Mastered 2: Ten Tales of Sensual Surrender (59 page)

Chapter Four

Corinne stared at Nate, at a loss for words.  She’d known that Nate was a Dominant.  If she hadn’t had that confirmed by Steven and Nate himself in the past, she only had to look at Nate to know.  To feel her own reaction to him every time she was in his presence. Knowing that, though, she’d never imagined he had any thoughts of becoming her Dom.

He was watching her closely.  His eyes drilling into her as if he could see inside her.  She felt intimidated, exposed, vulnerable—afraid, God, yes, afraid.  Nate was a formidable presence.  He would be a formidable Dom, of that she had no doubt.  She closed her eyes against the force she could feel emanating from him now that he’d made his abrupt declaration, voiced his intent.

But, along with all that she was feeling, she couldn’t deny a pulsing had begun at her core and her nipples had gone tight.

She opened her eyes to find him still watching her with the same steady regard.  Her nerves thrummed and she licked her lips.  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Forget for the moment what you think I want you to say, and just tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I’m—blown away.  I never expected this.  I never thought you saw me as anything other than Steven’s wife.”

His eyes sparked.  “I always saw you as a lot more than Steven’s wife.  It was the fact that you were his wife that I kept my silence—and my distance.”

She shook her head.  “You wanted me—my submission when I was married to Steven?”

“I’ve wanted your submission longer than that, since the moment I met you.  I recognized at once what you were and I wanted you. That didn’t change when you married Steven.”  Nate’s jaw firmed.  “I will regret until I take my last breath that I never acted on my desire for you when you were with Steven.  You never said if that night you came to me was the first time Steven had ever hurt you.  I suspect it wasn’t.” Nate’s nostrils flared but then his eyes became shadowed, filled with pain.  “If I had known what he was doing to you . . .”  He shook his head.  “But I didn’t.  My fault.  I deliberately stayed away from you so you wouldn’t see how I felt about you and so I wouldn’t torture myself with what I couldn’t have.” His eyes blazed.  “If I’d known, you and I would have had this conversation a long time ago.  We can’t undo the past, but we can move  forward.  You can move forward.  With me.”

“You’ve been my rock for so long.  How could I have not known any of this?”  Caught unawares, off-guard, she felt a surge of panic and spoke the words more to herself.

But Nate reached out and tenderly cupped her chin.  Her eyes widened as soon as he touched her.  Sorrow filled his eyes for an instant and he lowered his hand.

“I didn’t want you to know,” he said gently.  “I explained the reasons why I didn’t want you to know when you were married, and after, you were so hurt.  I didn’t want you to have to deal with more.  I waited and I would have gone on waiting.  I don’t need to wait any longer.

“You’re working your way back, Corinne.  Moving back to Blake.  Enrolling at the university. Going to The Club tonight.  You took those steps.  Whether your mind has accepted it yet or not, you’re ready to move on.  You were made for the lifestyle.  Just looking at you now, I can see you’re wary, apprehensive, but that’s not all you’re feeling.  At just the thought of giving your submission, your pupils have dilated, your breathing has picked up.  Your skin has gone a beautiful rosy color that has nothing to do with the warm drink.”

Corinne clutched her mug harder on a wave of despair.  “The steps I took failed.  We learned that tonight.  I’m not ready to be anyone’s submissive.”

“Not anyone’s submissive.  Mine.  You’re ready to be my submissive, Corinne.  You got yourself to this point.  It’s up to me to take over from here.  To get you where you want to be. Where you need to be.  All you have to do is say ‘yes’.”

She hadn’t exaggerated when she’d told Nate she was blown away by his declaration earlier.  Then and now, he’d thrown her for a loop. She’d never suspected, never thought they could be more than they were.  But could they?  Could they really?

Nate.
She hadn’t ever looked at him as more than her friend.  Of course she’d acknowledged he was a handsome man, powerfully built, as any breathing woman would, but when she’d met Nate, she’d been with Steven, in love with Steven.  Nate had been Steven’s friend.  Then, after Steven, her friend.

But now she took a good hard look at Nate, allowing herself to take in just how hot he was.  Broad shouldered.  Lean hipped.  A chest she knew was all muscle from the few times she’d seen him without his shirt. Oh, yes, he was hot.

And he was dominant.

The way he was looking at her now, his eyes hot and hungry, unmasked, as if all he’d kept hidden for so long was now given free rein for her to see.  He was looking at her as if he already possessed her, already owned her.  It sent a delicious shiver coursing through her but on the heels of that wonderful sensation came fear.   She yearned for what Nate was offering.  Ached for it.  But fear had a choke hold on her.

“I don’t know if I can, Nate.” Her throat was dry, tight.  “I don’t know. This has all happened so fast.”  She formed the word “no” in her mind but then couldn’t say it.  Instead she said, “I need time to think.”

He reached out and tenderly brushed his fingertips across her cheek for an instant, lowering his hand before she could become alarmed.  “I’ve waited more than two years.  I can wait until you’re sure.  I want you to be sure because you’re it for me, Corinne. You. Your submission. There’s no other woman for me.  There will never be another woman for me.  I want you to be sure, because once I have you, I’ll never let you go.”

Chapter Five

For the last three days since Corinne had left the café, with Nate following her all the way home in his truck, his declaration that he’d wanted her all this time and his offer to be her Dom were all she thought of.

She knew Nate.  Nate her friend.  She didn’t know him in the capacity of a Dominant.  She believed she knew the kind of Dom he’d be.  He didn’t act a part.  He lived it.  His dominance was as natural to him as breathing.  While knowing that had the submissive in her aching to fall on her knees before him, the part of her that could still think felt real fear at the thought of putting herself, trusting herself and her well-being to another man and not just any man, one as forceful as Nate.

But being submissive was as natural to her as breathing as well and she couldn’t keep Nate and what he could give her from her thoughts.  And so here they were, back at the same café.  She’d called Nate to talk.

She arrived early and ordered a soothing cup of tea to calm her nerves that felt like they were jumping like live wires.  Her hands felt like blocks of ice and she kept them curled around the warm mug.

She watched him walk in the door.  Handsome.  Muscled.  A few inches over six feet which made him one foot taller than she was.  He probably outweighed her by eighty or ninety pounds as well—all of it pure muscle by the look of him.

As beautiful as he was to look at, Corinne couldn’t help but think how all that hard muscle could hurt.  Steven had been beautiful as well . . .

God, what was she doing?  She had to be out of her mind to want back in to the lifestyle, to willingly give Nate or any other man permission to do with her as he would.  To give her choices over to another man.  Panic clawed at her throat.  When Nate reached her table, Corinne all but leapt to her feet, sending the chair skidding across the tile floor.

“I shouldn’t have called you,” she said in a rush.

She brushed by Nate.  The insane fear that he might not let her pass had her heart rate soaring and her belly roiling. In another minute, she’d lose the contents of her stomach all over him.  But he stepped aside.

She made it to the side of her car just as her stomach heaved and she emptied the soup and crackers she’d had for lunch onto the asphalt.  With her nerves wound tight, she hadn’t had dinner.

“That’s it.  Get it out.”

Nate’s strong voice drew nearer then he dropped to a crouch beside her.

“Breathe,” he said softly.

When she had nothing left in her, she felt weak, wrung out.  She braced herself with a palm on the fender to keep from falling onto her ass or her face on the cold damp pavement.

“Easy.  Breathe through it.  Give yourself a moment,” Nate said.

She tried to get to her feet but flopped back.  Nate’s arms came up to catch her, but when he saw she’d gained her balance, he lowered them.

“Better?”  Nate asked, his tone soft.

She nodded.

“Think you can stand now?”

She didn’t know for sure but, using the car for support, she made it to her feet.  Nate rose slowly with her, arms outstretched to catch her should she fall.  Again, now that they were standing toe to toe and she had to tilt her head way back to meet his gaze, the difference in their sizes struck her.

Nate’s brows were lowered as his eyes caressed her, but the expression in those dark eyes changed, deepened.  “I can see you’re afraid of me, Corinne.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“I’m a Dom, remember.  I know how to read a submissive even if that sub hadn’t just bolted out of the coffee shop like she was being chased by the devil himself and then spent the last five minutes emptying her stomach in a parking lot.”

She nodded and released a shaky breath.  “Point taken. Nate, I don’t mean to lead you on. I’m sorry.  I made a mistake.  I shouldn’t have called you.  I shouldn’t have brought you here for nothing.”

“No problem about that.  What is a problem is your fear.  It’s stopping you from living your life.” He frowned.  “You need to sit down.”  Nate held out his hand.  “Give me your keys.”  When she complied, he unlocked her driver’s side door and held the door for her while she seated herself behind the wheel, sideways so her feet were on the pavement.  Nate handed her keys back to her and braced an arm on the roof of the car.

“I’m a mess, Nate,” Corinne said.  “I don’t know if that will ever change.  I want this though I must be wired wrong, out of my mind to want this again.”

Nate’s eyes went hot with anger.  “There’s nothing wrong with you.  You’re not wired wrong.  You’re not crazy.  Stop that right now.  It was Steven who was wrong.  Steven’s pleasure was not linked to yours as it should be between a Dominant and his submissive.  Steven got off hurting you in ways he liked it and didn’t care that you didn’t.  Don’t let him continue to dictate how you live your life. Don’t let him continue to cause you to doubt yourself and how you choose to give love and to receive it.”

His anger for her, his outrage on her behalf, struck her deeply.  She closed her eyes, on the verge of tears at his compassionate words and the vehemence behind them.

Nate’s voice became gentle. “Come home with me for one hour, Corinne.”

Corinne opened her eyes.  “One hour?”  She shook her head.  “Why? What will only one hour prove?”

Nate smiled.  “For one thing, you’re already thinking it’s a negligible period of time and that’s acceptable to you.  First steps, remember?”

Her insides tightened.  “I need to know what your expectations are.”

Nate met her gaze, his direct and uncompromising. “I expect your complete obedience and submission.  I realize that at first you won’t know what complete obedience is with me and I’ll teach you just what that entails—all that entails.  But while I will demand your obedience, I don’t want you to ever feel you can’t talk to me about anything that makes you uncomfortable or ask me to explain a command I’ve issued if what I want is unclear.”

Corinne’s breathing picked up at Nate’s words, her submissiveness responding to him.  He was saying everything she so longed to hear but what about what he wasn’t saying?  “What about pain?  Do you like to give pain?”

“What if I applied my hand or a flogger to your beautiful ass?  If I tied you, bound you so completely you couldn’t move, couldn’t free yourself and would only be free when I decided to release you?”

Heat surged through her.

“What are you feeling right now?” Nate asked.

She was aroused for the first time in over two years.  “Excitement,” she said in a whisper.

“Your body remembers what it needs,” Nate said, his tone gentle. “To answer your question about pain, yes, there would be pain.” Something feral glimmered in his eyes.  “Because I like it.” He paused, letting that sink in, then added, “I enjoy inflicting pain and I would do so, but only pain that will give you pleasure.”

Desire built within her feeding the flames.  Everything she’d ever wanted, dreamed about was what Nate was promising, but then so had Steven . . .

Nate leaned in closer to her.  “Know this above all else: Nothing will happen that you don’t want.  And I would never initiate any type of play without discussing your limits first and mine.”

Corinne blinked.  “Your limits?”

“As your Dom, my responsibility as well as my concern is to keep you safe first and foremost at all times.  There are lines I won’t cross if I think they will risk you in any way or if I think you aren’t ready for them.  Will I push your boundaries?  Yes.  But it will be my job to learn what you can take and what will give you the most pleasure.  A Dom’s job is to give his sub what she needs.”

His limits were tied to what was best for his sub or so he said . . .  “What if something you’re really into is a hard limit for me?”

He eyed her.  “Then we’d discuss it beforehand.  We would take things slowly.  Bring you back into the lifestyle slowly.”  He exhaled deeply.  “I can see that you’re afraid and with good reason.  We will take things slowly.  I’ve never lied to you, Corinne.  Not about anything.  I’m not lying to you now. You have my word on this.  I’d like you to be open to trying new things before you decide something isn’t for you, but if you had a real aversion to something I wouldn’t force it.  I would
never
force you.”

Corinne bit her lower lip and clasped her hands together.  “I have hard limits.”  She didn’t need to think about what they were.

“I’m listening.”

“No fists. No knives.” Her chest tightened.  “And no suspension.”  The memory of herself suspended on the hook in Steven’s dungeon while he beat her for the sake of beating her had her body shuddering.

Something flashed in Nate’s eyes then was gone.  He nodded.  “Safe word?”

“Stop. ‘Stop’ would be my safe word.  I would want there to be no mistake.  No misinterpretation.”

Nate’s features tightened.  His brows lowered and his eyes grew more avid on her as if he were searching for something inside her.  Maybe it was the force with which she’d blurted her limits that had provoked the intensity of Nate’s regard.  Nate wouldn’t know how she’d cried and begged and screamed her safe word to Steven only to have it ignored.

Her mouth quivered and she held his unwavering gaze just as steadily, though as a sub, her every instinct was to lower her gaze.  She held his.

Nate’s eyes bore into hers. “Once you use your safe word, it’s over for me.  Immediately.  Everything stops.”

Corinne believed him but then she’d believed Steven too. She closed her eyes, needing a moment to herself, a moment out of his piercing gaze, out from under his dominance that she could feel like an aura over her and her own body yearning toward it.

And that was the bottom line.  She wanted this.  Craved this.  Felt adrift . . . lost.  She needed a man to take control, to own her.  To do with her whatever he wanted.  She wanted to surrender all to such a man.  And not just any man.  It struck her that she wanted that man to be Nate.

He was offering her a chance.  She had to take it. 
Had to try.
  If she couldn’t get back her sexuality, she didn’t know what she’d do.  She’d be forever lost.  With her denying this part of herself, her life wasn’t working.

She opened her eyes and licked her lips.  Her nerves pulled tighter.  “You said to give you one hour?” She needed to reestablish the boundaries.

Nate nodded.

Corinne’s palms dampened, became slick with sweat.  “Okay.  One hour.”