McKenzie (27 page)

McKenzie flung her arms around the older woman, who returned her embrace. “Now, now,” Rosemary said, patting McKenzie’s head. “Is Zach all right?”

When McKenzie nodded, Rosemary continued, “Is Davey all right?”

“Yes, they’re fine—at least, they aren’t hurt or sick. Oh, Rosemary, I’ve made such a mess of things!”

“Whatever do you mean, McKenzie?”

“With Zach—I—I—”

“Now, slow down. Everything is going to be fine.”

“But it’s not going to be fine. It’ll never be fine again.” McKenzie let out a moan and buried her head in Rosemary’s shoulder.

“Please, try to explain it to me, so I can help you,” Rosemary said as she smoothed McKenzie’s hair with her fingers.

“You won’t be able to help, Rosemary. Nothing will help. You see, I—I sent this letter to my parents in Boston. I wrote it when I first arrived here, right after the wedding. I was so lonely and miserable then. It was the day Zach gave me a foal for my wedding present. I was so frustrated because things were not going the way I wanted them to.”

“Tell me what the letter said,” Rosemary urged her gently.

McKenzie thought about the letter and tried to recall the exact words that had prompted her mother’s trip to Pine Haven—and provoked her fury. “I—I wrote that I was miserable, and that Zach failed to treat me kindly and made me live in a poverty-stricken state.” McKenzie began to sob. “I—I wrote that he made ridiculous demands on me….”

Rosemary drew in her breath but continued to listen quietly.

“You see,” McKenzie continued, “the reason I married Zach was to get help finding my sister, Kaydie. She’s married to this horrid man named Darius, who mistreats her. When my mother read my letter, she must have feared that Zach was like Darius, and she decided to come and get me. She’s here now, and she wants to take me back to Boston tomorrow. Oh, Rosemary!”

“Let me make sure I understand,” Rosemary said calmly. “You married Zach so that you would have somewhere to stay and someone to help you find your sister?”

“Yes. Isn’t that awful? I didn’t see how appalling it was then, but I see it now.” Another sob racked McKenzie’s body. “Anyway, I hated it when I first came here. I didn’t even like you, Rosemary. Remember that first night, when I treated you like a servant? And then I vowed I would never, ever like you.”

“Now, now, McKenzie. I forgave you before you even apologized over what happened at dinner. How were you to know? Besides, I wasn’t too fond of you at first, either.”

McKenzie suddenly sat up in her chair. “I’m so sorry, Rosemary. I’m getting tears all over your dress.”

Rosemary pulled up a corner of her apron and dabbed gently at McKenzie’s tear-streaked cheeks. “It doesn’t matter to me at all that you’re getting tears on my dress. I am here for you, McKenzie. Pour out your heart, if it helps.”

McKenzie didn’t know what to say. Rosemary had every right to hate her after what she had done. Zach was as dear to her and Asa as a son, and the thought of someone knowingly hurting him would undoubtedly hurt them, as well.

McKenzie stared at Rosemary. Her own mother had never comforted her in the way Rosemary vowed to do. When she’d been upset as a child, she’d always run to Nellie, and then to Kaydie, when she’d gotten older. Kaydie hadn’t been around when Louis had broken her heart, and so Nellie had sat patiently and listened to McKenzie as she’d spouted her sadness. Yet, her comfort and care had scarcely been as genuine as Rosemary’s. Nellie had never hugged her or reassured her; she’d merely listened out of duty, since she was paid to do so. “Rosemary, you don’t realize how awful I have been,” McKenzie moaned.

“You deceived and betrayed Zach, and that was wrong of you; he didn’t deserve that. But you’ve changed, McKenzie. You’ve changed since you wrote that letter to your parents. You must make your mother see that.”

“But—but she won’t listen to a word I say. Besides, Zach will never forgive me for what I have done.” McKenzie relived in her mind the terrible moments when she had first introduced Zach to her mother. “Mother wouldn’t even shake Zach’s hand or give Davey a hug when she met them.”

“There, there,” Rosemary said in a soothing voice.

“Zach—he sees marriage as a vow, an unbreakable promise between two people. He sees it as having trust, not deceit,” McKenzie whimpered. She could still see the tears in his eyes—tears she had never seen in a man, let alone a man she loved.

“Zach also knows that issues will arise in a marriage, and that God is faithful to see husbands and wives through those issues.”

“But how could he forgive me for this, Rosemary? It was all a lie—at least, that’s how it started, until I fell in love with him. I’m not sure how I expected my plan to turn out, but it seems as awful as could be! And, since I complained about Zach, my mother thinks he’s a monster, like my sister’s husband, Darius. Yet nothing could be further from the truth!”

“Then, you must make that truth known to her,” said Rosemary.

“But she won’t listen. I kept trying to tell her. Then, I saw the hurt in Zach’s eyes, and I knew things would never be the same. He was crying, Rosemary. I’ve never seen him cry.”

“His heart was broken beyond measure because he loves you, McKenzie. Surely, you can understand his pain.”

“He told me he loved me, implying that the feeling is past,” McKenzie said dejectedly.

“He said that out of hurt,” said Rosemary, grasping McKenzie’s hand. “We all say things we don’t mean when we are hurt. You have to believe that God can heal your marriage, but you have to want Him to do so.”

“I do want that, Rosemary. I never thought I would say this, but I want to be married to Zach. I want to live here in Pine Haven. I know that sounds odd, but it’s true. I would be a fool to leave him.”

“Yes, you would,” Rosemary said. She paused for a moment. “You see, when Zach loves, he loves deeply.”

“I know,” said McKenzie. “And he’s the last person I would ever want to hurt. I have come to love Zach with all my heart, but it took the thought of actually leaving him to make me realize that.”

“Let’s pray that you will have the chance to tell him, and that he believes you,” Rosemary said, then bowed her head and began to pray aloud.

Have you seen McKenzie?” Zach asked Jonah. He’d just come back to the barn after a long walk to clear his head.

“She asked me to saddle Sugar and keep an eye on Davey. Then, she rode off. I’m not sure where,” Jonah said. “She seemed pretty upset.”

Zach stared at the floor. “I reckon she was,” he said, his voice barely audible, even to himself.

“You know, Zach, it’s none of my business, and I don’t want to pry, but is everything all right?”

Zach sighed. “No, Jonah, it’s not. McKenzie came here to be my wife under false pretenses. She wanted to locate her missing sister, and she needed a place to stay, someone to help her, and financial resources for her operation. I can’t believe it took me so long to put two and two together and figure that was why she answered my advertisement for a mail-order bride. It’s not every day a woman of her class and social standing would leave all of that behind to move to the Montana Territory. But I was blind. I thought—” Zach stopped himself. It didn’t matter what he thought. What was done was done. McKenzie didn’t love him, and their marriage had been a cruel joke. Once the town found out, there would be no shortage of pity for him—pity he neither wanted nor felt he could handle.

“I don’t understand,” Jonah said.

“McKenzie wasn’t looking for a husband any more than you’re looking for a wife. She wants to find her sister, and it seems she’ll do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal—even get married. From what I understand, when she first arrived here, she wrote to tell her parents about the ‘horrible conditions’ here. She complained that I was treating her unkindly and making unreasonable demands on her, and that’s why her mother decided to travel here. Mrs. Worthington had no shortage of words to let me know just how she felt about a man who would treat her daughter the way I was supposedly treating McKenzie.”

“I’m sorry, Zach,” Jonah said. “You know, I’m not an expert about marriage, and I’m especially not an expert about women. You know my background. After my ma left, my pa filled my head with all the negative parts of marriage; all he did was complain. But, I will tell you something, Zach. What you and McKenzie share—I’m not talking about when she first arrived here; she was different then. But now, she’s changed; you have to admit that.”

“I know she has, or seems to have,” Zach said. “But, like her desire to get married in the first place, it could all be just a farce.”

“I don’t think so, Zach. She would have to be a mighty fine actress to be able to hide her true feelings. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. I’ve heard how highly she speaks of you to others. It’s not a farce, Zach. It’s the real thing.”

Zach stared at the man who had worked for him for the past three years. In that time, Jonah had become like a brother to him. “You really think so?” he asked.

“I do. Like I said, I don’t know much about marriage. I don’t even like the thought of getting married, myself. But, when I see you and McKenzie together, I see something like…something like what Asa and Rosemary have.”

“We’re far from what Asa and Rosemary have,” Zach said. “Especially now.”

“Look—here comes Asa,” said Jonah. “He’s got a lot of experience when it comes to matters like this.”

Zach turned to see Asa coming through the barn door. “Asa, have you seen McKenzie?” he asked him.

“She’s with Rosemary. Davey and I were just over there. I took Davey home and put him to bed, and then I saw a light on out here and thought maybe you could use another friend to talk to.”

Zach nodded. “That I do. I’m glad McKenzie is all right. Jonah said she rode off pretty upset, and he didn’t know where she’d gone.”

“She’s all right physically, but, emotionally? That’s a different story,” Asa said. “I didn’t stick around to find out all the details, and I didn’t want Davey to hear them, anyhow, so we rode back. I reckon she’ll be on her way shortly.”

“She fooled me into thinking she wanted to marry me for who I was, not what I could do for her,” Zach said.

Asa nodded. “So I heard.”

“What should I do, Asa?”

“I told him you had a lot of experience in matters like this,” Jonah put in.

“Ah, yes. Years of experience. But, I will never know it all.” Asa chuckled. “If you think this is the only fight you will ever have with your wife, you are sorely mistaken. There are many more to come. It’s only natural when two totally different people join in marriage.”

“But she’s going back to Boston once she finds her sister, if not sooner,” Zach said. “That was her intent in the first place. Our marriage was to be a temporary arrangement.”

“Ah, that may have been her intent in the beginning; perhaps her plans have changed. I may be wrong, of course, but, from what I can tell, it seems that her feelings for you are very different now from what they once were.”

“I don’t know, Asa. Even if she’s changed her mind about me, how can I ever forgive her? She lied to me. She manipulated me into marrying her with a promise of forever, when she had no intentions of keeping her end of the deal. Not only that, but she also hurt Davey. That’s unpardonable. I’m not sure I could let her remain a part of our lives, even if she wanted to.”

“Unpardonable, you say?” Asa asked, arching his eyebrows. “Do you think God would call what she did unpardonable?”

“No, probably not, Asa. But I don’t really feel up to a lecture right now,” Zach said.

“Few people ever want a lecture, Zach. I’m going to give you one anyway.”

Zach sighed. “She never cared about me, never loved me, never meant to stay. She married me only to use my help in finding Kaydie. And, she told lies about me.”

Jonah snickered. “You really want that lecture, don’t you?”

“Zach, the Lord forgives us of all sins when we repent,” said Asa. “He doesn’t pick and choose and say, ‘You know what? That sin was just too bad. Sorry. Can’t forgive you for that one.’ No, He forgives us for every sin. He also tells us in the gospel of Matthew, ‘For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.’ He then tells us, ‘But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ The Lord not only wants you to forgive McKenzie, but He also wants you to forgive her completely, thoroughly, and more than once.” Asa paused and put his hand on Zach’s shoulder. “Also in Matthew, Jesus commands us to forgive someone ‘seventy times seven’ times. That’s a lot of times.”

“You’re right, Asa,” Zach said with a groan. “I just don’t feel like I’m in the forgiving mood right now. I have a broken heart that might never heal.”

“Ah, you have been wronged, no doubt about that. What McKenzie did was unthinkable. She betrayed your trust and defamed your character, and I’ll not excuse her for a minute for what she has done. However, I will tell you one thing. The woman you chose to marry—the woman you made a vow to love, honor, and cherish through good times and bad—is at my house, crying with no end in sight at the way she has hurt you. You must ask the Holy Spirit to equip you with a forgiving heart. Surrender to Him. When you do, He will restore your marriage and help you both to grow. Trust me on this, Zach. I have had my share of arguments with Rosemary. There was a time in our early years of marriage when she was so angry with me that she loaded all her belongings in the wagon and drove to town. I feared she would never come back, and so I went after her. It was hard, because I was hurt and angry, too, but I humbled myself and asked her to forgive me, even as I forgave her. I didn’t want to lose her any more than you want to lose McKenzie.”

Asa paused and looked at Zach. “The last thing I came in here to do was lecture you. But I have seen with my own eyes the changes that McKenzie has undergone. As Rosemary always says, ‘The Lord is the changer of hearts.’ And she’s right. McKenzie is not the woman you first married. She is by no means perfect, yet, none of us is. But you made a vow to her before God. Are you going to turn your back on your vows at the first sign of trouble?”