May the Best Man Win (7 page)

 

 

It took me about a month to mourn the death of my love life. If that is what you want to call it, because there truly was no love involved. During this period of mourning I had moped around work and at home. I was like a dog with a limp and a slight whimper, totally helpless. I tried my best to focus on work and hope that the pain that I was feeling would subside. I also tried to numb it with eating out and intense shopping sprees. Just to return home alone. Well not completely alone; during my bereavement I would take walks during my lunch break. And while on one of my walks I passed a pet shop. Desperate for some kind of companionship I hesitantly went in to only “look” at a prospective furry roommate. After about an hour I was walking out of the establishment with an orange-colored kitten. He was adorable and we took to each other like magnets.

But he too was a temporary fix. I loved him (Grey), but I still longed for someone who would share my life. He had to cherish me and himself. He had to have self-respect and respect for others. A good job and be a family man. Was I asking for too much? For him to smother me with love and affection? Surprise getaways and gifts? Spontaneous lovemaking? Was that too much to ask? I didn't think so. There had to be someone out there who could fill these qualifications. Where was he? I was bendable with some of these requirements, but I was tired of settling for less. I was not perfect, but I came from good stock. It was the American dream to have a prosperous career, own property, and having a decent, loving family. I had the career and I owned my home, but where in the hell in the world was my man at? Was he lost in traffic or on the other side of the country wondering where in hell I was? They say there is someone for everyone. I was beginning to believe that only people in relationships believed that shit. Because I had gone through at least a dozen and a half of no-good losers. And none of them came even close to being my “someone”; they were only “something” for the moment.

I thought on these things as I sat at a table eating alone at a Mexican/Latino restaurant, Pollo Lantern, in Fells Point, that I had been hearing about a lot lately. I was nursing my plate of Peruvian spiced chicken, which was a new yet exciting taste for me. I probably would be enjoying this meal even more if I had someone to share it with. I looked around at all the couples eating—male/male, female/female, and male/female—and immediately felt out of place. I was the only one there alone. It was as if everybody was staring at me so I hung my head in shame. I almost cried in my plate as I contemplated my loneliness and why I just couldn't get a man and keep him.

“Is everything okay?” I heard a voice as I stirred my now-cold food. I slowly looked up, annoyed, and saw the most beautiful eyes staring back at me. Blue as the ocean on a Hawaiian coast. “Are you enjoying your meal?”

“Um . . . Ah . . . Yeah . . . It's okay,” I stumbled and mumbled in an entranced gaze.

“Just okay?” he quizzed me with a hopeful look. “It's our signature dish and it is just okay!” He looked offended. I looked at him like he had lost his mind. I was about to lose mine as well.

“Excuse me?” I said looking him up and down in what looked like a waiter's uniform. “I think you need to move it to your next table before I make you eat your “signature dish.” I was not mad at him or offended, just not in the mood for anybody's arrogance today.

A wide smile came across his face. He had the most beautiful smile a man could have. What was he smiling about? I was damn near breathing fire and his ass was standing here smiling like I said something funny. He pulled out a chair and sat down.
Okay, I see what I am dealing with. It's about that time. Time for my idiot of the month to show up and he's about right on time.

“I am sorry if I offended you,” he said, still smiling. “I noticed you sitting out here all alone just playing in your food and I couldn't take it any longer. I had to come over and see if I could get some kind of emotion out of you. Anger wasn't the one I was going for, but it will do for now.”

“Ummm . . . humph,” I mumbled under my breath. He must have thought I was going to fall for his line. “My emotions and I are just fine and if you don't mind we would like to be left alone.”

He chuckled as he got up and pushed the chair back under the table.

“You are so handsome and it is a shame to have to leave you here all alone.”

“Oh really, let's see how it goes as you take a walk to your next table. I am sure I'll be just fine. Good day,” I said, sending him on his way. He just shook his head and walked away.
Good riddance. Another jackass bites the dust.
I was getting a knack for reflecting off the losers.

I stayed around for another fifteen minutes or so and watched the waiter and the way he worked his tables. He was very attentive toward his customers. Refilling cups, bringing fresh rolls, and other various tasks. He now had me feeling like I was the jackass. Maybe I should have been a little easier on him. Just taking a look back on the past month I was taking my anger out on any stranger and it was not called for at all. I snapped at the coffee house guy about two weeks ago for not putting cinnamon in my cappuccino. And a couple of days before that, I was getting ice cream at Baskin-Robbins and told the cashier off because she was moving too slowly. She broke down in tears right then and there. I was out of control and I needed to get a grip.

As I got up and left I saw the waiter coming my way. I waved him over. He still had the smile on his face. He couldn't be this happy all the time.

“Was everything okay here at Pollo Lantern and will you be joining us again?”

“Why yes, I will . . . And . . . ahhh . . . I just wanted to apologize for being short with you earlier.” I had a regretful look on my face. “It was so unnecessary for me to treat you that way when you were only doing your job.”

“Ahh, no problem,” he said, waving his hand. “We all have our bad days.”

“Also,” I continued, “I run an advertising company and if your boss needs any marketing done I would love to help him out, at a discounted rate of course.” I said, pulling out one of my cards and handing it to him, “Your service skills were phenomenal and I will be sure to tell my friends.”

I shook his hand and as he shook mine he started to rub his thumb across the top of my hands. It had been a minute, but I knew he was flirting. I pulled away quickly, knowing I was off of men for a while and any longer I would have making out with him in the bathroom or something.

“I'll see you later,” I said, letting out a slight smile. “And don't forget to give your boss my card.”

“He'll get it. I'll make sure of it,” he said, smiling again, showing that spectacular smile.

 

 

It was the weekend and I was in Philadelphia today visiting my family. It wasn't a holiday, but once in a while my parents would call us all to come home and have a family evening getting caught up on each other's lives. Basically, they wanted to be nosey and they wanted us to spill the drama that was going on in our lives. We all knew what the deal was when we got there so we each played our parts and gave our parents a nice good scare. It was all in fun and we usually told the truth at the end if we could hold in the laughter from the looks on their faces as we supposedly spilled our guts. They fell for this every time we did this. You would think they would have caught on by now. My parents were so plain and boring that it made no sense.

This evening my brother and sister went first and second, and now it was my turn, and I was ready to go all out and give my charade the best that I had.

“So, Lewis, honey, what's been going on in your life? Your father and I worry about you the most. You don't call us like you used to do when you first moved away.” My mother was a beautiful lady. She was plump around the middle and her height was about the same as mine. She was soft-spoken most of the time but when she gave a directive you had better follow it to the T. My parents weren't physical discipliners. They both were very vocal in their approach to how we as children, their children, needed to act and be in private and public settings.

But, like most children, we had all tried our hand and were dealt with swiftly.

“Well, Ma . . . Dad . . .” I paused for dramatic effect. “I don't know how to say this. I just don't know . . . how. I mean I still can't believe it today. I am just at a loss for words,” I stammered effortlessly.

“Find the words and spill it out, son.” My father spoke sternly.

“Well . . .” I put my head down for dramatic effect. I heaved a little and let my shoulders slouch. I was giving it my all. “You're going to be grandparents . . . twice.”

“What? . . . But I thought you were . . .” My mother's voice trailed off as she turned and looked at my father in bewilderment. I could almost see a smile creeping up at the corners of his mouth.

Then it came, the sounds of thunderous laughter from my brother and sister. My parents looked on in confusion.

“What's so funny?” my father asked in total seriousness. I almost regretted going through with it. When I discussed this with brother and sister on the way up they both agreed that I would be pushing it with this prank but that they would go along with it while I performed the joke as long as I went along with theirs. My brother told them that he was dating my mother's oldest and dearest friend and she might be pregnant. My mother's friend was over fifty and recently divorced. The look on my mother's face was priceless. And my sister told my father that she had slept with a few of her college professors to get the A's that she had gotten. My father was so pissed that he got up from the table and walked out of the dining room. He was gone for at least ten minutes before he came back in and she told him it was all a joke and that she only did one professor and that it was a female. She eventually told him it was all a lie and my brother and I laughed it off, but we knew that my father was going to investigate if he could.

“Dad, I was joking.” I looked at him and then my mother.

“So this is what you all call a good time? A good laugh? Well it just isn't funny. Very callous it is. Yes, that's what it is. We have taught you three better than to joke in that manner. Where is the respect in those situations? They are not funny. Not at all.” There was a silence in the room as of now.

“I'm sorry,” I apologized. “It won't happen again. But I will ask that you two let us live our lives and come to you in our time and when we feel it is urgent enough to come. We know you love us but we have to make mistakes and learn from them.” Both my brother and sister nodded their heads in approval of what I just spoke.

“You all can kick rocks if you think we are going to stop being interested in your lives or even asking questions. It is just not going to happen. We are the parents and you all are the children. And as all of you young'uns say, ‘Play your part and we will definitely play ours.' Understand?”

A few hours went by and me and my sister had us some alone time. We were the closest of my parents' children and we talked when we weren't busy with our own lives, which wasn't often. We were sitting outside in a gazebo that my parents had built in the huge backyard they owned.

“So what's really been going on with you, Lewis, since you moved to Maryland? You find that man of your dreams you're always looking for?” she asked as she sat Indian-style in one of my parents' wicker chairs.

“So you are a ventriloquist for our mother I see, with all of these questions you are asking.” I laughed lightly and smiled hard. Even though there was an age gap between us we still got along as if we were only a year or two apart. “Wellllll, I'm not looking for anything at the moment, I'm really just going to keep it chill for now. See what comes my way without pursuing them.”

“So you saying you're not going to give up the bootie until someone put a ring on it?” She laughed.

“Yes. I am going to try a whole new approach for this finding-a-mate thing. It's too much. It consumes me more than my full-time job and that's a no-no.” I looked at her intently.

“Please don't tell me you have given into the hype and read Steve Harvey's
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man
book? You didn't sell out to that ninety-day rule thing did you because I don't think you can go that long without . . . well, you know?” She laughed again. “Plus, you had that ‘act like a lady, think like a man' down long before Steve did. I believe that was your mantra during your high school years,” she added and then she burst into a fit of laughter again. I just sat there and watched her get her giggles in on me. When it was my turn she was going to regret it.

“You finished?” I looked at her.

“Actually, I am now. Go ahead and explain yourself.”

“Well, since you being nosy and all. I had a brief conversation with a therapist the other day and it was suggested that I try something different. Like being friends first and then taking it one step at a time with the next person I met.”

“Oh, really.” Her eyebrows rose in curiosity.

“Yes, and I decided why not give it a try, you know, see if it works. It couldn't hurt me to try somebody else's way.”

“That is true.” She nodded her head in agreement.

“It's like, what do I have to lose to try something different?” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Let me ask you this though, why are seeing a therapist?”

“I didn't say I was seeing one, even though as fine as he was I would have played depressed just so I could be in a room with him, because he was fine. But alas, he was engaged to be married. Anyway, we had a conversation while he was in Starbucks waiting on this fiancée.”

“Oh, okay. I was about to say. I know you not in Baltimore letting those boys get the best of you and having you going to see a therapist and all of that.” She looked a bit concerned and then relieved.

“No, ma'am. I was just in deep, thinking about the state of my life and what I needed to do to fix it and he just happened to be in the right place at the right time. That's all.”

“Good. So everything else is good in your life? You healthy?”

“Yep, I am very healthy. Thanks for asking.”

We continued to talk a little more before we went into the house and began to watch a few movies together until we drifted off to sleep.

The whole weekend went pretty smoothly, as it usually does. My mother cooked the most delicious meals and we all enjoyed each other's company until it was time to go back our separate ways.