Megan 3 (15 page)

Mum smiled a little. ‘We’ve been living in this pigsty quite happily up to now, and we can go on living in it.’

‘You’re doing a stupid thing, Christine,’ George said warningly. ‘We’ve got a good life ahead of us – don’t let this little thing spoil it.’

‘This isn’t a little thing,’ Mum said. ‘Anyone who
comes into my life must love my children – and Jack – as much as I do. If they don’t then it’s no good. No good at all.’

George got up and started swearing and pacing about angrily.

‘Perhaps you’d better go and pack now,’ Mum said after a moment. ‘Go back to your wife if she’ll have you.’ He went to say something and she turned away from him and said, cold and distant, ‘I’ve made up my mind, George. Don’t bother to try and say another word.’

She didn’t say anything after that, but she and I sat down on the sofa together, with Jack hugged between us, while George raved, swore a bit, then had another go at Mum. Eventually he went into the bedroom and must have started packing.

I think he got as far as putting one suitcase outside the door ready to take and then the new people turned up to see the flat again. I don’t know what he said to them because I could only hear the murmur of voices, but after a while they went away.

And then he went away as well and Mum and I just sat there for ages. In the end Jack went to sleep on my lap and Mum gave a couple of nervous coughs and said, ‘I’m sorry, Megan.’

‘What for?’

‘Sorry about George and everything. I thought it would be OK. I really thought we might be able to make a go of it but I…’ She shook her head and sighed. ‘I put Jack in jeopardy and could have ruined all our lives.’

I put my cheek on Jack’s downy head and she went on. ‘This might sound odd and you may not be able to understand it at your age, but I thought George was my last hope. I’d more or less given up on having a proper relationship with anyone ever again. George – well, thinking about it now, I probably rather grabbed at him without working things through. All I could see was a husband, car and decent income –
and
a proper house – somewhere we could bring up Jack together.’

I nodded slowly.

‘Then as soon as he moved in – and believe me, that situation was forced on me much sooner than I would have chosen – I began to see the drawbacks. But I told myself that once we were in the new house with all the space and everything, it would be all right.’ She shook her head. ‘It wouldn’t have been, of course.’

I didn’t say anything – I didn’t know what to say – but I patted her hand. I mean, we aren’t a very
touchy-feely family, but right then I felt pretty close to her. I knew that she’d chosen us over him, and was grateful. I knew, too, the answer to that constant question about who I was. Before anything else, first and foremost, I was a mum. And if the time ever came when I had to decide between Jack and someone else, then it would always be Jack.

First published in Great Britain in 2001
Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
50 Bedford Square,
London, WC1B 3DP

This electronic edition published in September 2012 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

Copyright © Mary Hooper 2001

The moral right of the author has been asserted
A CIP catalogue record of this book is available from the
British Library

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You may not copy, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (including without limitation electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, printing, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages

eISBN: 978-1-4088-3679-8

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