Meant to Be (RightMatch.com Trilogy) (22 page)

“I can’t get out of this funk. I want help.”

She waited.

“About Beth. And Johanna.”

Elsa opened the file she held containing the notes she’d taken on him. “Johanna is Ellie’s birth mother—who you haven’t heard from since Thanksgiving. That’s more than two weeks.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Any progress on finding her lawyer?”

“Um, yeah, Spence put a PI from his office on it. Johanna’s back in Ohio, living with her boyfriend. He found her lawyer, too. My attorney contacted him and gave him a rundown on what had happened from our viewpoint. The guy said he’d get back to us, but he hasn’t yet.”

“Uncertainty is always hard. I hope you hear something soon. What about Beth?”

He raked a hand through his hair. “I miss her. I hate that she’s not in my life.”

“Have you accepted that as fact? That you two are finished as a couple?”

He waited. Only stupid people lied to their therapists. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve respected her wishes and not contacted her since the scene I made at the restaurant.”

Thoughtful, Elsa stared out the window for a moment. “Okay, I’m going to lead this conversation away from Beth for a bit.”

He nodded.

“Tell me what your life was like up until you met Beth.”

“Normal. I had a great childhood. I’ve had a good adulthood.”

Again she checked the file. “MIT graduate? All kinds of accolades there, business journal write-ups when you got a job after you graduated. Ah, the chip you developed is being internationally distributed.” She read further. “You’re extremely close to your brothers, and you adore your parents.” She looked up. “Seems to me you’ve had a
charmed
life.”

“I guess I have. Even getting Ellie, then the online-dating site, fell into my lap.”

“So pretty much everything came easily until Beth.”

“Yep.”

“We should talk about why you broke pattern with her. Why you behaved what you say is abnormally.”

“I can’t figure out why. I never lie. Not even to get what I want.”

“No?”

“I’m—was—well-adjusted.”

“Before Beth? Or before Ellie?”

He stilled. “I was going to say before Beth. Do you think Ellie has something to do with my lying?”

“I’m saying you had a huge life change when you became a father, a single dad. And you’ve said she’s the reason you went on your own site and cheated to meet women. That’s when the first of the lies began.”

“I went on my own site because I was lonely.”

“And you were lonely because of Ellie.”

“All right, I’ll concede to that. But how does it relate to me lying to Beth? Truthfully, Elsa, now that I’ve gotten some distance, I can’t believe I was deceitful. That
so
isn’t me.”

“How do you feel about Ellie?”

He was trying to keep up with her change of subjects. “I’d do anything to keep her. Anything for her.”

“How do you feel about Beth?”

Cole paused. “You think they’re related?”

“I think it’s something to think about for the next session.”

o0o

The snow had piled up in the parking lot of Second Chances and Beth had difficulty finding an open space. This was her first visit back to the shelter after her wedding and she was anxious to be productive again. She’d called Carolyn to tell her she needed a few days off, but now she was ready to get out of her own head. She’d also told Carolyn what Spence had discovered about the town council’s plans for converting the shelter to a B&B.

As soon as she entered the first floor of the dwelling, Beth’s spine tingled. The air was tinged with…something that wasn’t good.

She passed a few teary-eyed clients, but that wasn’t unusual. These walls saw a lot of sadness. When she reached Carolyn’s office, she found it empty, but across the hall she caught sight of all the counselors and supervisors inside the meeting room.

The tingling worsened. Carolyn noticed her and waved her in. Again, the atmosphere was odd. No one was presenting information or even talking; they were sitting there, staring into space, occasionally sipping coffee. Oh, no, had they heard something about the shelter closing?

Carolyn said, “Hi, honey. Take a seat.”

Beth did, then asked, “What happened?”

“We, um, lost a client.”

She didn’t understand. Clients left the shelter all the time. So she waited.

“Mary Anderson, the woman you took in months ago, left us shortly after coming here.”

“Yes, I know.”

“She called while you were off, and we couldn’t accept her back in because we were full. She was so fragile that I was worried, but we were already over the legal limit and there simply wasn’t a bed available.” Carolyn, the toughest cookie Beth had ever known, began to cry. “I had a bad feeling about the situation. We got her into the shelter in Rockland, but…she never showed up at the meeting place for us to drive her there.”

“What happened to her, Carolyn?”

“She stayed with her abuser.” The director glanced at the clock. “Twelve hours ago, he killed her in her own bed.”

o0o

Session #3

As winter sun beamed into the room behind her, Elsa asked, “Have you thought about the issue we discussed in your last session?”

“I’ve thought about nothing but that. I still can’t figure it out. Unless…”

She waited.

“Spence is always teasing me about having everything I want, being able to get it without effort. Is it because I couldn’t get Beth without effort that I wanted her so badly? God, that sounds so shallow.”

“I’m not sure it’s accurate, either, Cole.”

“You know, in some ways the guys don’t really know me. Maybe Joey does better than Spence. I worked my ass off at MIT. And then at TechWorld. The chip I developed took me years.”

“Still you achieved all that when you were in your twenties. And from what your dad told me, you’re also a gifted musician.”

“And a good father.”

That drew a smile from her.

“Look, I know I had a lot of success. I just don’t think I lied to get what I thought I couldn’t have.”

“Then why do you think you lied?”

“God knows. Got any ideas, Doc?”

o0o

Beth had a migraine headache. She used to suffer from them when she was younger, but they’d abated in the past few years. The intense pain had come back, though, at a very bad time. The shelter she loved was in an upheaval, and the death of that poor woman had made Beth ill. She was dreading Christmas, and of course, she was turned inside out from missing Cole. Now she had to deal with another stupid problem from a guest who was making a lot of noise in the reception area.

“The sheets on our bed are dirty.”

“Dirty?” Beth asked. “When did you come in, Mrs. Kingston?” The woman was dressed in a designer pantsuit and heels.

“An hour ago. We were going to take a nap and found the sheets dirty.”

“Like they hadn’t been washed?” Beth was shocked at that kind of incompetence. Had trouble believing it.

“Apparently.”

“All right, Mrs. Kingston, I’ll come look.”

The woman raised her chin. “Are you doubting my word?”

“No, I just need to verify this for my staff so I can trace what went wrong. So it doesn’t happen again.”

“You should just take my word for the shoddy housekeeping.”

Beth cocked her head, which felt like baby elephants were stomping in it. “I’m sorry. I have to see for myself.”

“I want my money back.”

“Excuse me?”

“I want a return of my payment.”

MJ, who’d been hovering in the background, approached them. “Mrs. Kingston, I already told you that you couldn’t get your money back. You booked a nonrefundable package, at a huge discount.”

“Not if you have dirty sheets.” She held up what appeared to be her registration envelope. “This says specifically that I can get a refund if I’m unsatisfied with the accommodations.”

“Fine,” MJ answered. “Let us just go check out your unsatisfactory conditions.”

Beth’s temper snapped. She’d had enough of selfish, superficial people. “Do you have a credit card with you?”

“Of course.”

Quickly, Beth snapped it out of the woman’s hand and ran it through the machine. “There’s your money back. I expect you to leave the premises immediately.”

The woman’s brows narrowed. “You can be sure I’ll post about this on Trip Advisor. Along with the abominable service.”

“You do that, Mrs. Kingston.”

When the woman stalked away, MJ turned to her. “I have never seen you behave that way in all my years of knowing you.”

“The bitch deserved it.”

A chuckle escaped her friend. “You’re right, she did. But she could hurt our bookings.”

“I doubt it. All the reviews are great. But even if she did, right now I don’t give a fuck. I have a migraine and I’m going to bed.”

“Beth…”

“No. Please, just leave it. We’ll talk later.”

MJ nodded and Beth hurried to her suite, to the bathroom where she vomited violently. Afterward, she took some migraine medication she kept on hand, lay down—and began to sob.

Which only made the pain worse. All of it.

o0o

Session #4

“I keep going back to what you said about Ellie. That I only turned into Pinocchio after I got her.”

Elsa smiled at his analogy. “I do think that’s something to explore.”

“Yeah? So help me.”

“You said you’d do anything for Ellie. To keep Ellie.”

“I would.” He frowned. “But that comparison doesn’t work for me. I’ve never lied to keep another woman.”

“You didn’t have to. But go deeper than that. Why do you think you fell so hard for Beth?”

“We talked online for months. I was lonely, I guess, and I shared a lot of the new feelings I was having with her. Ellie brought out so many different emotions in me. I needed someone to…see them, I guess. So maybe…”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe I was more open to falling for a woman.”

“You didn’t open yourself up to women before?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, really. I never gave it much thought. I had some good relationships, but they never went anywhere. I don’t remember being so vulnerable to them.”

“So, you were vulnerable to Beth. Why do you think that happened?”

“You got me there.”

“Babies change us irrevocably, Cole. We have to come out of ourselves to take care of them. We have to let ourselves be totally vulnerable.”

“So what? I found out how much you could love someone and how absolutely great it was?”

“Yes, then you fell for Beth.”

“How does that explain the lying?”

“Well, you loved her and thought—really, you knew—you needed to lie to keep Beth in your life, unlike with other women.”

“Jesus. That sucks.”

“Maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t. You’re only human Cole,” Elsa said with a deprecating smile, “despite how phenomenal you are.”

o0o

The offices of Global Industries in Rockland were impressive. For Christmas, the big glass-and-chrome building was decorated with tasteful white lights, huge trees in the foyer, and one on Spence’s floor, along with greenery everywhere. This year, Beth hadn’t even decorated the Inn but had left it to her floor manager.

Spence’s secretary showed her into his office. He sat behind a huge cherry desk, much like the one Peter had bought for work. Cherry accents and leather took up the rest of the space and the view of the city behind him was breathtaking. But there was a hominess about his office, too. Pictures of his family were everywhere. “Beth, nice to see you.” Spence stood and circled his desk. “Sorry I couldn’t meet you anywhere else, but I have a meeting later this afternoon that I can’t cancel.”

“That’s okay. I appreciate you fitting me in.”

The phone rang, and he rolled his eyes. “I told Sandra not to interrupt me unless it was crucial. I’m going to have to take the call.”

“Go ahead, I’ll look at the tree.”

In the corner sat a fresh, blue spruce that smelled like the outdoors. The limbs were covered with decorations, which reminded her of the ones Ava and Rob used to make in school. A reindeer consisting of Popsicle sticks. Santas with cotton beards. An older child must have made some of them. There were drawings of sleighs and nativity scenes pasted on squares. Bulbs were decorated with glitter and stickers.

Several pictures hung from limbs. One of Cole with Spence’s kids was set in a fancy frame. Just looking at the square jaw, the messy hair, the blue eyes made her stomach ache.

Spence crossed to her. “Hope and Alex made most these. Then Joey’s two added theirs and Annie put in some pictures. I love this tree.”

“Pretty different from the sophisticated decorations in the rest of the place.”

“Thank God. Change is good. Letting people change your life is good.”

“I asked you not to talk about Cole.”

“I was talking about Annie, but Cole will always be there between you and me, Beth.”

They took seats on matching couches made of butter-soft, white leather. “I gather this isn’t about my brother, then.”

She shook her head. “I want to talk to you about the shelter. I’ve been giving the situation there a lot of thought. If they had a different facility—that they owned—would your money and other donations, hopefully, be easier to get?”

“Sure, if they weren’t in danger of being closed down at the whim of the town council. Has someone donated a building?”

“Someone might.”

“Who?”

“Me. I’m thinking about closing the Inn and turning it into a shelter for battered women.”

Literally, Spence’s jaw dropped. “Wow, you’re talking megabucks with the lakefront property.”

“I know. And I don’t care. The property’s been in Peter’s family for years. We converted it to an inn when he retired, and truthfully, I’ve never liked running the place.”

“Why?”

“I cater to the privileged. I don’t do anything meaningful with my life.”

“Except to volunteer at the shelter.”

“Which will be closed if somebody doesn’t do something. And we can’t afford that. Society, I mean.” She filled him in on the former client who was murdered. “The Inn has even more rooms than the current shelter. I own the property next door, too. I have plenty of money to live on from Peter’s life insurance and social security, our 401Ks. I don’t need the income.”