Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (8 page)

Darcy finished his entry with a flourish and dropped his pen back in the tray with a satisfied nod.  “Yes, will any lady want
your
favour Mr. Bingley?”  He demanded of the page, then sat back and smiled, remembering his cold reception and the approving nods he garnered from the old members gathered nearby.  Then he thought again of how Bingley seemed to take no notice of his cut, if anything he seemed to be grateful for the conversation and endeavoured to be . . .very pleasant.  “Listen to me speaking of the ladies as if there were a competition for them!  Take them all Bingley, not one of them interests me.”  Darcy thought it over some more, and remembered actually feeling a twinge of pity for the young man, as friends and acquaintances seemed to join together in small conspiracies, telling him of initiation rituals he must endure to truly become a member of the club’s upper circles, and how Bingley eagerly lapped up the information.  “You are in for a rough time.”  Darcy said softly, reverting to his old self, and felt ashamed that he did nothing to step in.  He would have been listened to, a Darcy of Pemberley was important; a Bingley of nowhere was not.

A knock at the door was quickly acknowledged and pulled him from his thoughts.  “Georgiana, you look very pretty!”  He said a little more enthusiastically than was his wont of late.

She blushed with pleasure and looked down at her striped gown.  “Thank you, Fitzwilliam; at least it is no longer all black.  I am ready to go if you are.”

“Yes, yes, come, I understand that the exhibition is quite breathtaking.”  He jumped up, offering her his arm, and led her from his study and out to the carriage where they were quickly on their way to the Royal Academy of Art.  He smiled warmly at her.  “Tell me of your studies, what has Mrs. Somers set you to learn this week?”

“Oh, we are discussing Donne and Blake, and then tomorrow we will begin studying the new globe that you purchased for me.”

“Excellent!”  He smiled.  “You will be a very accomplished lady one day, and will add admirably to any conversation.”

“I hope so, Brother.”  She whispered.  “I want you to be proud of me.”

“I will be, dear.”  He smiled.  “I already am.  Father would be so pleased with you.” 

She smiled shyly in return and they arrived at the exhibition.  “There seems to be quite a crowd today.”

“Yes.”  He frowned at the varied dress of the visitors.  “It seems that anybody is able to visit.”  Shrugging, he stepped out of the coach and offered his hand.  “Well, we shall enjoy it despite the company.”  They entered and joined the slow-moving queue as they wound their way about the exhibition.  Darcy took the opportunity to point out his favourite artists and encouraged Georgiana to speak and comment on hers.  Coming behind a man and two ladies, they waited their turn to step closer to one painting.  He listened to the intelligent comments of the gentleman, nodding in approval, then startled when he heard a soft, musical laugh, followed by an equally warm voice from the young woman as she made her observations.  Her companions laughed with her and he attempted to see around the brim of her bonnet to no avail.  The group moved on, and as much as he wished to follow her, he was forced to remain with Georgiana to look at the painting.   But instead of his original opinion that had formed as he waited, he thought over the remarks of the young woman and smiled, seeing exactly her points, and even chuckling softly. 

Georgiana looked up to him. “What amuses you so?”

“I am not sure; I suppose that I am delighting in the comments of someone with great insight.”  He smiled warmly and she responded happily.  Squeezing her hand they moved on, and he searched the crowd for the mysterious woman, his smile falling away as he found no success.  The laugh had struck him, he was sure that he knew it. 

From across the hall, Elizabeth stood by her uncle and watched as Darcy scanned the room.  He seemed to be searching for someone and she noticed his furrowed brow and disappointed expression. 
Who do you search for, Mr. Darcy?
  She wondered.  He was instantly recognizable to her; that was a face she could never forget.  Her heart beat faster just to be in the same room with him, but to approach with no introduction was impossible.  She considered walking by to see if he noticed her, and bit her lip. 

At that moment Darcy’s searching eyes found hers.  Once again she was speared by their sad blue, but this time there was more, he was examining her. 
Am I so changed from a year ago?  Remember me!
  She urged.  Question appeared in his expression and she gathered her wits and smiled, softly, warmly, kindly.  She saw him tilt his head and draw a breath, then his lips lifted, and the breath was let go.  The sadness was replaced with hope.  The girl at his side, undoubtedly his sister, spoke to him and he bent his head to answer her question.

Darcy looked back up again but only saw the crowd.  His brow furrowed. 
Lizzy?  Where are you?

25 MAY 1808

He saw me!  I cannot believe that he remembered me but he did!  And he smiled!  He has the sweetest smile; I could look at it all day.  The corners of his mouth just start to tug upwards and his eyes light up.  I sound silly but nobody will read this besides me so I really do not care.  Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy smiled at me! 

I wish that Uncle had not pulled me away, but I guess that I was standing there gaping like a fish and Aunt must have nudged him.  They asked what had interested me, and of course I could not say that I was staring at the most beautiful and handsome man in the world; could I?  But I was!   

His sister was with him again, she has grown since last year.  I wonder if she will be as tall as her brother?  He still looks so sad, and I believe that I know why now.  He wore a black armband and his sister was dressed in half-mourning.   I am afraid to know who they might have lost.  I wish that I could offer my condolences; they both seemed in need of a friend. 

I hope that I do not have to wait another year to meet him again, and maybe next time I will speak to him.  I would just die to hear him say something to me!

Elizabeth giggled and set down her pen.  Mrs. Gardiner stood in the doorway and watched her niece and smiled at her happiness.  “What has pleased you so, Lizzy?”

Instantly Elizabeth closed her journal and stood.  Mrs. Gardiner’s brows rose.  “Oh, nothing, I was just thinking about what we saw at the exhibition.  It was very pleasing.”  She blushed and hurried past.  “I should go and find Benjamin, I am certain that he is ready to play.”  Her aunt watched her go and looked back at the journal, shook her head and left to see to her duties.

When the three adults gathered for dinner that evening Mr. Gardiner watched Elizabeth pick at her meal and stare dreamily off into the distance.  He raised his brows and silently asked his wife what was occupying their niece.  She smiled.  “Lizzy, I do not recall you ever looking so happy, and that is saying quite a great deal since you are nearly always that way.  I enjoyed the exhibition; however I do not feel a need to be pulled from the clouds.”

“Oh, I just enjoyed seeing so many things, Aunt.  It was nice to see beauty in person rather than trying to imagine it.” She bit her lip and blushed.  Mr. Gardiner chuckled.  “Well then Lizzy, do you think that you will enjoy viewing something a little less educational?  I thought that you might like to attend the Derby at Epsom Downs this weekend.” 

“A horserace?”  Elizabeth’s eyes opened wide and she looked to her aunt.  “Really?  Oh yes, I would love that!”

“It is not Ascot but yes, it is quite a horserace.”  He chuckled at her.  “Good, we never miss it, well, except when your aunt is with child.”  He smiled at his wife.  “I thought that you and I could go together.  What do you say?”

“Yes!”  She laughed.  “Oh it will be so hard to return to Longbourn after this trip.  I am afraid you may have a new resident here.”

“Thank you dear, you are forever welcome, but I am sure that before long you will want to return to your walks and your books.”  He smiled.  “It becomes a dull place here when the Season ends and all the gentry leave for their sport in the country. The rest of us are left to endure the quiet of our simple lives.”

“I had not really thought of that.  I have never visited in autumn or winter.  I suppose everyone leaves.”  She said thoughtfully.  “I do not know why I am surprised, though.  They all seem to appear in the countryside!”

“Yes, except they are brandishing guns when they come to your home.”  Mr. Gardiner laughed. 

“May we visit Hyde Park one day before I return home?”  Elizabeth turned to her aunt.  “I enjoyed it last year.”

“Of course, Lizzy, I knew that you would ask.  Perhaps you will show me that path that drew your particular attention.” 

“I hope to Aunt, I do.” 

“WELL THEN IT IS settled, we travel to the Derby this weekend.”  Lord Matlock took a sip of wine and reached for the snuff.  “Whose carriage will we take?”

“Mine is largest, so it should be comfortable for the four of us.”  Darcy offered.

“Nobody likes a braggart, Darcy.”  His cousin Viscount Layton smiled, and Darcy frowned.  “I was joking, where has your humour gone?”

“Forgive me Stephen, I find very little to be humorous of late.”  He picked up his glass and took a sip.  “I am not good company.  I probably should not even be attending the race.”

“You need to be with people, Darcy.  You have shut yourself up in this house for too long.  It is affecting you.”

“I went to my club yesterday.”  He said defensively.

“Oh, I heard about that, you were all over that puppy from Scarborough, what was his name?  Bingley?”  Robert Singleton sat forward and laughed.  “I heard that you cut him as skilfully with your tongue as you could with your blade.  Well done!”

“Did you?”  Lord Matlock’s brow drew together.  “I wonder what your father would think of that.”

Darcy met his eye.  “I was thinking of my father when I did it, sir.”  The earl’s brows rose and Darcy flushed, remembering his discomfort with his behaviour.

“Pride goeth before the fall.”  Singleton said with a twitch to his lips. 

Layton grinned.  “I see that my sister has been successful in her quest to take you to church.”

“Not at all, I am merely responding automatically in fear of having my knuckles rapped if I do not speak up.”  The men laughed, except Darcy, who was staring pensively into his glass. 

“Come on, man, we are simply having a joke!”  Singleton looked at his brother and father-in-law.  “Darcy!”

He startled.  “Forgive me, I was thinking of something else.”

“Obviously.  Who was she?”  Layton winked and nudged his father.  Darcy startled and looked up at him with wide eyes.  “Damn, do you mean I was correct?  Well, who is she?”

A knock on the door was heard and Darcy called to allow entry.  “Pardon me, sir, but the ladies request that the gentlemen join them in the drawing room.”  He bowed and left. 

Darcy was instantly on his feet.  “Shall we?”

“Smooth, Darcy, but we will return to this conversation.”  Layton smiled and saw that his cousin had once again slipped away behind the mask.  He met his father’s gaze and they shook their heads.

“I AM AFRAID that you will not be able to see a great deal, Lizzy.”  Mr. Gardiner said apologetically.  “I tried to get seats in the grandstands, but they were snapped up by the gentry instantly.”

“Oh Uncle, I do not mind at all standing here with the rabble.”  Elizabeth laughed.  Her eyes were bright; taking in the crowd, the holiday atmosphere was infectious.  “There are so many people here to study, I am sure that even if I cannot see above their hats, I will still have a very entertaining time.  I suppose that we can still place a bet?”

He chuckled.  “Of course.  Which horse do you choose?”

Elizabeth scanned the names on the list printed in the morning paper and bit her lip.  “Pan.”  She nodded. 

“And why is that?” 

“Is he not the Greek god of the forests and nature?  What more appropriate choice for a girl who likes to roam the woods?”

Mr. Gardiner chuckled, “Well, yes that is some of his history.” He stood close to her, keeping her safe from the rowdy crowd, and they moved as far forward as they could.  Elizabeth drank in the sights.  Her eye was drawn to a handsome young man, smiling and speaking rapidly.  Then her brow creased, noticing that the young man was the subject of a great deal of attention from his neighbours.  She recognized their thinly veiled disdain and his oblivion.    From behind she heard men’s voices, and turned her head to see them.  The voices were cultured, and more significantly, she heard a name. 

“We should have left sooner.” 

“Well if you had not been so drunk on Darcy’s wine . . .”

“It was not his wine; it was the ball we attended afterwards.” 

“I cannot stand being left to watch from here.  Come now Father, an Earl with the public?  You know it will be frowned upon if anyone hears.”

“There are plenty of people being turned away from the grandstands.  Ever since that fool tried to attack a horse three years ago, attendance has grown.  I should have known, the public loves to see blood.”

“Darcy, look there, is that your new friend, Bingley?

“He is not my friend, Stephen, and I wish that you would desist.” Elizabeth’s breath caught to hear his voice and she rose up on her toes to try and see his face. A man moved and as his head turned she saw him  “Oh.” She whispered. Darcy’s eyes were fixed ahead. She followed his gaze and saw that he was watching the young man and his tormentors. She heard some laughter from the group, then watched as the man withdrew a large handful of notes from his coat and was counting it out, looking up to the ringleader, almost as if he were asking if the tribute he was paying was sufficient. Clearly he was being hoodwinked and it made her angry. She glared at the scene

“He seems to be laying down a bet or two.” Singleton observed with a knowing wink to his brother. “He had better be careful or he will be through his money before he even comes of age.”