McKenzie (17 page)

“Does the Bible speak of loneliness?” McKenzie asked. She didn’t want to bare too much of her soul to Zach, yet the words tumbled out before she could stop them. She had felt so lonely in Pine Haven without her family and close friends.

“It does, McKenzie. In Hebrews, it says, ‘For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.’ I know that it’s been difficult for you to move here and adjust to a new lifestyle, but God promises us that, no matter where we go, He will always be with us.”

“I never realized all of this, Zach. I guess I should spend every evening on the porch with you.”

“I’d like that. I also hope that, someday, you’ll feel completely comfortable here, and that we can have a marriage that is truly founded on God’s principles. I’d like nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, McKenzie.”

“Oh, you don’t mean that, Zach,” McKenzie said, hoping she was right.

“I do mean it. I made a vow before God, and I intend to keep it.”

An awkward silence followed, and McKenzie was grateful when Zach spoke again, changing the subject. “Why don’t we begin our Bible reading?”

McKenzie nodded and listened while Zach read aloud and then prayed. Maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to endure Pine Haven a little more easily.

Hello, Mr. Victor. Any mail?” Zach asked as he entered the post office the following day during an afternoon of errands.

“Let’s see, Zach. No mail for you, but I do have a piece of mail here for Rosemary.” Mr. Victor handed Zach an envelope.

“Thanks, Mr. Victor. Have a good day, now.” Zach turned and was about to walk out of the post office when a large piece of paper hanging on the wall caught his attention. The scribbled words seemed to leap off the page at him.

Looking for one beloved Kayde Kraemer, last seen in western Montana Territory.
If seen, please contact McKenzie Sawyer at once. Your assistance is appreciated.

“Oh, yes, please tell McKenzie I haven’t heard anything regarding her inquiry,” Mr. Victor said.

“Uh, all right. Thanks, Mr. Victor.” Zach opened the door and walked out into the street. Questions filled his mind—questions that troubled him. Who was Kayde Kraemer? The possibility that the person McKenzie was seeking was a man with whom she’d been romantically involved bothered him, but he quickly dismissed the thought and entertained other questions. Why hadn’t McKenzie mentioned Kayde to him? And when had McKenzie hung the notice in the post office? Had it been recently? Zach fought the temptation to conjure up negative conclusions based only on the limited information he had.

When Zach arrived back at the ranch, Rosemary was in the kitchen, trying to teach McKenzie how to cook. Zach watched from afar as Rosemary talked about measurements, ingredient combinations, and cooking times. McKenzie seemed eager to learn, and she appeared to be listening intently. Thank You, Lord, that McKenzie is a willing student. I know things are so different for her here. Please let her learn with ease, Zach prayed silently. Not wanting to interrupt the lesson, he decided to wait until their Bible time that evening on the porch to approach the subject of Kayde Kraemer, provided he could wait that long. Questions continued to swarm in his mind, and he knew that the only way he could temporarily dismiss the disturbing thoughts would be to busy himself with chores.

***

As McKenzie tucked Davey in bed that night, she kissed him tenderly on the forehead. She delighted in the task of securing him in his bed for the night. “Good night, Davey,” she said.

“G’night, Ma,” he echoed.

McKenzie turned to leave the room and join Zach on the porch when Davey said, “Ma?”

“Yes, Davey?” She turned around.

“I love you,” he said.

McKenzie stood in silence, her feet fixed in one spot. How could Davey love her after knowing her for so short a time? Further, how was she to respond to him?

“Ma? I love you,” Davey repeated.

McKenzie’s breath caught in her throat, and she found it difficult to breathe. She’d never said those words to anyone, nor had they really been spoken to her. With the exception of Kaydie, she’d never truly loved anyone—even Louis, she admitted to herself again.

She knew Davey was waiting for her to say something. Should she tell him she loved him, too, even though she didn’t know if it was true? Or should she tell him good night again and go on her way? The decision was a weighty one, and she tried to reason out a course of action as quickly as possible. Finally, before Davey could repeat himself yet again, she answered him, “I love you, too, Davey.”

Before he could say more, she left the room and fled down the stairs, her emotions a jumble.

Downstairs, McKenzie slowly regained her composure, preparing to meet with Zach. She picked up her Bible from the table, opened the door, and walked out onto the porch.

***

“Good evening, McKenzie,” Zach said, patting the chair next to him. He always looked forward to the evening, when he could spend time getting to know the woman he’d married. He hoped their times together meant as much to McKenzie as they did to him.

“Hello, Zach,” McKenzie replied, sitting down beside him. When she looked up at the sky, she gasped. “That is the most amazing sunset I’ve seen yet!” she exclaimed.

“I agree,” Zach said, still looking at McKenzie. “The Lord’s artistry never ceases to amaze me.”

McKenzie nodded. “I thought you’d be happy to know that I learned how to make biscuits today. Rosemary has been teaching me all of her kitchen tricks.”

“I thought I saw you taking lessons today,” Zach said.

“I never much cared for cooking. I never had to do it in Boston. Cook always prepared the most scrumptious meals, and I never gave much thought to where the food came from or how it was made. When I was a little girl, I would sit on a stool in the kitchen and watch Cook as she prepared meal after meal. She’d never let me help her, though, because she said I was too young. Once, when I was about Davey’s age, I remember begging her for a scoop of cookie dough. She finally acquiesced, and I recall thinking that nothing tasted finer than that unbaked ball of dough.”

Zach listened as McKenzie took them both back in time to a life that was so different from the one she was living now. He hoped she never stopped sharing her memories with him. He reveled in those glimpses of her past. “My ma loved to bake, and she made a lot of cookies—we almost always had a batch on hand. After supper, Pa, Ma, and I would sit around the table and dunk cookies in milk. It was one of my fondest memories.”

“I wish my mother had baked us cookies. I doubt she ever baked anything, much less a dessert.”

They sat in silence for a while, and Zach considered asking her the question that had plagued his mind, not to mention his heart, throughout the entire day. Finally, he couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. “McKenzie?”

“Yes?”

“Who is Kayde Kraemer? Is he a relative?” Zach prayed that Kayde was merely a cousin. He wanted McKenzie to refute the worst of his fears—that Kayde Kraemer was someone with whom she was in love.

McKenzie stared at him. She actually looked frightened. But then, after a moment, she relaxed and actually laughed. Finally, she said, “Kaydie is not a he but a she.”

Zach could do nothing to stop the sigh of relief that escaped his lungs. “Kayde is really Kaydie, and he’s not a man?” he asked, just to be sure he’d heard her correctly.

“No. Kaydie is my sister.”

“Your sister?” Zach hadn’t thought to ask many questions about McKenzie’s sisters. He knew from her letters during their courtship that she had two sisters, and that one of them was named Peyton. That was all he’d known, and he hadn’t thought to ask more.

“I know it seems odd. You see, all the girls in my family are named after important male relatives. I’m named after my maternal grandfather, McKenzie Dudley. My older sister, Peyton, is named after our paternal grandfather, Peyton Worthington. And Kaydie is named after my mother’s favorite brother, Kayde Dudley. Kaydie’s real name is Kaydence, but I’ve always called her Kaydie.”

“I see,” said Zach. His heart felt lighter, and he praised God that his suspicion was not founded on fact. “Why didn’t you tell me you were looking for Kaydie?” he asked, trying not to sound accusatory. Although this matter had concerned him, he reminded himself that it was a small thing, and he wasn’t going to make a big deal of it.

“I put up the ad in the post office about a week ago. I’m sorry I never mentioned it to you.” McKenzie looked pensive. “I must have written it so hastily that I looped the letters together, making the name appear to be Kayde rather than Kaydie. I’ll have to go back and fix that.”

Zach dismissed the hurt he felt at not knowing about something that was apparently important to McKenzie. “Mr. Victor told me to tell you that he hadn’t heard any news. So, you believe your sister’s in these parts?”

“I do. She ran off and married a man by the name of Darius Kraemer, who swindles and robs banks; he’s been on the run from the law for quite a while now. Darius is a wicked man with an even more wicked temper, and he treats my sister abusively. He has refused to let her return to Boston and has stolen all of her inheritance. The last I heard, she was in Canfield Falls—at least, that’s where her last letter had been postmarked.”

“So, you want to help Kaydie escape from Darius?” Zach asked. Why hadn’t McKenzie asked for his help from the start? Had she not trusted he would do everything he could to remove Kaydie from such a desperate situation?

“Yes, I do,” said McKenzie.

“I would be happy to help you, McKenzie, but I wish you had told me sooner.”

***

McKenzie nodded. She didn’t know what to say, but she was relieved Zach was neither mad at nor disappointed with her. For some reason she couldn’t explain, his opinion of her mattered more and more to her with every passing day. With increasing frequency, she felt the same, peculiar feeling that came when she sat with him in the evenings and spent time with the Lord.

It frightened McKenzie to think that she was becoming friends with Zach. And his assistance in finding Kaydie would no doubt bring them closer together—not what she wanted, even if it would improve the odds of finding her sister faster. That meant her return to Boston would be much sooner, and the sooner she and Kaydie could get back home, the better. Still, McKenzie was wary of Zach’s helping her—she was beginning to feel things for him, and it would make leaving him harder to do. Finding Kaydie is your one and only goal, she reminded herself. You would be silly not to welcome Zach’s help.

“That ring belonged to my ma,” Zach said, interrupting McKenzie’s thoughts.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Your wedding ring. I noticed you staring at it. I thought you might want to know it has a history.”

McKenzie hadn’t realized she’d been staring at the gold band and was caught by surprise that he’d noticed. “It was your mother’s?”

“Yes. You should have seen the look on the jeweler’s face in Wilmerville when I asked if he could make it a little smaller.” Zach smiled and shook his head.

“You—you had to have it made smaller?”

“Yes. There was a little more of Ma than there is of you, except for height,” Zach said. “She was barely five feet tall.”

The thought of having a hand-me-down wedding ring both disturbed and intrigued McKenzie. Had she married Louis, her ring would have been brand-new, with at least a two-carat diamond of the highest of quality. It would have been designed by one of Boston’s top jewelers—custom-made just for her—and presented to her in a velvet box.

“It was important to me that the woman I marry have Ma’s ring. She was a precious woman and meant so much to me.” Zach leaned toward McKenzie and brushed a stray hair away from her face. “I would have done everything in my power to buy you one of those fancy rings that you probably saw in the jewelry stores in Boston. But this ring that you are wearing is worth much more. It has value that can’t be measured by money. Your ring tells of a love between my parents that was God-honoring, God-serving, and real. They loved each other more than life itself. Their lives were difficult, and they shared together in many struggles, but they never gave up.”

Zach paused. “They used to pray for me that I would someday find the wife God had planned for me. That woman is you, McKenzie. You’re the one God planned for me to marry. The way it all fell into place could only be the work of His hand. Of all the responses I received, only yours was genuine. God led me to respond to yours alone, and I thank Him for you each day. I hope that this ring will symbolize yet another generation of true love—a love that can survive anything.”

McKenzie felt a stab of guilt for leading Zach to believe that their love was true. Being this close to him—physically and emotionally—scared her. “But, what if—what if ours isn’t true love, like your parents shared?” she stammered, hoping to plant a seed of doubt in Zach’s heart that would help him better bear her departure later. “We are different people, Zach. You can’t base our marriage on your parents’.”

“You’re right, McKenzie. I just want to love you like Christ loves the church. I don’t want to duplicate every area of my parents’ lives. I don’t want to be my parents. I want us to be us. But I want us to have the unconditional love that my parents seemed to share.”

“It sounds like your parents had a perfect marriage,” McKenzie said. She thought of her own parents, who seemed more like friends or business partners than lovers.

“Not even close to being perfect,” Zach said with a laugh. “They had their disagreements, just like any married couple.” He paused. “As close as Asa and Rosemary are, they have their struggles, too.”

“What if our marriage never becomes like your parents’, or like Asa and Rosemary’s?”

Zach stared at McKenzie. He looked alarmed.

“Zach?” McKenzie could see the troubled look in his eyes.

“All we can do, McKenzie, is put our marriage in God’s hands. He knows what has been and what is to come.”

McKenzie thought of what Zach had said about God knowing what was and what is to come. From what she knew of the Lord, He knew of her motive for marrying Zach. He knew why she’d accepted his proposal. And He knew what would happen in the coming months. The thought that the Lord would be disappointed in her for the choices she’d made distressed her. She’d never given much thought to her Creator’s opinion of her in the past. In recent days, although she hadn’t realized the full extent of it, God had begun to tug on her heart.