Melting Ice (24 page)

“He’s hurting, and he cares, or he wouldn’t react so strongly. He’d be indifferent.” Avery brought up a hand and caressed his cheek.

“You think so?”

“I know so. He’s trying to hurt you like he believes you’ve hurt him.”

Isaac looked out the window at Tanner’s taillights as they faded into the distance. He rubbed his chin, seriously considering Avery’s words. “How’d you get to be so smart?” he joked.

“Dysfunctional family of my own. I’ve seen it all.”

“You haven’t seen anything like my family. Your parents might have neglected you, but they didn’t abuse you.”

“That’s true. They were never parents. They wanted to be our buddies and not to be responsible for us.” Avery kissed his cheek. “You owe me an explanation.”

“I do. Let’s get out of here first.”

They finished with the clean-up, loaded up, and headed home. Emma and Blake went to their respective homes while Isaac and Avery sat on the bench in front of the barn, wrapped in a blanket, and stared at the stars.

Isaac knew the moment of truth had come, and his stomach churned with self-doubt. What if the things he’d done repulsed her? What if she couldn’t reconcile the man he was now with the scared teenager he’d been then?

He guessed there was only one way to find out. He put his arm across her shoulders and tucked her close to him. An image flashed in his mind of the two of them with gray hair and wrinkles sitting on this very bench watching beautiful little blonde girls and naughty dark haired boys chasing each other on the lawn. Isaac blinked a few times. His mind grasped at the image, but it was fleeting and slipped out of his grasp.

Something weird was happening to Isaac. Weird, because, well, he never got these types of feelings about a woman. Sure, he had sexual feelings towards women, but wanting to spend time with them? Talk with them? Hell, watch them ride horses? Now that was completely weird. He even watched one of Avery’s lessons with Hans yesterday. What guy did that unless that guy was completely smitten, wrapped around said woman’s finger, and pussy whipped to boot?

Isaac had never been pussy whipped. Ever in his life.

Yeah, well, that was then, this was—

“Are you okay?” Avery touched his chest.

He nodded, his head reeling as if he’d lost his balance on the ice and was scrambling to get his footing. “I’m—I’m okay.” He’d never seen
forever
before. At least not like that. The only future he’d envisioned had been composed of his own personal hell and being alone.

Damn
.

She continued to stare as if she were concerned. He wasn’t used to anyone worrying about him, and it felt weird and comforting at the same time. Oddly enough, he liked it.

“Tell me,” she said simply, and so he did.

“I had tolerable childhood until my mom died. I was fourteen, Tanner was almost thirteen, and Zeke was eleven. It wasn’t great, but we managed. Dad had always pitted us against each other in sports to the point where we were at each other’s throats most of the time. I was the oldest, so I could easily win when we were younger. Over and over again, Dad would berate the losers with constant criticism, punishing us by making us run around the block until we were so tired we collapsed or threw up or both. Then he’d spank us with a belt, and he’d leave welts. Once I lost on purpose just to spare my younger brothers, but it only made it worse. He knew I hadn’t tried hard enough, and he gave us all our worst beating ever. I thought we would die that night, but luckily the liquor he’d consumed took him before he could do the deed.”

“What did your mom do about this?” She frowned, and he rushed to defend his mother. He wasn’t sure why, but he did.

“She left him a few times but always went back. She didn’t have anyone but him, and she loved him, I guess. He didn’t beat her or abuse her. He told her he was trying to make us into winners, to make us strong and resilient. I never knew if she believed him or not. But after that one time when I lost on purpose, and I thought we were all going to die, they got into a huge fight. She said she was leaving him.”

“Did she?”

“No. The next day she fell down the stairs going to the basement with a load of laundry and broke her neck. She died instantly.” Isaac swallowed hard. It took all the willpower he had to fight off the tears.

Avery held a hand over her mouth. “You—you don’t think—?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I think.” Isaac blinked hard and buried his face in his hands. Avery stroked his back, giving him the strength he didn’t possess on his own. Heaving a deep sigh, he met her gaze and continued. “He killed her. Either he pushed her down those steps, or he broke her neck somehow and made it look like an accident. I don’t know. He was never charged, and her death was ruled accidental. That was when our lives truly become hell.”

“I’m so sorry, Isaac. So very sorry.” She continued to stroke his back. “What happened to make it hell?”

“Once a month, Dad would drag us to this underground fight club. Tanner had grown bigger than me by then, and he’s always been a tough son-of-a-bitch. Dad made us fight. There weren’t any rules, just down and dirty street fighting. The guys we were pitted against were older and a lot more experienced. We lost a lot at first, and when we lost, we’d face Dad’s wrath at home. Out of necessity and survival, we learned to fight dirty and to win. Then he forced us to fight each other, more than once.”

“Oh, Isaac, that’s brutal and cruel.”

“Yeah, it was. What little brotherly love we might have had for each other died in that cage because it was survival of the fittest. A year into it, the fight club was raided. We weren’t there that night. Dad moved on, concentrating on forcing each one of us to be the best at our sport that we could be. We’d already gravitated to different sports out of sheer self-preservation, hoping that’d make it harder for him to pick the winner and losers. Only he still did. In his eyes, all three of us were losers, never good enough. As soon as I could get out of that house I did. Hockey got me out of there. I never looked back. Karen brought us all together later, insisting we be civil to each other and at least pretend like we were family. Once she died, we stopped pretending.”

“Where is your dad now?”

“He’s still around, and he still shows up once in a while, and he still drinks whiskey like it’s water. I came by the alcoholism honestly, and using my fists to settle an argument or even a slight by another man. For most of my life, I’ve hated the world and everyone in it.”

“But you’ve beat it. You’re not that person anymore.” Her eyes held such faith in him that he had to have faith in himself.

“I’m still a work in progress,” he attempted to be humble.

“We all are, Isaac. We do the best we can. You’ve come so far since I’ve known you.”

“You’ve my savior, Avery.”

“Maybe you’re mine, too.” She turned to him, the look in her eyes so earnest, there could be no doubt that she spoke the truth.

Isaac had not only fallen in love with Avery, he
loved
her.

* * * *

Avery cuddled next to Isaac on the bench in front of the barn and gazed at the stars, but it wasn’t the stars which held her attention. It was the strong, yet damaged man sitting next to her, his arm tight around her shoulders.

Turning to study his profile, she reached up and ran a finger along his strong jawbone. He looked down at her with that crooked smile she so loved. She’d seen adoration in his eyes on occasion, but this time something else shone in those blue depths, something she dared to name. He looked like a man in love. He acted like a man in love. He treated her like a man in love.

Oh, please, let him be a man in love
.

Avery brushed her lips across his, and he actually shivered and closed his eyes momentarily. She relished the effect her touch had on him because his touch had the same effect on her. When she lay her cheek against his, he sighed, a deep sigh of contentment.

“I keep waiting,” he whispered, his voice all gravelly and sexy, sending delicious prickles of pleasure through her body.

“Waiting for what?” she asked breathlessly.

“For things to go wrong, to go sideways, like they always do for me.”

“You have to stop thinking like that and expect the best out of life instead of the worst. You’ve turned your life around and because of that you need to change your expectations.” Like she didn’t have the same negative thoughts? Only he didn’t need to know that.

Isaac chuckled and nuzzled her neck. “Yes, ma’am. You can be my shrink any day.”

He cupped her face between his two big hands and gazed into her eyes. Avery forgot how to breathe, her heart forgot how to beat, and for her brain, thinking wasn’t an option. Meanwhile, emotions she’d never experienced before cocooned her in a warm and giddy happiness.

He leaned down and kissed her like he’d never kissed her before, so soft, so gentle, brushing his lips across hers. Her heart fluttered and soared, while her body reacted with greed, wanting more of him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. Their lips were only inches apart, yet he didn’t make a move to kiss her again, really kiss her, instead of these teasing touches that left her begging.

“Isaac,” she whispered.

“Shhh.” He held a finger to her lips. “Words aren’t ever going to be enough.”

She couldn’t agree more. He tilted his head and really did kiss her this time. She kissed him back with everything she had, showing him in ways words couldn’t how much he’d come to mean to her. She couldn’t imagine her life without him. He was as important as her horses, and no man had ever mattered that much to her.

Finally Isaac pulled back, panting, his blue eyes dilated and unfocused. “Damn, if we keep going like this, we’ll be on the couch in the lounge again.”

“Would that be so bad?”

He blinked a few times and shook his head as if trying to get his brain to kick in. She knew that story. “I want it to be special next time.”

“Okay.” She couldn’t help being disappointed.

Abruptly, Isaac stood and pulled her to her feet. “I need to go. We have an early skate tomorrow.”

Avery nodded, not wanting him to go but recognizing the wisdom behind his actions. If he stayed any longer, they wouldn’t be able prevent another lounge incident.

He walked her to the foot of the stairs, leading to the apartment. “Good night, sweetheart.”

Her heart beat a little harder in her chest at the endearment. She loved it when he called her that. “Good night.”

“Will you be at the game tomorrow night?” he asked hopefully, sounding anxious and vulnerable.

Avery nodded. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“I’ll see you then.” He kissed her forehead and walked down the aisle and out of the barn.

She watched him go. As soon as he disappeared from sight, she started looking forward to tomorrow night, watching him play hockey, and seeing him after the game.

Avery grinned, walking on air and ready to take on the world. She could do anything with Isaac at her side. But then it was late, maybe she’d best take on the world in the morning.

She turned to go upstairs, but a movement caught her eye, and she looked in that direction. Onyx poked his nose between the bars of his stall. She approached him slowly. He watched her with distrustful brown eyes, but stayed where he was until she was a few feet away. Then he whirled around and buried his head in the corner.

Regardless, it was progress thanks to Isaac and his chocolate mints.

How could a woman, especially this woman, not fall hard for a man who spent so much time trying to befriend a damaged horse?

Chapter 18—Biggest Reward

Avery was running late. She couldn’t get her hair or her makeup just right and her jeans were wrinkled and the shirt she’d wanted to wear had a spot in it. Emma and Bella waited impatiently for her. It’d been a month since Avery and Isaac had started officially dating. March had given way to April. The rhododendrons in front of the barn were blooming, birds were chirping, and leaves turned the old oak green again.

These past several weeks had been a whirlwind of hockey games, riding, and teaching, all the while dating Isaac—her new normal and his. They still hadn’t slept together, and she knew it was killing Isaac as much as it was killing her. Yet, his dedication to them getting to know each other first was so sweet, she wanted to hug him tight and never let go.

Her horses were going well, and Tiff had started riding again. Even Riot appeared to be enjoying his job. Avery had entered him in a horse show next month and couldn’t wait to show him off, even though it meant someone might see him and buy him out from under her. Sam had promised her a good commission out of his eventual sale, but the thought of all that money didn’t exactly comfort her.

Tonight was the last game of the regular season, and Avery wanted to look perfect for it, even though she reminded herself that Isaac should be concentrating on the game, not her.

“Are you ready yet? It’s just a hockey game.” Emma’s exaggerated sigh said it all.

“Okay, okay.” Avery walked into their small living room and whirled around. “What do you think?”

“I think you look like a female dressed in an over-sized hockey jersey,” Bella answered.

“Ahhh, but not any jersey—Isaac’s jersey.” Avery hugged herself, loving the feeling of that number eighteen authentic hockey jersey.

Bella snapped her fingers in front of Avery’s face. Avery glared at her, and Bella glared right back.

“You two are starting to be as disgusting as Izzy and Coop.” Bella rolled her eyes.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Avery couldn’t stop the smug smile spreading across her face. She felt like the privileged one, the one who finally saw the light while all these other poor souls just didn’t get it.

“I think it’s sweet Isaac sent this jersey over today.” Emma clasped her hands together, her expression almost sad, as if she wished she had a man, too. Avery felt sorry for her. Of all the sisters, Emma was the one who’d always dreamed of Prince Charming, and Emma was the one who hadn’t found him yet.