Meant to Be (3 page)

4

Cortland

I met Monnique for lunch during my break. We usually went to a café because I only had forty-five minutes. She was off today, so she already had the food ready at the table outside on the patio.

She was wearing a yellow dress the fit nicely to her curves. Her hair was down and in slight curls. Her make up was light but her eyes still shined bright. She was a vision. Every time I saw her, I couldn’t believe she was mine. She was perfect.

I cupped her face and kissed her when I reached the table. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She blushed slightly.

I sat across from her then kept looking at her. Her breasts were noticeable in the cut of her dress. I looked away then picked up my sandwich.

“That wasn’t discreet,” she said with a smirk.

“Don’t expect me not to gawk at you if you dress like that.”

“No. That was the point.” She sipped her iced tea. “How’s work?”

“Fine. Nothing too eventful to report.”

“How’s Andrew?”

“Sean and Mike try to give him things to do to keep him occupied, but he’s still restless. I can’t imagine what he’s going through.”

Her eyes softened. “He’s such a wonderful man and doesn’t deserve to be in pain.”

“I know.”

I picked up my sandwich and took a few bites. Monnique picked at her salad, eating a few pieces at a time. Sometimes I worried about her health because she ate so little. Her back was perfectly straight and she ate with grace.

There was something I had put off for a while, a conversation we needed to have. But there was so much going on that I didn’t think it was appropriate to bring it up. But I was running out of time. “Baby?”

“Hmm?”

“There’s something I want to discuss. I hope you don’t get angry with me.”

She stilled and held her fork in her hand. “Yeah?”

“You told me your ex…used to hurt you.” I hated saying the words. It killed me. It ripped me apart.

She averted her gaze and focused on her salad.

“And…I can’t just accept that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to know who he is.”

Monnique finally looked at me. “What’s done is done, Cortland. Just let it go.”

“But I can’t. You should report him to the police.”

She started to grow agitated. “It’s been too long, Cortland. I have no evidence at this point. I’ve recovered from that pain and I’ve moved on. Leave it in the past.”

“No one hurts my girl and gets away with it,” I snapped. “Period.”

She held my gaze, not backing down.

“I want to know what happened.”

“You already know what happened.”

“No. I want to know how it started and how it ended. I need to make sure this guy won’t be a problem in our future.”

“He won’t find me,” she said dismissively.

“So he would try to find you?” I didn’t like that at all.

“Cortland, I don’t know what he’s thinking.”

“Did he still come after you when you broke up?”

She put her fork down. “Can we discuss something else?”

“No.”

“Now isn’t the time.” She eyed the table next to us.

“Then we’ll discuss it tonight after work.”

She sighed.

“You can’t run away from this. I’m sorry.”

“There’s no point in getting upset over something you can’t change,” she said firmly. “I got out of that relationship and I moved on—with you. I’m happy and know you would never hurt me like that.”

“That’s not the point.”

She stabbed her salad with her fork and scratched the plate. “I’m done with this conversation.”

I finished my sandwich and backed off. I knew Monnique wouldn’t be thrilled to have this conversation. I knew how she was. But I needed to discuss it. I had to make sure Monnique was truly safe from that asshole. If not, I’d take care of it. I wasn’t an innately violent guy, but if something threatened the person I loved more than anything, I would tear them apart. And I would have my boys back me up, who would be just as pissed as I was.

Monnique didn’t look at me for the rest of the meal. She finished half her salad then ate a few slices of bread. I finished my entire meal because I was starving. There were usually snacks in the break room but it was sugary, fattening foods, something that would ruin my diet. If my girl had a
smokin’ body, I had to have one too so she’d stick around.

Monnique looked at the people passing us on the sidewalk and glanced at the nearby tables. She suddenly darted her ga
ze away and focused on the surface. The movement was so sudden, it caught my eye. It was like she’d seen a ghost.

Her eyes moved back to the original spot then quickly looked away again.

“Baby, everything alright?”

She turned to me. “Some guy keeps staring at me…”

I didn’t see why that was weird. People stared at her all the time. “You want me to take care of it?”

“No.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “But if he keeps it up, I’m going to slap him across the face.”

“I can do that for you.”

“Let’s just get the check and go.”

I waved down the waitress and took the tab from her. I threw down the cash. “I’ll walk you home.”

“Okay.” Normally, she’d reject the offer, but I could tell this guy made her uncomfortable.

When we stood up, Monnique’s eyes flashed open. I looked behind me and saw a man head toward her, wearing slacks and a collared shirt. His sunglasses hung in his pocket, and his Rolex reflected the light from the sun.

I immediately stepped in front of Monnique, blocking her with my size. I didn’t care if men stared at her because there was nothing I could
do about it, but harassing her was a different story. “Can I help you?”

He peeked over my shoulder then turned his gaze on me. “Shane Waters.” He extended his hand to shake mine.

Was that supposed to mean something to me? “How can I help you?” I repeated.

He opened his wallet then pulled out a business card. “I’m the CEO of Satin magazine, and I couldn’t help but notice the gorgeous woman you’re with today. I would definitely be interested in holding an audition for her if she’s willing.”

What? Did my girl just get offered a modeling gig?

Monnique came around me
, her eyes wide. “Me?”

H
e eyed her up and down. “Please don’t take this offensively, but you are very appealing. I can see you really making an impression for my magazine. You have the right curves and right appearance. And you’re exotic. That’s in right now.” He handed her the business card. “My cell number is on the back. Please consider the offer then reach out to me.” He extended his hand to shake hers.

She eyed it before she took it. “Thank you. I’m flattered…”

“I’m surprised. I’m sure you get compliments all the time.  Have a good day.” He turned and walked away, disappearing into the crowd.

Her eyes wide, she turned to me. “Did that just happen?”

“I think so…”

She studied the business card in her hand. “Do you think I should do it…?”

I really didn’t know. “It’s up to you.”

“Would that bother you?”

I shrugged. “Saying my girlfriend is a model isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

She smiled. “I think I’m going to call him.”

I guess it made me a little uncomfortable that she would be photographed in god knows what, but if this is what she wanted, I would be supportive. I just hoped she wouldn’t change because of it, becoming materialistic and vain. Monnique knew she was beautiful, but she never spoke of it or even addressed it. I liked that she was humble about her looks. I just hoped my down-to earth girl wouldn’t change.

5

Hazel

The dance session was brutal on my feet. Contemporary dance seemed easy and straight forward, but it really wasn’t. And when you threw jazz and ballet in there, it really was something to moan and gripe about.

But I loved it nonetheless.

My greatest dream was to be in a Broadway production. I only had two lines, but it was still an accomplishment for me. But knowing no one I knew would be in the audience hurt. I would never see the reflection of the stage lights against my father’s glasses. I would never hear my mom scream my name. And Kyle couldn’t care less. He was fucking his new girl, not thinking about me.

The only friend I had right now was Cortland. I wanted something more to happen between us but he was hooked on Monnique. I accepted that. Why would I want to be with him if he was in love with someone else anyway? He was lucky he had someone. I wished someone loved me the way Cortland loved his girl. The longer I was in heartache, the more I realized it would never happen.

I knew the rest of the gang would come on opening night. I’m sure they’d bring flowers and hand them to me after the show, making me feel loved. Even Monnique would be there. But sometimes I couldn’t tell if they were there out of pity of genuine love. I felt like a part of their group, but I was still on the outskirts of it. They were such an odd group of people. They loved each other and had each other’s backs until the end of time, but they could be so vicious to one another. It baffled me at times.

I stretched my feet and rubbed the soreness out of the skin. My toes were slightly curled because they were still tight. The rest of the girls were chatting with one another, complimenting each other on their performance. I’d been in dance long enough to know you never made real friends. Even someone y
ou considered to be your best friend would stab you in the back and sell all your secrets. I kept to myself and tried to go unnoticed.

“God, the assistant director is so fine.” Lucy, the main lead was gushing over a new guy.

I tried to ignore her and adjust my shoes.

“You think he’s gay?” Brittany asked. “The director is.”

“No,” Lucy said quickly. “No way.” Lucy had more curves than the rest of us. Unlike her, I wasn’t so gifted in the chest department. I was very flat, barely able to call myself a woman. I was a little self-conscious about it. Kyle’s new girl was a very busty lady. That probably stung the most. He traded up for someone better.

Br
ittany crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t know… A guy that good-looking can’t be straight.”

I hadn’t even seen the assistant direct
or. I didn’t know what his name was. Our dance instructor was the only one I paid attention to. The main actors didn’t even practice with us most of the time. They were responsible for other aspects of the show.

“Flynn is straight,” Lucy said firmly. “I caught him staring at me a few times.”

I rolled my eyes and hoped they didn’t see me. There was more to life than cute boys. And they would just rip your heart out anyway. Unable to stand the gossip, I picked up my shoes then headed into the changing room. I pulled my hoodie over my head and pulled on my spandex. My hair was in a tight bun so it wouldn’t get in my face. The damn thing always gave me a headache so I pulled it out and let the strands fall across my shoulders.

It immediately felt better.

I grabbed my stuff and left the changing room. The back entrance led to an alley so I never walked out that way. That would be stupid. I knew I’d get mugged—again. I learned my lesson pretty quickly.

When I walked down the steps
, I saw a group of girls crowd around a man. He wore dark jeans and a plain t-shirt. He looked too young to be the assistant director, but there was no doubt it was he. I could tell by the headset he held in his hand. The girls were chatting with him, and he smiled and nodded along.

He was really hot. I’d give him
that.

But seeing the smirk on his face as the girls drowned him in attention made me sick. He was just like all the
others, sleeping with the dancers he preferred while offering to give them a prime spot in the show.

Disgusting.

I walked out and headed home, feeling more alone than I ever had.

After watching a stupid chick flick that left me in tears, I turned off the TV and stared out the window of my tiny apartment. My kitchen and living room were a single space. My bed was in the corner and I had a single dresser. It was small even for a studio, but it was all I could afford. And I was fine with that. Cortland never commented on the small enclosure. When I invited him over, he didn’t try to get me to go to his place instead.

My phone vibrated so I glanced at the screen, wondering
who it was.

Chinese for dinner, baby?

It was Kyle. The first time he did this, I thought the message was meant for me. That he missed me and was sorry for the mistake he made. But when I responded, I quickly realized he texted me on accident. It was meant for his new girlfriend.

And this message was meant for her too.

I deleted the message and tried to forget I even saw it. Baby? He used to call me that. Now I was forgotten. He knew how much he hurt me. Could he just take an extra second out of his day and make sure he sent the message to the right person? Or better yet, just delete me?

Furious, I pulled my phone out.
Delete my number. Please.
I suspected his new girlfriend’s name started with an H.

God, I’m sorry
, Hazel. It was an accident.

Just reading a message
he wrote me made me want to hurl. I constantly felt sick when I thought about him. And what made it worse was, deep down inside, I still missed him.
Just delete me.

How are you doing?

Is he trying to torture me?
I’m well. Now delete me
. I was too proud to admit I was a total wreck. I would never tell him I missed him. I would act like everything was just fine until the end of time. If he expected me to cry over the breakup, forget it. If he expected me to beg him to take me back, it wasn’t going to happen. Forget it. He was the asshole, not me.

When he didn’t message me again, I was relieved.

But then my phone lit up again. I was going to throw this damn thing at the wall. I opened the message and saw a number I didn’t recognize.

Hey, Hazel. It’s Monnique.

I wasn’t expecting that.
Hey.
What else was I supposed to say?

I was hoping we could meet up somewhere and talk
.

God, I hoped she wasn’t going to scratch my eyes out and tell me to leave her boyfriend alone. I had enough drama in my life right now.
Okay.

Want to head to the coffee shop on fifth?

Now?

Or whenever you have time.

I guess it was better to get it over with as soon as possible.
I’ll be there in ten.

K.

She was already sitting in a booth when I arrived.
A cup was between her hands. She wore a jean jacket over a yellow dress. When she looked at me, I couldn’t read her expression. I checked her nails to see how sharp they were. After a horrible day, I just wanted some peace and quiet. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to get it.

“Hi,
” I said awkwardly. I sat across from her.

“Hi.” She cupped her glass.

What do I do now…?
“Does Cortland know you’re here?”

“No,” she sai
d quietly. “And I’d prefer it if he didn’t find out.”

That depends. I doubt he’d be happy if he knew we were having this meeting. Only bad
would come from it.

“I
just wanted to clear the air between us,” she explained. “It’s awkward between us, and since Cortland insists on having you in his life, I want to make sure we can be friends.”

I wa
sn’t expecting that. At all. “I’d like that.”

“But there’s something I have to know…”

Great. Here we go.

“Are you in love with him?” She stared directly into my eyes, studying me.

Now I knew why she wanted to see me in person. I couldn’t lie when we were face-to-face. “No.”

“Were you?”

“No.”

“Do you still have feeling for him?”

This girl wouldn’t quit.
“When I met Cortland, I thought he was handsome. And when I got to know him, I realized he was a serious catch. Even heartbroken, he was a better boyfriend to me than my own was. But I knew his heart belonged to you. I admit I wanted something to happen between us. We were both broken, and I thought, one day, we wouldn’t be anymore. But when he told me he was in love with you and couldn’t reciprocate anything with me, I accepted that. No questions asked.

“And when you two got back together, I never saw him like that anymore. He’s a good friend and I want him to stay that way. He understands what I’m going through because he’s experienced it himself. And, just to be clear, after being the recipient of a man who’s cheated
, I have no interest in hooking up with a guy who’s in a relationship or married. Not my cup of tea.”

That seemed to make her relax. She breathed a sigh of relief, and light entered her eyes.

“I want Cortland to be my friend, and the last thing I want is to come between you, so I hope we can move on from this and be adults.”

Monnique gave me a new look. “You’re right. I’m
sorry. I guess I’m insecure about our breakup. I’m afraid he’ll realize he made a mistake and leave me. What I did was pretty unforgivable…”

“It was, but Cortland loves you unconditionally. Please don’t be threatened by me.
I have no interest coming between you. He’s my friend and I want him to be happy.”

“You know, Hazel, you’re really cool.” She gave me a slight smile. “I’m sorry for being such a bitch.”

Now that Monnique admitted she was wrong, I liked her a little more too. “It’s okay.”

“So…”

“So…?”

“You want to hang out sometime?”

“What are you doing now?” I asked with a smile.

“Buying you a cup of coffee.” She winked at me then bought me a steaming cup of Earl Grey. Cortland must have told her what I liked. When she sat across for me, I felt a little more comfortable. I didn’t fear she would scratch my eyes open.

“So, how’s the rehearsal going?” she asked.

“You should have seen me when I walked here…I looked like an
Umpa-Lumpa.”

Monn
ique laughed loudly. “I’d love to see that.”

“You
really wouldn’t…”

She sipped her coffee. “Anyone you have your eye on?”

“No,” I said quickly. “But my ex texted me on accident, thinking I was his new girlfriend.” I rolled my eyes. “Even when we’re apart, I feel like I can’t get away from him.”

Monnique gave me a sympathetic look. “He sounds like an ass.”

“Oh, he is. I’m not sure why I was with him to begin with…”

“You’ll find someone better.”

“There is no one better. All men are jerks.”

“That’s not true,” Monnique said simply. “I know four really a
mazing guys that are worthy of Man of the Year.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Who?”

“Cortland, Ryan, Sean, and Mike.”

I rolled my eyes. “ I meant single guys.”

“They’re out there. My last boyfriend used to beat me.” She said it like she was talking about the weather. “I always had to cover my bruises with make up, wear an arm brace under my clothes because my wrist was sprained, and lie to my parents when they knew something was wrong.”

I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry…”

“My point is, I thought there were no good guys in the world. I thought they were all assholes and that’s how I deserved to be treated. After I finally got out of the relationship, I met Cortland. And he was Mr. Perfect. He was too good to be true. It was like God sent him to me to repair all the damage.”

That made my heart melt. “Does he know?”

“Yes, but we haven’t talked about it. Well, actually, he brought it up today, but I shruuged it off. I don’t like talking about, especially with him. I see how much it hurts him.”

“Well, that isn’t surprising. I’m sure he wants to kill someone.”

“And I know exactly who,” she jabbed.

“Does the guy still bother you?”

“No, I’ve moved around a lot and my family will take my secret to the grave.”

“You should talk to someone,” I said gently. “It’ll help.”

“Well, I’ll be talking about it to Cortland soon. I’ve known him long enough to understand he won’t let it go.”

“It is a big deal,” I reminded her.

“So, how long were you with your boyfriend before…it ended.”

“Two years,” I said bitterly. “He wanted to move to the city, so naturally, I chased him. It worked out for my dancing career anyway, but he never took it seriously. And now I’m too embarrassed to go back home. As soon as he found someone better, he tossed me aside. I wasted two years of my life.”