Memories: A Husband to Remember\New Year's Daddy (Hqn) (38 page)

When he lifted his head, she waited to hear the words, the declaration of his love, the vow that he couldn’t live without her, but he just stared at her and gave her a quick little kiss to her forehead. “I can’t wait forever,” he warned her as she climbed into her van.

She rolled down the window. “Three days is
not
forever.”

“Seems that way to me.” He touched her face with his fingers and she started the engine. Could she really marry him? Trust him to learn to love her? Maybe a good marriage wasn’t necessarily founded on love, but on mutual respect, on a shared sense of humor and compassion, on like ideas. Maybe the hot-as-a-branding-iron kind of passion was close enough to true love. No way, she told herself. Ever since she was a teenager, she’d known the difference between love and lust, and what she felt for Travis was a blending of the two. True she wanted him physically and emotionally, but did she love him? Would she throw down her life for his? Walk through fire to be with him? Accept his son as her own? Have children and grow old with him? Yes! Yes! Yes!

But did he love her or did he want to marry her to add some stability in his life? Did he think of her as a stepmother to Bryan, a woman who would become an instant wife and mother? He now knew she’d hoped to buy the old lodge, maybe he thought living there would be an enticement. Maybe she was silly to hope to hear those magic words of love.

As she drove across town, maneuvering through the streets by rote, the nagging questions racing through her mind, she knew she’d come to a crossroads in her life and she couldn’t take both paths without being ripped in two. What she’d wanted all her life was now in question. The past was the trail she’d already taken and to her left was a path she’d started down, a road of loneliness and devotion to a dear, dead husband; the second path stretched to the right and it was a brighter future, one with Travis and his son.

Without realizing what she was doing, she headed east and through gates on the outskirts of the city that opened to the cemetery. She parked, letting the engine idle and cool, then walked up the hill to a grassy spot with a simple headstone. Beloved Husband and Father, she read and felt hot tears well in her eyes. A blast of icy wind whipped around her and blew her hair into her eyes. “I loved you,” she said to the plot where her husband lay buried. “I loved you with all my heart. I never wanted to let go. Never. But it’s time, Hank. Way past time, and I think...no, I
know
that I’ve got to get on with my life, with the living part.”

She waited, almost as if expecting an answer, but the only noise was the rush of the wind that blew through the surrounding trees. A few snowflakes swirled in the air and she shivered. “I’ll never forget and you’ll always be Amy’s father, but there’s another man, one I think I might be able to love and...and he wants to marry me.” She sighed and lifted her face to the cloud-covered sky, as if she could glimpse heaven through the thick curtains. “I’m going to do it.” Her fingers, frozen and bare, curled into determined fists. “By God,” she vowed, “I’m going to marry Travis Keegan.”

* * *

The pageant was a delightful fiasco. The angel choir sang the wrong song and the boy who played Joseph kept forgetting his lines. Fortunately, the girl who played Mary prompted him and when it was all over, the audience was smiling, the kids were relieved and they all celebrated at the party and bazaar.

Shelly managed to sit through the performance, but Vic whisked her and the twins away before she could get bogged down in any of the festivities. Amy was in her element, laughing and talking, still wearing the costume that she adored. She drank cup after cup of cranberry punch that drizzled down the white folds of her angel outfit and still managed to put away two slices of rum cake. By the time the party was over, she was pooped and Bryan was trying hard to look bored out of his mind.

“Let’s go home,” Ronni suggested.

“But you said we’d buy a star for the top of the tree.” Amy’s face, so sweet only seconds before, clouded over and her chin jutted stubbornly. “Or an angel or—”

“We will—”

“Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve,” Amy said.

“You’re right. Let’s look through the bins and see what we can find.” She glanced up at Travis who was smothering a smile. “You’ve heard of the angel Gabriel, well you just met the angel Groucho.”

Travis laughed and they followed Amy past tables laden with everything from gooseberry pies to quilted Advent calendars. Some of the local crafts were so intricate that Ronni made a mental note of them and thought they would make wonderful additions to her next year’s winter catalog. She knew most of the local artists and craftsmen and women already but there were a few new and interesting pieces, created by artisans she had yet to meet.

“Here it is!” Amy found a table laden with handcrafted ornaments and chose an angel made of a cone, netting, a hand-painted doll’s head and gossamer wings. Pearly white beads and a loop of gold ribbon caused the angel’s dress to glimmer and sparkle.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Amy breathed, holding the decoration as if it were made of spun gold.

“Gorgeous.”

“Can we get her, Mommy?”

Ronni winced as she read the price tag, but realizing that half the proceeds went to the church, she agreed to make the purchase. “I think we’d better get out of here before we go broke,” she said to Travis. “Oh, wait. I think you should meet some people who have kids about Bryan’s age.”

“No way,” Bryan insisted, but Ronni wouldn’t take no for an answer and within minutes she’d introduced Travis to the Carters and their son, Jake, and the Hendersons with their daughters, Becca and Sherrie. Bryan stared at the floor as if he found the yellowed linoleum fascinating, especially when he had to say something to the Henderson girls, but Travis and Ronni lingered, forcing the kids to interact.

Jake was interested in horses, skiing and basketball players and talked without seeming to take a break. The girls told him what to expect from his teachers at school. Bryan was nearly mute, answering in monosyllables, eyes nailed to the floor, but, Ronni figured, it was a start, a little inroad in that swamp of teenage relationships. The preacher’s daughter, Elizabeth, joined them and encouraged Bryan to join their youth group, which met every Wednesday night and combined Bible study with fun, usually in the form of pizza parties, dances and trips skiing in the winter and swimming in the summer.

By the time they got into the parking lot, Bryan didn’t even bother saying good-night, just slunk into the passenger seat of his father’s Jeep and showed too many signs of teenage rebellion. “I hope he’s all right,” Ronni said.

“He will be,” Travis assured her. “It’s just going to take a while for him to change his mind-set.”

“Good luck.”

He kissed her lightly on the lips, then she walked to her van. Amy was yawning as Ronni helped strap her into the seat. “Is Travis gonna be my new daddy?” she asked, trying to keep her eyes open.

Startled, Ronni asked, “Would you like it if he was?”

“Mmm. Would you?”

Before Ronni could answer, the little angel with the cranberry-stained gown fell asleep.

* * *

“A puppy!” Amy squealed in pure delight. All the presents had been opened, and while Amy was playing with a new doll, Ronni had hurried out to the barn where she’d hidden the pup since five o’clock in the morning. Before that, she’d been up with the frightened little dog half the night as the animal had whined and howled and threatened to wake Amy. “You got me a puppy!” Amy fairly danced a special little jig and wiggled as much as the dog to get her fingers on the wriggling ball of fluff. “Oh, Mommy, he’s beautiful!” Amy cried, entranced.

“She. It’s a girl.”

“So she can have more puppies someday!”

Ronni laughed. “I don’t think so. One dog’s going to be more than enough, I think.”

After nearly squeezing the life from him, Amy let the pup down and the dog ran in circles, sped around the Christmas tree, under the table, into the kitchen and back again. Amy, in four-year-old heaven, raced after her and slid on the hardwood floors.

Ronni tried to drink a cup of coffee throughout the chaos. This—early Christmas morning—was their time together alone before Travis and Bryan and Shelly’s whole family descended for Christmas dinner later in the afternoon. She couldn’t believe how her life had changed in the past few weeks and she eyed the little Christmas tree under which the presents were spread. She’d even broken down and bought something for Travis and Bryan as they seemed already a part of her family.

“Let’s name her Snowball.”

“But she isn’t white.”

“Does it matter?”

“No, honey, I don’t suppose it does. You can name her anything you like.”

While Ronni picked up the litter and discarded wrapping paper from the Santa gifts, Amy busied herself by making a bed for the dog.

Once the house was cleaned and the pup was relegated during nonplay hours to a newspaper-strewn laundry room, Ronni turned on her favorite Christmas CDs and started stuffing the turkey. After plopping it into the oven, she even danced a little as she put together a molded salad, peeled white potatoes from her own garden and washed the yams. Yes, it was a time of new traditions, a new beginning. A new dog and a new extended family.

It was nearly four before she had time to dress Amy and get changed. Sitting at the vanity, slipping silver hoops through her earlobes, she heard the doorbell ring. “Coming,” she called, following Amy down the stairs.

Travis and his son stood on the porch, their arms laden with packages. Ronni’s heart kicked into double time at the sight of Travis in black slacks and a cream-colored sweater, his hair rumpled by the wind. Bryan, for the first time in ages, was without his baseball hat and wore clean jeans and a gray shirt tucked in at the waist. He managed a tight smile and Ronni was taken with how much he looked like his father. Once the soft flesh of youth gave way to harder planes and angles, he’d be as handsome as Travis.

“Come in, come in,” she invited. “We have someone we’d like you to meet.” From the laundry room, the pup gave an excited yip and Amy ran to get her.

“Lookie!” she cried, running with the little dog. “Her name is Snowball! Mommy got her for me.”

Snowball wriggled and tried desperately to wash everyone’s face. Travis and Bryan exchanged glances. “Uh-oh,” Bryan whispered.

“What?”

“Well—” Travis rolled his eyes. “What is it they say about great minds thinking alike?”

“Oh no,” Ronni whispered, fingers to her lips as she caught his meaning.

“What?” Amy asked, befuddled.

“May as well bring our surprise in now,” Travis said and handed the keys of his Jeep to Bryan.

Ronni’s gaze locked with Travis’s. “I don’t believe it.”

“Believe.”

A few minutes later, Bryan returned to the house carrying a half-grown pup.

“Wow!” Amy’s eyes rounded.

“We got him at the local animal shelter,” Travis explained. “His name is Rex.”

“Is he mine?”

“If it’s okay with your mother.”

Ronni skewered him with a knowing look. “Oh, great, make me the bad guy.”

“Can we keep him, Mommy?” Amy was dancing again, her eyes sparkling in anticipation, her cheeks rosy.

“I suppose.”

“Yippee!”

Rex, black and white and looking suspiciously as if he had a Border collie in his family tree somewhere, bounded through the door as if he knew he was home. The smaller pup let out a worried woof, then dashed away to cower under the table.

Travis grinned sheepishly. “He’s housebroken.”

“That’s the good news. One down, one to go,” Ronni said. Yesterday she owned no dogs, today she had two. Unbelievable.

Travis kissed her cheek. “You’ll survive,” he predicted.

When Shelly, Vic and the boys landed, Ronni pointed a wooden spoon in her sister’s direction. “Tell me you didn’t buy a dog.”

“I didn’t,” her sister swore, looking drawn.

“And you didn’t pick up one at the animal shelter, humane society or a stray walking down the street.”

“Scout’s honor,” Shelly said, hiding a smile as she held up two fingers.

“Good, then you can stay, but only if you promise to take it easy and put your feet up in Hank’s recliner.” Ronni wagged the spoon in front of her sister’s nose.

“Yes, ma’am,” Shelly replied with a mock salute. “But I thought you couldn’t bear the thought of his chair empty in the living room. Wasn’t it stored away?”

“I decided that was silly. Along with a lot of things,” Ronni explained. “Besides, I wasn’t really acting rationally, was I?”

Shelly didn’t answer and plucked a cracker from a small bowl, then dipped it into the cheese spread.

“I mean, some of his things I kept around to remind me of him and others I hid away because I didn’t want to think about what I’d lost.” She shook her head. “I didn’t realize how much of a basket case I was.”

Shelly cocked her head to one side and munched on the cracker. “And now?”

“Now is tough, but I’m better. My New Year’s resolution is to become whole again. To start over.”

Folding her arms over her chest, Shelly motioned with her chin toward Travis. “I don’t suppose this has anything to do with him.”

“A little, probably,” Ronni admitted, “but I’d decided it was time to rebuild just before I met him.”

“And your war with the mountain?”

“Oh, it goes on forever,” Ronni said. “As long as there are skiers trapped up there, I’m going to bring them down. Mount Echo will still win sometimes, but I’ll fight her all the way.”

“Her?”

“Her, it...does it matter?”

At that moment, both puppies galloped into the room, yipping and giving chase to each other. “My Lord.” Shelly laughed. “What happened?”

“I think we’re experiencing Amy’s vision of heaven.”

“And mine of hell,” Shelly whispered with a chuckle.

Ronni laughed, too. This Christmas—the one she’d dreaded—was turning out to be the best ever.

* * *

They all ate around the table, though it had to be extended with a folding card table at one end and the tablecloth looked a little lumpy where the two tables butted up to each other. Candles graced the centerpiece and Christmas music filled the room. Ronni poured wine for the adults, though Shelly declined, then filled the children’s glasses with sparkling cider. Travis was given the honor of carving the turkey and after everyone had eaten until they couldn’t take another bite, they left the dishes and turned their attention to the Christmas tree and gift exchange between the families.