Melodies of the Heart: A Pinewood Grove Sweet Romance (9 page)

For the first time since her friends had returned home for the summer, Kassidy was finally on her way to do something with them. She’d meant to arrange a girls’ night, maybe dinner or a trip to the movies or something when they got back, but Levi had shown up at the exact same time and her world had been sent spinning on its head.

Kassidy also knew she was in for some grief over that. They’d been back for two weeks and every time they’d gone to do something as a group, she had always had to bow out.

Tonight would be different. Kassidy pulled on a pair of black leggings to go with the heather grey shirt she got at Maeve’s clothing shop up the street. It cost a bit more than the similar stuff that ShopMart sold, but Kassidy was happy to support one of their Main Street neighbors.

Her parents were relieved that she was going out with the girls for once, though they didn’t say anything more than that. She knew they wanted to add, “Instead of that rock star,” but at least they kept that part to themselves.

It had been Kassidy’s choice to head to The Black Sheep, a restaurant that had been part of town since before any of them had been born. After nine it turned into a bar, but they had a few hours before that would happen and they served great food all night long.

“Hey,” Addison called to her when Kassidy walked into the restaurant. Her friends were already there and Kassidy slid into their booth to join them.

“What’s up?” Kassidy asked, excited for a night of girlish gossip and finally getting to catch up with her friends.

“I found out what is going in the vacant lot on Main, the one near ShopMart,” Addison told them.

“Oh?” Kassidy asked.

“Yeah, apparently we’re getting a Great Harvest House,” she told them.

“You mean the chain?” Gillian groaned. “That is the exact opposite of what we need around here.”

For the first time that summer, Kassidy agreed with her. She hadn’t always seen eye to eye with Gillian, and she’d only found herself more put off by her since she’d gotten home from college. Gillian was grumpier than usual, but she thought better than to call her on it.

“I know, isn’t that awful?” Addison agreed. “This was like, the last place in town that was doing well and that chain will probably kill it.”

“That’s bullshit,” Gillian snapped, and everyone paused to look at her. “What?” she snapped again.

“Um, that’s just a bit excessive,” Kayla said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“So is all this chain stuff coming to Pinewood Grove and ruining a great town,” Gillian shot back. “You know what? I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine,” everyone agreed, but Kassidy was left wondering what Gillian was so grumpy about. Her dad was an optometrist, the only one in town, and their family did well enough that her mother hadn’t worked a day in her life. She’d never complained about the chains before, which only made Kassidy more worried for her.

“Tell me about college,” Kassidy said, turning the topic to something more enjoyable. “What was your junior year like?”

“Oh, not bad,” Addison said with a shrug. It certainly wasn’t the kind of answer that Kassidy was expecting.

“Just not bad?” Gillian asked, though she didn’t look that concerned or interested.

“I don’t know,” Addison mumbled. “School is fine, my grades are good, but it’s not really what I want to do. Three years studying biology have only made me realise what I really want to do.”

“Sing?” Kassidy asked.

“Yup,” she agreed. “But I’ll get my degree and then do that while I try to get the singing thing off the ground. At least a science degree should help me out with the bills. What about you, Gillian?”

“It was fine,” she told her, but she didn’t look fine. She put on a cold, hard front, but it was different than the Gillian that Kassidy had known since they were little girls. She was hiding something, but Kassidy knew better than to pry.

“Okay...” Addison said. “Kayla?”

For the first time, one of them actually looked excited. “It was really good,” she told them. “I’m on track to graduate next year and then I’ll hopefully get a job here in town. From there I can do some correspondence to add a few more letters after my name.”

“Cool,” Kassidy said, and she meant it. Kayla was studying to be an accountant and everyone had agreed it was perfect for her. She had always been quiet, shy, and good with numbers. The career was right up her alley and she did seem genuinely excited about it.

“So...” Addison said, her voice drawn out and quiet. “Okay, I can’t take it anymore. What’s it like going out on dates with a rock star?”

“Oh,” Kassidy mumbled. She’d been hoping to avoid the topic, at least for a bit longer. Not that she wasn’t happy to talk about Levi, but she just didn’t want to say something that might be too revealing about him.

“Come on,” Gillian said, her face finally lighting up some. “You cannot hold out on us. You’ve been blowing us off for the guy since we got home.”

“That’s not true,” she insisted. She had other obligations, like helping Mary Alice and working at the bakery. She fit Levi in where she could and her friends were often making plans last minute.

Gillian rolled her eyes, and groaned, “Right.”

“Sorry Kass, but I’m with Gillian on this one,” Addison agreed and Kayla nodded as well.

“I bet he’s really wild,” Kayla said, though she kept her eyes on her bright blue frozen drink.

“He’s not,” Kassidy swore. “He’s actually a really nice guy.”

“I bet,” Gillian laughed. “Kass, he rides a motorcycle and he’s a famous rock star. He must be at least a little wild.”

“I swear, he’s just a nice guy,” she told him. “I think that’s why he’s staying in town. He told me he wants to get back to his roots and I don’t think being a wild rock star is what he wants.”

“He’s staying in town because a pretty strawberry-blonde has caught his attention,” Gillian told her. “The rest is just a bonus.”

“Maybe it’s the other way around,” Kassidy suggested.

“Maybe,” Addison agreed. “But come on, it must be at least a bit exciting.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t exciting,” Kassidy said. “Though it was weird when we were at the carnival and people kept coming up to us for photos with him. That was kind of surreal.”

“I bet,” Addison said. “But aren’t you worried it’ll keep happening?”

“Not really,” Kassidy said. “It didn’t bother me, it was just weird. I mean, the longer he stays in town the less of a big deal it will be, right?”

“True,” Kayla agreed and she offered a reassuring smile.

“And how long will that be?” Gillian asked, and Kayla’s smile quickly faded.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Kassidy told them truthfully. “I won’t lie and say I don’t want him to stay forever, because I do.”

“You aren’t going to tell him that, are you?” Addison asked. “I mean, you don’t want to scare him off.”

“I won’t lie if he asks,” Kassidy told her.

“But he will leave,” Gillian said.

“Gillian,” Addison hissed at her.

“What?” Gillian shot back. “Sorry to be the voice of reason, but life isn’t all sunshine and lollipops, okay? The guy is famous and is used to travelling the world. He’s going to take off when someone offers him enough money. Maybe he’ll want to take you with him, but are you even going to want to go if he asks?”

Kassidy’s shoulders slumped. She’d already asked herself that question a hundred times.

“No,” she told them. “This is my home. My life is here, my dreams are here. I... I wouldn’t go with him.”

“Oh Kass,” Kayla mumbled as she put a hand on her friend’s shoulders for comfort.

“I hate to admit it,” Addison said. “And I wouldn’t say it so harshly, but Gillian has a point. I’m not saying break it off, but be careful.”

“I’m trying,” Kassidy told them. That was true, but she hadn’t been trying very hard the last few days.

“Don’t forget about Paul,” Addison said. Kassidy knew her friend was just trying to help, but that was the last name she wanted to hear.

“I actually do want to forget about Paul,” she told them. “I know he still likes me, but I don’t think he actually likes
me
.”

“Huh?” Addison asked.

“I guess what I’m trying to say,” Kassidy tried to explain, “is that Paul likes me as an idea, not as a person. Small town girl, and I know I shouldn’t brag, but I’m not exactly ugly. Plus, he’s wearing his rose colored glasses from when we dated in high school.”

“What if you’re wrong?” Addison asked.

Kassidy shrugged. “Maybe I am, but I don’t think so. There’s just no spark there, and honestly... there is with Levi. A big one.”

Her friends looked at each other and then back at Kassidy before Addison said, “Just don’t count him out. He’d make a good boyfriend, I’m sure.”

“And husband,” Kayla agreed.

“But he plans on leaving too,” Kassidy reminded them. “He goes back to school in a few months and then he’s doing law school after that. And he said he always wanted to get into politics, which he can’t do here. I mean, look at his parents. His dad is barely ever even in this state.”

That part they couldn’t deny. Paul respected his father, she’d learned that when they’d dated, but he rarely saw the man. He spent most of his time between the state capital and Washington D.C. and was only ever home for a few weeks in the summer and at Christmas.

“At least he’d be dependable,” Addison said.

“Maybe dependable isn’t what I need” Kassidy tried to tell them. “Or want.”

“Right now,” Addison said. “Just... please think of your future, okay?”

“I know, and I appreciate your concern,” Kassidy said, though that part was getting less true by the minute. She’d made her choice and her friends needed to back off a bit.

“We just want you to be with someone who will treat you how you deserve,” Kayla said and Gillian nodded to agree.

“And I am,” Kassidy insisted. “I know you guys may not believe me, but Levi treats me well. No one has ever made me feel this way. He respects me and he makes me feel special.”

It was at those words that Gillian leaned across the table and looked her dead in the eye before she said, “For now.”

Kassidy’s lip began to quiver and she excused herself to the bathroom. She knew her friends were just looking out for her best interests, but she couldn’t help but feel attacked and she needed a break.

She barely got into the bathroom before she realised that Addison was right behind her.

“I’m fine,” she told her best friend.

“Sure,” Addison said. “But can I apologize anyway?”

“That would be nice,” Kassidy told her as she moved to the paper towel dispenser to grab something to wipe her tears with.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Addison said. “It wasn’t my intention to upset you. It wasn’t even my intention to bring it up. It just kind of happened. We worry, that’s all.”

“I know,” Kassidy said as she got herself under control again. “And I’m glad you do, but for now can you just let me enjoy this?”

“Of course,” Addison promised.

“And,” Kassidy said with a big breath. “Be a shoulder to cry on if this whole thing blows up in my face?”

“Definitely,” Addison said, but then she was kind enough to add, “I’m hoping it doesn’t go that way and I’ll be your maid of honor instead.”

“Me too,” Kassidy said as she hugged her best friend.

“I just want you to be happy,” Addison told her. “Just promise you won’t let him do anything that doesn’t make you happy.”

“I swear,” Kassidy told her, though she wasn’t sure exactly how well she could keep that promise.

Kassidy laid on her bed in total silence, save the occasional chirp from her phone. She’d barely had the energy to work through the day, but now that she had nothing to distract her, it only made her feel worse.

Her friends’ warnings and advice had only compounded in her brain when she’d gone to sleep and when she woke in the morning, the day came with the worst anxiety she’d ever known. Breakfast was impossible to even consider, despite the fact that it was fresh, fluffy pancakes – her favorite – and instead she found herself nibbling on a single muffin throughout the entire day.

At least while the bakery was open for the day, she could distract herself with work, but now that dinner was over and her parents were watching one of their crime shows in the living room, she had nothing to do but sit in bed and think. She tried listening to music or playing a game, but she could barely concentrate before her thoughts found their way back to what she and her friends had talked about the night before.

They’re right
, she told herself, the idea of it sitting in her gut like a rancid pebble.
He’ll get sick of this small town, or his band will force him to play again, or something, but they’re right. He won’t stay forever.

She’d barely touched her dinner and her parents had known she was upset, but she claimed a stomach ache and left without finishing what was on her plate. Kassidy hated making them worry, but she simply couldn’t force herself to put the food in her mouth.

For the last two hours, she’d sat and listened to her phone chirp, but she ignored each message. Some were from Addison, just wanting to make sure they hadn’t hurt her feelings, but the bulk had been from Levi, and his concern was growing more and more obvious.

The first one had come when she’d taken her lunch, but she’d ignored it. Texting him only made that horrible feeling in her gut that much worse, so she just let the messages pile up and refused to look at them.

Over the course of the day, he’d texted once an hour, then twice, and now he was sending his third message in the last twenty minutes. Each little blip was like a dagger in her heart, and she knew it was wrong to make him worry, but she didn’t see another choice.

He just wanted to make sure she was okay, but she didn’t know how to reply without telling him everything that was bothering her, and everything she wanted to have with him. They were such different people and the idea of having to tell him that terrified her.

But he needed to know what was important to her. Not just the spark or romance, but her town, her bakery, and her church. Telling him that may scare him off for good, so instead she kept ignoring her phone while she tried to figure out just what to do about the whole thing.

It was sweet of him to be persistent, though, and when her phone chirped again, she went to read the message just to make sure everything was okay on his end, too
. It could be an emergency,
she told herself as an excuse to let herself read the texts.

“I’m at your front door,” the message read. “If you see this, please come see me.”

Her stomach flipped and then flipped back again. He was outside, waiting for her, and she had no clue if she should go see him. Seeing him in person might make her reveal all the thoughts she’d been holding so close to her heart until then, the kind of thoughts that might scare him off for good.

But she couldn’t not see him. The weather had only been getting warmer and she pulled on a pair of denim capris, a pair of flip flops, and a hoodie before she moved to head outside.

“Kass, honey, where are you going?” her mother called after her as she passed by where they were sitting. There was no way to leave the apartment without going right by the living room.

“Addison texted me,” she lied. “She’s having some sort of meltdown and wants to talk. I shouldn’t be too long, but you know how she gets.”

“Don’t be late,” her father warned, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she headed down the stairs.

But her nerves only came back when she reached the front door. Levi would be standing on the other side of it and she would have to deal with what was bothering her, whether she was ready to or not.

Steeling her resolve, she opened the door to find him staring up at her apartment.

“Hey,” she greeted him as she closed the door behind herself.

“Hi,” he said, a weak smile on his lips. “Is everything okay? I’ve been texting you all day and haven’t heard anything. To be honest, I was worried.”

“I’m fine,” she lied to him. “I just had a late night with some girlfriends and was laying down.”

“Okay,” Levi said, but from the look on his face she could tell he didn’t believe her.

That wasn’t the only thing that worried her. She’d told her parents that she was meeting Addison, not Levi, and if one of them decided to come down and check on her, she would be in even more trouble. There was nowhere to hide on Main Street, nowhere to talk privately, and they couldn’t stay put where they were.

“Do you want to go on a walk?” she asked. The sun had already set and there were dark, angry clouds in the night sky, but she didn’t have many other options aside from sending him off for the night.

“Sure,” he said and he gently slipped his fingers into hers, the warmth of his hand reassuring against her own.

Kassidy hadn’t picked a set destination when they began walking, but somehow they found their way to a small park off Redwood Street. There was a swing set, a slide, some monkey bars, and a gazebo that they walked toward without saying a word.

“This is nice,” he said as he sat down inside the covered gazebo and waited for her to join him.

“Yeah,” Kassidy said as she sat beside him, though she made sure to leave some distance between them. Her need for space was caused by her own insecurities, but it did not go unnoticed by Levi.

“Okay, you need to tell me what’s up,” he said when she stayed painfully quiet, her eyes refusing to meet his as they sat together.

“Nothing,” she insisted, though she kept her gaze straight forward.

“Please don’t lie to me,” he said, the hurt obvious on his face when she made herself look at him.

“It’s honestly nothing,” she tried again. “I’m just being paranoid about some stuff.”

“Paranoid about what?” he asked.

“About...” she began with a sigh. “About you leaving town.”

“I see,” Levi murmured. “What brought this on?”

“My friends,” she said honestly. “They were just trying to make sure I wasn’t being stupid about us, but they got me thinking about things and truthfully I just let those things snowball in my head and the next thing I knew, I was freaking out about you leaving again and it only gets worse the more I think about it.”

Getting it all out was like having a weight lifted off her shoulders, but now she had to worry about what his response would be. Her greatest fear was him telling her that yes, he did plan on leaving.

“Will if help if I told you I don’t want to go anywhere?” he asked.

“A little,” she told him. At least it was something.

“Kassidy, I can’t promise I’ll never leave town,” he told her. “But I can tell you I’ll always come back. I don’t think the rock star life is for me, not anymore, at least. I’m sure at some point I’ll have to go somewhere to get things sorted out, but only to do that. Then I’d come back.”

“You mean it?” she asked, trying not to get her hopes up but finding it way too hard not to.

“Of course,” Levi said and his hand found hers again and he squeezed it tightly.

Outside the gazebo, the rain was starting to fall and Kassidy let her head rest on his shoulder. He wanted to be with her, just like she wanted to be with him, and she let herself enjoy the moment until a crack of thunder startled her.

“I think we’re stuck here for a bit,” Levi laughed as the rain started to fall harder outside. They could run back, but not without getting soaked to the bone and risking lightning strikes in the heavily treed park.

“I don’t mind,” Kassidy told him as her eyes met his. She knew what she wanted then, and instead of waiting for him to kiss her, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his.

He let her lead this time, and never pushed her farther than she was comfortable with. His fingers stayed locked with hers while their kiss deepened and the thunder and rain rumbled all around them.

It was perfect, exactly what she’d dreamed of, and when she let her lips leave his, Kassidy whispered exactly how she was feeling.

“I love you.”

The words summed up every single emotion she’d been feeling since nearly the moment he rode into town. All her worries were caused by it, and all her happiness too. Saying it out loud was like breathing for the very first time.

But Levi didn’t say it back.

“Love...?” he mumbled as his fingers released hers.

“Is that okay?” she asked, her chin quivering as she looked at him.

“No, I mean yes,” he said, stumbling over his words. “I’m happy to hear it, please don’t think I feel otherwise.”

“But...” Kassidy said, forcing her voice to remain calm and steady. “You don’t feel the same?”

“It’s not that,” Levi said. “I care about you, more than I’ve cared about anyone in a really, really long time. I hope that much is obvious.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. He did make that pretty clear to her.

“I just, God, I just don’t think I can say those words,” he told her. “Not because of you, but because of me. I’m scared to let myself say it, I won’t lie to you about that.”

“Why?” she asked. She had been so certain that he would say it back, but now she wasn’t sure what to do at all.

“Because I haven’t been the kind of person I want to be,” he said. “Not for a very long time. I don’t think... Kass, I don’t think I deserve love, not right now. I need to work on myself and fix my issues before I can get there.

“But,” he continued. “That doesn’t mean I won’t get there. And I won’t lie, being with you has made me happier than anything has in years. Kissing you is like playing a sold out stadium for the very first time. I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve you, and that’s the problem. I worry I don’t deserve you.”

“But you do,” she insisted. “Levi, you’re a good person. You might not think so, but I see it. If you can’t say those words right now, that’s okay. I understand. I’m just happy you were honest with me instead of telling me something just because I wanted to hear it.”

“You sure?” he asked.

“Of course,” she said and she kissed his cheek. It was the truth, and she meant it completely. She loved him, there was no denying that. He might not be able to let himself feel the same way, not yet, but for now she was happy loving him while they waited out the storm together.