Memoirs of a Physician (14 page)
WHILE the king, in order to reassure M. de Choiseul, and not to lose any time himself, was walking in Trianon till the chase should commence, Luciennes was the center of a reunion of frightened conspirators, who had flown swiftly to
Mme.
Dubarry, like birds who have smelled the sportsman’s powder.
Jean and Marshal Richelieu, after having looked at each
MEMOIRS OF A PHYSICIAN. 101
other ill-humoredly for some time, were the first to take flight. The others were the usual herd of favorites, whom the certain disgrace of the Choiseuls had allured, whom his return to favor had alarmed, and who, no longer finding the minister there to fawn upon, had returned mechanically to Luciennes, to see if the tree was yet strong enough for them to cling to as before.
Mme.
Dubarry was taking a siesta after the fatigues of her diplomacy and deceptive triumph which had crowned it, when Bichelieu’s carriage rolled into the court with the noise and swiftness of a whirlwind.
” Mistress Dubarry is asleep,” said Zaniore, without moving.
Jean sent Zamore rolling on the carpet with a scientific kick inflicted upon the most highly ornamented portion of his governor’s uniform.
Zamore screamed, and Chon hastened to inquire the cause.
” You are beating that little fellow again, you brute ! ” said she.
“And I shall exterminate you, too ‘ continued Jean, with kindling eyes, ” if you do not immediately awaken the countess.”
But there was no need to awaken the countess ; at Zarnore’s cries, at the growling tones of Jean’s voice, she had suspected some misfortune, and hastened into the room, wrapped in a dressing-gown.
“What is the matter ?” exclaimed she, alarmed at see-ing Jean stretched at full length upon the sofa to calm the agitation of his bile, and at finding that the marshal did not even kiss her hand.
“The matter! the matter !” said Jean. ” Parbleu ! what is always the matter the Choiseuls ! “
“How”
” Yes ! mille tonnerres ! firmer than ever.”
“What do you mean ?”
“The Count Dubarry is right,” continued Richelieu; “Monsieur the Duke de Choiseul is firmer than ever.”
The countess drew the king’s letter from her bosom.
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” And this ? ” said she, smiling.
” Have you read it aright, countess ?” asked the marshal.
” Why, I fancy I can read, duke,” replied
Mme.
Dubarry.
” I do not doubt it, madame. Will you allow me to read it also ? “
” Oh ! certainly ; read.”
The duke took the paper, unfolded it slowly, and read :
‘ ‘ To-morrow I shall thank Monsieur de Choiseul for his services. I promise it positively. Louis.”
” Is that clear ?” said the countess.
” Perfectly clear,” replied the marshal, with a grimace.
” Well ! what ? ” said Jean.
” Well ! It is to-morrow that we shall be victorious, and nothing is lost as yet.”
” How ! To-morrow ? The king signed that yesterday ; therefore to-morrow is to-day.”
” Pardon me, madame,” said the duke ; ” as there is no date to the note, to-morrow will always be the day after you wish to see Monsieur de Choiseul dismissed. In the Rue de la Grange Bateliere, about one hundred paces from my house, there is a tavern, on the sign-board of which is written in red characters, ‘ Credit given to-morrow.’ To-morrow that is, never.”
“The king mocks us ! ” said Jean, furiously.
” Impossible,” said the alarmed countess, ” impossible ! Such a trick would be unworthy “
” Ah, madame, his majesty is so merry,” said Richelieu.
“He shall pay for this, duke,” said the countess, in a tone of anger.
“After all, countess, we must not be angry with the king ; we cannot accuse his majesty of cheating or trick-ing us, for the king has performed what he promised.”
“Oh! “said Jean, with a more than vulgar shrug of his shoulders.
“What did he promise?” cried the countess. “To thank Choiseul for his services.”
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“And that is precisely what he has done, madame. I heard his majesty myself thank the duke for his services. The word has two meanings ; in diplomacy, each takes the one he prefers. You have chosen yours, the king has chosen his. Therefore, there is no more question of to-morrow. It is to-day, according to your opinion, that the king should have kept his promise, and he has done so. I who speak to you heard him thank Choiseul.”
” Duke, this is no time for jesting, I think.”
” Do you think I am jesting, countess ? Ask Count Jean.”
” No, by Heaven ! “We were in no humor for laughing this morning when Choiseul was embraced, flattered, feasted by the king, and even now he is walking arm in arm with him in Trianon.’*
” Arm in arm ! ” exclaimed Chon, who had slipped into the roqm, and who raised her snowy arms like a second Niobe in despair.
” Yes, I have been tricked ‘ said the countess, ” but we shall see. Chon, countermand my carriage for the chase. I shall not go.”
” Good ! ” said Jean.
” One moment,” cried Richelieu. ” No hurry, no pouting. Ah ! forgive me, countess, for daring to advise you ; 1 entreat you to pardon me.”
” Go on, duke, do not apologize. I think I am losing my senses. See how I am placed ; I did not wish to meddle with politics, and the first time I touch upon them, self-love launches me so deeply. You were saying “
” That pouting would not be wise now. The position is difficult, countess. If the king is so decidedly in favor of these Choiseuls, if the dauphinesshassomuch influence over him, if he thus openly breaks a lance with you, you must “
“Well, what?”
” You must be even more amiable than yon are at present, countess. I know it is impossible ; but in a position like ours the impossible becomes necessary. Attempt the impossible, then.”
104 MEMOIRS OF A PHYSICIAN.
The countess reflected.
” For, in short,” said the duke, ” if the king should adopt German manners “
“‘If he should become virtuous !” exclaimed Jean, horrified.
” Who knows, countess ?” said Richelieu ; ” novelty is such an attractive thing.”
lc Oh ! as for that ‘ replied the countess, with a nod of incredulity, ” I do not believe it.”
” More extraordinary things have happened, countess. You know the proverb of the devil turning hermit. So you must not pout.”
” But I am suffocating with rage.”
” Parbleu ! countess, I can believe you ; but suffocate before us, breathe freely before the enemy. Do not let the king, that is to say, Monsieur de Choiseul, perceive your anger.”
” And shall I go to the chase ? “
” It would be most politic.”
” And you, duke ?”
Oh, I ? If I should have to crawl on all fours, I shall
go ‘
” Come in my carriage, then ! ” cried the countess, to see what face her ally would put on.
” Oh, countess,” replied the duke, smirking to hide his vexation, ” it is such an honor “
” That you refuse ?”
” I ? Heaven forbid. But, take care ; you will compromise yourself.”
” He confesses it he dares to confess it,” cried
Mme.
Dubarry.
” Countess ! countess ! Monsieur de Choiseul will never forgive me ‘
” Are you already on such good terms with Monsieur de Choiseul ?”
” Countess, I shall get into disgrace with the dauphiness.”
” Would you rather we should each continue the war separately, without sharing the spoil ? It is still time.
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You are not compromised, and you may yet withdraw from the association.”
” You misunderstood me, countess ‘ said the duke, kissing her hands. ” Did I hesitate on the day of your presentation to send you a dress, a hair-dresser, and a carriage ? Well, I shall not hesitate any more to-day. I am bolder than you imagine, countess.”
” Then it is agreed. We will go to this hunt together, and that will serve me as a pretext for nof, seeing or speaking to any one.”
” Not even to the king ? “
” Oh ! on the contrary, I shall give him such sweet words that he will be in despair ‘
” Bravo ! that is good tactics.”
” But you, Jean, what are you doing there ? Do endeavor to rise from these cushions ; you are burying yourself alive, my good friend.”
” You want to know what I am doing, do you ? Well, I am thinking “
“Of what?”
” I am thinking that all the ballad-writers of the town and the parliament are setting us to all possible tunes ; that the ‘ Nouvelles a la main ‘ is cutting us up like meat for pies ; that the ‘ Gazetier Cuirasse ‘ is piercing us for want of a cuirass ; that the ‘Journal des Observateurs’ observes us even to the marrow of our bones ; that, in short, to-morrow we shall be in so pitiable a state that even a Choiseul might pity us.”
” And what is the result of your reflections ? ” asked the duke.
” Why, that I must hasten to Paris to buy a little lint and no inconsiderable quantity of ointment to put upon our wounds. Give me some money, my little sister.”
‘* How much ? ” asked the countess.
” A trifle ; two or three hundred louis.”
” You see, duke,” said the countess, turning to Richelien, ” that I am already paying the expenses of the war.”
” That is only the beginning of the campaign, countess ; sow to day ; to-morrow you will reap.”
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The countess shrugged her shoulders slightly, rose, went to her chiffonier, and, opening it, took out a handful of bank-notes, which, without counting them, she handed to Jean, who, also without counting them, pocketed them with a deep sigh.
Then rising, yawning, and stretching himself like a man overwhelmed with fatigue, he took a few steps across the room.
” See,” said he, pointing to the duke and the countess, ” these people are going to amuse themselves at the chase, while I have to gallop to Paris. They will see gay cavaliers and lovely women, and I shall see nothing but hideous faces and scribbling drudges. Certainly I am the turnspit of the establishment.”
“Mark me, duke,” said the countess, “he will never bestow a thought on us. Half my bank-notes will be squandered on some opera girl and the rest will disappear in a gambling-house. That is his errand to Paris, and yet he bemoans himself, the wretch ! Leave my sight, Jean, you disgust me.”
Jean emptied three plates of bonbons, stuffed the contents into his pocket, stole a Chinese figure with diamond eyes from the landing, and stalked off with a most majestic strut, pursued by the exclamations of the countess.
” What a delightful youth ! ” said Eichelieu, in the tone of a parasite who praises a spoiled brat, while all the time he is inwardly devoting him to the infernal regions ; ” he is very dear to you, I suppose, countess ? “
” As you say, duke, he has fixed all his happiness in me, and the speculation brings him three or four hundred thousand livres a year.”
The clock struck.
” Half-past twelve, countess,” said the duke. ” Luckily you are almost dressed. Show yourself a little to your courtiers, who might otherwise think there was an eclipse, and then let us to our carriages. You know how the chase is ordered ? “
“His majesty and I arranged it yesterday ; they were to proceed to the forest of Marly and take me up in passing.”
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” Oh ! I am very sure the king has not changed the pro-gram.”
” In the meantime, duke, let me hear your plan ; it is your turn now.”
“Madame, I wrote yesterday to my nephew, who, if I may believe my presentiments, is already on his way hither.”
” Monsieur d’Aiguillon ? “
” I should not be surprised if he crosses my letter on the road, and if he were here to-morrow or the day after at the latest.”
” Then yon calculate upon him?”
” Oh ! madame, he does not want for sense.”
“No matter who it is, for we are at the last extremity. The king might perhaps submit, but he has such a dreadful antipathy to business.”
” So that “
” So that I fear he will never consent to give up Monsieur de Choiseul.”
” Shall I speak frankly to you, countess ? “
” Certainly.”
“Well, I think so too. The king will find a hundred stratagems like that of yesterday. His majesty has so much wit ! And then, on your side, countess, you will never risk losing his love for the sake of an unaccountable whim.”
And while he spoke the marshal fixed a searching glance on
Mme.
Dubarry.
” Dame ! I must reflect upon that.”
” You see, countess, Monsieur de Choiseul is there for an eternity ; nothing but a miracle can dislodge him.”
” Yes, a miracle,” repeated Jeanne.
” And, unfortunately, we are not now in the age of miracles.”
” Oh ! ” said
Mme.
Dnbarry, ” I know some one who can work miracles yet.”
11 You know a man who can work miracles, and yet you did not tell me so before ? “
“I only thought of it this moment, duke.”
” Do you think he could assist us in this affair ? “
108 MEMOIRS OF A PHYSICIAN.
” I think he can do everything.”
” Oh ! indeed ? And what miracle has he worked ? Tell me, that I may judge of his skill by the specimen.”
“Duke,” said
Mme.
Dubarry, approaching Richelieu, and involuntarily lowering her, voice, ” he is a man who, ten years ago, met me upon the Place Louis XV. and told me I should be Queen of France.”
” Indeed ! that is in truth miraculous ; and could he tell me, think you, if I shall die prime minister ? “
” Don’t you think so ?”
” Oh, I don’t doubt it in the least. What is his name ?”
“His name will tell you nothing ‘
” Where is he ? “
“Ah! that I don’t know.”
“.He did not give you his address ? “
” No ; he was to come to me for his recompense.”
” What did you promise him ? “
“Whatever he should ask.”
” And he has not come ? “
” No ! “
” Countess, that is even more miraculous than his prediction. We must certainly have this man.”
