Melody of the Heart (16 page)

With the back to back success of
Until There Was You
and
Twisted Reality
, Runaway Train’s world literally went off the rails. Suddenly, they were everywhere. When I turned on the radio on the way home from class, I would always catch one of their songs. I squealed every single time, especially when Brayden came in to harmonize with Jake. They were sent out on a US tour almost immediately. Gone was the rickety old bus that had so many memories for Brayden and me. Now they traveled in style on the label’s half a million dollar home on wheels. They had handlers now—people you had to get through just to talk to them. It was overwhelming to me, so I couldn’t imagine how the guys were handling it.

And when the season changed to winter, everything in my life changed.

Nothing ever comes without a price, and the bounty to be paid for Runaway Train’s success was the slow demise of Brayden’s and my relationship. I’d never thought I would have to worry about him changing. He had always been so grounded and so humble. He didn’t have an ounce of ego in him like Jake and AJ. He never cared about wealth—he just wanted to be able to make a living from playing music.

But something happened when he signed on the label’s dotted line. It was like he sold his soul. With me doing my student teaching and working part-time at night, I was so busy that I didn’t notice things at first. The fact that my calls and texts went unanswered and unreturned, or he was always putting me off when I asked for their schedule so I could come spend the weekend with him. When I actually did talk to him, he sounded distant and not like the Brayden who used to talk to me for hours on end. Sometimes he slurred his words and said off the wall things. I began to worry that he was drinking too much.

But then we finally reached the end of the road on Valentine’s weekend.

                                                                      ***

“Hey baby, what are you doing?” Brayden’s voice boomed into my ear.

“Just pulling in the drive.”

“You go to the mailbox yet?”

I laughed. “Since when do you care about me getting the mail?”

“Just check it, Lils.”

“Okay, okay,” I muttered, as I walked over to the mailbox.

“Did you get it?” Brayden questioned, as I flipped through the envelopes.

Cradling the phone on my shoulder, I asked, “Get what exactly?”

“The ticket.”

My breath hitched. “You sent me a ticket?”

“Yeah, to come out here for Valentine’s Day weekend.”

His thoughtfulness caused my heartbeat to shudder and restart.  At the bottom of the pile was a long envelope addressed to me. I couldn’t help squealing.

“I guess that means you got it,” he said, amusement vibrating in his voice.

I tore open the envelope and eyed the plane ticket. “Oh my God, Bray, thank you so, so much!”

“Well, we haven’t spent a Valentine’s Day apart since we’ve been together. I figured we didn’t need to start now. You won’t have a problem getting off that Friday, will you?”

“No, it should be fine.” Pressing the envelope against my chest, I sighed, “I can’t wait to see you.”

“I feel the same way.”

“Don’t plan anything for us to do while I’m there. I just want to spend the entire time with you, preferably in bed.”

Brayden laughed. “As much as I would like to oblige you on that one, I have to attend a party at my label on Saturday night. Wanna be my date?”

I tried hiding my disappointment that I was going to have to share Brayden. “Sure. I’d love to.”

“Great. Listen, I’ll have a driver waiting for you at the airport.”

I laughed. “Seriously? Why don’t you come and get me?”

“Because I have shit to do, Lils. I can’t just drop everything to pick you up.”

His words and his tone stung me. When I could finally speak, I said, “Yeah, sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“So I’ll see you in two weeks?”

“Of course.”

“Bye, Lils.”

“Bye, Brayden. I love you.”

But he didn’t hear me. He had already hung up.

LILY

         
 
THE PAST

I sat in the first class seat Brayden had purchased for me, twirling my engagement ring around my finger. I hadn’t heard from him since our last phone call two weeks ago. Well, he had sent a text this morning asking if I was still coming. I didn’t know if that was more for him or more about the fact he needed to let the driver know.

The entire flight to LA I did nothing but think. I broke apart our relationship into pieces and tried to examine each one to find the flaw. As hard as I tried, I still kept coming up empty. I didn’t know how everything had gone wrong so fast. Part of me worried I was being irrational and overreacting. Relationships weren’t always passion, heat, and devotion twenty-four seven. They went through ups and downs. While Brayden and I hadn’t experienced many ups and downs yet, we were both under a lot of strain in our professional lives. Throw in a separation and that had to cause a little strain in even the strongest of relationships.

When the plane landed at LAX, I grabbed my carryon and headed to the pickup area. Glancing around the drivers with signs, I tried to find the one with my name on it.

“Lily!”

I blinked in shock. Running towards me was Brayden with a dozen roses in his hand. When he got to me, he jerked me into his embrace. “Hey baby!”

The surprise of seeing him rendered me speechless. After what seemed like an eternity, I said, “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah, I pulled some strings to get away.”

His words caused me to smile so hard I thought my cheeks would break. It was like having the old Brayden back. I threw my arms around his neck and brought my lips to his. But the moment we kissed, all my hopes faded. It felt stilted, awkward, and forced. I kept kissing him desperately, searching to find that spark we once had. But no matter how hard I tried, it wasn’t there. While I wanted to blame it on the separation, deep down I knew something fundamentally was wrong, and it scared me to death. 

When he pulled away, I had to fight the tears that threatened to overflow my cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“They’re happy tears because I’m just so glad to see you,” I lied.

He laughed. “You always were so cheesy and dorky.”

Before I could stop myself, I countered, “If I remember correctly, we both used to be cheesy and dorky.”

“Glad I got rid of it,” he replied. He took my bag from me. “Come on. Let’s get you to the house.”

With a heart that was slowly breaking in two, I followed in step behind him. “Wait until you see this place, Lils. It’s fucking off the charts,” Brayden said, as the driver held open the chauffeured driven Lincoln Town Car.

“I didn’t know you had bought a house,” I said, cautiously.

“It’s the labels. They have different artists there while they’re recording their albums. You wouldn’t believe some of the other bands who have stayed there from time to time.”

“That’s nice.”

Brayden snorted. “Just nice? It’s on the water in Venice Beach for fuck’s sake. I’d say that was a hell of lot better than nice.”

Once again, I felt a piece of my heart fall away. The old Brayden wouldn’t have been impressed with a house on the beach. He loved the mountains and the backwoods where he had grown up. It’s the one thing that had originally endeared him to Jake because he and Jake shared the same passion.

Brayden didn’t say much else to me during the drive. He fielded some calls on his phone while I stared out the window. I’d never been to Los Angeles, least of all California before, so I should have been more excited about seeing everything. But I just couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.

When we arrived at the house, I couldn’t help feeling even more overwhelmed. It was a mansion more than it was a house. It had a sleek, modern design, and almost wall to wall windows to take in the views. “It’s something, isn’t it?” Brayden asked.

“It sure is.”

He took my hand and led me up the walk and into the house. I had assumed even with the other guys at the house that Brayden and I would have some private time to talk and reconnect. The moment we entered the house, we were surrounded by people. Scanning the room, I searched for a familiar face, but I didn’t see one. “My room is at the end of the hall. I know you’ve had a long flight, so why don’t you go take a shower and rest?” Brayden suggested.

“Um, okay.” I thought he might show me to his room himself, but he started talking to a tall, dark-haired guy with tortoise shell glasses. Taking a deep breath, I rolled my suitcase behind me as I went down the hall. The door on the right swung open, revealing Jake in some swim trunks. His eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of me. “Hey, Jake!” I said, a little over-enthusiastically. Since Brayden’s and my engagement, things had become tense between Jake and me, but in spite of all that, I couldn’t help but feel glad to see him.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, as he crossed his arms over his chest.

I shrank a little at his tone. “Brayden invited me for Valentine’s Day weekend.”

“How sweet of him,” he said, sarcastically.

“I thought so.”

“Yeah, well, have fun.”

“Thanks.”

He stalked off down the hall, leaving me wondering yet again what his deal was. We had always gotten along so well, even when I was out on tour with them. I couldn’t imagine what had soured his view of me unless it was he felt I was trying to saddle Brayden down with marriage.

When I got inside Brayden’s room, I once again felt the sinking feeling in my stomach along with a tightening in my chest. Nothing in the room looked like him. While the furniture most likely had come with the house, there were no touches of Brayden. Even in his roost on the old bus, he had kept little mementos around to remind him of me, of home, and his family. None of those were here.

Considering how sanitized of personality the room was, I was surprised there was even a picture of us on the nightstand. Abandoning my suitcase, I went to pick it up. It was a double-sided frame. One picture was from the night we got engaged when AJ had taken a pic of us when we were kissing on top of the Ferris wheel. The other one was of us Homecoming night when I had been crowned queen. Brayden wasn’t a part of the court, but he had met me as I came off the field. With roses in my arms and my glittering tiara on my head, I’d run into his open arms. The yearbook photographer had captured the moment when I pulled back and stared into Brayden’s eyes. We both had such expressions of love on our faces.

I swept my hand over my heart, trying to ease the ache burning in my chest. I felt like I was in a deranged fairy tale where our once happily ever after had turned so very sour. Willing myself not to cry, I grabbed a fresh outfit out of my suitcase and then trudged into the bathroom. I hoped the shower might make me feel better, but it didn’t. After I finished, I wrapped myself in one of the silky robes hanging on the back of the door. With my hair wet, I went out onto the porch that ran the length of the house.

After staring out at the ocean for what felt like an eternity, Brayden’s strong arms came around my waist. “Mmm, you smell nice,” he murmured, in my ear.

“Thank you.”

“Sorry I had to take care of some shit.”

“It’s okay.”

His hand trailed up my stomach to cup my breast. “I’ve missed you so fucking much, Lily.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

As he pinched my hardened nipple, his teeth grazed along my neck. “Wanna go inside?”

I nodded and then let him lead me back into the bedroom. For the next three hours, we tumbled through the sheets, rolled around on the floor, and splashed water around in the Jacuzzi tub. The more I was with him physically, the more I began to slowly feel a more emotional connection to him.

My heart and mind felt even more at ease when he refused the invitation from AJ to accompany him and the guys to a club opening. Instead, we stayed at the house, eating Chinese take-out and watching goofball comedies. It felt just like old times.

Just before midnight, he took me for a walk along the beach. Hand in hand we walked along the cool sand, letting the waves lap against our ankles. Then we stripped down and made love on the beach by a secluded dune. On the way back to the house, he stopped to kiss me in the moonlight. “I love you,” he said.

“I love you, too.”

And in that moment, everything was right and perfect between us.

LILY

 
THE PAST

I yawned. “Good morning.”

Brayden laughed. “Try afternoon, sleepyhead.”

After I shot up in bed, I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was twelve-thirty. “Oh no!” I moaned.

“What’s the matter?”

Untangling myself from the sheets, I replied, “You shouldn’t have let me sleep so long.”

“Why? I figured you needed the rest.”

“I don’t have that much time with you, so I don’t want to waste a minute.”

“Sounds like you’ve been missing me pretty badly,” he mused.

“Of course, I have.” I brought my hand to his face and rubbed my thumb along his jaw. “I love you so, so much. I hate to have to spend any time away from you.”

“I love you, too.” Jerking the sheet away from my breasts, he grinned. “Now why don’t you show me just how much you’ve missed me?”

“I can do that,” I replied

“I’m glad to hear it.” He then pushed me onto my back on the mattress.

                                                                                    ***

After I showed Brayden how much I’d loved him to the tune of two orgasms for him and three for me, I slipped into the shower. Any other apprehensions I had about his feelings for me faded away when he brought me a tray of bagels, croissants, and fruit to the bedroom. Bundled in a robe, I chowed down on the feast before me.

“I have a surprise for you,” he said.

“You do?” I questioned through a mouth of jelly-filled croissant.

“Remember how I said there was a party for my label tonight?”

The bite of croissant I swallowed lodged in my throat. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Well, I gave our assistant your size and asked her to find you a dress for tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want you to have to worry about getting a dress before you left. But more than anything, I wanted a dress you would feel comfortable in out here. I know how you feel about fitting in.”

And with those words, the happy little bubble of my day burst. “You mean you were worried about me not fitting in,” I countered softly.

He scowled at me. “That’s not it at all, Lils. I just wanted to get you something nice. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing.” I then forced a smile to my face. “I haven’t had a new party dress in a long time.”

He grinned and went over to the closet. He took out a garment bag and then unzipped it. “What do you think?”

It was a nightmare—both the dress itself and the world I found myself in. It was short, and I knew from the material it would be skin tight on me. With the cutouts on the halter top, it would be showing a lot of cleavage too. While I’m sure it cost a fortune and had a famous designer’s name attached to it, it wasn’t me, and Brayden should’ve known that.

“That’s some dress,” I finally managed to say.

“I know, right? Fuck, Lils, you’re going to look so hot in this tonight.”

“Thanks,” I murmured.

He glanced at the clock. “We’ve got a few hours before we have to get ready. What do you want to do?”

“We could recreate last night with the movies.”

His brows furrowed. “You’ve never been to LA before, and you want to stay holed up here on a gorgeous day?”

I shrugged. “I just want to spend time with you.”

“I think we can do that and see some of the sites.” He jerked his chin at the bathroom. “Go get dressed, and we’ll go for a ride.”

“Okay,” I agreed, although I would have much rather just stayed in with him.

After throwing on some shorts and a T-shirt, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and went to meet Brayden. He ushered me into the garage where a sleek, black Aston Martin convertible sat. “Oh my God, is this yours?”

“No, it’s the label’s. But it’s ours to drive as long as we’re staying at the house.”

“That’s amazing.”

“Wait until you feel how it rides.”

I slid onto the seat and buckled up. Brayden revved the engine, and then backed us out of the garage. Once we got on the main road, I knew exactly what he was talking about with the car’s ride. He drove me around some of the other parts of Venice Beach. Then we went to Hollywood. We strolled along the Walk of Fame and checked out the footprints at Grauman’s Chinese Theater.

While I had initially wanted to stay in, I had so much fun being out with Brayden. It felt like the past when we were exploring Atlanta together during our first year of college. Of course, the one thing that was different this time was Brayden being recognized by people. He got stopped three times for his autograph.

On the drive back to Venice Beach, we were both quiet. Brayden finally turned to me and smiled. “What are you thinking about?”

“Just about how much things have changed in the last few months.”

“For the better right?”

I shifted in my seat. “It’s much better for the band,” I replied.

Brayden frowned. “What are you not saying?”

Folding my hands in my lap, I sighed. “You don’t think things have been different between us?”

“I guess so. I mean, we’re both very busy right now.”

“I know that. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“You’re different.”

He snorted. “Yeah, I guess I am. That’s what happens when a nobody becomes somebody.”

I couldn’t help cringing at his words. “You were never a nobody, Brayden.”

“In the industry I was. Now that’s all changed.”

“But it shouldn’t change you,” I protested.

Gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, Brayden said, “You can’t expect me to be the same person I was, Lily. People change as they mature and then when life puts them on a different path. I sacrificed a hell of lot to get where I am. Now that I’m here, I want to enjoy it. If that means partying or drinking harder than I used to, then I’m going to do it.”

“I see,” I murmured.

Brayden took his eyes off the road to momentarily pin me with a stare. “What are you getting at exactly? That I’m not the man you fell in love with or some bullshit?”

“No, that’s not it at all. You know I love you. It’s just hard for me since you’ve changed.”

“Sounds like it’s time you did a little changing.”

“So I can fit in better with you now?”

“Yeah.”

Hurt pierced my chest at his callousness. “Sure. I can try.”

“Glad to hear it.” To signal that the conversation was done, he reached over and turned on the radio. We didn’t talk the rest of the drive. When we pulled up at the house, I eased out of the car and headed inside. “We got about an hour before the car comes to pick us up. So get cracking on making yourself presentable,” Brayden said, with a grin.

“We couldn’t have me looking unpresentable, could we? That would be too mortifying,” I replied, before I stalked off to the bedroom.

I locked myself in the bathroom. I took another shower before I did my hair and makeup. When it was time to slide on the dress, I had to fight the urge to rip it to shreds. I hated the damn thing and everything it represented. But instead, I put it on. Standing in front of the mirror, I saw I had achieved just what Brayden wanted. I had transformed myself into an acceptable date for a desirable rock star like him to be seen with.