Marshal and the Heiress (39 page)

Despite the help and concern that surrounded him at Calholm, Ben's need grew by the hour to return to the west, where he belonged. If he asked Lisbeth, would she come with him? She was used to the best of everything. There would be no manors, no servants, in Denver. He wanted to believe that she wouldn't care, that the Lisbeth he knew—
his
Lisbeth—was an independent woman with a pioneering spirit who would happily rise to the challenges presented by a half-tamed land. But he was uncertain—and afraid she would say no. If she did say yes, he was afraid that she wouldn't totally realize the sacrifices she would have to make, the hard work that might border on drudgery. If he couldn't adapt to wealth, how could she ever adapt to not having it?

Would she end up hating him?

All the guests left Calholm the morning after Sarah Ann's return. Drew returned from Glasgow, bringing news with him. Callum Trapp had committed suicide in his cell, cutting a vein with a knife he'd somehow obtained. Lisbeth went very pale, and disappeared for hours.

Drew had unexpectedly become a friend, and it had been a long time, Ben thought, since he had allowed himself one. Only now did he admit to himself how much he'd missed by shutting others out, by allowing the fear of loss to keep everyone at a distance. And the Scot was a godsend for Sarah Ann, with his quick wit and card tricks.

On the evening of Drew's return, after Sarah Ann's eyes had closed for the night, Ben invited Drew to his room for a drink.

“I received a communication from John Alistair yesterday,” Ben said. “He will be here tomorrow for signatures and to discuss all the legal matters.”

Drew's gaze sharpened. “It's official?”

Ben nodded.

Drew was silent for a moment. “Then what?”

“I have some ideas.”

“You'll stay?”

Ben shook his head. “The life of a country gentleman doesn't appeal to me. I never intended to stay. I just wanted Sarah Ann to know her heritage, her family.”

“And you ended up opening Pandora's box,” Drew finished for him.

“Something like that. I can't simply walk off now, though, and negate the claim. It'll be Sarah Ann's decision when she's old enough. For now, I would like the Hamilton family to survive. I'm no farmer, but Hugh … well, he has possibilities, I think, if given the chance. I'm not fool enough, though, to hand it over to him to ruin. I want Alistair to continue as trustee, almost as a manager.”

“And the horses?” Drew asked.

“The horses are draining Calholm,” Ben said slowly. “Even if Shadow wins the Grand National, it will be years before there's enough money to support a stable this size—and Calholm doesn't have years.”

Drew sighed. “It'll break Lisbeth's heart.”

“Exactly,” Ben said. “But the Hamiltons—and that includes Sarah Ann and Lisbeth—could lose everything unless those horses are sold. And the training course is taking up valuable pastureland.”

“Shadow?”

“Shadow is hers. But the others have to go. Dammit, Drew, I know how much they mean to her.”

Drew hesitated. “They did,” he said finally. “I don't think they do now, not after what has happened.”

Ben wished he believed it. But he'd listened to Lisbeth's hopes and dreams. He knew how hard she had fought for them.

Rather than pursue a dead end, Ben changed the subject. “I think you should tell her that you're her brother,” he said abruptly.

“No.” Drew shook his head. “She won't forgive me for not telling her sooner. She's already doubting herself, and the people she's trusted. I can't tell her that I've lied to her, at least by omission. Now now. Nor do I think she would appreciate learning her father is a rapist.”

Ben swore.

“You're the only one who can help her now,” Drew said.

“And how do I do that?” Ben asked bitterly. “By taking away every thing that's important to her?”

“
You're
important,” Drew said.

Ben's mouth twisted in a cynical smile. “It's always been the horses, Drew. And I'm the original Jonah as far as women are concerned. Lisbeth won't want anything to do with me when I tell her about the stable.”

“You underestimate her.”

“No,” Ben said. “I know she's strong. But everyone has disappointed her, including me. And I can't—”

“Can't what?”

Ben could only shrug his shoulders. Gulping his whisky, he stood in a gesture of dismissal. He saw anger flit through Drew's eyes but the Scotsman got the message. Lord Kinloch's gaze was cool as he set down his empty glass, rose from his chair and offered Ben a distinctly frosty “good night.”

John Alistair arrived at Calholm the following morning to officially deliver the news: the petition in Sarah Ann's behalf had been approved. The control of the estate was now in the hands of Sarah Ann's guardian, the title and lands entailed for Sarah Ann's son.

Hugh accepted the news with silence, Barbara with resignation, Lisbeth with the same icy calmness that she'd maintained since Trapp's confessions.

Afterward, Ben met with Alistair for an hour alone, asking questions and seeking advice. The solicitor was not happy with his plans, but he finally agreed to do what was necessary to implement them. Still, everything depended on unanimous family agreement, and as yet, Ben knew he had no agreement at all.

Ben went in search of Hugh, asking him to join him in the library Alistair had vacated.

Hugh looked at him with resignation, but followed him. He accepted a proffered drink, then said abruptly, “I'll be leaving tomorrow. I realize I no longer have a claim on Calholm. I'm grateful for your offer to settle my debts. It's more than I expected.” His gaze dropped to the floor.

Ben paused a moment, then asked, “You still plan to go to America?”

“Why in the bloody hell do you care?”

Ben ignored the question. “And Barbara?”

Hugh shrugged. “Barbara will never leave Calholm. Especially for someone without a pence.”

“Have you asked her?”

“I wouldn't do that,” he said, anguish settling in his eyes. And pride.

Ben knew about pride. He knew way too much about it.

“I have a proposition for you,” he said.

Hugh looked startled. “What?” His voice rang of suspicion.

Ben had to smile. He remembered the last man he'd made a proposition to. It had been met with the same degree of suspicion and lack of enthusiasm. But then, Diablo had been facing a noose.

Hugh looked as if his prospects were as gloomy.

“Can you run Calholm? Profitably?” Ben asked.

Hugh's stunned eyes stared at him. “Don't play with me, Masters.”

“You've talked a good game. Could you really do it?”

He was baiting Hugh now, wanting to know exactly what the man was made of.

“Not with those bloody stables.”

“If we were to sell the horses, all but Shadow?”

“The training field?”

“Put that into sheep pasture.”

“The tenants?”

“They stay.”

Hugh continued to stare at him, obviously trying to determine whether he was mad, or merely cruel. “Why?” he asked finally.

“Dammit, Hugh, can you?”

“It will take time, but I think, yes. Bloody hell, I know I can.”

That was the answer Ben wanted. He didn't want fear, or bravado. He wanted commitment.

Hugh was eyeing him like a man might eye a tiger ready to pounce. “Why are you asking me this? Alistair was dead set against me having any part of Calholm.”

“Alistair was afraid you might gamble Calholm away.”

Hugh met his gaze straight on. “At one time, I might have. I've never had anything. I suppose you know that. Like Andrew Cameron, I had background and a noble family name and damn little else. But I have a talent for the land, and I finally realized I have no talent for cards.”

“Some people never learn that.”

Hugh snorted. “Like Ian?”

Ben nodded. “I want to return to America. I told Alistair I thought you could run Calholm for Sarah Ann. Sell the horses, but keep the tenant families. They can work with the additional sheep. You take half the profits you earn. The other half will be split three ways between Barbara, Lisbeth, and a trust fund for Sarah Ann until she comes of age.”

“And then?”

Ben shrugged. “Then it will be up to her. I can't make promises, but I would hope she would sell at least part of it to you, whatever isn't entailed. In any event, you'll be doing what you want, and you should make money doing it. It would be a sight better than starting over in America with nothing.”

A number of expressions had crossed Hugh's face: astonishment, cynicism, doubt, now hope.

“What about Lisbeth?” Hugh asked.

Ben sighed. “I haven't talked to her yet, and this agreement depends on her approval. I don't think she will object, though. She knows Calholm can't support the horses any longer, and she'd still have Shadow.”

Hugh frowned. “I'm the last person to give advice, particularly where women are concerned, but you and Lisbeth …” He shook his head. “She and I have had our differences, but she deserves happiness, and I've never seen her … smile the way she has since you came.”

Until recently, Ben silently amended. There had been no smiles of late. Still, hope shot through Ben like a warm ray of sun on a cold day. Maybe …

Holding the thought within, he changed the subject. “Barbara loves you.”

Hugh's smile faltered. “I don't know.”

“Don't underestimate her,” Ben said. “I don't think very many people have given her a chance.”

“Do you always go around saving souls?” Hugh asked, a muscle twitching in his cheek.

Ben chuckled. He had tried to help Diablo, but he'd never thought he'd been saving a soul. Maybe he had, though Diablo certainly hadn't thought so at the time.

“So, what do you think? Will you do it?” he asked Hugh.

Hugh nodded. “Yes. And I won't disappoint you.”

“I wouldn't have made the proposal if I thought you would.”

“I'd by lying if I didn't tell you I think I should have had Calholm, but I also would be lying to myself if I believed I was ready. Going from nothing to everything is … well, it can be dangerous.”

Ben knew in that moment he'd been right. Hugh's disappointment had made him strike out at everyone, but there was common sense under that exterior, and a growing awareness of his limitations. God knows, it had taken him long enough to find his own, Ben thought.

He held out his hand, and Hugh took it. “You'll have free rein for the most part, though I've asked Alistair to keep an eye on things.”

“Fair enough,” Hugh said, though he winced slightly. “When will you leave?”

Ben hesitated. He still had several matters to resolve, one very important one.

“I'm not sure,” he replied.

“Thank you,” Hugh said quietly. For the first time, they exchanged friendly smiles.

Despite the successful meeting with Hugh, Ben felt only despair.

How was he going to tell Lisbeth?

He walked slowly up to Sarah Ann's room. Lisbeth was with her, sitting in a chair, a book lying facedown in her hands. Sarah Ann was asleep, a very pregnant Annabelle in her arms. She was clutching the scarf again, after having abandoned it for several days before the kidnapping.

His eyes went to Lisbeth, who rose and looked as if she were about to flee.

“I came to see how she was,” Lisbeth said almost apologetically, and Ben knew that she felt guilt as strongly now as she had days ago.

How long had it taken him to rid himself of it? Days. Weeks. Months. Even now, he thought of Mary May—and the blood—and felt the burden on his conscience. He guessed he always would. But he'd had Sarah Ann to look after, and in every real way she had offered him salvation. He'd come to love her for herself, but taking care of her, raising her, being a good father to her, also had provided him a way to work off his debt to Mary May. He owed Mary May a life, and it was merely his incredible good fortune that giving his life to Sarah Ann had turned out to be the best thing he'd ever done for himself. But who did Lisbeth have to save her?

Ben held out his hand. “Lisbeth.” It was a request, made softly.

She looked down at Sarah Ann, hesitant to leave.

“Duncan will keep watch over her,” he said in a low voice. “I think I actually saw a tear in his eye when we brought her back.”

“You did,” she said. “She's won his heart, as well as everyone else's.”

“Yes,” he said, although they both knew Sarah Ann had not completely won Callum Trapp's heart.

The unspoken words seemed to hang in the room.

“Drew said he'll be leaving soon,” she said nervously. “Sarah Ann will miss him.”

“He's a good man,” Ben said.

Her gaze finally met his. “How did you two—”

“Come to a truce?” he finished for her. He wanted to tell her who Drew was, but that was Drew's secret, not his. Instead, he shrugged. “He's a very capable man.”

She looked at him strangely. “Not many people believe that.”

“I believe that's his aim,” Ben said. “The gambler's greatest advantage. No one takes him seriously. That way he hears and sees things few others do.”

His hand was still extended, still untaken. “Lisbeth, come take a ride with me.”

She looked surprised. He hadn't left Sarah Ann's side except for the meeting with Alistair.

“Sarah Ann is safe now. I can't stay with her every moment until she's grown, although sometimes I'd like to. We'll leave Henry with her and I've already asked Duncan to keep an eye on her.” He wanted Lisbeth away from the house, away from the others.

“Henry and Duncan—a peace-loving dog and an ancient retainer,” Lisbeth said with the first trace of whimsy he'd seen in her in days. “A mighty combination.” She hesitated a moment longer, then reluctantly agreed. “I'll change into a riding dress and meet you at the stables in a few minutes.”