Memory of You (A Misty Cove Love Story) (5 page)

“I was so hurt.” I looked down at my trembling hands, tears dripping onto them. “I always had this fear of being cheated on. When I saw you standing at the altar, all I could think of was… what I saw. I couldn’t go through with it. Gran tried to stop me from running off to New York, but it would have hurt too much to see you around town.”

“I’d never have hurt you, especially not like that.” He sighed and pulled me close and kissed my temple. He smelled warm and spicy. “I guess we both made mistakes out of hurt. You should have talked to me, but I should also have followed you. I should have chased you and demanded answers, but I didn't because my heart was too broken. Being left at the altar hurts like shit.” He pulled back so he could gaze into my eyes. “I’m sorry too.”

“You don’t owe me an apology. You don’t. I feel terrible.” I wiped my eyes. “I wish I could take it all back... change things, you know.”

“Me too.” His voice was low and throaty.

“Maybe... maybe we could still—”

“No.” He kissed me on the side of my head again. He knew what I was going to say, and he was rejecting me before I even finished my sentence.

He stood up and looked down at me with sad eyes. “The person that called earlier. She...she's...” He threw his hands in the air and let them drop again at his sides. “I’ve been dating someone. I asked her to marry me two months ago. She said yes.” He paused. “We were going to spend Christmas together, but her mother is sick. She wanted to spend time with her family.”

“You're engaged?” It wasn't meant to come out as a question, more like a statement to myself. I found it hard to swallow the rock that had formed inside my throat.

“Yes. We're getting married in a month.”

I didn't say a word, didn't know what to say or think. We had cleared up the mess I’d made, but we couldn’t turn back the clock. After losing so much time together because of a stupid misunderstanding, I’d have wanted to give us another chance, to try to get back what we had lost. He was still the man I loved, the man I had never stopped loving even when I’d thought he had hurt me. Now I was about to lose Bryce for the second time.

All I could do was bite back the tears, but they were refusing to be held back. They coursed down my cheeks as my heart cracked and ached inside my chest.

He sat down again and drew me to him, his chin on the top of my head. I felt his heart beating as fast as mine was. Was he grieving us the way I was, or did he feel more for his current fiancée than he had ever felt for me?

He let me cry until I couldn't anymore. Then he said the obvious, but the words formed a dagger that hit my already broken heart.

“I can't call off the wedding. You understand that, don't you? I can't do to her what you did to me.”

Chapter Nine

It had been almost a week since Bryce proved that he had not cheated on me, a week since he told me he was moving on with someone else, and I still hadn’t recovered.

I went about my daily business pretending I was all right, but I fought the urge to lock myself inside my cottage and weep. Even watching comedies with Erin and taking long walks on the beach didn’t seem to help at all.

New Year’s Eve was the hardest for me. My life had been such a mess I didn’t feel like I had anything to celebrate. 2014 had been a painful year to say the least and I wasn’t looking forward to 2015. All I could see in the future was a life without Bryce. I joined Erin at the yearly Misty Cove beach party, secretly hoping to see Bryce there, but he didn’t come. It hurt to think it, but I guessed he was spending it with his fiancée in Alabama—I’d heard gossip that that was where she was from.

“Amazing how a misunderstanding can change lives forever,” Erin said as we walked to Bronny’s Steakhouse for dinner. We had just finished our shift, but we felt like eating something other than the meals at
Gayle’s Diner
.

I hooked my arm into Erin’s and we crossed the street to the other side. Jerome, who was drunk as usual, burst out of a bar and almost crashed into us. We stepped aside in time.

“Eefning ladies,” he said, nodding. Then he stumbled into the road.

We stopped to make sure he made it safe to the other side. He did and burst into another bar on the other side. Didn’t the man get enough?

Erin and I exchanged looks and walked on.

“I can’t believe he greeted us,” I said, laughing. “I’m still haunted by the day he showed up to accuse me of stealing his money.” I stopped speaking as I remembered the way Bryce had walked in and helped me. The warmth left behind by his kind act was drowned with the pain of loss.

“Will I ever get over Bryce? It seems impossible.”

“I wish I could tell you that you will, honey.” Erin opened the door to the restaurant and we walked in, enveloped by the sounds of music, conversations, and laughter, and the smell of meat and spices.

There was no more talk of Bryce as we ordered our drinks and food. Instead we talked about Erin’s relationship with Trevor Laclaire. It was too selfish of me to only focus on my own life.

“You bloom just saying his name.” I smiled at my friend. Trevor had gone back to Nashville to shoot his next big film, but Erin still looked so happy. “You love him, don’t you?”

Erin lifted her knife and fork. “I’ve always loved him.”

“You don’t mind that he’s away so much of the time?”

“No,” she said and cut into her steak. “I know he will always come back. I can’t imagine him having better sex with anyone else.”

I laughed. “You’re very confident.” I paused. “I don’t want you to get hurt.” I knew all too well what that felt like. I didn’t want my friend to go through it too.

“As long as we’re not exclusive, I will be fine. He can see who he wants while in Nashville. When he comes back to town, he’s all mine.” She slipped a piece of meat into her mouth and started chewing.

I couldn’t understand how Erin could be in an open relationship while it killed me to think of Bryce with another woman. “You’re a stronger woman than I’ll ever be, Erin Miles.” I took a sip from my glass of wine. “But don’t you ever want to get married and have kids?”

Erin shrugged. “Maybe one day. I’m thirty. I still want to have some more fun. Marriage is boring.”

It was amazing how opposites could attract. Erin and I wanted different things from life and yet we were so close. “I want to get married again one day. But this time I want it to be the right person.” The problem was that the only person who had ever felt right for me was Bryce.

“You know what I think?” Erin asked, cutting through my thoughts. “I don’t think you’ll ever get over Bryce. I also don’t think he will get over you.”

I wondered if she was right. Could our connection be strong even when we were apart?

Chapter Ten

Two weeks before Bryce’s wedding, I saw him again at the diner.

I had just served my first customers of the evening, when I turned around and met his gaze. He was sitting at a corner booth that was reserved for people who wanted to order something to take away. Our eyes held for a moment and my heart started to race. I tightened my hands on the tray of drinks I was carrying to avoid it falling from them because of slippage.

I pulled my gaze from his and went to serve the drinks. Instead of filling the tray with more orders, I placed it on the bar counter. “I’ll be right back,” I said to Linda Gayle as I rushed to the bathroom.

Inside the small space, I took a deep breath and clasped my hands together, trying to stop them from trembling. When my breathing returned to normal, I splashed my face with cold water, grateful for the fact that I didn’t wear makeup.

If only I could hide inside the bathroom until he left. But I had work to get back to and I was a grown woman. I needed to talk to him, to apologize again for accusing him of doing something so horrible. The apology of the other night wasn’t enough. I would also be a grown up and tell him the truth about how I felt about him. He needed to know, even if I would have no control over what he decided to do with that information. Even if I was subjecting myself to more hurt. The desire to tell him one last time was too strong to ignore.

I swallowed my fears and insecurities and walked out of the toilet, hoping Bryce had not left.

He hadn’t, and his gaze was still fixed in my direction. I squared my shoulders and walked up to him.

“Can I get you something?”

“No, thanks. Linda Gayle already took my order.” A small smile twitched at the corner of his lips.

I nodded and started to turn around and leave, but my feet were determined to not go anywhere. I turned back to him.

“Do you think… can we talk?” I held my breath as he studied my face. My stomach twisted as I waited for him to say no.

He nodded and stood.

At that moment, Linda Gayle brought Bryce’s order. He took it and gestured for me to follow him out the door.

“I’ll only be a moment,” I said to Linda Gayle before leaving with him.

“Take your time,” she said, and gave me what looked like a look of pity. She knew about the turn of events with Bryce, and she had encouraged me to try and move on for good without him.

“Let’s talk inside my truck.”

I climbed into the passenger’s seat and twisted my body so I was almost facing him.

“I thought we said all there was to say the other day,” he said.

“You don’t have to say anything.” I gripped the side of my seat, digging my short nails into it, looking for courage. “I want to say something to you.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

I bit my lip. It was damn hard to be this close and not be allowed to touch him. “I want to apologize. Bryce, I am so sorry for… for accusing you of cheating on me. I had no idea it wasn’t you.” I drew a shaky breath. “And I am sorry for leaving you at the altar. I wish… God, I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could erase the pain you felt that day. I loved you so much. It hurt like hell to think you would do that to me. I acted out of pain. I want you to know that I regret everything.” I swallowed hard. “And I still love you, Bryce. I don’t think I ever stopped.”

“Jade, I don’t know why you’re telling me this. I thought you loved me. But you married someone else.” He paused. “Did he break your heart? Is that why you came back to town?”

“He’s dead,” I said.

“I’m sorry.” He lowered his voice to match mine. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Bryce…” I raised my hand to touch him and changed my mind, dropped it in my lap. “I felt something for him… in the beginning. But he was the wrong man for me. I never got over you. I thought I did, but… I guess that’s not possible.”

“I accept your apology,” he said without taking his gaze of mine. He touched my hand, sending my senses spinning. “Jade, I loved you then, and I think… I know, I will always love you. But it’s too late. You telling me that you love me can’t change anything, not anymore. I’ve made a commitment to someone else.”

“And you will marry her even if you still love me.” The words were not meant to be spoken out loud but they came out anyway, and I wanted to snatch them from the air, to swallow them.

He drew his hands away from mine and his expression hardened. “I’m not one to break a commitment. I
will
get married.” He paused. “And maybe in time, you and me will get past this hurt and be friends again. But I cannot do what I think you’re asking me to do. I don’t think it’s fair of you to even think it.”

“What if you’re making a mistake?” I couldn’t shut my mouth. The words needed to be said or regret would follow. “What if somewhere down the line you regret it?”

“The biggest regret of all would be me walking away from a woman who loves me, someone who has done nothing to deserve the pain… the pain that I know too well.”

I dropped my head and blinked several times. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t let him see me cry. He had made his decision, like I had made mine five years ago. I had to find the strength to live with it.

“I want you to be happy.” I looked up again, blinking furiously. “If this is what you want, I’ll find a way to be happy for you. Congratulations.”

He looked at me then. “It
is
what I want. Thank you,” he said softly. “I hope you will be happy again one day. For all it’s worth, I’m glad you came back home.” He drew his hand away from mine and placed both on the steering wheel, looking ahead. “Do you like working for Linda Gayle? I figured you would look for something in marketing.”

I gave him a bittersweet smile. This was what we had left, normal conversation that friends would have. “It’s a job. It’s a start. I hope I’ll return to the business world one day. At the moment, Misty Cove doesn’t have many options for me.”

He gave a small nod. “I hope you find what you’re searching for. You deserve it.”

“Thank you. Goodbye, Bryce.” I stepped out of his truck, walked away without looking back, leaving pieces of my heart falling by the roadside.

Chapter Eleven

What was wrong with people? Was holding a grudge more important to them than making money?

It had taken me fifteen minutes to convince Rose to book me in for a manicure and pedicure. I almost blew up while trying to convince her that she was not being a traitor for offering me her services.

“You're running a business here? You do want to make money, don't you? I bet most of your customers ask to pay you later.”

“Yes, but...” Her dark eyes flitted to the door and then she smoothed the side of her bun. She was conflicted, and I relaxed because I knew I had struck where it hurt. Just another little push.

“You are single mother trying to earn a living.” I reached for her gaze and held it. “I want to help. In addition to a manicure and pedicure, I'll throw in a facial.”

Rose bit the corner of her lip and then nodded. “I guess that's all right. Follow me. I'll take care of you myself.” She forced a bright smile.

She took me to a small back room, which was well hidden from the prying eyes of people who might want to call Rose a traitor.