Maze (The Ballerina Series #2) (6 page)

Chapter Six

Maze

God
I loved her. I raised my hands and placed them over hers. Twining our fingers
together, I placed our joined hands in her lap. How did I answer her so she
didn’t run away from me? I couldn’t lose her. Without her beside me, I would
only be taking up space. She gave my life meaning. But at the same time I still
had to protect her. Even if it was from myself.

I
took a deep breath. “I’m not sure. And that’s the truth. It’s also true that
Uncle Tsang is trying to handle this in a way that I’ll be left alone. I don’t
know the details nor do I want to know. Nor do you.”

She
leaned forward and kissed me then pulled back. “Thank you. And no more running
away and trying to shelter me. Whatever is going on just let me know. We are in
this together, okay? That’s what loving someone is about. Going through the
good and the bad. When…when Shelly died you tried to be there for me and I
withdrew. Closed in on myself.”

I
froze. The fact she brought up Shel after all these years like this was huge
for us. I always felt one reason she pulled away from me was because she blamed
me somewhat for what happened. And I stayed away from her because I knew the
harshness of the life I was getting involved in. I didn’t try hard enough to
reach across the miles separating us and hold us together.

“I
should have done more to draw you out,” I offered.

She
smiled sadly. “Maybe. But even if you did I’m not sure you’d have been able to
do it from Japan. We both needed to go our own way back then. It was the right
thing to do. We had to grow separately I think to fully understand what it
means to be together. I…I never let you know how much your text on the day…Shel
died meant to me. No one, not even my folks or hers, ever thought to check up
on me on that date. You were the only one who seemed to understand. It held me
together. For a long time I blamed myself, you. If I hadn’t been with you I would
have been, should have been with her.”

Her
eyes filled with tears and I wiped them away with my thumb. “Shhh, it was not
your fault. My God, you could have been in the golf cart that night with her
and she would probably still have been driving.”

“That’s
all true. I hated driving and Shel loved the carts. We’d taken that same
dangerous path many nights during the summer at the beach. And I know she would
have been drunk. I had been drinking that night, too. I no longer blame myself,
or you. I haven’t for a long time now, but your texts meant a lot to me. It
kept me close to Shel on a day when I needed someone to acknowledge she once
lived. What she meant to me. You did. So thank you for that.”

I
wrapped my arms around her and drew her to me, but before I could do anything
else the car pulled up in front of her condo.

“We’re
here,” Terry said needlessly through the speaker.

I
glanced up. Yep, we were. I untangled us and by the time I reached for the door
handle it was already being opened for me.

We
went up to her place and after Ivy opened the door we found the condo dark. I
remembered she’d left a lamp on near the windows when we’d left earlier. But
Dante could have turned them off. No sooner did I think that when I realized
there was someone on the couch. In fact, two someones. One on top of the other
and they were as still as stone. From the whiff of sex in the air I knew what
they were doing.

I
put my arm around Ivy and guided her to her room without looking in the
direction of the couch or who was on it. It wasn’t until we got to her room and
closed the door that she sat on her bed and giggled.

“Oh,
God. I’m glad it was dark in there.” She laughed. “I wonder who Dante’s hooking
up with now?”

“Don’t
know and don’t care.” And I didn’t as long as it wasn’t Ivy. He and I had made
peace but I wasn’t stupid. I knew if I blew it he’d be right there to console
her. Fucker. And that is exactly what he’d been doing.

“I
wonder if it’s a guy? Oh my God, I so do not need to see that, or him with
Christy either.” She began to laugh again and put her hand over her mouth to
stifle her mirth.

I
smiled, she’s so naïve. Then I frowned. Maybe it was getting too crowded with
us all here. We’d been spending most of the time at Ivy’s only going back to my
place in Brooklyn a couple of times over the last few days. Mostly because the
condo was near the hospital. But Joe hopefully would be out in another day or
so, and I needed to turn my attention to the gym. There was a nice two-bedroom
apartment on the second floor of the building. I knew I owned the building, but
if the apartment was rented out I didn’t know if I’d be able to break someone’s
lease. I remembered Uncle Tsang told Joe how he’d had it renovated a year ago
and rented it out. It was why, when we’d made plans to return to the U.S., we
didn’t stay there. I wondered if may be it was now available? I’d check first
thing in the morning. Once Ivy’s cast came off it would be easy for me to help
her exercise every day so she could dance again. If the apartment was available
it might be a good place for us, Ivy and me. That is, if she even wanted to be
with me 24/7.

I
watched her beautiful smile, she was probably still thinking about walking in
on Dante and his friend. But my thoughts held my attention. I couldn’t believe
I actually stood there, leaning against the door, contemplating setting up
house with someone. Living with someone. In truth, the idea of getting that
close to anyone, willingly making such a commitment, had never entered my
consciousness. Anyone that was, except for Ivy. Yes. I want to be with this
girl 24/7. The idea should have freaked me out. Instead, my heart filled with
joy at the thought of sleeping and waking with her in my arms. Every fucking
night. Damn, my dick twitched.

The
way she made me feel so good, went beyond the rocket to mars sex we shared. I
wanted us to build a life and grow together. Hell, someday maybe even have kids
together. Shit. Where did that come from? But I knew in my gut. I loved her.
That’s all there was to it.

“Why
are you standing way over there?” she asked once she stopped giggling.

“I’ve
just been thinking about something.”

She
sat up as if she sensed my seriousness.

“How
would you feel about the two of us getting a place together?”

She
stared right back at me her eyes wide. I could tell I surprised her with my
question. “I don’t know. I guess I never really thought about it. What about
Dante?”

I
shook my head. “He’s already got this condo, and you told me he could afford
this place on his own. I’m thinking maybe he needs his own space, as do you and
I. I love you, Ivy. I want to be with you all the time.” I pushed myself away
from the door and walked over to the bed and then sat beside her. Taking one of
her hands in mine I raised it to my lips and brushed a kiss over her knuckles.

“I
like falling asleep with me curled around you and waking up with you curled
around me. I like us planning out our days the night before or that morning. I
like that you know where I am and that I’m coming home to you. I like it all
and I want it all with you.”

Damn,
I was no poet, but I needed her to know how I felt. I wanted all of those
things but I also wanted to protect her. Just in case. I could do it in the
part of Chinatown Tsang controlled, and better at the gym. It was neutral
ground, but also the Tong owned most of the businesses on that street. I knew
who the ruling Triad members were in the area, but I figure I needed to get to
know the legit business owners that made up the Tong now, too. By taking over
the gym and retiring from fighting, I’d become one of them. I was probably
their youngest member. Chinatown wasn’t as large an area as it used to be and
it was mostly evenly matched up now between Triad and Tong, as to who owned
what.

I
looked into the eyes of the woman I loved for such a very long time and waited
for her to tell me we’d build a life together. Yeah, I wanted us to live
together, but I wanted more for us, too. First, I needed to show her I’d be
able to take care of her in all ways.

She clutched my
hand. “Are you sure, Maze? That’s a big step.”

“I’m
ready. And someday I will offer you even more.”

Her
eyes went even wider at my words. The brown in her pupils seemed to glow before
her next words put a punch in my gut. “I love you so much. Don’t let me down.”

“I
promise I won’t.”

“All
right.”

I
leaned into her and captured her mouth again. When I could bring myself to
separate I told her, “Tomorrow morning I’m already scheduled to meet with Uncle
Tsang and a contractor but I’m going to call him first and I want you to come
with me. There’s an apartment over the gym. I’m not sure if it’s available but
if it is we can take a look at it. See if you like it and if you want anything
changed. If it’s not or you don’t like it then we can look for something else
nearby.”

“Sounds
like a plan.”

I
folded her in my arms and together we lay back on the bed and just held on to
each other, content to merely be, for now.

****

The
next morning, Terry dropped us off at the gym. I pushed against the entrance
door and it opened. The gym was closed but we were expected. As soon as we
walked into the place we found Uncle Tsang near the main training ring waiting
for us. He wasn’t alone. There were two other men with him. The tall portly guy
with a tool belt strapped around his girth I figured for the contractor, and
the tall thin one with the briefcase, the equipment rep. I’d spoken to Tsang
earlier this morning and he said the apartment was vacant. The tenant had
cleared out last week. So the apartment was mine to do what I wanted.

First,
we went through the main floor that made up the gym. There were two locker
rooms. Men and women. A massage room, two offices, and two private training
rooms. These were on the perimeter of the main training area, which held
exercise equipment, and, of course, the fighting ring sat dead center of it
all. Not a whole lot needed to be done to the place. We’d just have to bring in
some new equipment and replace a few things. Ivy suggested redoing the shower
areas. They were pretty beat up, and she had some great ideas.

We
took the private elevator near the office in the gym to look at the apartment.
Which could also be accessed directly from the street entrance by a set of
stairs. The layout was pretty sweet. To my surprise I found three bedrooms and
not the two I originally thought. One was considerably smaller and could be
used as an office. The walls were all brick. The floor looked like some sort of
stained burnt bronze cement. Two of the bedrooms had smoky sliding glass doors
and the third a traditional door. The place held lots of windows and open
space. But all that mattered was Ivy loved it. Only one problem—no
furniture. So an hour after leaving the gym, that’s what we were doing. Who
would have thought me, Mr. Tough Guy, would be fucking furniture shopping? I
didn’t care how I looked. I would have dragged a fucking couch through
Chinatown if that’s what my Ivy wanted.

“So
when are you going to tell Dante?” I asked, as I held the door open for Ivy at
the ABC Carpet & Home store. We’d just spent the last three hours there.
Next time someone says the words shopping and furniture together I might have
to drop ‘em. This shit was exhausting. We explored eight floors of any and
everything you might need, or not, for your home.

“When
we get back to the condo.” She shrugged.

I
was glad she didn’t appear to have a problem breaking it to Dante that he was
losing his roomy. “Good, cause the mattress will be delivered tomorrow and I
want us in our own apartment by tomorrow night.” It was true. I’d arranged to
have the furniture delivered within the next week. The bed frame wouldn’t get
there until after the mattress. A few things would take longer. But for the
first time in my life I was creating a home, for Ivy. I should be scared as
shit because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. But damned if I wasn’t
excited to keep house with her.

“When
are you going to tell Joe?” she countered.

“He
already knows. Tsang told him when I asked him about the apartment this
morning. They were going to offer it to me. Joe will stay with Tsang for a few
days after he gets out of the hospital. So I’d like to stop by my place first
and pack up some stuff and then we can go to the condo and get some of yours.”