to explain.
“Kyle, this is stupid. The cops were just doing their jobs. They made a mistake. You told me yourself that their case looked good until you spoke to Greg.”
“Those mothafizckers were racist, Lisa.” I got up off the floor.
“They weren’t racist. I was in that courtroom today. That black sergeant tried to apologize to you.” She really didn’t get it.
“He was just tryin’ to save his ass. You don’t have to be white to be racist anyway. Racism is a state of mind. You could be the blackest nigga on the block and still hate black people.” I was really getting heated.
“How come everything has to come down to race with you? Every time something goes wrong, it’s because the white man is trying to hold back, poor Kyle. You ever think you might be at fault?”
“What did you say?” I said, trying to control myself. My wife, the woman I had been so worried about, thought it was my fault that a woman got her head bashed in.
“What I was trying to say is that sometimes you have to take responsibility for things that happen. Not necessarily this time, but other things that happen in your life. You do have a habit of reacting before you think.” She sounded like she was talking to a child.
“No, you didn’t just say that, did you? You said it was my fault.” I walked across the room and put on my pants. “Who the fuck are you? You’re damn sure not my wife.”
“Kyle, will you please calm down? You’re gonna wake the girls.”
“Hell no, I’m not gonna calm down! This is my goddamn house! I pay the bills here!”
“You know, Kyle, you can be such a—”
“Such a what?” I screamed, cutting her off.
She hesitated, then finished. “Such an asshole!”
That was the first time I ever looked at my wife and saw a white woman, not just a woman. She just didn’t get it. She’d been married to a black man for seven years and she still didn’t understand. Black people are treated differently than white people. You would have thought that by now she would come to understand that. But she was still living her life through rose-colored glasses.
“You know what, Lisa? Maybe it’s time you wake up and look at the real world. There is racism out there that directly affects your own family. I’m gonna sue this damn city and the police department whether you stand by my side or not.”
“Well, you’re gonna be standing out there by yourself.”
I was so mad my stomach was doing flips. I finished dressing in a flash.
“You know what, Lisa? Maybe we should reevaluate this relationship. ’Cause for a woman that has three black kids, you sure don’t understand black folks.” I could tell she was stunned by my comments, because I saw tears. I turned around and walked down the stairs. I was putting on a sweater when she called after me.
“Kyle, where are you going?”
“Out!”
“When are you coming back?” she asked sadly. She was at the bottom of the stairs now.
“I’m not.” I opened the front door.
“Kyle, I love you.” She had pleading in her voice.
“You know what, Lisa? Maybe love isn’t good enough anymore.”
I pulled my Range Rover into Wil’s driveway and was glad to see the lights were still on. I sat in the truck for a while, getting my thoughts straight. Had I done the right thing, leaving the way I did? I wasn’t sure, but I definitely needed to get away from Lisa at that moment.
I got out of the car and rang Wil’s bell. Diane answered, carrying little Teddy on her shoulder.
“Hey, Kyle. Come on in.”
“Hi, Di. How you doin’?” I kissed her cheek before walking by.
“I’m fine. A little morning sickness here and there, but I’m doing good. How ’bout you? You look a lot better than you did when I saw you at the courthouse this afternoon.”
“I feel a lot better,” I lied.
“Good. Wil’s in the den watching the Mets game. I’m gonna feed Teddy and go to bed. Good night.”
“Hey, Di, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“I’m thinking about suing the police for false arrest. What do you think?”
“If I was you, Kyle, I’d sue the hell outta those bastards.” Her eyes flashed anger. “What they did to you was dead wrong.”
“Thanks, Di. You’re an aw’ight sistah.” I wished my own wife could have shown me such unconditional support.
“Good night, Kyle.” She smiled gently and held her baby closer.
“Good night, Di.” I walked down the hall to Wil’s den. He was engrossed in the baseball game.
“Bang! If I was really a killer, you’d be dead.” I laughed.
“What’s up, Kyle?” He got up and gave me a brotherly hug, then turned his attention right back to the game.
“Who’s winning?”
“Five-two Cincinnati. Bottom of the ninth. Edgardo Alfonzo is up with the bases loaded, two outs.” I sat down and stared at the screen. I wasn’t as big a baseball fan as Wil, but I did like the Mets.
“Yes!” Wil screamed as Alfonzo hit a long fly ball. Wil was jumping up and down like a schoolchild. But the smile disappeared in a flash when Ken Griffey, Jr., stopped the ball in flight and prevented a home run. “Damn, damn, damn! How the hell did he catch that?”
I didn’t say a word as Wil had his tantrum. As cool, calm, and collected as he always was, Wil got crazy when it came to baseball, especially the Mets. Even Diane gave him a wide berth when he was watching a Mets game. It was her one concession to the game, since she had made him give up his season tickets when they got married.
“So what brings you over here, anyway?” Wil asked when he finally stopped ranting about Griffey’s catch.
“I need a place to spend the night.” I lowered my head.
“You need what?” Wil raised an eyebrow and sat back in his recliner.
“I need a place to stay. Lisa and I got into a fight.”
“A fight or an argument? A fight to me means somebody got hit.”
“An argument. You know I’d never hit her.”
“I never thought you’d be in jail, but you were,” Wil said a little sarcastically.
I shot him an evil look.
“I’m sorry, man. What I was trying to say is, I have no idea what goes on in your house, and I really don’t wanna know. I just wanted to make sure you’re not doing anything stupid.”
“I don’t hit women, Wil!”
“Aw’ight, so what happened? Why’d she kick you out?”
“She didn’t kick me out. I left.”
“Why?”
“It’s this whole interracial thing, man,” I stated simply. “I don’t know if I can handle it anymore.”
Wil picked up his remote control and turned the television off. He turned to face me, and the expression on his face was serious.
“It’s a little late for that, isn’t it? You got three kids with that woman.”
His words were like a slap in the face. In my confused rage, I hadn’t thought about my kids. My anger and hurt were directed entirely at Lisa, but my girls would definitely be affected if I left.
“Now what’s going on, Kyle? You never had a problem with this interracial shit before.” Wil looked worried.
“Yeah, I did. I just never said anything.” I didn’t look him in the face.
Wil sat up in his chair. I think he was more than a little surprised.
“Do you remember me asking you way before you got married if you were going to be able to handle an interracial marriage?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“So what happened in seven years?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard being married to a white woman, Wil.”
“It’s hard being married, period,” he reminded me.
“I know.” I sat back in my chair. “But it’s different with a white woman. When you walk down the street with Di, people don’t stare at you. The other day a sister threw a cup of coffee on me. I’m sure it was because I kissed Lisa before I stepped out of the van.”
Wil’s eyes got bigger, but he didn’t say a word. He just sat back and listened.
“It’s not always that serious. Sometimes it’s just dirty looks from strangers on the street, but shit like that is always goin’ on, Wil. And Lisa acts like she just can’t see it.” I sighed heavily. “After today, I just can’t take it anymore.” I was angry again.
“What happened tonight?”
I explained to Wil everything that had happened, and even added a few things that that had happened in the past year. I needed him to understand how so many little incidents had added up to this huge blowout.
“Kyle, I don’t agree with Lisa, but maybe she’s afraid of what might happen. Cops can be pretty vicious when they’re crossed. You wanna subject your family to that?”
“If that was really her problem, why didn’t she say that? She said I always make everything into race. But this time, somebody’s gotta make a stand, Wil.”
“Okay, Al Sharpton.” He moved up in his chair and sat at the edge. “Do you wanna get a divorce, Kyle? ’Cause that’s where this is leading.”
I thought about it a second. I was mad, I was real mad. But three hours ago I was making love to Lisa. I couldn’t just remove that from the equation. There were parts of our marriage that I really loved.
“Answer me, man. Do you wanna get a divorce?”
“Nah, I just want her to see things my way.”
“You said it yourself, she’s never gonna see things your way. So there’s gonna be times you gotta stand on your own, and other times she’ll be by your side.”
“Easy for you to say, Wil. Your wife’s a sister. She always stands by you.”
“Who, my wife? Are you fucking crazy? Just ’cause we act like the Huxtables don’t mean we are.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” Wil yawned. “Look, man, it’s getting late. I gotta get up early in the morning. I want you to go home to your wife and kids, bro. Talk to Lisa. You may not agree on everything, but you guys are a family.”
“Aw’right, man. But if you hear a tap on the window, it’s me.”
I didn’t get home until after one in the morning. I’d gone over to the Roadhouse Bar for a drink to calm my nerves. When I walked through the door, Lisa was waiting for me. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were red. She’d obviously been crying ever since I left. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly.
“I’m sorry, Kyle,” she sobbed. Her body went limp, and I had to hold her to keep her from falling.
“It’s all right. We just have a difference of opinion.” I repeated what Wil said to me. I wasn’t sure if I believed it, but it was the right thing to say at the time.
“Ohhh, Kyle, I was so scared you were going to leave me. I was more scared of that than I was of you going to prison.” She squeezed me tighter. “If you want to sue them, go ahead. I won’t stand in your way. Just please, please don’t leave me.”
“It’s not about you standing in my way. It’s about you standing by my side,” I told her, trying to keep my voice calm.
She lifted her head, looking into my eyes. “I promise I’ll stand by you.”
I nodded my head, and neither of us spoke another word. We walked up the stairs, arm in arm. When we got to our room, she kissed me passionately from my heck to my ears and back to my lips. Smiling a sad, exhausted smile, she guided me to the bed and straddled me, rubbing her hands across my chest. She slid off the oversized T-shirt she was wearing. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as she moved seductively, trailing her tongue down my stomach, closer to her final destination. Once she reached it, she sat up with a confused look on her face.
“Kyle, are you still mad at me?” That’s when I realized I was barely erect.
“No, baby, I’m just tired. Do you mind if I just hold you?” She lay down on my chest and I wrapped my arms around her. Within minutes we were both asleep.
6
Allen
It was around seven when I sat down at the dinner table with Ma. She’d fried up a few porgies and made some collard greens and corn bread for dinner. Mmm, mmm, mmm, that fish was some kinda good. If there was one thing I loved about living with my mother, it was her cooking. She could take a can of Spam, an onion, and a few potatoes and make your taste buds sing.
We’d been sitting at the dinner table about twenty minutes, and Ma hadn’t said one word. I’d just started my second plate when she got up and walked into the living room. When she returned, she had tears in her eyes.
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