Master of My Mind BN (12 page)

I don’t want other
Doms
coming to me with complaints.
“Bastard!”
I hissed as I stripped and started the shower.

Standing beneath the hot spray, I scrubbed the oily film
Tony’s insult left behind. I may never win a “Submissive of the Year” award,
but I didn’t purposefully go out of my way to be disrespectful, either. The man
was a callous and insensitive prick. I’d wanted to rail at him so badly, but
I’d kept my cool and walked away. That, in itself, was progress. Could he not
see that?
Probably not.
His stinging condemnation was another glaring reminder that entertaining
fantasies about the man was foolish and a waste of my time.

The next few weeks crawled by. I spent too much time
sleeping and weeping. Surrounded by the memories of George wasn’t helping.
After serious consideration, I agreed to move into a new room. Mika pulled out
all the stops, transforming a private play room into a cozy living space. The
new apartment was much smaller than the one I’d rented before moving in with
George, but at least my new furnishings far surpassed the hodge-podge I’d
scrounged from the thrift store, eons ago.

Ironically, my new digs were flanked by Tony’s room on one
side and Master Stephen’s on the other. The walls were thick, and I usually
heard little to nothing. But a few times I’d been awakened by the sound of
raised voices as Stephen and Carnation argued. Thankfully, I’d not been exposed
to a whisper as Tony cared for his throng of pain sluts.

After a few weeks in my new place, I found myself growing
stronger. I spent less time crying and more time focused on getting on with my
life. While I slid back into the depths of depression, I didn’t allow myself to
linger there for long. I mentally yanked up my big girl panties and started
back on the road without George.

After my spat with Tony in the bar that morning, I tried to
distance myself from the man. But he wasn’t easily dissuaded. He visited often,
usually with breakfast or dinner in hand, and offered up suggestions on ways to
help me cope with my grief. While the loss of George was becoming easier to
manage, I still wasn’t healed.

Plagued by the thought that I might possibly be using Tony
as a form of super glue, to mend my broken heart, his daily visits weren’t
helping me figure that emotional mess out.

I couldn’t help but notice it was a struggle for the
normally controlled Dom to keep his hands off me. Every time he reached out to
caress me, he’d pull his hand back as if he’d been burned. And the times he
lost his head and kissed me, I felt the earth shift beneath my feet.

For the most part, we just talked. Tony shared stories of
his family. The man had more brothers and sisters than I could keep straight.
But he spoke of them with such devotion I knew the love he felt for his family
was unconditional. Thankfully he never pressed for information about mine.

I spent my days looking for a job like I had at the café,
one that would pay me in cash under the table, without having to fill out an
employment application. It limited my options, but I continued to scour the
want ads in hopes of being able to support myself once again.

I carried a copy of the restraining order George had
executed inside my purse, but it did little to alleviate my worries. Matt would
someday find me. I managed to keep a lid on my fears, staying diligent of my
surroundings, and carried on one day at a time.

Nights at Genesis were the loneliest, but that was my own
doing. I chose to isolate myself inside my room and read while I fought the
urge to seek out Tony.

Fantasizing more and more about the man only added to the
rollercoaster of longing and self-restraint raging within. He filled my nightly
dreams with animalistic sex and control, and it was becoming increasingly hard
to shove my tangled emotions for him aside. My ridiculous jealousies had grown
stronger, as well. The thought of watching him working the subs, fulfilling
their needs,
played
havoc with my sanity. So I hid
from him, like a child. It was gutless but emotionally safer for me.

Mika stopped by the club a few nights a week, but for the
most part he stayed by Julianna’s side. Trevor, Savannah and I visited her
several times a week, but the poor thing was climbing the walls. With four
weeks to go until her April thirteenth due date, I worried she’d go nuts before
the baby arrived.

Dressed in Burberry skinny jeans and a grey
Akris
cashmere sweater, I stared at the clock on the wall;
it was ten-twenty-five. Mika had phoned a few hours earlier and asked that I
meet him in his office at ten-thirty. Just as I reached for the knob on my
door, there came a knock.

Pulling it open I found Tony dressed in a sleek, tailored
Italian suit, looking decadently drool-worthy. His deep bronze skin, peeking
beneath the unbuttoned collar of the white oxford shirt, beckoned my tongue.
His tie hung loose beneath the crisp collar. A panty-melting, nipple hardening
smile curled on his lips as his gaze roamed up and down my body in hungry
approval.

“You look gorgeous, angel,” he said in a smooth seductive
voice as he sidled in close to me.

“Thank you. You look extremely handsome yourself,” I
whispered as a rush of heat ignited within. “What’s with the suit?”

“I’m giving a lecture today at the University.”

“Ah, I see. Arming all those young minds with scalpels and
probes to dissect and analyze people’s deepest secrets?” I smirked.

“Why, Miss Bennett, I believe you’re purposefully maligning
the science of psychology.”

“You think?” I giggled.

“
Hrmm
, if I didn’t know better I’d
say you were begging for a red ass,” Tony growled as a lurid grin crawled
across his lips.

“No, Sir. As you can plainly see, I’m
not
on my knees,” I said with a sassy smirk.
“What are you doing here?”

He moved in close behind me, pressing his hard body against
my back. “I can order you to your knees if you’d like, sweetheart,” he growled
in my ear. “We both know you’d enjoy the hell out of it.”

His erection was hot and hard and wedged between the cheeks
of my ass. My nipples drew up tight, and a rush of cream oozed onto my already
wet thong. Unable to hide my thundering arousal, I gasped then sucked in a
quivering breath.

Yes, I
would
enjoy the
hell out of being naked, on my knees at Tony’s feet. It was how my nightly
dreams with him began before morphing into sizzling sexual escapades that
always ended with thundering orgasms. It felt pathetic that my sex life had been
reduced to vivid, wet dreams.

“I stopped by to escort you up to Mika’s office.”

 
I tamped down my
arousal, turned and took a few steps back to put some much needed distance
between us.

“Why? What’s the meeting about? What have you two cooked up
for my life
this
time?”

Tony leaned in closer, reaching around me, he landing a hard
swat on my ass. I jumped and yelped in surprise.

“What was that for?” I demanded. The sting spread down my
legs and made my knees quiver. I reached up and placed my hand on his shoulder
to steady myself, fighting the urge to close my eyes and savor the dull throb.

“Your smart mouth,” he growled, a glint of mischief danced
in his eyes.

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

“
Leagh
, when people are trying to
help you, it’s polite to say thank you, not ask why or lash out with flippant
remarks.”

“It wasn’t flippant, it was true. Besides, I didn’t ask for
help.”

Tony chuckled softly. His hypnotic eyes held me prisoner.
“No, you didn’t. You never do. And that’s the problem. You need to realize that
just because you don’t ask for it doesn’t mean we’re not going to give it.”

“Yes, I get that, Doc,” I replied, flashing him a sarcastic
smile and peeling myself away from his gaze. “I just don’t want people feeling
obligated. I’m better every day. I’m still having a little trouble finding a
job, but that will eventually work out, too. I’m sure.”
  

“Do you honestly think we feel obligated to help you?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve certainly done nothing to
deserve it.”

“You think that you have to earn our support?”

“It would make me feel less guilty.”

“You have nothing to feel guilty about. You were George’s
sub. He touched the lives of a lot of people here. If we ignored the needs of
the sub he left behind, it would be as heartless as spitting on his grave. Stop
getting your hackles up every time we try to help you, okay? You’re part of our
family here, like it or not.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Good girl. Now, let’s go.”

“Yes, Sir.”
I nodded.

Tony’s eyes flared as another devastating smile spread
across his mouth. My traitorous pussy fluttered.
Focus.
I chided inwardly.

Climbing the back staircase, Tony pressed his wide palm
against the small of my back. While the heat of his skin made my body ache, the
closer we got to the top of the stairs the more tension I felt rolling off him.
What did
he
have to be nervous about?
Something was wrong. I stopped and turned around. A grim expression lined his
face.

“What does Mika want to talk to me about?” I demanded,
searching for clues in his dark eyes.

“Reed’s coming to see you,” Tony replied, his brows drew
together ever so slightly.

 
“Okay. So explain why
that makes you nervous. What does he want?”

“I’m worried he might upset you. I’m sure his visit has
something to do with George. You’ve been making great strides over these past
few weeks. I don’t want anything to cause a setback.”

“You’re right. I am getting stronger. Whatever Reed has to
say, I’ll handle it. I’ll be okay.”

Tony’s nod was less than reassuring, but I didn’t want him
delving into my psyche any further in the stairwell. Turning back around, I
climbed the last few stairs, my mind whirling with questions that would
hopefully be answered soon. I sucked in a deep breath and fortified myself for
what lay ahead.

Tony reached around me and knocked on Mika’s door. Julianna
opened it. Her round belly looked bigger than it did the day before. The petite
woman looked miserable, as if someone had stuck an olive on a toothpick. The
makeup trying to conceal the dark circles under her eyes couldn’t hide the fact
that she’d not been sleeping. Seeing her bright and cheerful smile helped ease
my worries for her and the baby.

“What are you doing here?” I exclaimed as I reached out for
a hug. “Better yet, how did you manage to break out of prison?”

She giggled as she bent at the waist to deflect her enormous
belly and hugged me tight. “I bribed the warden with a blow job, of course.”

“So you made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. That a girl,”
I giggled. “Lord, you look like you’re ready to pop. Are you sure you’re going
to make it four more weeks?”

“God, I hope not. I feel like the Hindenburg. My feet are
swollen, and I can’t get these stupid contractions to stop. Thankfully, the
doctor thinks I might deliver early, which would be a blessing.”

“You will not deliver my son until he’s done cooking, is
that clear, pet?” Mika barked, wearing his most intimidating Dom scowl.

“It’s a boy?” I grinned.

“Master thinks so.” Julianna rolled her eyes. “I think it’s
a girl. He deserves a girl that will have all the boys drooling after her
someday, don’t you think?”

“You’re so bad,” I laughed.

“Behave, pet!” Mika warned.

“Oh, Master. I am behaving. How much trouble can I get into
like this?” Julianna patted her baby belly and grinned.

“With you, my love, anything is possible.” Mika shook his
head before gathering me into a tight hug. “Thanks for coming up,
Leagh
.”

“You’re welcome, Sir.” He released me and extended his hand,
inviting me to sit on the long leather couch. I eased onto the cushion as Tony
took a seat next to me. I couldn’t help but grin as I watched Julianna plop
into Mika’s office chair with a groan.

 
“I received a call
from Reed
Landes
yesterday morning. He wants to speak
with you, so I invited him to come here.”

“Do you know what he wants, Sir?” I asked poised on the edge
of a soft, buttery couch.

There was a loud knock at the door before Mika could reply.
When he opened the door, Reed stepped through wearing a broad smile. It was
almost too wide, and I could see the underlying tension in his eyes.

“How are you holding up,
Leagh
?”
he asked as he bent and kissed my cheek.

“I’m doing pretty good…finally.
How about
you?”
I asked studying the defined lines around his eyes that I’d never
noticed before.

“It’s different around the court house. But we’re adjusting.
Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t contact you earlier about what happened with Sloane
and Hayden and the house. George wouldn’t have wanted it that way, but Hayden
filed a repossession claim, declaring you a squatter. She’d altered the
verbiage of the customary order, exempting you from due process. If I had
appealed, George’s estate would have been tied up in legalese for months. As it
stood, Hayden was going to inherit the house regardless, but it pissed me off
that she’d used Bernard to file, sign, and expedite the order.” Reed shook his
head in disgust.

“It’s not a problem. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay
there.” The pain I thought I’d managed to put to rest came rushing back. I
shoved a tight smile past the surging rawness.

“Bernard’s involvement is a blatant conflict of interest,”
Mika growled.

“No doubt about that, but to prove it, I’d wind up having to
drag Sloane’s affair and George’s reputation through the mud.” Reed looked at
me his eyes filled with regret. “I’m sorry
Leagh
. I
know you lost everything, but I couldn’t in good conscience do that to him.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t have let you. Hayden did
it to spite me. She always hated the fact that I was younger than her. She
thought my relationship with George was disgusting. Besides, the threats she
and Sloane have leveled against me have me gagged and bound. If word about
George’s association with Genesis got out, they promised to sue me for
defamation of character. That’s a can of worms I’d rather leave unopened.”