Memory Boy (19 page)

“It's great living in the woods by the river,” Miles says. “Why would anyone want to leave?”

“Let's see,” Sarah says, “a real school might actually have kids my age? Plus my cell phone won't work here. I can't call any of my friends back home.”

“What friends?” Mile says. “And anyway, all those suburban fake-Goth losers you hung around with are going to be hunting rats or looking for roadkill to eat.”

“Shut up, Miles!” she says quickly.

Miles does, which is his small way of apologizing.

“Plus a school has things like flush toilets,” Sarah continues, “and hot water that comes out of faucets?”

“Our outhouse works fine,” Miles says, not bothering to look up. “No pipes, no electricity—we're totally green. And what's wrong with cooking on a woodstove and washing in the river?”

“You tell me.”

He stops to stare.

She pinches her nose. “I hate to say it, but you stink. Really bad.”

Miles hoists his right arm and smells his pit. “I don't smell nothing.”

“‘Anything,'” she says. Since they'd arrived at the cabin, Miles's grammar and hygiene had slipped big-time. He hardly ever washes—never brushes his teeth. His hair has gotten longer, and now that he's getting older, his skinny chest is growing furry with dark hair. Every day he looks more like a wild animal.

Miles straightens up. “I stink? Really?” he says, now faking genuine concern; he sniffs first one armpit, then the other. He steps closer. “Are you sure?”

“Miles, no,” Sarah says, edging away.

He fakes a growl and leaps forward to grab her. Sarah shrieks. He's so sweaty and slick from his carpentry work that she twists out of his grasp and races off toward the river. He waves his arms like a crazy man, and his hairy armpits chase her like two owls. Laughing, she runs down the path toward the river. Behind her, Emily, their goat, begins to
“Baaack!”
in alarm.

“Don't worry, Emily—I'll be back!” Sarah shouts over her shoulder. She makes a running jump into the water, hoping that Miles will leap in after her. It would be a service to the family.

But Miles skids to a stop at the riverbank. “Sorry,” he says, “I got to keep working. Winter is coming, and anyway, you smell, too—like a goat.”

“I do not!” she shouts.

“Goat Girl!” Miles teases.

She punches water toward him but it falls short, then swears at him for real.

“Sarah? Miles?” their mom calls from back on the front porch. “Everything all right?”

“You're in trouble now,” Sarah says, emerging from the river.

“No I'm not.” Miles quickly heads back to the yard.

As Sarah trudges, sopping wet, up the short trail and into the yard, her mother waits on the front porch, arms crossed. “Okay, what's going on?”

“Miles did it. He chased me,” Sarah says, pointing to him.

Miles looks around innocently. “She's obsessing on toilets and showers again,” he says, and shrugs.

“That's enough, Miles,” Nat says. “I don't care who did what—just stop!” Their mother is small and with dark-blue eyes; and a red do-rag covers her curly dark brown hair. Art appears in the doorway and takes out one earbud.

“What's going on?” he asks. He's only a little taller than Nat, and has wispy curls turning gray over his ears; he shades his eyes against the hazy sunlight—he's an indoor kind of man, a musician, drummer for a jazz band, and a totally urban guy.

“Nothing,” Sarah says.

“I'm so sick of these two bickering and fighting,” Nat says to him.

“Listen to your mother,” their father says.

“So what? Are you going to ground me?” Sarah asks her parents. “Take away my cell phone and credit card? No trips to the mall for a week?”

“Very funny,” her mother says.

They are all silent for a moment.

“We just need … to pull together,” her mother says. “Okay?”

“All right, all right!” Sarah says with annoyance. She isn't used to this new family teamwork motto. She used to have essentially no parents. Her dad was on the road all the time with his group, and her mother was busy with her literary clients—and it was just fine that way. Now they're like the
Little House on the Prairie
family—or more like
Little House in the Big Woods
: Everybody's home all the time. “Just tell me again why we're living here?” Sarah says.

Everyone knows it's a rhetorical question, but Miles isn't done pushing her buttons. “Where to start?” he says sarcastically. “Do you sorta remember when the volcanoes didn't stop erupting, how we had to wait longer and longer in line at gas stations? How fights would break out if somebody took more than five gallons? And how after about a year of volcanic dust in the air, the plants barely grew anymore, and all the grocery store shelves had big bare spots? All the ‘temporarily out of stock' signs?”

“That the best you can do, Memory Boy?”

“Or how about the family down the road that was tied up and beaten by looters looking for food?” Miles continues.

“What family?” Sarah asks.

“Exactly,” Miles answers. “I wasn't supposed to tell you—not that you were paying attention anyway—because it might have scared you. The looters did some really bad things to the mother and daughter, too.”

“Shut up!” Sarah says.

“Stop! Right now!” Nat calls to both of them.

There's a long silence.

“Did you really have to do that?” Nat asks Miles.

Miles doesn't answer, which makes Nat let out a long breath. “Oh, Miles,” she begins.

“Forget about that,” Miles says abruptly. “We're here now. And I thought—finally—we were all on the same page.”

“And what page is that?” Sarah asks. She tries to sound sarcastic.

“We get out of the city and stay out until it's safe to go home,” Miles answers. “Here at least we have enough to eat.” There is no hesitation in his voice.

Sarah and her parents are silent.

“We voted, remember?!” Miles asks, trying to keep anger from his voice.

Sarah is silent.

“Okay. Then let's get with the program, people!” Miles says. He heads back to his work.

Sarah's father disappears back inside the cabin. Emily continues to hop and fidget, so Sarah goes over and gives her a handful of grass. Emily nuzzles her long nose, wide-set eyes, and bumpy head through two slats in the wooden corral fence, and Sarah scratches her head.

“It's all right. Things are fine,” she lies.

When Emily calms down, Sarah heads back to the river for a real swim; the river is the place she goes to get away from her family.

Among some trees on the riverbank, she takes her damp bathing suit from a tree limb and changes out of her wet clothes. Falls back into the cool, flowing water. Just when she's starting to relax, her mother appears and sits down on the bank like a lifeguard.

Sarah ignores her. Rolls over on her back and floats.

“I know this is tough,” her mother begins.

Sarah says nothing.

“None of your friends are around. And we spend way more time together as a family than we used to,” her mother adds. “We're all adjusting to that.”

Sarah blurts, “Since when did Miles become the boss of our family?”

“He's not the boss,” Nat says.

“Well he acts like it.”

Nat is silent.

“Is it true—about that family?” Sarah asks.

“Yes. Miles just wants to keep us safe and get us through this—these
times
.”

Sarah spits a fountain-like mouthful of river water. “‘These times,'” she says sarcastically.

Her mother shrugs. “Every generation has something—some issue to deal with, like a war or a depression. Yours will be the volcanoes. Think of the great stories you'll have to tell your own kids—”

“I thought we were talking about Miles.”

“Okay, yes. Miles gets pretty intense about things,” Nat says. “Especially about our cabin because it belonged to Mr. Kurz—”

“I know all that stuff,” Sarah interrupts.

“But what we didn't know was how much he and Miles bonded,” her mother continues. “They spent a lot of time together. I think he became a grandfather Miles never had.”

“Or maybe the father he never had?” Sarah asks.

“Don't be cruel,” her mother says sharply.

Sarah doesn't reply.

“But in some ways you're right,” her mother says. “We had our family issues. Maybe this time together is a gift. Try to look at it that way.”

A small dragonfly lands on the bridge of Sarah's nose—she crosses her eyes and tries to focus on its cellophane wings, its bug eyes; but it's too close. The dragonfly's feet tickle her skin as it launches itself back up in the air; she itches her nose. “I hate it here!” she says. “I wish we were back at Birch Bay—our own cabin. That's where we're supposed to be living.”

“Let's not talk about that,” her mother says.

“We're going to have to someday,” Sarah says.

Her mother does not reply.

“Okay, let's not,” Sarah says. She takes in a big breath of air and lets herself sink to the bottom of the Mississippi River—which is less dramatic than it sounds. They are only twenty miles from the headwaters at Lake Itasca, and here the Mississippi is only waist deep. It's narrow enough to leap across in spots. A cold, clear stream with small rocks and tiny shells on the sandy bottom, and the deeper pools where the river bends. Underwater, she opens her eyes. Pretends she's a fish. Minnows with horizontal stripes and half-transparent bodies flicker by. A silvery shell the size of an ear glints like mother of pearl, and she grabs it. Underwater there's no sound except for her own heartbeat—and the muffled
“Baaack!”
of Emily. She sounds far away—where Sarah would like to be.

She stays down a long time, hoping that her mother will think she has drowned. It wouldn't be the worst way to go, sort of a cool, drifty death with all the dust washed away. She imagines shouting, splashing, hands reaching down to save her.

When she spews air and resurfaces, her mother is halfway back to the cabin. Clutching her shell, she emerges from the river, grabs a towel hung over the side of Miles's old raft, and dries off. She changes behind a little board screen that she made herself. On the way up the path, she yanks up a handful of thin grass, shakes off the dust, and carries it back to the corral. A nice treat for Emily.

Emily, with her soft, droopy ears, her Roman nose, her wide brown eyes and musky smell that Sarah has come to love. Emily was a “free parting gift” from the squatters occupying the Newell family's real lake cabin—where her family
should
be living right now. Birch Bay was their destination when they'd left Minneapolis: a cozy summer cabin near Brainerd that had belonged to her grandparents. The place they always went to on summer weekends. But this time when they got to Birch Bay it was occupied by squatters. A family with kids and a biker and his wife.
You folks are gonna have to move on. It's a dog-eat-dog world nowadays
, the creepy biker, big Danny, had said; and since he was a big guy with a big gun, and his wife was related to the local sheriff who would protect them, the Newell family had to move on. It was her family's most humiliating moment ever—especially for her father.

“But the bad people you came from don't make you a bad goat!” Sarah says.

“Baaack, baack!”
replies Emily.

Sarah snuggles against her, but Emily is fidgety. Nervous. Her eyes keep turning toward the woods. Toward Miles, who is working across the clearing.

“What's wrong?” Sarah murmurs.

“Baaack, baaack!”

Sarah holds out more grass, which Emily munches on. But she keeps looking around.

“Lend a hand anytime!” Miles calls; he lifts another board onto his sawhorses.

“I'm feeding Emily.”

Miles mutters something she can't hear.

“Look what I found in the river,” she says. She holds up the shell. The inside curve looks like a pearl; by tilting it she can reflect weak sunlight.

“Clam,” Miles says. “Actually a clam shell. The clam inside got ate by an otter or a mink.”

“‘Eaten,'” she says.

“That's what I said,” Miles replies, and keeps sawing.

She gives Emily another handful of dusty grass—and when she stands up, she sees a dog watching them from the edge of the woods. A dog the same color as the brush. All grays and browns and tans, like oak leaves. She squints to see him better, but suddenly he's not there.

It was definitely a dog. An old one, too. A gray muzzle and square head, which is how she noticed him—his large head with its up-slanted eyes. And a tattered part of a collar hanging down—she's sure about that. Somebody's lost dog.