Married While Intoxicated (2 page)

Derrik slapped Matthew’s shoulder. “Be happy
to, brother.”

Melinda got out of the bed and pulled her
sweater down over her hips. “Sheila,” she said, gently taking the
older woman’s hand, “you’ve been a dear. You took me in, fed me and
gave me a warm place to wait out the storm.”

“You’re a gift sent from God himself, my
dear.” She patted Melinda’s hand. “You’re the answer to my prayers.
I’ve been hounding Matthew for years to take a wife. I’m so glad he
finally has.”

Sweet or not, it seemed Sheila’s gray matter
had been replaced by a block of Play Doh. “That’s a lovely thing to
say, but I’m afraid you’re a bit confused.” She released Sheila’s
hand.

“You see what we’re up against, Derrik?”
Matthew said. “Straighten Mom out.”

“Yes, Derrik,” Sheila said, “straighten me
out. Straighten all of us out.” She looked at Matthew, Melinda and
finally Derrik. “Are these two married or not?”

Derrik straightened to what seemed to be a
six-foot height, falling short of Matthew’s stature by about two
inches. “Yes, Mother, these two are married. I married them myself
last night.”

“You married us?” Melinda asked
incredulously. “By what authority do you marry anyone?”

“By God’s,” Sheila quickly replied. “Derrik’s
a minister.”

Melinda’s stomach churned. “You’re a
minister?”

Derrik slid his fingers through his dark
blond hair. “I’m afraid so.”

“But he didn’t marry us. Not really,” Matthew
said. “This is all some sort of joke.” He looked at Sheila. “Tell
her what a prankster you are, Mother.”

She looked at Melinda. “I’m a prankster.”

“There, you see?” Matthew went to Melinda and
took her hand. “I’m terribly sorry for this nasty joke my brother
and mother have played on you.” He gently pulled her toward the
door. “Why don’t you go into the bathroom and freshen up? I’ll fix
something for breakfast, and I’ll send a certain beautiful elderly
lady and a maniacal minister out into the storm so they can cool
down their senses of humor.”

Sheila reached out and took Melinda’s free
hand. “Wait just a minute.”

Matthew and Melinda stopped and looked at
Sheila.

She quirked a brow and lifted her chin. “I’m
a prankster, all right, but this is no joke. Derrik married the two
of you last night, and I’ve got the video and the marriage
certificate to prove it.”

***

Melinda was thoroughly grateful to Matthew
for remembering to bring her suitcase along with them when he’d
rescued her from her snowbound car. Having fresh clothes to wear
after her shower helped her feel much better.

Her headache had lightened, thanks to
curative steam and the scent of Sheila’s lilac soap, and her mouth
wasn’t a storage bin for cotton anymore, thanks to mint-fresh
toothpaste.

As she stood ahead of the bathroom mirror and
combed through her long blonde locks, Melinda tried to digest
Sheila’s proclamation regarding the marriage she claimed had taken
place the night before. She smiled and fantasized about
really
being married to Matthew Pottaski.

Man, he was handsome. A woman could very
quickly get used to waking up with someone like him everyday.

She snagged a snarl with her comb and chided
herself for thinking such ridiculous thoughts.

Then she fantasized some more.

“Matthew and Melinda Pottaski.” That might
look pretty good on a matchbook cover or a place card--or on a
front door, she mused. “Mrs. Melinda Pottaski. Melinda Pottaski.
Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Pottaski.” Melinda grinned as she finished
combing through her hair. “Wouldn’t that just shock the pants off
them all if I showed up at Tamara’s wedding with a husband on my
arm?”

Having finished combing her hair, Melinda
took out her makeup kit and added a little color to her cheeks and
a dusting of powder to her face. Satisfied with the fit of her
jeans and red sweater, she left the bathroom and went to meet her
new
family
for breakfast.

The fragrance of fried bacon tantalized her
senses as she followed the hallway leading to the kitchen. Her
stomach rumbled, and she realized she was starving.

She found Sheila in the bright yellow kitchen
setting a plate of bacon on the table next to a platter filled with
eggs and toast. A bowl of fruit salad sat at one end while a
serving bowl full of oatmeal sat at the other.

“Sheila, this is a feast,” Melinda said when
she saw the large meal resting happily on top of a cheery gold and
white checkered tablecloth. “You shouldn’t have gone to so much
trouble.”

“I didn’t. Matthew made the breakfast,
everything except the oatmeal. Derrik made that. I had to run out
to the barn and tend to one of the horses. When I came in, Matthew
told me to set things on the table while he took a quick shower in
the bathroom upstairs.”

“Can I help with anything?”

“You can pour the coffee, if you’d like.”

“Of course.” She went to the coffee maker and
retrieved the decanter. As she went about the business of filling
the cups at the table, she said, “You say you were outside? Has the
storm stopped?”

“Oh, my, no. It’s raging as fiercely as ever,
but a woman’s got to tend to her animals, doesn’t she?”

“I guess she does.” Melinda finished pouring
the coffee and went to the window. “How on earth did you manage to
find the barn through the thickness of the storm? I can barely see
it from here.”

Sheila stood next to her and laid her hand on
Melinda’s arm. “Honey, when you’ve lived on a farm for forty-two
years and been through dozens of snowstorms, you learn how to
negotiate through anything. And when one of your animals is sick
and needs you, you’ve got to do whatever it takes to help it.”

“I suppose.” She gazed into the mass of
whiteness. “I can’t imagine living any one place for forty-two
years, let alone on a farm in the middle of nowhere.”

Sheila laughed and patted Melinda’s arm. “You
think this is the middle of nowhere? You should see the place where
I grew up.” She motioned for Melinda to return the coffee decanter
to its hotplate. “Ever been to eastern Wyoming?”

“No,” she said as she returned the coffee pot
to its perch.

A look of reverie crossed Sheila’s face.
“Some of the most beautiful countryside on earth sets as stately as
a god right there in eastern Wyoming, but a person is hard-pressed
to find another human being unless she’s near a main highway.”

“Sounds like a lonely place.”

“It can be lonely in Wyoming, but not as
lonely as it gets in Alaska. I did a stint up there after I
finished high school. I tell you in all sincerity, I saw more bears
on a daily basis than I saw people in Alaska.”

“I can’t begin to imagine what that would be
like. I wonder,” she said thoughtfully, “if you’d discovered you
didn’t really like lonely places when you lived in Alaska, why do
you live in this desolate area?”

“Melinda, my darling, this farm is the
antithesis of desolation. Why, there’s more life here than I ever
thought I’d find anywhere on earth.”

Melinda decided Sheila’s mind must have been
farther over the edge than she’d thought earlier. From the little
she’d seen through the snow of this isolated county in North Dakota
the Pottaski farm was one of the loneliest places on the
planet.

“My husband’s here, God rest his soul, and as
long as I have him with me, my soul is filled to the brim. Between
Garth and God, I’m never lonely. Everywhere I look here, I see them
both.” Sheila lifted her chin. “I tell you, once I met Garth, I
never knew another lonely day in my life. And now you’ll know
exactly what I mean because you have Matthew to share your
life.”

“Did someone say my name?” Matthew came into
the kitchen looking drop-dead handsome. His red-plaid flannel shirt
couldn’t hide his perfect, masculine build any more than his jeans
could obliterate the strength of solid his legs. His thick, sandy
brown hair, wet from showering, looked darker, almost as dark as
his deep brown eyes. From twelve feet away his eyes could speak
directly to Melinda’s heart. And she liked what they were saying,
how they were toying with her heart, how they were telling her she
belonged right where she was.

Oh, brother, she was fantasizing again.

“Matthew, is Derrik coming? Our food will be
stone cold if we don’t sit down right now and eat.” Sheila ushered
Melinda to the table. “Sit right there, dear, next to your
husband.”

“Mother…”

Once she’d made sure Matthew and Melinda were
seated next to each other, Sheila made herself comfortable across
from them. Derrik joined them a few seconds later.

“Ah, bacon, eggs, oatmeal…it smells heavenly
in here.”

“You should know, Reverend,” Sheila said,
smiling proudly at her son. “Melinda, why don’t you say grace for
us this morning? Derrik did the honors last night.”

Melinda swallowed hard. She wasn’t sure what
she should say. She didn’t know what denomination the Pottaskis
were. “All right,” she said, clearing her throat. “This is a prayer
I learned when I was a child.” She bowed her head, folded her hands
and closed her eyes. “Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest. Let this food
to us be blessed.”

“Amen,” everyone said in unison.

“And one more thing, Lord,” Sheila added
quickly, “along with the food, please, bless this newly married
couple. Help them to be fruitful and multiply.”

Melinda’s eyes popped open. “Sheila!”

“I want grandchildren.” She passed the bacon
to Melinda. “Eat up.” She handed Matthew the toast and eggs. “Eggs
are filled with protein and other nutrients, son. They’ll give you
lots of stamina for your honeymoon.”

“Mother!” he said violently as he took the
plate of eggs and toast from her. “You’ve got to stop this
nonsense. Melinda and I are not married.” He transferred two pieces
of toast and three eggs to his plate. “You can carry a joke too
far, you know.” He handed the platter to Melinda, and sent her a
remorseful gaze. “I’m sorry if she’s making you terribly
uncomfortable.”

“I can apologize for myself, if it is
necessary,” Sheila interjected. “And it isn’t necessary!”

“All right, all right,” Derrik said as he
filled his cereal bowl with fruit salad. “Let me explain exactly
what happened.”

“Please do,” Sheila and Matthew said in
unison.

Derrik glanced from his mother to his brother
before he focused on Melinda. “Last night, at the supper table, you
seemed terribly distracted. Naturally, we realized you had to be
quite upset because of the unfortunate circumstances which caused
you to be stranded in a house full of strangers.”

“It was God’s will that Melinda be here, the
answer to my prayers. You should have realized that more than
anyone, Derrik.”

He looked at Sheila and smiled. “Be fair,
Mother. Let me finish explaining to Melinda and Matthew just what
took place last night. Their memories,” he said, grinning at his
brother and Melinda, “seem to have failed them.”

“Wine can do that to a person,” Sheila said
as she offered an even bigger grin than Derrik’s.

The reverend focused on Melinda once more.
“As I was saying, you seemed frightfully upset. It took a while,
but you finally began to talk.”

“After I poured you a glass of wine.” Sheila
couldn’t stay out of Derrik’s explanation. “It loosens the
tongue.”

“Mother…” Matthew shifted his attention from
Sheila to his brother. “Go on, Derrik.”

“Once you started talking, all you wanted to
discuss was your sister’s wedding. You said you were terribly
distressed because your little sister Tamara was getting married
before you were.”

Melinda shifted uncomfortably in her chair as
she swallowed a mouthful of half-chewed eggs. “I’m afraid that was
quite petty of me.”

Derrik shrugged. “Perhaps, but not unusual.
Older siblings tend to think they need to lead the way for their
younger brothers and sisters. My guess is Tamara spent a good deal
of her life looking to you for leadership, and, now that she is
taking a major step in her adult life before you take the same
step, you might be feeling like you’re losing that part of your
baby sister who always looked to you to show her the way.”

“But her baby sister didn’t take the step to
marriage first. Melinda is already married, and Tamara won’t be
married for three more days.”

“Mother, please let me finish my
explanation.”

Sheila wiped her lips with her gold checkered
napkin. “You’re too slow, Derrik. Get to the part where you married
them.”

He looked at Matthew and Melinda. “After a
glass or two of wine, the two of you both began to speak more
freely. Melinda, you were in tears due to your sister’s beating you
to the altar, and Matthew, you became her gentle comforter.”

“I remember all of this,” Matthew said
impatiently.

“So do I…most of it, anyway,” Melinda said as
Derrik reminded her of the previously forgotten behavior which she
now found quite embarrassing.

“Derrik had to take a phone call,” Sheila
said. “So the three of us talked for a while, remember that?”

“That is where everything starts to get a
little fuzzy,” Melinda reluctantly admitted.

“I remember the three of us clearing the
table as we had our wine,” Matthew said.

“And we loaded the dishwasher,” Melinda
added.

“Yes, that’s right,” Sheila said.

“When I finished my call, I returned to the
kitchen to find the three of you had cleaned things up, finished
off two bottles of wine and retired to the parlor.”

Matthew sat up ramrod straight. “Two bottles!
That’s impossible!”

“I had only two glasses. That much I do
remember,” Melinda proclaimed.

Derrik leaned forward. “When I returned to
the kitchen, there were two empty wine bottles. We’d emptied only
one before I’d left. I remember placing the empty bottle in the
sink when I went to answer the phone. Another bottle sat on the
counter unopened.”