Memory Girl (8 page)

“No. You must crawl through the wire.”

She shakes her leathery head. How can I convince her to leave? If the Instructors or my new Family realize I'm missing, an alarm will bring a search team and Uniforms with sniffer hounds. There is no hiding from the sniffers.

“Go away!” I shout at her in my fiercest tone. “Now!”

Her silky pink tongue curls from her mouth, like when she lick-kisses me. She paws my leg, poised to jump into my arms. But if I hold her again, I won't have the courage to let her go. l must be strong for both of us.

“Petal, go to the cave! I don't want you here! Get away from me!”

Her eyes shine liquid hurt, but she doesn't move.

I gulp in sea-tasting air then do something I'll never forget or forgive. Reaching down to the ground, I pick up a rock. It's heavy in my palm. Sharp-edges stab my skin. I pull back my arm and—

“Don't!” someone shouts.

The rock drops from my fingers. I whip around, not seeing anyone until I peer beyond the Fence. A figure steps out from behind a boulder.

My gasp startles Petal, who winds her leathery body around my ankle. I hardly notice her, staring at Nate, stunned by how goodly he looks without the bulky tube costume. I thought he'd left hours ago. Why is he here?

His hair, shining black like wet sea pebbles, is pulled back into a long rope that trails over his shoulder. But his skin is a sharp contrast, pale as winter clouds, as if he is from a world of water and rarely touched by the sun. There are scars—jagged slashes near his mouth and above his left brow, and deeper, redder marks on his hands. His eyes—oh, those amazing eyes—pull me into a gaze bluer than the sea behind him.

He frowns at me. “Were you going to throw that rock?”

“I—I wasn't …. I would never ….” I hang my head, ashamed at what I almost did. “I didn't plan to hit Petal,
only scare her away.”

“I believe you,” he says softly. “You were very gentle with her in the cave. Yet you want her to leave you. Why?”

“I love her.” My voice breaks, and I hate how close I am to tears. When I caress Petal's bristly skin, dry flakes fall away. “She's withering.”

“Sea creatures belong in the sea,” he says with a nod of understanding.

“Right. But I don't have time to take her to the cave, and she refuses to leave me. She … she knows I won't be coming back.”

He tilts his head, his black rope hair swaying. “You're going away?”

“To my Family. Today was the Celebraze.”

“What's a Celebraze?”

“You don't know?” I stare at his odd clothing—black pantons of rough fabric, stained and worn at the knees. His snug shirt misses top buttons, revealing a curl of chest hair.

“There are many things I don't know,” he admits. “But I'm eager to learn and to help. I'll take your Petal back to the cave.”

“You will?” I almost sink to the ground, relieved.

“I'm already on this side of the Fence—unlike you. Also, I know the way into the cave.” His scar creases into the curve of his smile. “Hand her to me.”

We kneel at our separate sides of the Fence, worlds of wire apart.

Nate holds out his arms. “She's small enough to squeeze under the wire.”

“Go with him,” I whisper to Petal.

She tries to escape my grasp. “Petal, don't fight. Please,
you need the sea.” I kiss her whiskery face. “Go now.”

Petal lick-kisses my cheek, then looks curiously at Nate. He reaches beneath the fence. I see chipped nails, his upturned palms callused and strong. Our fingertips brush as I pass Petal to him, heat shooting through me. My heart rushes like strong winds, blowing me somewhere I've never been.

Petal curls into Nate's arms, and I wonder if they've met before. How long has Nate been coming to my cave? I want to know so much more, like where he lives and what his people are like. I thought he came from a sea society, but without his bulky tubes, he looks so … well … normal.

The sinking sun reminds me I'm running out of time, so I speak quickly. “I won't be able to come back to the cave. Will you visit her?”

“I promise,” he says, clasping a hand over his heart. “I wish you weren't leaving. You're the most interesting girl I've ever met.”

“You must not have met many girls.” My cheeks heat like a sunburn.

“Oh, I know many—but no one like you. If things were different I'd take you to my ….” He stops abruptly, frowning.

“Your what?”

“Nowhere. You have your side of the Fence and I … I can't ever be like you.” His eyes shine blue sadness. “I hate good-byes.”

“I hate them too,” I say softly.

Abruptly, he turns from the Fence with Petal. With agile moves, he climbs down the trail to the sea. I watch until the tangled brush swallows him.

For the second time today, Nate is gone.

And I still know nothing about him.

It's not cold outside, but I'm shaking. Wrapping my arms around my shoulders, I leave the Fence.

My heart is heavy stone, yet I must hide my emotions. I slow at the sound of voices. Families gather in groups outside the dorms, talking.

Ducking into the bathroom, I splash water on my face and pluck off orange-red leaves from my tunic. These sticky leaves only grow on the trees near the sea—which could lead to dangerous questions.

In my dorm room, I hurriedly finish packing, since the Cross Family will expect me to join them with my belongings. I yank open drawers and toss clothes, shoes, and everything else into a leather bag. I wrap my sea treasures in clothing, careful with each precious shell, coral, and polished rock. Grabbing the bags, I hurry to find my Family.

My Family.
I still can't wrap my thoughts around my new role. Milly Cross. Once I have Milly's memories, the name will seem familiar. If I had more time, I'd go to the learning room and read the Cross Name Book. I know the braided woman is Milly's sister, Rosemarie, but I don't know if Milly has a spouse or children. I don't even know how she died.

“Where have you been?” When I turn, there's Marcus. He's carrying two bulging bags, heavy with all his notebooks and nature collections. There's a dirty smudge on his chin
that makes me think of our mud battles and frog races. This is the last we'll be together as Jennza and Marcus.

“I was in the girls' dorm,” I tell him.

“Not twenty minutes ago.”

“You know better than to go into the girls' room.” I muster up outrage to stop his questions. “That's completely forbidden.”

He snorts. “As if you never do anything forbidden? You went back there, didn't you?”

“I don't know what you mean.” I press my lips tightly. “I wasn't feeling well and have been in the privacy room vomiting.”

“Oh, Jennza.” He hangs his head. “I never thought the Cross Family would Choose you. I was sure they'd want a boy. I am so sorry. If I'd researched them, at least you would have been ready for a better Name.”

“It's not your fault,” I touch his hand reassuringly. “Besides, I will do well with the Cross Family. I have a sister, Rosemarie, who is very sweet. She even gave me a gift. Don't worry about me. Enjoy your joy at becoming a Sarwald.”

“I am,” he says with a sudden smile. “I expected work with gardens and orchards, but I just found out my memdenity will bring knowledge of pollination techniques. The first Neil was an apiarist—a honey keeper.”

“That's great.” I try not to sound envious.

“I'm sorry you didn't get the Family you expected, but the Cross Family dwells near the Sarwalds, so we should be able to meet often.”

“Still, why did they Choose me instead of a boy? I don't understand it.”

“You're not large or muscled, but you're tough. When
you tackle a project, you never give up.”

“Never,” I say, forcing a grin.

“Remember when we raced and you stumbled in a hole and sprained your ankle? You were in last place but even when the winner was announced, you didn't quit until you crossed the finish line.” He gazes at me with something like admiration. He's different tonight—more confident and full of purpose, as if his new identity has matured him, while I'd rather stay a youth and play games with my best mates.

But I know Marcus cares about me, which means a lot. “I'll be okay,” I tell him again, perhaps more to reassure myself. “Thank you for everything, Marcus.”

“Neil,” he corrects.

But to me he'll always be Marcus.

We don't talk any more as we leave the dorms of our youth to join our Families. The Sarwalds, a large group of ruddy, tanned men and women, surround Marcus with back-slapping and rowdy voices. His bags are snatched by Grand Sarwald, who pats Marcus on the shoulder. “I'll carry them for you, Neil.”

Beyond them, I see the Cross Family—the men standing with arms folded as if bored and Rosemarie peering around anxiously, clearly looking for me. I don't see the unfriendly woman.

“There you are,” a soft, lyrical voice calls behind me.

I stop, stunned, recognizing that voice. When I turn, I'm facing Scientist Lila, dazzling in purple and gold, her silver hair shining too bright for an ordinary human. But then a scientist is far from ordinary.

“Me?” I gasp, dizzy to be so close to a real scientist.

“I'm so glad to meet you, Jennza,” Scientist Lila says
warmly. “No one knew where you were, and we nearly called the Uniforms to search for you.”

“I was packing,” I say quickly.

“Of course you were.” Her gaze captures mine with humor I don't understand. “This is an exciting day for you, and I'm sure you're eager to join your new Family. But I've spoken to them and gained permission to talk with you privately.”

Graces good! Am I hearing right? Why would a scientist want to talk to me? I have never heard of anything so awe-making ever happening to a youth.

My hands tremble, so I clasp them together. “Have I done something wrong?”

“My stars, no.” Her laugh is music, and I'm drawn closer, wanting to touch the silky fabric of her tunic. “Will you walk with me?”

I nod, even more confused when I remember her brother warning her to stay away from youths. Yet here she is with me.

“Jennza,” the scientist says once we have turned a corner of the dorm building where no one else in near. “We don't have much time, and there's something of importance I need to ask you.”

My head spins. What does a scientist—
a scientist!—
want from me? The only thing I am sure of is that it can't be good.

She's staring at me with an intense gaze, one hand lightly on my shoulder. “I need you to be honest with me,” she says solemnly.

“I never lie,” I say automatically.

“Never?” she challenges.

I glance away. “Well … not without a good reason.”

“Now that's an honest answer I can respect.” She chuckles. “Some lies are necessary, but knowing when to be truthful is necessary too.”

“Has someone been talking … about me?” What has she heard? That I have poor study habits and lose my temper? (Homer deserved a bloody nose for releasing Marcus' earwigs collection into the girls' dorm).

“It's nothing like that.” Lila flicks her purple-gold fingernails, flashing a sapphire ring that dazzles as brilliant as stars. “I'm concerned about your future.”

“You are?” My mouth drops open.

“The reasons you were Chosen trouble me.”

I bite my lip. “I don't understand.”

“You weren't Chosen because of your skills but because of your lack of them. They have always selected boys, so usually only the boys are prepared with a Cross name. Not the girls,” she says angrily. “You had no real Choice. Leader Cross was swayed by his cousin Rosemarie who still grieves for her sister. They want to replace Milly.”

“Rosemarie is kind,” I say, well aware I'm talking to one of the most powerful people in ShareHaven. “I'll do my best to be a good sister.”

Lila touches my cheek softly. “You don't belong with the Cross Family.”

I stare at her, relief rushing through my veins. It's a mistake! I won't have to go with the Cross Family. I was tricked, and a powerful scientist is on my side …. But why is she interested in me? She seems sincere, but her brother's words push down my hope.
Stay away from the youths.
What was he warning her about? Could speaking to her be dangerous?

I twist the edge of my red scarf. “The Crosses are my
Family now.”

“Is this really what you want? To perform mundane duties rather than stretch your mind and discover your true potential?” She draws closer to me, and I'm drowning in perfume and uncertainty. “Do you want to bond with the Cross Family?”

“If I answer truthfully, I'll dishonor my Family.”

“I will tell no one how you answer,” she assures.