Matchmaker Cat (A Romantic Comedy Short Story) (2 page)

We talked and
talked over our meals of pollo farcito and salmone paradiso at the
Italian restaurant in the centre of town. It was a nice place, not
too posh to be intimidating, and not too scummy either. We spent
two hours together and had gone through starter, main course and
dessert, before I even thought to look at my watch.

‘How are you
getting home, Rosemary?’ he asked as the waiter went to fetch the
bill.

‘I’ll take a
taxi.’ I’d got there by bus, which was fine in the early evening,
but not so pleasant late at night.

‘Want to
share?’

I shook my
head. ‘No, it’s all right.’

‘It’s not much
out of my way, and it’ll save you a few bob.’

He looked at me
with those smiling eyes and I just had to say yes. Anyway, it was
an excuse to spend a little more time in his company.

It was, maybe,
presumptuous of me to invite him in for a drink when the cab
stopped outside my house, but as soon as the question was out of my
mouth, I felt it was the right thing to do.

I led him up
the stone steps towards the front door of my Victorian terrace.
‘Watch out for the bike in the hallway,’ I said as I turned the key
in the lock and stepped inside. Out of habit, I put my handbag on
the coathook before following it with my jacket and reaching over
for the lightswitch.

‘Ow!’ Riss
exclaimed.

The light came
on to reveal Riss in the hallway, standing by my bike and rubbing
his ankle.

I hid my smile
behind my hand. ‘I did warn you.’

‘The pedal was
sticking out.’ He rubbed his ankle still further.

‘Sorry,’ I
said. ‘Why don’t I put the kettle on and you can rest your foot in
the lounge? It’s the door on the left.’

He walked over
to the door as I suggested, exaggerating his limp like
Quasimodo.

As the kettle
boiled and I put two teaspoons of instant coffee granules into two
mugs, I thought about the evening we had had together and I
couldn’t stop the smile from breaking out on my face. A week ago, I
couldn’t have imagined meeting a man like him - let alone inviting
him back to my house. And yet, there he was, with just one thin
Victorian wall between us.

I took the two
steaming mugs into the lounge. He’d made himself comfortable on the
sofa, sinking into its aged cushions with his feet stretched out in
front of him. I was about to ask him something about taking sugar
in his coffee when I stopped short.

My saggy red
sofa is a two-seater. The idea is; one human being sits on the seat
to the right and the second human being sits on the seat to the
left. And, if the two human beings are so inclined, they get a
little closer and end up snuggling somewhere in the middle. But, on
this occasion, Riss was sitting on the right-hand cushion - and so
was my cat!

I cleared my
through as I handed Riss his coffee. ‘I don’t usually let Chester
onto the furniture.’

‘Oh, Chester’s
all right,’ said Riss, stroking the white patch of fur under
Chester’s chin with his index finger, causing my cat to squint in
ecstasy. ‘Aren’t you Chester?’ Chester purred.

I sighed. The
two of them looked so comfortable that I decided to bite my lip. I
sat down on the left-hand cushion, with Chester between us.

Riss moved to
drink his coffee.

‘There’s no
sugar in it, I hope that’s all right,’ I said.

‘Just how I
like it.’ He took a sip, even though it was near-scalding hot.

I went to sip
my own, but the heat coming off the top of the coffee was enough to
warn me off and I lowered it towards my lap to cool.

Riss continued
to stroke Chester, who continued to grin in that serene way cats
have when they’re being fussed over. ‘I love cats,’ he said.
‘They’re so less demanding than a dog and yet they love you all the
same.’

‘Or they love
that you feed them,’ I said.

Riss chuckled.
‘Indeed. My cat, Lindy, rushes up to me as soon as I get home like
she’s really pleased to see me, but I often wonder if she’s just
pleased to see the man who can use a tin opener.’

‘You didn’t
mention you had a cat,’ I said.

‘It’s in my
profile,’ said Riss.

‘Oh yes.’ I’d
forgotten. It had been so long since I’d read his profile on the
dating website, that some of the details had drifted from my brain.
His emails had been much more personal and, in them, we’d talked
more about our favourite movies and music.

‘So, how come
you chose my profile over all the other men out there?’ said
Riss.

‘Well, it’s
funny,’ I said. ‘I didn’t really choose you, I sort of happened
upon you by accident.’ As I told him about that day I found his
picture on my computer, I looked at Chester sitting like King of
the Sofa between us, and I started to wonder…

*

A couple of
weeks later, I woke in my bed on Sunday morning to find Chester
asleep on the pillow next to me. He knew he wasn’t allowed in the
bedroom, let alone on the bed, but since Riss had been coming
round, that rule had kind of been got forgotten. The other pillow
on my bed was propped up against the headboard and Riss was leaning
against it, his naked chest with its mix of grey and dark hairs,
looking amazingly sexy. He was perusing his phone with a
disgruntled expression.

‘What’s the
matter, darling?’ I said, surprising myself with the use of the
word ‘darling’.

‘Looks like I
might have to go to Germany for more than a few days,’ said
Riss.

‘Oh.’ There was
something going on with the German parent company where he worked.
Something, apparently, that needed more than a conference call.

‘Might be as
long as a month,’ he said.

‘A month!’ That
woke me up properly and I propped myself on an elbow so I could
look Riss in the eye. It startled Chester, who let out a drowsy
meow and shifted his position on the pillow.

‘Misha just
sent me a text.’

‘Why’s your
boss texting you on a Sunday morning?’

‘He worries,’
said Riss. ‘It’s better than calling me.’

‘I
suppose.’

‘What am I
going to do about my flat?’

‘I’m sure it
can survive without you for a month. Better than I can.’ I reached
over my cat - feeling his soft warm fur on my naked breast - to
kiss Riss on the cheek.

‘The tenancy
agreement says I’m not allowed any pets,’ he said.

‘But you have a
cat.’

‘Yes. When
there’s an inspection, I clear away all her cat things and get a
friend to look after Lindy for a few hours. My landlord doesn’t
know.’

I gave him a
disapproving stare. ‘Isn’t that a bit dishonest?’

‘Have you ever
tried renting a flat? Nowhere lets you have pets.’

I looked at his
little worried face, his chin dark with the stain of morning
stubble, and my disapproval melted. ‘I’ll look after Lindy for you,
if you have to go to Germany,’ I said.

‘Really?’

‘Of
course.’

‘She’ll need
feeding every day and, if the landlord wants to come over, all the
cat stuff will have to be hidden.’

‘Perhaps she
can stay here,’ I said.

‘Here?’

‘Of course,
here. Then she’ll have company and I won’t have to go dashing
across town every day.’

‘Thank you.’ He
smiled and his whole face became sunshine, like the picture of him
that attracted me in the first place. He put his arm around me and
drew me close for a kiss.

‘
Meow!’
squealed Chester under Riss’s weight.

Riss’s mouth
muffled my laughter as he prolonged the kiss. I pushed him away for
a second and shooed Chester off the bed. The cat leapt onto the
carpet with as much dignity as he could manage and walked off,
displaying the air of a creature who hadn’t wanted to stay on my
pillow in the first place.

‘Now,’ I said,
‘where were we?’ I returned Riss’s kiss, exploring the warmth of
his mouth. Then I shuffled closer to explore the warmth of his
body.

*

Exactly a week
later, I opened my front door to see Riss standing on my doorstep,
laden with umpteen bags and a cardboard box.

‘Good heavens!’
I said. ‘It
is
just the one cat who’s staying isn’t it?’

‘What?’ he
said, breathless.

‘You’ve got
enough luggage for the whole family Von Trapp.’

‘I’ve got
Lindy’s basket and her favourite bowl, and I couldn’t ask you to
buy extra cat litter.’

I saw, then,
his arms starting to give way under all the stuff he was carrying.
‘You better come in before you drop it all.’ I stepped out of his
way and he turned sideways to enable both himself and his stuff to
get through the door. I put my hands on the cardboard box. ‘Let me
take that.’

‘Thank
you.’

He let go
gratefully and the whole weight was suddenly in my arms. It took
the wind out of me and I had to lean back against the wall to get
my balance. ‘What have you got in here?’

‘Cat food.’

‘Your cat’s
staying here for a month, we’re not digging in ’till doomsday.’

I staggered off
towards the kitchen while, behind me, Riss squeezed in between the
wall and my bicycle.

‘Do you ever
actually go out cycling?’ he called from behind.

‘No, it’s there
for decoration.’

‘Maybe you
should think about hanging a picture instead?’

I dropped the
box on a worktop just inside the kitchen door and caught my breath.
Riss staggered in moments later and dumped the bags.

‘Now,’ he said,
panting like an unfit man after a marathon. ‘I think you’ve got
everything. There should be plenty of dry food as well as tinned,
Lindy’s bedding, her toys, bowls and her litter tray…’

‘Isn’t there
something you’ve forgotten?’ I said.

‘Hmm?’ he
seemed puzzled, like nothing could have possibly got past his
meticulous planning.

‘The cat?’ I
suggested.

‘Lindy!’ said
Riss. ‘She’s still in the taxi.’

I couldn’t move
for laughing, as Riss jumped over all his bags, dashed back down
the hall and out of the front door. After a moment, still giggling
to myself, I followed and stood at the doorstep while I watched him
pay the cabbie and retrieve the cat box from the back seat.

Lindy was
wailing like she was the victim of despicable animal cruelty. A
screaming
meow-meow-meow
, with hardly a breath between
cries, loud enough to be heard at the other end of the street.

He brought her
inside and the sound of Lindy’s wails echoed down the hall. I
couldn’t blame her, I suppose, it was a very small prison to be
locked up in. The carrier was plastic and not much longer or wider
than a standard cat, with a grill at the front through which the
prisoner could see outside. I had a similar one for taking Chester
to the vet; he hated it as well.

‘Let’s release
her in the kitchen,’ I said.

‘Good idea,’
said Riss, over the continued wailing.

We walked down
the hall and Riss placed the plastic prison down just inside the
kitchen door. He opened Lindy’s cage. The noise immediately
stopped. I expected Lindy to leap out to freedom, but nothing
happened.

Strange for an
animal that had seemed so desperate to escape.

I exchanged
looks with Riss. We waited.

Then Lindy - a
smallish silver tabby - sauntered out of the box like the Queen
descending from her carriage. It was as if her desperate cries for
freedom had never existed.

She took the
unfamiliar surroundings of the kitchen in her stride. She explored
the narrow tiled floor and soon found Chester’s food corner. She
sniffed into his bowl and, within seconds, was chomping on a piece
of meat left over from his last meal.

I turned to
Riss. He looked relieved. Hot, still out of puff and a bit red in
the face, but definitely relieved. ‘I think she’s going to settle
in fine,’ I said.

‘Yes,’ he
said.

*

We retired to
the sofa with a coffee.

‘You know what
we should get you?’ he said after taking his first mouthful.

‘No. What?’

‘A decent
coffee maker.’

I nudged him in
the ribs. ‘Are you saying you don’t like my coffee?’

‘I’m just
saying instant granules are a bit last century.’

‘Well, I’m sure
they do ‘proper’ coffee in Germany.’

‘Yeah,’ he
said; despondent.

‘Don’t be like
that,’ I said. ‘It’s only for a month.’

‘It’s just…
I’ve got used to coming round here.’

His words
warmed my insides and I felt myself wilt under his spell. I put my
mug down on the floor where I hoped I wouldn’t kick it over and
shuffled up the sofa towards him. I put my arms around his body and
nuzzled my face into his soft, slightly flabby belly. It was the
most gorgeous pillow and had the added advantage of being full of
his subtle, but inviting smell. ‘I’m going to miss you too,’ I
said.

He stroked my
hair with delicate fingers, like he was stroking a cat. It was
blissful; I wanted to purr. Instead, I let out a contented
‘mmmmm’.

‘I wish I
didn’t have to go,’ he said.

‘Me too.’ I
gave his belly a squeeze. He stroked my hair some more.

‘Roll on next
month.’

‘I was
thinking,’ I said, ‘maybe when you come back, if Lindy seems happy
here, perhaps you could stay more often.’

‘Is that offer
dependent on what my cat thinks?’ said Riss, with a hint of
sarcasm.

‘Well, it’s
because of a cat that the two of us got together.’

He laughed. The
sound - echoing in his stomach - was loud in my ear. ‘You don’t
really believe that.’

‘Chester has to
have been the one who picked you out from the internet - otherwise
I’d have to admit using a dating website.’

‘Crazy girl,’
he said.

I liked being
called a girl by him. It made me feel young and excited with the
teenage thrill of a new love inside of me. I pulled myself up and
rested my head on his shoulder. ‘There’s no rush,’ I said. ‘But
after you come back, you could try staying over here a few nights
of the week and see how it goes.’