Melody of Truth (Love of a Rockstar Book 3) (5 page)

“Thanks,” I whispered as I watched him disappear behind the curtains to the bunk area.

MELODY WAS ENGAGED. A PART
of me was relieved; though it didn’t tamper the draw I felt toward her, I had a rule against stepping on another man’s turf—a rule I honored, especially after getting cheated on by my ex-wife. I wouldn’t wish that kind of betrayal on anyone.

The relief was mixed in with equal parts disappointment, though it didn't temper the draw I felt toward her. Melody Carmichael was a gem and if the circumstances had been different, or if I hadn’t been coming off the heels of a divorce, we could have had a lot of fun together—in bed and out.

Our balding middle-aged driver Harold slammed on the brakes. We jerked forward as the bus came to a complete stop in front of a Motel 6.

“Are you trying to kill us?” Ash screamed.

“I’m not that lucky,” Harold shot back.

We all snickered as Noah said, “You got burned bro.”

Acting as our pseudo tour manager, Matthew whistled loudly to gather our attention. When our eyes landed on him, he treated the small strip of walkway as a podium.

“Ash, Noah, Sean, and I get the bunks. Melody is staying in room four-oh-three and Harold is in four-oh-two. All clear?”

“All clear,” we echoed.

“Ok, sound check is in about two hours. Eat, take a nap.” He looked intentionally at Ash. “Shower.”

“Hey, I don’t smell,” he contested. Taking a whiff of his armpits, his nose wrinkled. “Never mind.”

“Any questions?” At our silence, Matthew gestured for Harold to open the doors. “All right, you’re free.” As I was about to step off the bus, he called me back in. “Sean, can we talk for a moment?”

I shot a longing look outside where the smell of freshly cut grass and exhaust fumes permeated the air. My plans for the break included a beer and a hamburger as large as my face, but I figured it could wait. “Sure.”

Once everyone filed off, Matthew gestured for me to take a seat across from him. “I promise this will be quick so you can enjoy some free time before the concert.”

“What’s up?”

“Melody.”

“Melody?” I repeated, baffled. “What about her? Do you already want to fire her?”

“Getting an earful from Luke wouldn’t be worth it and besides that, she is talented as fuck, so no I don’t want to fire her. I’m talking about Melody and you.”

“There isn’t a Melody and me.”

“You guys looked awful friendly when you were talking earlier.”

Annoyance nipped at my nerves at Matthew’s invasiveness. “If you really need to know—which you don’t because it’s none of your business—we were discussing our careers and her upcoming marriage.” Unlike I had, he didn’t appear blindsided by the news. “You already knew.”

“I did, which is why I wanted to put a lid on anything before it began.”

“You’re my friend and bandmate, not my official cock blocker.”

“Trust me, I’m all for you getting your dick sucked, but we don’t need drama on this tour and drama is exactly what will happen if you get entangled with Melody. We need focus and dedication. Luke left us high and dry, and I understand that family comes first, but my music career isn’t over, it’s just beginning. I hired you as my drummer because you are the best, so go find a townie or a groupie if you have an itch to scratch.”

My year-long stretch of celibacy hadn’t compromised my priorities—music came first, women second. A lecture from Matthew about where my head should be wasn’t needed. “Your worries are unwarranted. Tonight’s concert will be one for the books.”

Doubt shone in his gaze. “Speaking from experience, an orgasm sharpens your concentration. We can find a quick lay for you in one of the local bars…”

“Yea and where we would go? There isn’t a stitch of privacy on this bus.”

“Dude, there are plenty of places to get sideways if you’re creative. Camilla and I once did it on the back of a tractor.”

“TMI.”

Slapping me good-naturedly on the back, Matthew chuckled. “You’re such a prude. Let loose and live.”

“I would rather stay STD free, thank you.”

“Whatever man. You better drum your heart out tonight or else I’m going to force you to drop trow and stick a woman’s mouth on your cock.”

“I can’t count how many friendship boundaries you’re crossing.”

“You would thank me after.”

“No I wouldn’t,” I argued vehemently. “I really, truly would not thank you.”

AS I BEAT ON MY
kit with a feverish intensity, sweat soaked my bare chest. The audience roared and I fed off their energy. Matthew’s smoky voice carried across the stage as he cradled the microphone like a lover. As he hit the final note of “Broken Lullabies”, the women went wild. A pair of panties landed at his feet along with a chorus of I love you’s. Ash’s wailing guitar echoed in the expansive space and cut off abruptly, signaling the end of our first concert.

We rose from our instruments and waved to the crowd as they chanted for an encore. With huge smiles on our faces, we exited stage left.

“Dude! We fucking killed it!” Ash screamed, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Did you see that one woman’s tits? They were huge!” Noah demonstrated with his hands. “I can’t believe she threw her bra off like that.”

Matthew attempted to act nonchalant, but we could tell he wanted to throw glitter in the air and declare his first concert as a solo artist a success—and it really had been. Melody appeared and captured the infectious excitement in the air.

“Hey Matthew, do you have time for an interview?” she asked without lowering the camera.

“Sure. Let’s go back to my dressing room where it’s quieter.”

They walked down the long narrow hallway, leaving the rest of us behind. I mopped my face with a towel and went to go enjoy a shower beer. My bandmates, aware of my post-show ritual, wandered off to find a smidgen of fun in the small town.

When I opened the bus door, my steps faltered at the sight of a woman sitting cross-legged on the couch. Her posture perked up when she laid her sights on me. She shifted her hair over her shoulder and interest gleamed in her gaze.

“How did you get in here?” I asked.

“Your security guard extended the invitation to come back here.”

“From who?”

Confusion tilted her head sideways. “From you, supposedly.”

Matthew. He must have spotted her in the crowd and taken matters into his own hands. That asshole. I didn’t need a quick fuck in order to be at my best on stage, as evidenced by the performance I had just delivered.

A warm blush crawled up the woman’s throat. “Shit, this is so embarrassing. I never do this.” She shifted in her seat at my disbelieving stare. “I’m serious, I don’t. Blame it on reading too many romance novels and an urge to extract revenge on my ex.”

Since she seemed genuine, the ice around my heart thawed. “What’s your name?”

“Jenny.”

“Please tell me you’re over twenty-one.”

She laughed. “I’m twenty-three.”

When I sat down next to her, the interest in her eyes sparked to life again. I didn’t know if I would strip off her dress and stick my face between her thighs, teasing her to orgasm with my tongue, but I did know it sounded tempting. Jenny traced the slopes of her breast with her finger. Fuck did it sound tempting.

“Do you want a beer?” I grabbed two from the mini fridge, handed one to her, and reclaimed my spot. I took a long swallow before I spoke again. “So why did your boyfriend break up with you?”

“He found someone else.”

“Ah. Isn’t that always the case?”

“It was my sister.” She toyed with the wrapper around the beer bottle. “I walked in on them making out and you know what he said? ‘I thought you were supposed to be home later.’”

“What did you do?”

“I threw my five-inch stiletto at his forehead.” At my chuckle, she lifted her chin and flashed a smile tinted with heartbreak. “He had a welt for a week.”

“The asshole got off easy in my opinion.”

Jenny’s amber eyes studied me. “I thought this would go differently.”

“How so?”

“I thought you would walk in here and accept what I was offering.”

“I like to get know a woman first, at least a little bit.”

After setting her beer on the ground, she stood up and slid the straps of her dress off her shoulders. The material pooled on the ground around her feet. Clad in nothing but a black lacy bra and a matching pair of underwear, Jenny bit her plump bottom lip.

“Do you feel like you know me well enough now?”

It seemed stupid to pass up this opportunity just because I wanted a fantasy, which was what Melody was and would remain. Jenny was offering me an escape without any strings attached, and what kind of man what I would be if I turned her down?

Her pupils darkened with lust as I loomed above her. I tipped my beer bottle, dribbling beer onto her breasts.

She moaned as I licked it off her skin. “Mmmm.”

I grabbed her ass and ordered her to be quiet. Jenny obliged and I rewarded her with a slap on her left buttock. A red handprint blossomed.

“Get on your knees.” Jenny slid to the floor and looked up, dutifully awaiting the next command. “Undo my belt buckle and suck my cock into your mouth.”

She did as I asked and as she wrapped tongue around my shaft, I closed my eyes and pretended it was Melody’s tongue. As she closed her fingers around the base, I pretended they were Melody’s fingers, and as she pumped forward in rhythm with her mouth, I pretended it was Melody’s silky strands I fisted. Finally, as a powerful orgasm ripped through my body, I almost believed it was Melody moaning in pleasure as my cum coated the back of her throat.

I SHOULD HAVE LOOKED AWAY
—I wasn’t a peeping Tom for god’s sake—but my gaze remained glued on Sean. His head was tilted backward, eyes shut, and face awash with pleasure as a woman kneeled in front of him. Envy hit me in the solar plexus followed by a flood of warmth between my thighs. Witnessing Sean get blown was hotter than any porno I had watched and to my credit, I had watched my fair share—especially since Marco had decided to withhold sex until we got married. He said it helped his creative juices flow, while mine were drying up—literally.

The woman’s head bobbed as she fucked him with her mouth. Sean threaded his fingers through her hair and controlled her speed. Fast, fast, slow, fast. He didn’t strike me as the controlling type in the bedroom but at the thought, I wanted to shove the woman aside and take her place. Hell, I wanted to do that whether he was controlling or not. I wanted him any way he’d give it to me.

The muscles in his jaw tightened and he emitted a low growl. Utter vulnerability cracked the veneer of his facade as he reached the highest peak and came crashing down. A tremor racked his body while the woman continued to lavish him with her tongue, milking the last remnants of his orgasm free.

I silently clicked the door shut before they became aware of my presence. Halfway across the parking lot, I stole another look at the tour bus with an intense sense of longing. Sean and I would never be intimate as long as Marco bore the title of my fiancé. Like I had told my sister, I wasn’t a cheater. I stuck my room key into the lock, opened the door, and threw myself down on the bedspread. As I stared up at the cottage cheese speckled ceiling, my clit throbbed to the point that it was almost painful. I unbuttoned my jeans and my fingers were about to delve inside my underwear when my cellphone buzzed on the side table and snapped me out of my lust-driven fog.

“I lost your ring!” My sister’s panicked voice floated across the phone line. “I don’t know what happened. I put it inside my jewelry box and then when I woke up this morning it was gone.”

“Did you check underneath the bed?”

“Yes!” she snapped. “I checked everywhere.”

“How ‘bout next door?”

“I rigged my bedroom door with a DIY security system. Nobody could have entered last night without making a racket and waking me up in the process.”

Marco had crafted my engagement ring himself from excess scrap metal. It couldn’t be replaced. My sister’s panic leaked into my bloodstream. “Crap! This is bad, really really bad.”

“I know! You shouldn’t have left it in my possession. WAIT!” Muffled static crackled, as if my sister were crawling on the floor. “You little bastard!”

“Did you find it?”

“Yes, it was in the medicine cabinet!”

“What the freak was it doing in there?”

“I might have tried it on last night and I might have been admiring myself in the mirror, pretending I was a rich and famous writer with a handsome hubby.”

I laughed. “Any kids?”

“Two. Francis and Bebee.”

My sister had a wide reaching imagination, which quite frequently got in the way of her schoolwork, but as long as she maintained a GPA higher than a 3.0, she could daydream to her heart’s content.

“Next time, put the ring back where it belongs. I can’t keep getting these panicked phone calls while I’m on the job,” I said.

“Yes mom. Are you on the job right now? It’s almost ten o’clock at night.”

“They are musicians, they don’t keep normal hours—but no, I’m in my hotel room.”

“Doing what? Twiddling your thumbs?”

I had been about to twiddle something else entirely. After buttoning my jeans back up, I sat upright against the headboard and banished the image of Sean in the throes of an orgasm. It wouldn’t do me any favors.

“I was thinking about getting a bite to eat, but everything around here either has meat or is fried.”

“One burger wouldn’t kill you.”

After witnessing cows getting inhumanely slaughtered at a plant in Kentucky for my documentary
Blood and Grass
, my stomach turned at the sight of raw beef.

“I’ll run out to the supermarket after we’re done talking. Hopefully it’s still open.” Glancing out the window, I saw the small town was blanketed in darkness. My chances of going to bed hungry were high. “How’s school?”

“Fine. How’re the hunky musicians?”

“They had their first concert tonight and the crowd went wild for them. A woman even threw her panties onto the stage. It was nuts.”

“Can you blame her? Matthew practically has sex with the audience when he sings. All that hip grinding…” My sister let out a low whistle. “It’s hotter than Hades.”

I had to wonder how Matthew’s girlfriend felt about his performance. She seemed to have a truckload of self-confidence so it probably didn’t bother her, and also, anyone with a pair of eyes could see he looked at Camilla as if she held the universe in her palm.

“Where you off to next?” my sister asked.

“Phoenix, Arizona.”

“Long drive.”

After chatting some more about frivolous topics, we hung up and I slid on my flip-flops. Twin Falls had to have a convenience mart open.

As I locked the door, a low grumbly voice that belonged to a certain sexy rocker spoke up behind me. “Hey.”

I glanced over my shoulder at his shadowed form. “Hey.”

Sean stepped under the glow of the streetlight, hands tucked in his pockets with a shy smile decorating his face. My heart flipped. I had thought he would still be entertaining his guest.

Turning to face him, I asked, “What’s going on?”

“I wasn’t sure if you needed to interview me.”

“Nope. I got the material I needed.”

And then some. Sean didn’t exude the easy relaxed nature of a man who had gotten a blowjob a mere twenty minutes ago. If I hadn’t known better, I would have said he was nervous. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. Are you going somewhere?”

“The convenience store in search of dinner.”

“Fat Smitty’s is open.”

“I’m a vegetarian and I’m guessing based upon the name, there will be very few options for me there.”

Sean’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “You’re vegetarian?”

“For the past five years. Why the disbelief? There are plenty of people who don’t eat animal products.”

“True. I’m not sure if Fat Smitty’s has veggie burgers, but we can check.”

I grinned. Sean had invited himself without asking if I wanted him to come with me—typical rock star. “You don’t have any other plans?”

“Nope.”

“What about that girl I saw come out of the tour bus?”

Sean blinked rapidly at me. “What girl?”

“Blonde hair, legs like an ostrich.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wasn’t on the tour bus earlier. She must have been with Ash. He has a tendency to hook up with random chicks.”

For some reason, Sean didn’t want me to think of him in the vein of man-whore extraordinaire, as if it were something to be ashamed of. “I would too if I were him.”

“You would?”

“Of course. Getting a woman to come back to your house to have sex is freaking hard and requires hours of coaxing and wooing. If you are a musician with fame in your arsenal to boot, all you have to do is wave your magic wand.”

Sean cut in. “Is
magic wand
a euphemism for penis?”

“Do you really think waving your penis would make a woman shed her clothes? Or would she run to the nearest police station to report you as a pervert?”

“Option B.”

“Correct. Anyway, all I’m saying is you guys have a rare power. You might as well use it.”

“Matthew and Ash would agree with you.”

I noticed he didn’t lump himself in with them. “You wouldn’t?”

“I don’t know.” Sean’s gaze drifted over my shoulder to an unknown point in the distance. “I don’t know much about anything any more. Who I am—or think I am—is currently in flex.”

“Because of your divorce?” His silence was enough of an answer. “I understand. After my mom died, I went through the same existential crisis.”

Sean lowered his eyes to meet mine; they were shadowed with sympathy, and for once I didn’t mind. It was the hoverers and the high-pitched talkers that rubbed me the wrong way. They didn’t give a shit my mom had died; they just wanted gossip to spill.

As we walked, the night air caressed my bare feet, sending a chill skittering up my spine. Wearing sandals in winter wasn’t the bright idea, but I was too lazy to change so Sean and I drifted toward Fat Smitty’s.

“When did she pass?” he asked.

“A week before my twentieth birthday. She had a rare form of cancer. One minute she was healthy and laughing, the next she was bedridden and knocking on death’s door.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” I switched the spotlight onto him. “Are your parents together?”

“They are, and they’re ridiculously in love.”

“You’re lucky.”

“I am, but it also set an incredibly high standard to live up to.”

“Would it be better if they had set the bar lower?”

“Kind of.” A deep belly laugh that warmed me from the tip of my ears to my toes escaped. “Yeah it would. Then at least I wouldn’t have felt like such a failure when my marriage ended.”

“How are you a failure? Your wife is the one who shacked up with her yoga teacher—which is mighty cliché, I might add.”

“I put the gears in motion. If I hadn’t put my career above her needs…”

The sentence petered out but I easily filled in the blank. He was under the assumption that his passion for music had ruined the marriage. “Are you still in love with her?”

“No, and I haven’t been for quite a while. It took walking in on her and her lover to make me realize that. However, the betrayal still stung like a son of a bitch.”

A staggering amount of relief flooded my bloodstream, which was odd because it shouldn’t have mattered if he was still in love or not. “Do you regret marrying her?”

Sean’s gaze cut over to mine as he smiled. “What is this? Twenty questions?”

“Sorry. My curiosity can get the better of me.”

“No worries. I’m an open book.” He looked beyond the horizon as he said, “Even if I’d had foresight and knew the ugly end to my relationship with my ex-wife, it wouldn’t have stopped me from taking those vows with her. While we didn’t end up dying from old age, hands clasped together, we still managed to have a few amazing years that I wouldn’t trade for anything.”

The cynic inside me didn’t believe Sean was truly that much of a romantic. Why the hell would you willingly hand over your heart on a silver platter to get butchered? Unless…

“Are you a sadist?”

His mouth tipped into a grin. “I’m a man who believes you can’t walk into a relationship assuming the worst. You have to believe things will work out or else what’s the point? Might as well be alone.”

“The point is that when shit does hit the fan—because it will, it always does—then you aren’t standing there like a dumbass thinking what the hell just happened? By expecting the worst, you minimize the damage.”