Masquerade (19 page)

“Okay, Carrie, we’re going to ask you a few questions and then we’ll give you something to stop the nausea.” John used the soothing voice all doctors seemed to have been born with. “How long have you been vomiting?”

“I had one day that was severe and then it’s been on and off for a week. It’s so weird, one minute I’m fine the next I’m running to the toilet.”

John nodded. “Have you had any loose bowel movements?”

Carrie shook her head.

“Okay, could be just a simple stomach bug that’s going around but we’ll run some tests.” John scribbled some notes and then turned to her. “Sophie, do you want to start a saline drip to get some fluids in her? Arrange for some blood to be taken. Are you in a sexual relationship?”

Color flooded Carrie’s face and she gave an affirmative nod this time.

“Might also take a urine sample and run a pregnancy test,” John said.

“Pregnant?” Carrie gasped and rose up off the bed. “I can’t be pregnant, it’s impossible.”

Sophie patted her arm. “It’s just a precaution, but if you are sexually active it’s something that needs to be considered.”

“But I can’t have children,” wailed Carrie. “I want so badly to have kids, but I’ve got horrendous endometriosis and all the doctors I’ve seen said it was a one in a million chance I’d fall.”

“How about this, we’ll do a urine pregnancy test and also request a pregnancy test with your blood work. That way we’ve covered every angle and you can rest easy and concentrate on getting well. Will that work for you, Carrie?”

“Yes, please do that.” Carrie lay back down and closed her eyes.

Sophie drew some blood, arranged for it to be sent to the lab and then went off and got a pregnancy test kit before making her way back to Carrie. Within minutes, she had what she needed and went off to the treatment room to perform the test. Her mind was wandering, thinking about the jumble of emotions Carrie was possibly feeling. There was no way, now the idea had been planted, that Carrie wasn’t thinking about a possible pregnancy and how impossible the chance could be considering her medical condition.

Sophie fixed her gaze on the white stick she held in her hand, watching in amazement as the word “pregnant” appeared slowly in the window. Miracles do happen.

The air around her changed, it sizzled and electricity buzzed through her as if her spine was a conductor for escaping neutrons. Alex had walked in.

“Who’s pregnant?” he asked, causing a shiver to sail through her body.

“Patient in cubicle one.” She turned and smiled up at him, wanting to touch her lips to his, but the possibility of someone walking in was high. “A miracle has occurred.”

“A miracle?” He asked with one raised eyebrow.

“Yep, the patient has always wanted children, but is suffering from severe endometriosis, was told she couldn’t have kids. Looks like fate had other ideas for her.”

Sophie was surprised by the way Alex’s face twisted first in anguish, then in disappointment, and was then wiped clean, devoid of any sign of emotion. She wondered whether she’d imagined the previous reaction.

“I’m sure she’ll be delighted by the news,” he said, and then strode out of the room.

Sophie had no time to comprehend what had just passed between them, so brief yet somehow so telling.

She left the treatment room with the cylindrical white stick in her hand. She saw John chatting to Phoebe and walked over to them.

“I think we can cancel any other tests, John.”

“Why?”

“Our patient’s pregnant.” She held up the stick for him to see. “Do you want me to tell her?”

“No, let’s wait for confirmation from the blood work. I know these pregnancy tests are ninety-nine percent accurate, but we’re talking about a young woman who has been told she can never have children. We don’t want to give her the news only to find out for some bizarre reason the test was a false positive. Wait until we have concrete confirmation from the blood test.”

Sophie had to agree, John had a point. “Fair enough, but she knows I took a urine sample and that pregnancy tests are over in a matter of minutes. Did the lab give any indication of when the results will be back?”

“They should be back in about thirty minutes. I requested a rush on them.” John broke off and yawned. “I’m going to take off, Sophie, you can deal with Carrie. If not, I’m sure Alex will help you. I’m beat.”

“Fine, I’ll work something out.” She sighed. There must be a way she could let Carrie know that everything was fine and not give away the result of the pregnancy test.

The phone rang and Sophie spent the next few minutes sorting out calls and other dramas. The next thing she knew, the test results for Carrie were back. She opened them and held her breath. After a quick scan, she let the breath out and smiled. Carrie was indeed pregnant.

Sophie stopped by the information board and picked up a couple of brochures about pregnancy and dealing with morning sickness. She also picked up an information sheet listing options for hospital or homebirth.

This time when she opened the curtain, she found Carrie cuddling up to a man, whom she assumed was her partner.

“Hi,” she said and the couple sprang apart. Sophie noticed that Carrie’s companion kept a tight hold on her hand. “Sorry for the delay, the phones went haywire. Well I have some news. You’re — ”

“Not pregnant,” Carrie said, disappointment coloring her words.

Sophie couldn’t help it — her smile got bigger as she held out the pregnancy test for Carrie to see. “Uh-uh, quite the opposite. You’re pregnant.”

The look on Carrie’s face was priceless; Sophie loved delivering news like this. There was nothing quite like it.

“Are you sure?” Carried asked.

Sophie then held out the blood work sheet, to confirm the result of the pregnancy stick Sophie had handed Carrie.

“Oh my goodness,” Carrie whispered. “I just thought it was a stomach bug lingering, but it’s been morning sickness all along.” She turned to her partner. “Jake, we’re gonna have a baby. We’re gonna have a baby.”

She started to cry and Jake gently wrapped her up in his arms. He looked up at Sophie, love and happiness, along with the sheen of his own tears, shining in his eyes. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” Sophie placed the brochures on the bed. “Something for you to read when your minds are clearer. I’ll leave you to it.”

She made her way to her office wanting some time to think. She closed the door and sank down into her chair.

I thought it was a lingering stomach bug.
The words kept tumbling and twisting through her mind like a rollercoaster ride at a carnival.

No, it couldn’t be.

Sophie glanced at the calendar and mentally counted the days.

She was late. Many, many, many days late.

No, it was just the stress of the job. Stress always messes up cycles.

But the more she argued with herself the more the thought buried its sharp talons in her mind. There was only one thing she could do.

She rolled the chair back and stood, her legs feeling so shaky, like she’d drunk a bottle of expensive champagne by herself. Tightening the loose muscles she went back to the treatment room and picked up two pregnancy kits. She wasn’t going to take any chances.

Slipping them into the waistband of her skirt, she opened the door and headed for the ladies’ toilet.

She quickly ducked inside and hoped nobody had seen her. Her fingers were quaking like an earthquake and the thin cardboard finally ripped open. She was about to reach for the second box when sanity briefly appeared in her mind.

How effective would it be to do two tests at once? Probably best to do one now and then one in the morning.

She held the white stick, the stick that had the potential to change her life as quickly as it had changed Carrie’s.

But would Alex be as happy as Jake had been? When Alex had seen Carrie’s test in her hand a range of emotions had crossed his face, and she recalled his words as he explained his previous marriage:
There were no children, thank goodness.

Would he want their child?

Just take the test.

Sucking in a deep breath, savoring the feel of the oxygen filling her lungs, giving her a false bravado, she stepped through the cubicle door.

When she’d finished she flushed the toilet, put the seat down and sat, waiting for the required time to pass. She looked everywhere but at the stick in her hand.

Her heart pounded loudly in her ears, and she was sure it was echoing around the room.

The door to the ladies’ room opened and a couple of people came in giggling about something. She blocked her ears — she didn’t want to hear anything. She stayed still and waited until she heard the muffled sound of toilets flushing.

She pulled her hands away from her ears just as the noise of the girls receded behind the outer door again.

She closed her eyes one last time before opening them again and looking at the stick.

Her vision seemed to blur for a moment and she flicked her eyes toward the ceiling and then back down again.

Pregnant.
The word jumped out at her from the little window.

An innocuous word but that word had just changed the goal posts of her life. A line had been drawn in the sand on her past, and her future just took on a whole new perspective.

Pregnant.

She was pregnant with Alex’s child.

Pregnant.

How did it happen? Stupid question, really — she knew
how
it happened, but why? They’d been so careful and it had only been one night. Although as a nurse she knew contraception wasn’t a hundred percent foolproof.

“Sophie, are you in here?” Phoebe’s voice echoed around the bathroom.

How long had she been sitting there?

“Coming,” she called out as she flushed the toilet and stuffed the test inside her waistband again.

“Are you okay? Alex sent me in because he was worried.”

Sophie felt the color leach out of her face, and she gripped the door handle a bit tighter. She couldn’t stay in the cubicle forever. She walked out, determined not to let Phoebe know it was anything other than a routine visit to the bathroom.

“Alex saw me come in?” she asked, trying not to squirm under Phoebe’s intense gaze.

“He did. And you know what, Soph?” Phoebe paused and Sophie knew what was coming. “I’ve not pressured you at all since New Year’s Eve but something is up. Can’t you tell me what it is? Please?”

It would be so easy to share the burden of what she’d just found out with her friend. But was it fair to tell Phoebe first and not Alex?

“I’m pregnant.” The words burst out of her like a balloon bursting with the merest prick of a pin.

Phoebe stepped in and hugged her. “How long have you known?”

Sophie extracted herself and pulled the test out of her waistband. “Found out about two minutes ago. That’s why I’ve been sick, it wasn’t a stomach bug at all. It was morning sickness.” Hysteria bubbled and brewed inside of her. “Just like my patient, I had no idea. The thought of being pregnant didn’t even cross my mind. We were careful.” The tears started to fall then. “This is so unexpected. What am I going to do?”

She felt Phoebe’s arms wrap around her again. Her friend’s complete acceptance of her situation dispelled some of the anguish and shock that had set in.

When she finally had herself under control, she pulled away and went to splash some water on her face.

“Thanks, Phoebs. I’m okay now.” She sounded more confident than she actually felt.

“I take it the reason for your despair is because the baby is Neil’s?”

“What? No, of course, it’s not Neil’s.” Her response was automatic.

“What do you mean it’s not Neil’s?”

“I hadn’t slept with Neil for a couple of months before we broke up. You know that.”

“No, up until a second ago, I had no idea what the state of your sex life with Neil was.” Phoebe crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow. “So if it’s not Neil’s then whose baby is it?”

Sophie took a deep breath; she needed someone to talk to about this before she faced Alex and who better than her best friend.

“Alex’s.”

Phoebe’s mouth opened and shut a few times, and if the situation weren’t so serious, Sophie would have laughed.

“I think you’d better tell me everything,” Phoebe managed to sputter and grabbed her by the hand. “But not here, you and I are going for a drink.”

“My shift isn’t finished,” Sophie reminded her.

“Yes it is, it finished the moment you walked into that room and took that test.”

“Phoebe, I can’t leave. I’m the NUM and I’ve been off sick.” She shook her head, determined to get the point across. “How would it look if I left on a whim?”

Phoebe looked her dead in the eye. “Tell me you will seriously be able to concentrate after knowing what you now know? Tell me you can work with Alex and be normal around him and I’ll let you walk back out there and continue your shift.”

Sophie hated to admit it but Phoebe had a point. She knew that Alex would be hovering over her, watching her every move. The way she was feeling right now, it was highly likely she’d blurt out in front of everyone that she was pregnant. She could imagine how well that would go down.

“You’re right, Phoebs. I won’t be able to act normal around Alex.”

Phoebe embraced her. “Everything will be okay. Once you’ve had a chance to take it all in, you’ll know what to do. And remember, I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thanks, Phoebs.”

They left the ladies’ room together, Sophie trailing behind Phoebe, judiciously avoiding the eyes of her fellow staff members.

When they entered Sophie’s office her breath caught at the sight of Alex pacing the room.

It hit her then — she was going to be a mother and the man pacing the room was the father of her child. A glow started low in the pit of her stomach, before radiating out to the tips of her fingers and toes.

She was going to be a mother. She was still scared about how Alex was going to take the news. But no matter what he said or did she was going to love this child. She would be the best mother she could be and if she was a single mother, then so be it.