Melt Into You (25 page)

TWENTY-THREE

Evan stormed into the house, seeing red. How she’d managed
to drive home without breaking every traffic rule in the book was a miracle. Her knuckles ached from gripping the steering wheel so hard.
How dare he?
How dare Daniel talk to her like that, break her camera, throw a fucking hissy fit like he was her real lover?

She shoved open the door to Daniel’s office, the heavy wooden door hitting the wall with a loud thud. Both Daniel and Marcus jerked their heads up from what they were viewing on Daniel’s computer screen. Daniel rose from behind his desk. “Evan—”

“What in the hell was that?” she demanded, cutting him off.

Daniel’s fist hit the desk. “You’re asking
me
that? You were the one fucking your brains out with some stranger in front of a goddamned camera.”

Marcus stepped around the desk and sat in a chair on the opposite side, obviously wanting out of the line of fire.

She threw her hands out to her sides. “And what the hell difference does that make? You wanted me to find a lover. I did.”

“At a club. A private club where no one would see you.”

“He’s from the club. And no one saw us except
you
.”

Daniel turned, ripped a page from his printer, and slammed it down on the desk. “Tonight. But what about when you decided to screw Jace Austin? You know who saw you then?” His booming voice rattled her eardrums. “Somebody with a goddamned hi-res camera!”

She stared down at the photo he’d laid out on the desk, her profile coming into focus. Her skirt hiked up her thighs, head tipped back in pleasure, Jace’s hand between her legs. Jace’s face was obscured by the thin metal railings of the balcony, but there was no denying the clarity with which they’d captured her own visage. She gasped, her hand going to her mouth. “How did you get that?”

“The gossip site that’s running the story tomorrow sent me a heads-up. An anonymous source sold them the picture. They haven’t figured out who the guy in the picture is yet—though Marcus could tell right away—but there’s no denying it’s you. They wanted to know if I had a statement.” He sank into his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jesus, Evan. The newspapers will pick up on it after that.”

“Daniel, I—I don’t know what to say. I thought the balcony was private.”

He glanced up. “How could you be so careless? This could blow up
everything
.”

Her stomach flipped over as she found her way into the chair next to Marcus. “I’m so sorry.”

Marcus put a hand on her knee and squeezed. “Take a breather. Both of you. This isn’t a done deal yet. We just have to spin this. Make it work for us instead of against us.”

“And how do we do that?” Daniel snapped. “I’m supposed to be the fucking relationship doctor!”

“Calm down, Danny,” Marcus said, eyeing Daniel with what Evan now recognized as the look of a dominant giving his sub an order. “People in relationships cheat sometimes. It happens. So we have Evan admit that she’s made a mistake. You admit that with all the travel, you’ve been neglecting your own relationship. And then you both talk about how you are committed to each other and are going to work it out.”

“Wait a second,” Evan said, her eyes widening. “
I
have to be painted as a cheater.”

Marcus’s brows furrowed. “Well, of course. There’s no other way.”

She looked from him to Daniel with disbelief. “Oh, yes there is. Like we have an open relationship. Or, I don’t know, how ’bout some honesty for a change and you tell people you’ve discovered you prefer men.”

“Absolutely not.”

“No!”

Both men shut her down in unison, and she wanted to knock their heads together.

“Evan, I can’t do that,” Daniel said, his tone lowering from pissed to pleading. “People aren’t going to accept either one of those. I’ll lose all but my most liberal of fans. Everyone else will write us off. We’ll lose the TV deal before we can even blink.”

“So instead we’ll just sacrifice my reputation? Make me out to be the whore who cheated on my oh-so-perfect fiancé?”

“I’ll take the blame for neglecting you. Talk about how sometimes cheating is a couple’s problem, not just the individual who strayed.” He reached for her hand across the desk. “Sweets, I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need you to go along with this. Don’t kill our future before we even get started. Will you do this for me?”

She stared down at his offered hand, her insides twisting into a sickening knot. Daniel had saved her once upon a time. Had protected her with unwavering ferocity when they were on the streets. The reason she’d never been raped, beaten, or killed while they were out there was because of him. The big brother she’d never had.

How many times had he taken a fist to the jaw on her behalf? Or worse . . .

Besides her mother, he’d been the only one who’d ever been truly loyal to her. The only one to always be there no matter what. She inhaled a deep breath and laid her hand in his open palm. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Both Marcus and Daniel seemed to sag in their chairs with relief. Daniel laced his fingers with hers. “Thank you, Evan. This means everything to me.”

She sighed. “Just tell me what I need to say and do.”

“We’re not going to make you do the talking. I don’t want to make you lie blatantly on camera. We’re going to send you to a hotel for a few days until the initial flash of interest burns out.” Marcus flipped over the picture, which was still lying face up on the desk. He tapped it. “And you need to let Jace Austin know that his affiliation with this company—and with you—is over, effective immediately.”

She pulled her hand from Daniel’s, her full attention switching to Marcus. “What?”

He frowned. “We can’t very well have him associated with the book or show in case he’s identified as the guy you were sleeping with. And you certainly can’t continue any contact with him. The press will be watching you like a hawk.”

The room suddenly felt twenty degrees colder and like all the air had been sucked out of it. No more Jace? Ever? And his business . . . “You can’t pull the affiliation. Jace’s store is depending on it.”

“He should’ve thought of that before he fucked my fiancée,” Daniel snapped.

She smacked her hand flat against the desk. “You gave us fucking permission, Daniel! He’s a member of The Ranch.” She wet her lips. “And . . .”

Daniel’s eyes narrowed. “And what, Evan?”

“And we have a past.”

“What are you talking about?” Daniel leaned forward, elbows on the table.

“He was the one, Daniel. The one I loved. The one I ran from. . . .”

Awareness dawned over Daniel’s face. “The guy who got you pregnant?”

She nodded. “He doesn’t know about that part though.”

“Christ,” Marcus groaned. “This could really blow up if the press finds out who he is and digs that far into either of your pasts.”

Fear curled over her spine.
No
 . . .

“The name change should protect you for now. And your foster care records are confidential. If we can smooth all this over quickly, no one will have any reason to delve deeper.” Daniel rolled his chair back from his desk and stood in a huff. “Go pack a bag. And get rid of Jace, Evan. Tonight.”

“But his business is going to suffer, and if they figure out who he is, he’ll look like a homewrecker,” she protested. “He doesn’t deserve either of those.”

“Karma’s a bitch,” Daniel said on his way out the door. “Maybe he deserves to hurt a little after what he put you through back then.”

She looked back to Marcus, hoping for a different answer, but his expression was resigned. “It’s the only way, sweetie. You were going to have to say good-bye soon anyway.” He stood and patted her shoulder. “What’s the difference if it’s a few weeks early?”

She shook her head. No difference.

She’d always known she’d have to walk away from Jace and Andre. But she never anticipated leaving destruction in her wake. And she never expected it to feel quite like this.

Like her stable existence was breaking apart beneath her feet.

Like she didn’t want to face a tomorrow that didn’t have Jace and Andre in it.

Fuck
.

Panic, sharp and bitter, flooded her, turning her skin clammy and damp. No, she wasn’t this person anymore. And she wasn’t like her father. She didn’t have those kinds of destructive thoughts. She squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms around herself, rocking as the panic charged through her system. Her nails dug deep into her arms, the pain a last-ditch effort to center herself.

She would not get this way. Not again.

She was stronger than this.

Leaving Jace and Andre . . . Would. Not. Break. Her.

She slipped her hand into her pocket, pulling out her phone. Her fingertips were numb as she scrolled through her contacts. He answered on the first ring. “Ev?”

She swallowed past the paralysis trying to claim her throat. “We need to talk.”

TWENTY-FOUR

Evan opened the door, fortifying herself with a deep
breath, and let Jace into the hotel room. The last thing she’d wanted to do was meet with him in such an intimate setting, but she hadn’t had many other options. His loft and anywhere in public was out in case anyone was already watching her. And she definitely wasn’t inviting him over to the place she shared with Daniel. So her hotel hideout for the next few days had been the only option left.

Jace walked past her, hands in his pockets and expression unreadable. She clicked the door shut behind him, but didn’t turn around, her hand frozen on the knob. She could feel his stare burning into her back. How was she supposed to do this? She couldn’t even look at him without wanting to break down and cry.

“A two a.m. invitation to a hotel room is usually a booty call, but somehow I’m guessing that’s not why I’m here,” he said, his voice flat.

Her shoulders sagged. “No, it isn’t.”

“Andre told me about Daniel.”

Ha. The earlier revelation seemed trite compared to what she had to lay on him now. “I figured.”

“Why, Ev? Why are you marrying him?”

His tone was as even as the horizon, but she didn’t miss the little catch in his throat on the last word. The hurt. She turned to face him, her hands gripping her elbows as if she could physically hold herself together. “He’s . . . my best friend. I love him.”

He leaned against the desk. “Like you used to love me?”

She jerked her gaze away from his, tears already threatening to fall. “You know that’s not the same thing. Daniel and I— It works. Okay?”

“No. It’s not okay,” he said, his dominant side seeping into his tone. “You won’t convince me that you’re better off in some sexless marriage. Not when I’ve seen how you come apart with me and Andre. You deserve everything a relationship has to offer.”

She swallowed hard, gathering her strength again and trying to ignore the pang of want his words had caused. “Someone took pictures of us on the balcony, Jace. They’re being released tomorrow.”

He hissed out a breath. “What? Who?”

She dared a glance at him. “I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. I’m the only one identified in the picture. If we end this now, you’ll probably go undetected.”

“End this?”

“Yes.” She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans and moved away from the door. He had propped himself against the small desk in the room, so she perched on the foot of the bed—as far away from him as possible. “I’m going to admit to cheating on Daniel. Tell everyone we’re working it out.”

His eyes widened. “You’re going to fucking do
what
?” He pushed off the desk and rose to his full height. “Ev, no way. I don’t care how good of a friend Daniel is, you’re not going to ruin your own reputation just to save his chickenshit ass from stepping out of the closet and owning who he is.”

She clasped her hands in front of her, focused on her engagement ring. “You don’t understand. I owe him.” She peeked at Jace from under her lashes. “He was the boy on the bridge that day. And the one who protected me every day after that.”

Jace winced as he collapsed into the desk chair and raked his hands through his already disheveled hair. “Fuck.”

“He saved me and I promised myself I would help him achieve his dream. He would’ve never gotten to where he is if people knew he was gay.” She sighed. “And this offers me what I’ve never had. Stability. A guarantee that I won’t ever go back to how things were before.”

“Stability?” he scoffed. “At what cost, Ev? Is the money worth giving up a chance at real love? At being with a man . . .” He paused, wet his lips. “Or men who can give you everything you need without all the fine print.”

She looked away. “Sex isn’t love, Jace.”

“Don’t throw that bullshit out at me. Believe me, I know the difference.” He rose from the chair and crossed the room to squat in front of her. His large hands closed around her shaking ones. “And I know what I feel for you. What I want with you.”

Tears welled, and she clamped her eyelids shut.

He continued on. “I can’t compete with major TV deals, but it’s not like I can’t pay my bills. Even if the store were to fold tomorrow, I could go back to a finance job with a simple phone call.”

She shook her head. “It’s not about the money.”

“Then what?”

“I can’t turn my back on him. Daniel was there for me.” She bit her bottom lip.

His hands slipped from hers, his tone cooling. “When I wasn’t? Is that it?”

That wasn’t it at all, but she saw the door open, the way to push him away and save both of them. “I need someone I can count on. A sure thing.”

Jace stood, his arms crossed and his expression hard. “Right.”

“We’ve had a good time, but I’m just part of a game for you and Andre. One of your dalliances.” She almost stopped when she saw him flinch like she’d slapped him, but she forced herself to keep on. “How many other girls at The Ranch have been between you two? How long do you give them before you get bored and move on to the next?”

“You know you’re more than that to me,” he said stiffly.

She smirked. “You’ve been with me a month, Jace. One. Month. You’re ready to give up threesomes, settle down, have a nice little suburban life?”

His cheeks tinged red. “I don’t fucking know, Evan. This is all new to me, too, all right? All I know is Andre and I both . . .”

Her heart squeezed, her breath catching. Andre and Jace both what? She couldn’t decide if she longed to hear the words or wanted to stick her fingers in her ears and hum.

He stalked toward her and planted a hand on each side of her on the bed, not touching her but close enough to make her lean back. His muscles bunched with tension beneath his T-shirt as if he were fighting the urge to grab and shake her. He lowered his face level with hers, meeting her eyes. “You know what? Never mind. You’re right. Why would you want what we have to offer? Instead you can have your nice little manufactured fairy tale. The successful husband who looks like he dotes on your every word, the money to buy you whatever you want, and the guarantee that you’ll never get hurt. Because it’s . . .
Not. Fucking. Real
.”

The last three words lashed her like whip strokes. She struggled to catch a breath—his accusation, his hulking presence, God, his heat, all sending her brain into control-alt-delete mode. Her body, despite her mind’s protests, responded to his nearness, her nipples becoming tight points beneath her thin T-shirt. “Jace.”

His name came out as a plea, but she wasn’t sure if she was pleading for him to go or to stay.

His gaze flicked downward, heated. “Take off your jeans.”

Her focus snapped back like a rubber band. “What? No, we can’t—”

He pushed off the bed, straightening to his full six feet. “I’m not going to ask again, sub. You promised me another month. If you’re going to break your agreement, then you at least owe me tonight.”

Her tongue turned to sandpaper—the dominant tone, the beauty of him standing before her, the love she felt for him almost too much to bear. She closed her eyes, fighting the pulse of desire beating low in her belly. “Jace, please.”

He gripped her arm and hauled her to her feet, causing her to gasp in shock. His fingers found the button of her jeans, unfastened them, then yanked her pants down her legs. His rough handling should’ve scared her, should’ve made her want to run. This couldn’t happen. But she couldn’t will herself to move. Could only watch him. Wanting him.

He rose and grasped her chin in his hand. “If you’re going to say it, say it now, sub.”

The safe word. She knew what he was asking. But the word wouldn’t form on her lips.

He released her. “On your knees.”

Her leg muscles seemed to collapse without her conscious will, making her land hard on the carpet.

He sat on the bed and spread his legs wide. She thought he was going to have her go down on him, but instead he dragged her over his lap, belly down. She automatically reached out to steady herself on the floor, but he was quicker. He grasped her wrists and put them at her sides, then banded his arm over her waist, pinning her limbs down in the process.

“You will not move,” he commanded, his voice low and dangerous. His free hand jerked her panties down her thighs and then cupped her heat. She knew what he’d find. He moved his hand away and rubbed his slick fingers along her thigh as if to say,
Your mouth may lie, but your body answers to
me
.

“Jace, don’t do this,” she pleaded, knowing that if he started, she wouldn’t be able to stop him, that her undeniable response to him would take over her better sense.

His palm came down hard on her ass, sending stinging pain radiating over her skin. She jerked, but his hold on her didn’t allow much movement.

“You’re breaking an agreement with your dom. There’s a price for that.” He swatted the other cheek, not sparing her any of his strength. She yelped but he didn’t pause. “And I think you need a good solid reminder of what it means to feel something.”

He smacked the back of her thigh. “What it means to be vulnerable.”

The blows continued, the pain coalescing with the rush of endorphins, making her dizzy and breathless and so desperate for him she had to fight not to beg.

“What it means to not just love somebody but to ache for them.”
Swat!
“To crave them.”
Swat!
“To think about them when they’re not around.”

The tears she’d been fighting all night filled her eyes, dripped onto the carpet.
Jace
. She thought she’d whispered it, but realized no sound had come out.

He hit her again, but this blow didn’t have any ferocity behind it. His hand stilled against her tingling skin. “I love you, goddammit. And I refuse to let you run away from me, convincing yourself that this was all some meaningless fuckfest. Don’t do that to me, Ev. I can’t bear it.”

No longer able to hold back her rioting emotions, her chest bounced with sobs. “I know . . . it’s not . . . I’m sorry.”

His tense leg muscles loosened against her belly.

“Don’t be sorry, baby.” He flipped her over gently and cradled her against him, his own breath coming fast. “Just be honest. We at least owe that to each other.”

“I know.” She buried her face in the curve of his neck. “I love you, too, Jace. I’m not sure I ever stopped.”

His entire body seemed to sigh against her as he ran a hand over her hair. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank God.”

He stood, lifting her with ease, and walked her around the edge of the bed, then set her in the middle of it. Her bottom throbbed against the cool sheets, but that only served to make her body ache for him more. Regardless of everything going on outside of this room, she needed him. On her, around her, inside her. It was no longer an option.

He undressed her with practiced patience, taking care to caress and touch only enough to stoke her embers. A kiss here. A pinch there. Every contact new and different because there wasn’t just lust behind it but love. When she finally lay bare before him, her whole being was vibrating like a tuning fork.

She wanted to plead for him to give her more than just a touch, to fall into bed with her, but she was afraid to speak. Afraid to break the spell weaving around them. Tomorrow her world would fall apart, but right now . . . right now was sacred.

He peeled off his T-shirt and shucked his shoes and jeans, allowing her to drink in the sight of him. His blond hair falling over his eyes, the long, lean body of a swimmer, the intricate tribal tattoo wrapped around his biceps—a bad boy archangel who had already claimed her soul.

He climbed onto the bed and nudged her thighs apart with his knees, parking himself between them. “Have you been with anyone besides me and Andre since you’ve been tested?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Neither have I.” He stroked the back of his knuckles over her clit, a whisper of a touch, but it sent shivers through her. “Are you protected otherwise?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

His finger traced a path around her navel, raising goose bumps. “I want to feel you skin to skin, Ev. You okay with that?”

She closed her eyes, trying to steady her ragged breathing. She could think of nothing she wanted more.

“Yes . . . sir.” She added the last part not because she had to, but because it felt right. She knew she’d never call another lover that. Jace and Andre owned her even if she couldn’t give herself to either of them for good.

He slipped his hands under her knees, lifting her legs and hooking them around his hips. His cock nudged her entrance, the feel of the smooth, bare head making her whimper in need. He rocked his hips forward, sliding into her heat with a groan. “Oh, Ev.”

His body trembled against her as he held himself still inside her. She was still tender from her earlier lovemaking with Andre, but the feel of Jace filling her, no barrier between them, was like having the sweetest, most luscious piece of chocolate melting on her tongue.

“God, you feel like heaven.” He sank onto his forearms, the length of his body pressing against hers, and captured her mouth in a breathless kiss. She tangled her fingers in his hair, letting her ache for him pour into the kiss. His hips slowly began to move, fucking her with his cock as well as his mouth.