Mechanical (7 page)

“Well, I think everyone is nice. I haven’t
met anyone I dislike,” I told her, still confused.

She shook her head, laughing quietly. “No
Drew, I mean
like
like.”

I stared blankly back at her.

“Crush?” she tried again, her eager
expression fading and a concerned one taking its place.

Oh
. “Um ... I haven’t exactly been
looking,” I told her truthfully.

She laughed again, seeming to find my
reaction hilarious. “Okay, okay.”

The rest of the evening consisted of dinner
then the remainder of the movie, which we barely watched due to
Jessica filling me in on school gossip and crushes. Finally, in the
early hours of the morning, Jessica deemed it late enough to go to
sleep. She let me have her bed while she snuggled up with blankets
on the floor.

Jessica’s voice floated through the darkness
toward me. “We’re going to have to find you someone to like,” she
said matter-of-factly.

I smiled to myself. “Okay,” I replied, just
for the sake of making her satisfied.

In a little while, I heard Jessica’s
breathing slowing and I could tell she was asleep.

I, being an android, didn’t need much sleep.
Only about an hour a night, our recharge time, but I could even go
a few days without any if I had to.

But with nothing else to do anyway, I decided
I might as well go to sleep, too. I didn’t want to lay awake all
night staring at the darkened ceiling.

I rolled over, closed my eyes and fell
asleep. It was that easy. Like turning a switch.

* * * *

“Do you have an outfit you can wear?” Jessica
questioned me as she was sifting through her closet. She had asked
me to spend the night once again, suggesting that I go to church
with her on Sunday. I had agreed, not eager at all to go back to
the Institution. I'd called Glen and told him of my plans rather
than asking him for permission. I felt somewhat unhappy, thinking
that he might be angry when I returned, considering the fact that I
had basically hung up on him. But, I was acting on impulse, and
although it went against everything I had ever learned at the
Institution, it felt good. Like breaking the rules and eagerly
awaiting your punishment, just to say you did it.

“I’m not sure. Fancy?” I asked.

She gestured toward her wardrobe. “Somewhat
fancy. You can borrow something of mine if you want.” She pulled
out a blue knee-length skirt. “That black shirt you packed should
go fine with this,” she said, handing it to me.

I thanked her and headed into the bathroom to
change. When I came back, I found Jessica in a white skirt and pink
shirt, adjusting her hair in the mirror. “That skirt looks really
cute on you,” she commented. “It never hung right on me. I guess
it’s meant for people with long legs.” She playfully stuck her
tongue out at me and I laughed.

Jessica’s parents and Michael met us
downstairs and together, we walked out to the car. Jessica sat up
front with her parents. Michael and I crammed into the back.

“Good morning,” Michael said to us, although
he was looking at me. By now Jessica was just irritated with the
way he was acting toward me and breezed right by him with an
annoyed glance.

We rode for about ten minutes then pulled up
in front of a tall, white building. Inside the church were pews,
and I followed Jessica’s family as they walked up the center aisle
and sat down. Stained glass windows covered the walls, reflecting
different arrays of colored light and shapes. Paintings lined the
walls, but I didn't recognize the people in them.

During the service, I watched Jessica’s
family intently. They gazed attentively during the sermon and I saw
them sing along with many of the songs. Everyone around us seemed
to have the same fascination and wore smiles on their faces. They
looked peaceful. Oddly, I felt happy as well, although I had no
idea why.

As we exited the church afterward, I noticed
many kids from school had also attended. Upon seeing us, some
headed our way.

“A lot of kids from school go here,” Jessica
explained when I looked their way in confusion. A growing crowd of
people were milling around, talking to each other as the kids from
school approached us.

“Hey, Jessica. Hi, Drew.”

“Hi guys,” Jessica answered then asked about
a student who hadn’t attended. I didn’t contribute much to the
conversation but was glad to be included anyway. I was still
marveling at all of the people. They were so happy. They had
something—something that set them apart from others. Jessica and
other kids at school seemed to have something ... different. But no
matter how hard I had tried to imitate them, I could never manage
it. I couldn’t figure out where their contentment had come
from.

Now I knew. Their happiness, their composure,
their smiles came from the joy they found here. They had something
I somehow could never grasp, but now I knew what it was.

They had faith. Like the kind Jessica had
explained to me earlier. They had blind faith in something they
couldn’t see; the faith I had criticized. They believed in
something. I still wasn’t sure whether it existed or not, but they
believed in it and that seemed to be enough.

Suddenly, I was shocked to realize that I
wanted it as well. I wanted to feel the same way they did and to
have that
light
that seemed to radiate from them. I wanted
to find what they so openly held. I wanted something greater than
me, greater than the creators, to believe in. And I knew I would
search until I found it.

Chapter Eleven

“Drew, I have a swim meet in about a half
hour, so I have to get ready,” Jessica told me once we had arrived
home from church. “Do you know if your parents are going to pick
you up?”

I paused. I hadn’t even thought to ask Glen
about that. Well ... in all of the two seconds I had been on the
phone with him, I hadn’t really had time to ask.

“If they can’t, you can always just hang out
here,” Jessica said. “My parents wouldn’t mind. And then later we
can drive you home,” she added, as we headed into the living room
to get her swim bag.

“Hey, I can give her a ride,” Michael’s voice
piped from the chair in the corner.

Jessica gave him a funny look. It was
becoming one of her regular expressions. “Um ... okay. Do you mind
Drew?” she asked skeptically.

I shook my head.

“Okay, great.” Michael smiled, getting up.
“I’ll go get the car.”

Jessica watched him leave the room, her
eyebrows knitted together in thought. “Huh,” she said after he’d
left. “He never gives
me
rides.”

“Jess, you’re going to be late,” her dad
called from another room.

“Oops, okay,” she replied. “Sorry Drew, I
gotta run. We should definitely hang out again sometime, this was
fun.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“Michael probably has the car out front by
now. See you at school tomorrow!” She waved and hurried off.

I went upstairs, grabbed my bag from
Jessica’s room and walked outside. Michael did have the car ready,
as Jessica had predicted, and I hopped into the passenger’s
seat.

“So, where do you live?” Michael asked,
shifting the car to drive.

“It's about a ten minute ride from here. I’ll
give you directions,” I told him. “Just head through town.”

“Okay.” He backed up and started down the
road.

I stared out the window, watching the houses
that we passed.

“Nice skirt,” Michael said to me.

Wondering why he had commented, I looked down
and realized in surprise that I was still wearing Jessica’s skirt.
“Oh,” I said. “Oops, I forgot to change. I’ll give it back to her
tomorrow.”

He grinned. “It’s not like she’ll miss it.
She has too many clothes as it is.”

There was a pause and I stared out the window
again, watching the trees fly by. The radio wasn’t on, but I wished
it was. I needed some noise to cover the absence of our voices and
the awkward tension in the car. I suddenly realized that this was
the first time I had ever noticed that a situation was awkward. My
tension faded for a moment as I pondered this.

“So, where are you from?” Michael asked,
pulling me out of my thoughts.

Um .... where
was
I from? A factory?
An assembly line that created mechanical parts? Yeah. “Here,” I
answered.

“Huh. How come I haven’t seen you around
before now?”

Because I’ve only now come back
.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I stay home a
lot.” There was another uncomfortable pause.

“So, are you involved in any activities at
school?”

I shook my head.

“Oh. Well, what do you like to do?”

I looked at him. “Why do you want to know so
badly?” I asked, puzzled over why he wanted to know, when all he
was doing was giving me a ride home.

He smiled without taking his gaze off the
road. “Just trying to make conversation.”

“Oh. Well ... to tell the truth, I don’t
really know. Turn here,” I said, pointing to the road.

He nodded, turning. “I know what you mean. I
don’t do much of anything, either. I don’t even know what I want to
do for a career after I finish school and everything.” He sighed as
if this decision weighed upon him daily.

Career. The thought had never even crossed my
mind. My existence was strictly to carry out the missions the
creators assigned us. If obeying orders was considered a career,
then it was the only one I would ever have.

“I could see you as a writer,” Michael
stated, looking satisfied with himself.

“A writer?” I was startled to think he would
choose that kind of a job for me. “Like, what kind?”

“I don’t know. A journalist, maybe. Something
like that.”

I stared at him, surprised. “Why do you think
I should be a journalist?”

He shrugged. “Well, you’re quiet. And from my
experience, the quiet ones are always the ones who have the most to
say. The loud ones just say a bunch of stupid stuff. It’s always
unimportant. But whenever the quiet ones speak up, everyone listens
‘cause they know it's got to be something worth hearing.”

There was a pause.

“Maybe you’re right.” I glanced at him,
thinking for the first time that Michael might be more than just an
annoying human boy who talked a lot.

“Yep, you’re gonna be a writer someday,”
Michael said, grinning at me.

“Turn here. Go two miles, turn left on Grande
Road.”

Michael followed my instructions and turned
in the direction I pointed. “So, what do you think would be a good
career for me?” he asked.

“Well, I don’t think I know you well enough,”
I answered. “What are you good at?”

He snorted. “Nothing.”

“I’ll bet that’s not true.”

“Well...”

“I could see you as a doctor,” I said,
interrupting him.

He shot me an incredulous look. “A doctor?
Why?”

“I don’t know. You just look like one.” I
looked at him innocently.

“Okay. Now that’s settled,” he replied
teasingly. “We now have our careers mapped out for ourselves. But
you gotta promise me one thing; when you’re a rich and famous
writer one day, don’t forget about me. Remember? That guy from high
school who gave you a ride home that one time?”

I laughed. “Like I’ll
ever
get rich
and famous,” I replied sarcastically.

“You just wait and see,” Michael said.

I had been so caught up in the conversation I
hadn’t noticed how close to the Institution we were. “Stop here,” I
said quickly.

He looked confused. “Where do you live?”

“I’ll walk from here...the driveway ... its
hard to get into,” I lied.

“Oh ... okay.” He slowly pulled the car to a
stop.

I hopped out and he handed me my bag. “Thanks
for the ride,” I said.

“No problem.”

“Jessica said you never give her rides.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Because she’s no fun
to talk to in the car like you are.”

I laughed. “Well, I have to go.”

“See you tomorrow, Drew,” he said.

“Bye.” I shut the car door and watched as he
drove off. I walked a few blocks and soon the Institution come into
view. Suddenly I stopped, seeing the building in a different way.
Before it had always just been where I lived, my life, my
reality.

For a few moments in the car, I had actually
believed that I could someday become a writer. I shook my head,
wondering how I could’ve even thought that about myself. For a
moment, I had believed I could take a job in an office, become a
famous writer and be a normal person, like Michael. I had been
silly to think I could be even remotely like a human. I had been
stupid. The Institution was holding me back and it always
would.

I was an android. I wasn’t a real person. I
told myself this a few times as I headed up the front steps. As I
walked into the lobby, my dreams of Jessica, Michael, friends, and
writing—a life—vanished behind the cold metal doors.

* * * *

I sat on the bed in my room, staring at the
pile of finished homework that lay beside me. I had nothing else to
do. That was mostly the reason I had brought it home in the first
place. I knew that I could have finished it at school but instead,
thinking ahead, I had brought it home.

What did normal kids do after they were
finished with their homework? I didn’t know because I wasn’t
normal. They probably just went off and did whatever they wanted
to. After all, they had family, friends and agendas. I had nothing.
Nothing but white walls. I fell back on the bed and closed my
eyes.

I felt so empty. The other kids at school
seemed to be much happier than I. They seemed to be living for
something.

Did I even have a reason to live? The
creators had told me that my purpose was to fulfill my mission.
That was a reason, wasn’t it?