Marysvale (22 page)

Hannah cut in again, “I don’t
understand how we got to a point where we would be willing to give
up so much.”

“
Fear weakens the will,” I
said. “It can be used against us to make compromises to freedoms we
normally wouldn’t consider. Here a little and there a little seems
reasonable, but if you don’t draw the line somewhere, you’ll never
know when it’s been crossed; and by the time you do, it’s very
difficult, if not impossible, to get it back without bloodshed.
Those who have gained power are rarely willing to give it up
freely.”

Seeing the irritation on Jane’s face
over another diversion, I tried to get the conversation back on the
topic and asked her, “What of Mr. Shepherd?”

“
He took those who wanted to
go and left. They started their own settlement.”

“
Were they ever
attacked?”

“
In the beginning, it
happened frequently. However, the ten men, who were now battle
hardened from that fateful hunting party, joined him; and they were
much more effective in repelling the attacks. They knew their
enemy. They quickly built a fort and organized their forces. In
fact, most of those who had survived the beastly attacks joined
him. It’s too hard to simply let the Brean go after you’ve seen
their brutality, and the horror they inflict on their victims. From
what I’ve been told, they don’t kill quickly if they don’t have to.
The townspeople who have never experienced it firsthand simply
don’t understand the evil that exists in them.”

“
Or they don’t want to
believe it,” injected Hannah.

“
True,” I agreed. “What’s
Sarah’s part in all this?”

“
She understood the
difficult position the people were putting themselves in,”
explained Jane. “She had the courage to raise a warning voice,
though quietly at first. Even so, she was noticed quickly and
ridiculed for it. The leaders argued that women had no place in
deciding the fate of Marysvale. Sarah wouldn’t back down, she
became even more vocal. Though none would support her openly, her
ideas were taking root; a light was shone on the town leadership,
and what it revealed wasn’t pleasing.”

“
And Mr. Wright—what did he
say?”

“
He is very good at
deception. Publicly, he’s a friend to all; that’s why he has his
supporters in positions of power. While deploying them to take care
of his problems, he can remain a true statesman.”

“
Is that when they drove
Sarah out?” I asked.

Jane nodded. “They could tell they were
losing ground and they wanted to stop her before she could gain any
more converts. She was too strong a public figure to eliminate, so
they made her a deal.”

She hesitated for a moment, and tears
suddenly welled in her eyes. “She took it.”

As sympathetically as I could, I asked,
“You were close, weren’t you?”

“
Yes. We were young when
this all happened. She’d become like our mother over the years.
When she told us she was leaving, we were devastated. I remember
crying and pleading with her to stay. I felt like it was our
fault.”

More tears.

Hannah, too, was remembering that day.
I could feel their emotion, much like I had experienced with
Thomas; it just came and sucked me in, and I shared their pain as
they relived it.

“
It took us a long time to
forgive her for leaving us,” confessed Jane. “To this day, she’s
never explained why she did it.”

They fell silent and we rode
on.

I hesitated, then cautiously ventured,
“I think I may know why Sarah left you….At least part of
it.”

“
Oh?” replied Jane. She
waited for me to continue.

I took a deep breath and, hoping I
wasn’t making a mistake, dove in.

“
Sometimes people do things,
even though it appears to be the wrong decision, for the right
reasons.”

Goodness
, I thought.
I’m
not making any sense
. I stumbled for the words. Sweat beaded
on my forehead and suddenly the cool air didn’t bother me. Strange
how explanations can seem so clear in your mind and then come out
all wrong.

“
She saved herself,” said
Jane, shrugging her shoulders. “We see that now and don’t hold it
against her. What else could she have done?”

“
I don’t think that was the
reason…”

They waited for an explanation, so I
plowed on.

“
It’s uncharacteristic of
Sarah to sacrifice her principles just to save herself. However, if
her leaving meant that she could protect someone she loves…now
that’s something altogether different.”

I let that sink in for a moment, and
then added, “I believe she left to save you.”

“
That doesn’t make sense,”
said Hannah confused. “How is leaving us behind saving
us?”

Jane understood what I
meant.

“
No, I think he’s saying
they would have harmed
us
if she didn’t leave. Is that
what you mean, John?”

I nodded and could sense their minds
whirling, trying to decide if they believed me or not. I felt
tempted to try and pull some of those thoughts from them, but I
resisted. Jane’s eyes stared into the unending sea of trees before
us, and Hannah rested her head on the back of Jane’s shoulder,
looking at nothing in particular. I left them to their
contemplations.

After a while, Hannah raised her head
and asked, in an unusually quiet voice, “How do you
know?”

I debated how much I should tell them
about my last conversation with Sarah, and her desire for them to
come back with me. Jane, piqued by Hannah’s question, watched my
internal struggle with mild interest. I finally decided that now
was as good a time as any to approach the subject. If they didn’t
like Sarah’s idea, at least I had some time to convince them before
going to work on their father.

“
Before we left, Sarah
begged me to bring you and your father back. She told me that
things are changing and there would be no more shipments of food
for you—not by her choice, but because of things out of her
control. She also told me that she felt she had a role to play in
the events which are coming; but she was afraid that she couldn’t
fulfill her role while those she loves are at risk.”

“
She said that?” asked Jane
in her soft, clear voice.

“
Yes.”

Hannah laid her head back on Jane’s
shoulder and said, “I’ll go.”

“
So will I,” added
Jane.

That was rather easy,
I
thought.

“
But will your
father?”

“
I think so,” said Jane. “He
has his pride, and it won’t be easy for him to depend on others.
However, he is concerned for our protection. And if we are no
longer safe in Marysvale, in addition to running out of food...it
should be enough.”

I hoped so.

The day wore on and the fog burned off,
but clouds still covered the sky. We stopped after
midday.

“
Why are we stopping?” asked
Hannah.

“
Aren’t you tired?” I
countered.

“
Well, yes.”

“
So am I. We’ll sleep in
turns with a watch; when night falls, we’ll continue.”

Hannah groaned, “That’s hardly any
time. Why do we have to travel at night? Can’t we just keep going
and stop at dusk? We’ll get a good rest and start fresh in the
morning.”

“
When do the Brean usually
attack?” I asked her.

She thought about it, “At night; but I
don’t see how traveling will make us any safer than just staying
put. Besides, we can’t see that well in the dark.”

“
I can see well enough.
You’re right, we won’t be any safer; but we’ll be awake and our
horses rested, at least more than they are now.”

“
Oh, I suppose that makes
sense,” she conceded, as if all our plans hinged on her decision.
That said, she slid off Smoke.

We secured the horses in an area of
lush grass, and then we ate.

“
We have about six hours
before sunset. We’ll break up into three watches, two hours
each.”

“
I’ll take the first watch,”
offered Jane, and then volunteered Hannah for the
second.

Hannah looked sour at having the worst
of the time slots, but she accepted it without complaint. I felt a
little sorry for Hannah, at least Jane and I would get four hours
of uninterrupted sleep, but I didn’t feel bad enough to change
watches.

“
Then I’ll take the third,”
I said.

With that decided, I took a blanket and
lay down on the hard ground. Wrapping up in it comforted me
somewhat and I fell asleep instantly.

I dreamed again, but with much more
detail than before. This time I was running through the forest and
Jane was there, sitting, waiting for me on the lower branch of a
tree. She was a young girl, perhaps only eight years old. I don’t
know how I knew it was her, but I did. Marveling, I suddenly
realized that I was also a child. She smiled and waved. She was my
best friend, and I understood that we shared everything together.
Tired, scared, and out of breath, I ran up to her. Using her arms,
she pushed herself off the branch and catapulted to the
ground.

“
Where have you been? You
look like you’ve been playing with the pigs.”

“
In the woods,” I replied,
trying to appear brave.

“
In the storm? Did you get
lost?”

“
No,” I lied.

“
Then what were you doing
out?”

“
Nothing.”

“
Were to.”

“
It’s none of your business
what I was doing,” I snapped.

She looked surprised, “You’ve never
kept a secret from me before.”

“
This one is
different.”

“
Why?”

“
Because if I tell you,
people will get hurt,” I announced. Although I was scared, a part
of me felt proud to be part of something so important.

“
Fine, then I’m not telling
you my secret,” she said stubbornly.

“
You don’t have one; you’re
only telling me you do, so I’ll tell you mine.”

“
I do too have one; and now
I’m not telling you for sure.”

I tried to read her.

“
Hey, stop that!” she
snapped, and her mind closed. She was getting better; her thoughts
were completely blocked from me this time. I could still sense they
were there, but only shadowy figures behind a veil.

“
I wish my mother never
taught you how to do that,” I said.

“
Well, she did! And it’s not
right for you to go around digging into other people’s thoughts.
Someday, someone is going to find out what you can do, and you’ll
be in big trouble.”

“
Will not… besides,” I said
sheepishly, “someone has found out.”

Seeing the alarm on her face, I quickly
added, “They promised me that no one else would know; they wouldn’t
tell a single person, if I didn’t tell their secret.”

“
You didn’t!” she exclaimed.
“You’re going to get in a lot of trouble for this.”

“
I didn’t mean to, it was an
accident. They were scary and started asking questions. I tried not
to say anything, but I think they guessed. No one has to know. They
promised they wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“
Yeah, but
I
know
and I have to tell.”

“
Why?”

“
Because your father said
to. Please don’t be angry,” she begged. “He came to me and made me
promise to tell him if you did anything different, or if you told
anyone else. What was I supposed to say?”

“
You can’t tell him,” I
cried. “I’ll never get to play again if you do.”

“
I’m sorry,” she said. “But
I made a promise, and I don’t want to lie to him.”

“
If you do, I’ll never be
your friend again,” I threatened. “I’ll hide from you. I’ll hide
from everyone, so no one can find me….”

Tears welled in her eyes. “But your
father said! And I don’t have a choice—I promised him.”

“
Of course you have a
choice. A good friend wouldn’t tell. Aren’t you my
friend?”

“
You know I am! But I…I
can’t lie for you; it’s not right.”

“
Then you’re not my friend!”
I shouted.

“
Please,” she said while
choking back a sob. “I have to tell. But we can still be
friends.”

Good,
I thought.
If she’s
going to tell then she deserves to be hurt.

“
Then you better run along
Miss Tattletale, and while you’re at it, find another friend,” I
yelled.

She turned and, with tears streaming
down her face, she ran toward my home.

I felt sick. I was going to be in so
much trouble, there was no doubt about it. The increased chores
alone would make it certain that I wouldn’t be able to play for a
long time. What I dreaded most, was how my parents would react,
especially my father. His disapproval would be the worst. I think
it would have been much easier if they just yelled at me and got it
over with. But they wouldn’t. Quietly, they would sit me down and
make it clear how disappointed they were. There would be a sermon
on how dangerous it is for others to know about me and how we were
all put at risk when I acted like this. They would explain how
people wouldn’t understand us.